In a random place...
Moose: Hey everyone!
Kitt: Hip decided to write a serious story. It's a miracle! Well, here he is-
Hip: Guys? Why does this broken glass I'm chewing taste like blood?
Moose: Hip! Spit that out right now! You're cutting your mouth!
Hip: Okay okay fine! I hear Listerine does quite the wonder to the mouth to prevent wounds- AUGHHHHHH! OH MY GOSH IT BURNS!
Kitt: Hip... It helps with cavities, not wounds. You are too idiotic for a serious story.
Hip: No I'm not! Watch this!
On the second story of Bowser's Castle, several shouts, numerous noises from a video game firing off, and even a bit of laughter, are all present. Here, all seven Koopalings are in the playroom doing their own activities.
Ludwig is sitting in a corner with a portable table covered with various sheet music he is composing. The eldest Koopaling seems to be wearing earplugs to drown out the noise pollution occurring in the room.
'Why am I stuck here?' Ludwig muttered to himself, tapping on his table in impatience, 'I'm nearly fifteen, yet I am practically caged up with my younger siblings.'
As Ludwig sits there, lamenting to himself, the rest of the Koopalings are gathered around the television. There, Lemmy, Larry, Roy and Morton are playing a beta version of Super Smash Brothers on the Nintendo 64 while Iggy watches them. Wendy is sitting by them talking on the wireless home phone.
"I choose Link!" Larry called out.
"I'm going to be King Dad! Heck yeah!" Roy continued.
Lemmy shakes his head, "What a suckup."
"Hush, or I will take care of it for ya. Uhh, in game, of course!"
"King dad?" Morton questioned, "How is he in this game? He got cut out from the final version."
Roy answers back, "He was eventually cut from the final version of the game because Peach left."
Larry leans over to Lemmy and mumbles something to him. Lemmy giggles and nods his head.
"Hey! What are you saying over there!" questioned Roy, giving the two Koopalings a glare. Both Lemmy and Larry shrug.
Morton notices the tension among the others and yells out, "It's on like Donkey Kong! Speaking of, I choose Donkey Kong!"
Lemmy remains silent as he moves his cursor onto the character of his choice. He then presses A with a smile.
"I'M-A MARIO!" the video game echoed.
The other Koopalings laugh at the character Lemmy chooses. The small Koopaling continues smiling as he makes his way to the select course area.
"Oh gosh Lemmy! You're lucky Daddy isn't here!" Wendy informed, giggling at her older brother. She then gets back into her phone conversation, "Oh yeah, Sarah! That's so stupid!"
"What would King Dad do? Cry?" the ball-riding Koopaling questioned, shrugging after the query.
"% ^&% #^&^&#^#*&^*&^$&*#&*($*& % #*&^!" Larry spoke in his weird language. Being the only one to understand it, Lemmy laughs out loud.
"Oh my gosh, Larry!" Lemmy attempted to voice out after each bout of laughter, "I don't think Dad likes to play with Barbie dolls though!"
"... Barbie dolls?" Iggy questioned, "I don't like this... secret language between Lemmy and Larry..."
"Yeah, well..." Larry smiled, "You can always learn it!"
"But... How?"
Larry simply shrugs, "You tell me, genius."
Meanwhile, in the corner, Ludwig picks up the sheet music, collapses his portable table and puts his sheets of music on the downed table. Leaving the table in the corner, the eldest brother then attempts to open the door as quietly as he can.
"I vill zee eef I can get on ze computer for some research on Bach, Haydn and Tchaikovsky," Ludwig instructed himself as he turns the knob and pushes the door. Unfortunately for the poofy-haired Koopaling, the rusty hinges of the door utter a little squeak; fortunately for him, the Melee game is playing too loud and the hallways are clear.
Nervously peeking out of the room, the eldest Koopaling then ventures out of the room and into the deserted hallway. Quiet as an overweight Koopaling can be, Ludwig ventures down the hall and, after a bit of walking, finds himself face-to-face with a huge, bronze, gem-plated statue of his father, the statue manifesting to Ludwig that he is currently outside of Bowser's throne room.
Carefully opening the door, Ludwig peeks in and sees a new, crimson-colored Windows 98 desktop computer leaning against the same wall as the empty throne; Bowser is not present in the room, nor are any of his servants. Seeing the empty throne room, Ludwig sneaks into the throne room, makes his way to the computer and turns it on.
As the computer boots up, Ludwig makes himself comfortable in the leather office chair. The computer then makes a loud, foreign welcome noise as the desktop appears. Closing a startup notification message from McAfee and Microsoft Word 1997, Ludwig moves the cursor over to the Darkland Online application and opens it.
A window for DOL pops up and Ludwig is asked to provide a username.
"Hmm, let's see..." Ludwig thought to himself. He then types 'Geniusboy' in the username box and... Well, several asterisks in the password box.
"ACCESS DENIED!"
"Oh. Let me try King Dad's account."
Ludwig changes the username from Geniusboy to KingKoopa, then types more asterisks into the password box. When Ludwig presses the enter key, the DOL application loads and a CONNECTING box shows up. Seconds later, the sickening sound of dial-up fills up the entire room.
"Hello. YOU GOT MAIL!" the voice said after the voice. Curiously, Ludwig checks the email.
Sir Bowser,
This is Dr. Sawtooth. The genetic tests between you and your sons are back. The Y chromosomes of your sons do not match those of yours; they are very, very different. In other words, unless freak mutations occurred or the chromosomes somehow participated in recombination, your sons are not yours. We have not checked the genetic sample for your daughter, Wendy, yet, but we will have results posted to you within the next week or two.
Hope this news did not wreck your day,
Dr. Romai Sawtooth
After reading the message, Ludwig's face dropped. Everything their father said was nothing but a lie.
'He is not our father,' Ludwig stated to himself angrily, 'and he knew it all along.'
Moose: Uhh... Wow.
Kitt: Seems, well, interesting.
Hip: Believe me now?
Moose: You know you won't continue in this seriousness THAT long! Do NOT deny it.
Hip: Whatever. We'll see. People can just review and make fun of me or whatever.
Moose: Okay! But... If you fail the test...
Moose then pulls Colin and Ana from Song of the Lioness into the room
Moose: Then... Something bad happens to them! Mwahahahaha!
Hip: I'll show you, Moosey. Plus, they're my sister's gig, not mine.
Kitt: Fair enough. Anyway, until next time!