-PROLOGUE-
"Jeff, do you require assistance?" EDI asked, strolling into the port-side lounge of the Normandy, holding several grocery bags in each hand. Joker was hobbling in at a slower pace, persistent in trying to get his own load across the threshold.
"Yeah, nngh... fine..." Joker grunted as he set his bags on top of the bar. EDI effortlessly placed hers next to Joker's and started emptying them as he placed himself on a seat by the bar. The Normandy was docked at the Citadel so most of the crew were either in it or pre-occupying themselves elsewhere.
"Why did Commander Shepard require us to purchase all of this alcohol?" EDI enquired as she placed the bottles away behind the bar.
"He was droning on about morale... and a little word in from me, boom, I made this happen. Plus the fact it's booze on the Alliance's dime, what idiot would pass that up?" Joker explained, taking one of the bottles out and inspecting it.
"My records show that alcohol is known to make people extremely violent and unpredictable." EDI stated bluntly.
"Yeah, but it really depends on the people... or what kind of booze. If you see a Krogan drinking what you're drinking, you can bet your ass you'll end up on the floor first." Joker continued examining the bottle before handing it to EDI. She placed the final bottle away before standing motionless. Joker looked up and raised an eyebrow, he was about to say something before she broke the silence.
"Jeff, I just had a thought."
"What kind of a thought's that, EDI?" Joker sighed a bit, half of him expecting a lecture on the proper consumption of alcohol. Wordlessly, EDI positioned herself in front of a security camera in the lounge.
"Why don't we send this feed to your station?" EDI suggested. Joker smirked at the idea.
"While that would be awesome, can you actually do that?" Joker asked.
"I just did. Considering the long flight patterns we go on, and only having so much to talk about, I concluded that we should at least have what you like to call "In-flight Entertainment"." Joker's smirk transformed into a grin.
"Seeing drunken antics of the crew? It's the most fun I can think of without drinking myself."
"I highly advise you do not drink whilst at the helm of the Normandy, Jeff."
"I know that, EDI." Joker sighed as he stumbled off the stool.