Hey there! Okay so this is the first Avengers thing I'm posting, though thanks to all the movies I have accumulated several plot bunnies for more. This is just a one-shot that came to mind, and the proceeding acronyms just rolled off the tongue. Hope you guys enjoy!
Disclaimer: No, I have no super powers nor do I have any relation to Stan Lee. The Acronyms are mine though
When Steve went to go ask Tony about his new phone, he had no idea that he would walk in on Stark half covered in his new Iron Man prototype suite, and completely covered in what he could identify as the stuff that came out of a fire extinguisher.
He had just wanted to ask why his phone kept ringing when there seemed to be no texts or anything he should check on his phone, now he was watching almost bemused as Tony ranted at Dummy while trying to remove his gauntlet. "I swear I made you with a little more sense. I said this was a test, and yet you shot off the moment you saw the spark! Didn't I say there might be a little-"
Steve cleared his throat loudly to cut off his rant, and would never admit, slightly to save the poor robot. Tony looked up with a scowl preadorned to his face before he even recognized the good captain, and when he did see who it was his mood didn't seem to improve at all. "I told you Steve, if you want to switch from TV to Blue Ray, all you have to do is-"
"No, no Clint actually managed to figure that out this time. Actually, I came down here so I could ask you to look at my phone. Didn't realize I'd have to rescue a poor dame in the process."
Stark blinked spastically for a moment before looking around his lab, perhaps looking for Pepper or someone else. I jabbed my thumb to his feet, where his little robot was still sitting perfectly still, though its nozzle was indeed pointed towards the ground in an unmistakable sign of shame. Steve started to ponder how much human emotion Tony had programmed into those things when the genius himself laughed. "What, Dummy? Please, he's done worse than this. You should have seen the first Iron Man suit, he went off every five seconds." He took pause for a moment to think back, then decided, "On second thought, you are the last person I want to see that."
Stark turned away, walked over to the computer screen and started up immediately doing, something. Steve had no idea what. No matter how accustomed he would get to today's technology, going so far as even accessing the internet by himself, he would never even begin to know what Tony got up to down here. Still, his curiosity piqued, he watched as another robot zoomed over and started cleaning up the mess on the floor, and Tony occasionally removing one hand from the keyboard to wipe away anything that fell into his line of sight. He made no move to go upstairs and clean up, which meant he must be pretty close to a breakthrough on, whatever he was doing.
"Tony, why did you create these robots to help you, then name them something so mean?"
The question seemed to catch Iron Man off guard, his fingers froze in their position, but he did not turn around to face him so he couldn't be sure. "I have no idea what you're talking about." He finally said, the rhythm of his typing picking up once again.
"Oh come on genius, don't be stupid. Why would you name your robots such insulting things like, Dummy, and Butterfingers?"
He thought he heard a chuckle before Stark said in a completely neutral voice. "Nope, still not getting where that came from. Dummy is an acronym, they did have those back in the forties, right?"
"Really?" Steve pondered. "Huh, well what does it stand for?"
Tony seemed to be growing bored with the conversation now as he said in almost a robotic voice, "Durable Utility Mobilized By Engine. D, U, M, B, E."
He took a moment to process that, then frowned. It made sense, just a bit. After all, dummy was a mobilized fire extinguisher. "And You?"
"Are you really going to do this for all of them now?" Tony demanded.
"You got me curious," Steve admitted.
"Fine, but his full name is Hey You, which stands for Helpfully Established Yard Yelling Online Understood."
"That makes no sense," Steve decided, thinking that he was getting his leg pulled.
"Of course it does, if you pay attention. It means if I scream really loud, Hey You will call the paramedics. I could hardly call him the 911 bot, that would have been stupid."
"You invented a robot to call a doctor for you? When you have your own phone you invented yourself?"
"The phones new, and I had a lot of spare time on my hands when I was sixteen."
Feeling as if he would soon regret this, he finished off with, "What about Butterfingers?"
"Actually, his appropriate name is Beautifully Undermined Trigger Refined Fragments In Gears Resources. B, U, T, R, F, I, G, R. It's just if you say it really fast, it sounds like the candy."
"Ookay, explain." I snapped, getting a little impatient. He had to be faking this, he just had to be.
"Well, isn't it obvious? I made that one when I was ten out of spare parts! He's had a couple of upgrades since then of course, but the name kind of stuck."
Steve wavered for a moment, but then let it drop. What could he do about it, they were already named.
The robots, well that said it all. They were robots, it hardly seemed they cared what their creator called them, so why should he? Phone still unchecked but the owner no longer really caring too much. He would ask Bruce, the less insane smart person around here, to help instead. He turned to leave when Tony spoke up one last time. "JARVIS is an acronym to you know."
Fearing the worst, Rogers twisted his head slightly to see Tony's almost shaking shoulders as he gasped, "Judging Attractive Recognizable Voice Identifications System."
It took him quite a while to sort through all those words and catch at their meaning. "Hey, you had to have made that up. JARVIS doesn't just listen to people with 'attractive' voices."
Stark was laughing much to hard to have heard him, and that was all Captain America could handle from there resident billionaire for the day.