Hey all, It's just another dude with a story, this chapter is a prequel to what actually happens in the main story so please bear with me.
Disclaimer: I do not own Nationstates… (ummm… is that all I need to say? I'm kinda new to this)
Falnierv and Katha were nations that I and a friend of mine created on Nationstates, which we don't own. My nation is currently closed down but if you search up Katha on Nationstates you will find his nation and for the most part this fic and his nation match up, but I have a few set stats that he and I agreed on for this fic. Rated M for Intense Violence and (possible) sexual themes later.
February, 23, 2152: carnival; 19:02
I gazed over the smoky city of carnival, Hab-skyscrapers wrecked by artillery shells, a deep green haze hung over the multitude of districts, mounds of corpses, melted by the chemical agent, seeping through the burnt rubble that has seen the detonation of a thousand bombs, and served as cover for both insurgent and solider alike. My head spun, and suddenly; I remember to breath. Even through my thick gas mask protected me from the noxious green hue that blanketed what seemed to be the entirety of the world, I still smelled the burnt flesh, raw blood, the chalky scent of bricks and concrete reduced to dust, blanketing the sky grey, suffocating all who lay beneath it in its grey embrace.
We drove forward, the occasional burst of gunfire reminding my squad and I of our purpose, but I was immersed in my own thought, I remembered the colonel ordering us to retreat. I remembered the bullets whizzing by as we jumped into the helicopter, the flash of the nuke going off etched forever into my eyes as we sailed away, our transport knocked about like a gnat as the war ended. I had thought this would be the last time that I would ever see this city; and the blood red A of anarchy painted everywhere. I had no qualms killing those rebels and anarchists that threatened society, or so I had told my superiors and myself in retrospect. But there was something that ached within me every time I shot my rifle, every time I pulled the pin of a grenade, every time I threw a flare; signaling a black jet, swooping from above like the a sickle of death, dropping its munitions, blowing bodies into the sky, cooking hundreds in their own homes. I stepped out of our vehicle, dusting off my Lt's badge, covered in the dust of a dead city. I trudged with purpose; rifle held in front of me, ready to release a flurry of steel to any bastard insurgent, adrenaline flowed through my vein once more as we cleared the block with unflinching discipline. Propped on a corner, lay a girl, unmoving next to a van that had its paint long stripped by the noxious gas of the chemical bombing. We kept moving forward, Ignoring her whimpers every time she breathed in, inhaling the stagnate air, still lingering with the noxious gas; no doubt dissolving her lungs slowly, burning her skin with each breath, eyes shut desperately; either blinded by the chemical attack or desperately trying to preserve her vision, forcing her delicate eyelids shut, as she wept, as she wept for my sins.
He took another step, now only a few feet away from her slumped figure, stirring up her delirious mind, "Ah," she whimpered, the air burning her throat and mouth as she opened them to speak, exposing the flesh to the toxic chemical gas "Ah, who, as you?" she asked, words slurred as she tried to move. Ereval drew his pistol, drawing back the slide of the gun, chambering a bullet. She whimpered again as he pressed his pistol up against her forehead, "Sorry, and may you find peace," he whispered to her, just softly enough so that that his speaker wouldn't register. He took a deep breath, racked with emotion as he began his short prayer, this wasn't his first time, but once again fate had duped him.
"Lt. Ereval, this is Valdiev. Do not kill the girl, your new orders are to retrieve the girl; she may have some information." The gruff accented voice of the Major ordered unceremoniously. "Yes sir," he stated flatly. His squad was already moving; their orders displayed on their helmet comm links. The darkly dressed men cleared corners, making their way back to their transport as Ereval slid his arms underneath the girl's dark dress, bleached white by the chemical agents. He gripped the girl firmly, wrapping his thick gloved hands around her waist and torso as he plucked her wiry body up from the concrete ground. As he entered the vehicle he propped her on his lap, supporting her limp torso with one, and holding his spare gas mask over her small face, the huge dark mask seeming ridiculous on her. He might even have laughed if she were not clenching his hand until her delicate wiry fingers turned white, her frantic heaving as she desperately gulped the purified air in the mask a testament to her suffering. As they came closer and closer to camp, and further and further away from the battlefield, she seemed to relax; his gruff, stiff embrace devolved until he had pressed her fragile frame up against his chest, gently stroking her dark frayed hair as she breathed softly; having fallen asleep on his lap.
March, 06, 2152: carnival; 9:56
I sat in the bright room, looking down at her childlike face, weary and bruised, but still maintaining a faint glow as the bright sun illuminated her face, a rare break in the dusty polluted sky. Being assigned to babysit a child in a coma wasn't so bad I decided, no, it wasn't bad at all. She seemed like a little angel, roused from the heavens from above.
Then, she awoke, her large dark amber eyes focused on me, wide with apprehension, and perhaps fear, or was it hope? "My name is Ereval, I found you in the city, and brought you back," I began softly, trying not to scare the little girl who lay in front of me. "What is your name?" I asked.
"Natasha," she said raspily, her high pitched voice betraying her age and discomfort.
"Well Natasha, you'll be safe here, this is the forward post of the second grand army of Falnierv," I stated gently, almost whispering as I leaned in, meeting her gaze as I grinned at her.
"Are you the good guys?" She asked again, "Are you my family?" she asked once again, I could see her concentrating, thinking about what could have possibly happened.
"No, I'm not your family, but I can be your friend. Would you like that Natasha?" I offered as I extended a hand to her, my skin was calloused by the years of combat.
"Are you a good guy? Are you a solider, are you a bad guy!?" she asked again, not taking my hand as panic seemed to overtake her, I saw her tremble as I sat there, arm extended, my smile erased by a suddenly dark expression.
We silently sat there, I was trying to think of what to say, she was a rebel. I was shocked. How could anybody so beautiful, so seemingly innocent be manifest to rebellion and treason. I studied her once again, her shoulders pressed against the wall as she glared at me, her eyes; soft and warm a moment ago now searing at me with intensity that would rival that of lasrifle fire. "Yes, I am a solider," I answered as she flinched at the word, "I am a solider, but I am not a bad person, and I'm not going to hurt you," I stated flatly, not knowing how to respond anymore.
"Why do you want to kill us then?" she asked again, eyes wide, adorably so, unfitting of the situation.
"I don't," I stated honestly "I don't," I repeated, to myself as well as to her.
"What's the gun for then? You kill my momma! Why did you take me here! Who are you? Why are you pretending to be nice, you liar!" She screamed; tearing her hair; eyes now focused on some unknown point in space.
I felt a pang of guilt, I was responsible for this wasn't I. After all I would not put it past myself to have inadvertently scarred this little girl. I looked at her again, I wanted to apologize for what I did to her, maybe it wasn't me, maybe it was a bomb, or perhaps one of my subordinates, or any of the hundreds of thousands of the soldiers in the army that robbed her of her world, but if not I then who was to apologize to her, who else would be there for her, who would love her, raise her who else would stand up for her? I reached for her still trembling body as she shied away from my touch. I knew what I had to do; but I stopped, unsure what to do; how to comfort her, what words to say to a girl for who's suffering was my doing. I didn't know, all I knew was that I was sorry. I hugged her again, just as I did when she was in my arms in the way back. Her sobbing and struggling slowly ceased, and I noticed the warm salty drops roll down my cheeks. I looked down; she looked up at me as we locked eyes again.
"I'm sorry," I said again, and again, and again. "I…" she paused, and the world seemed to stop, every moment hanging on her cracked lips.
"I… forgive you," she said with uncertainty, perhaps she understood the weight of those words, perhaps not, but I didn't put it past her intelligent eyes to understand. It was as if I were whole again, every fragment of me lost in all of my wrongs, all of my inhuman acts, suddenly returned to me by that phrase. And at that moment I understood something else, now; I loved her. Perhaps I always have, perhaps all of the love I had thrown away through my service and death-dealing had manifested within her, perhaps I loved her forgiveness, or did I suddenly just recognize my need, my want for love, for my humanity. Maybe it was the same for her as well, but for now, I was content I supposed, as I stroked her dark hair reassuringly once again.
April, 16, 2152: carnival; 12:47
We flew across the ground on the rail system, through the vast plains of Falnierv at just below the speed of sound. I swiveled my head around, to see Natasha; face planted firmly against the large window plane of the rail cart, gazing at the green fields, some of the few last acres of forest and grassland left in the ever expanding Falniervian nation with the enthusiasm and passion that only a child could exhume. I couldn't help but grin at her still small frame poised against the frame of the window in such a childlike manner. The luxury suite was well worth the month's pay. She looked over at me, her ecstatic eyes a moment ago, now rimmed with tears.
"What's wrong Natasha?" I asked with concern, scooching closer to her to better comfort her.
"Will we see this again?" she asked, her lips quivering with some sudden grief.
"What do you mean Natasha?" I asked, intrigued on the source of her grief, so that I could comfort her, to assure to her that everything will be alright, and make it so.
"The sign said sixty one days until construction for hydroponics plants begins, what does that mean?" she asked with worry, looking back between myself and the plains, now dotted with the occasional tree with a concerned look.
I understood her worry, I had seen that sign during transit hundreds of times, but never before had I truly cared. "It means, Natasha, that in sixty one days, people are going to come and build a hydroponics plants here, do you know what those are?" I asked, not wanting to patronize her if she did. She shook her head: no.
"That's where food comes from; the scientists put seeds and; little plants into the houses there they plant them, and then they grow bigger and bigger until we eat them, just like the rice we had last week, and the pears we ate for snack yesterday," I explained as best I could, racking my brain for the scarce knowledge I had concerning agriculture, all I could think of after that was of buying Natasha a starfruit once we got to HQ, no doubt she would find the shape of the first sized fruit intriguing.
"So are they gonna get rid of the grass and trees?" she asked, the worry evident in her face, the pleasure of seeing the plains whizz by, evaporating with each passing moment.
"Natasha," I said, placing my hand on her other shoulder as I brought her closer to me, "Yeah, in sixty one days this plain will be gone. But this isn't the last one alright? I can show you other places, we can move on, don't worry," I urged her softly. It seemed to do little to comfort her though. I had an idea, I pulled my recorder out from my backpack, I'd never used it before now, I had no reason to; I supposed to myself as I pressed the button on the seemingly normal pair of glasses, a green sign displaying 'recording' appeared as I put them on.
"Natasha, look here and smile," I asked her positioning myself so that I could see her entire face against the backdrop of the verdant green plains, mixed with hues of orange tufts and wiry trees. I snapped a picture, and then some more, not wanting to risk waste this opportunity.
"What did you do?" she asked, her somber mood returning as she slumped over defeated, her white blouse covering her back, baring every detail to the empty serenity of the outside world.
"I took a picture," I said simply, holding the glasses on front of her; and swiping back to the frame of her; smiling sadly, the sun glinting off of her skin as the beautiful background flew by; it looked absolutely stunning. "Now we can always see these plains again, even if they do go away, we will always know you were here, and so when you and me start to ever forget this place, we can always look at this picture and remember, so that this place will never truly disappear," I said, a slight smile tugging at my lips as I slowly placed the glasses on her face; her widened as I fixed her hair and adjusted the lenses. "Here Natasha, I don't really have much of a use for these, and this would probably be better used if they were yours," I said, stepping away to see how they looked on her.
She flung herself onto me; I could hear her squealing "thankyouthankyouthankyou" despite having buried her face into my chest. I enjoyed the moment while it lasted, then, un-planting her face from my chest, I told her to go have fun. We spent the rest of the day taking pictures, and touring the various areas in the large city before I checked into my barracks with Natasha, and as I tucked her into bed and wished her good night I realized that today had been the most joyous day of my life, and as I slid under the covers of my bed besides hers, I understood that type of sadness that she felt onboard the train. Perhaps she had felt the same way as I had when I tucked her into bed as well.
April, 17, 2152: carnival; 9:56
I watched Natasha exit the interrogation room, apparently unfazed by the experience that usually left grown men and women gibbering messes. "Are you ok Natasha, what did they do in there?" I asked with concern as I stood up, taking Natasha's small hand as we walked to the command center "He asked me stuff" she replied with a joyful grin.
"Hello, Major Valdiev sir!" I saluted as I walked into my superior's office, Natasha, trying her best to imitate me as I brought my clenched fist to my chest.
"Da, hello Lieutenant, your assignment is now over, it was concluded that she holds no worthwhile information, you have done well, and are now assigned to Krukov pass," He stated.
"What about Natasha sir?" I inquired, looking down at Natasha, clearly following the conversation with worried intensity.
"Dunno, re-education or liquidation, standard procedure really, you know; why don't you take her to the liquidation room at the service center actually," the major answered casually to my anguish.
I stood there, thinking of what would become of my month's companion; her every memory, and even her personality gone, deleted by precise shocks to the neurons of the brain; or possibly led into a gas chamber, frozen, clutching her delicate throat as toxic gasses tore her nervous system asunder, leaving her a cold unresponsive corpse, ready to be repackaged as fertilizer. No I would not accept this. I stroked her long dark hair, head now pressed against my chest; at this development.
"Are there any other options, can she stay with me?" I asked with urgency trying to maintain a professional expression, holding her now trembling figure against myself even more firmly; to affirm that she was still with me, to let her know this would not happen.
"No, personally I don't see how you can get so worked up about some damn orphan anyways, seriously Ereval, I give you a babysitting assignment for a month and you go ahead and make her your very own child. Let me tell you this; boy I did not attain this rank by being a empathizer to rebels," he stated flatly, "Believe me we all want to be heroes, but expending state capital is a crime, especially in these pressing times of rebellions, acid rains eating at our land, droughts, mass starvation; you should understand that."
I nodded, not looking at him as I picked Natasha up, carrying her body, and caressing her as I walked out of his office. We were silent as I walked into the service center, the other men and women waiting at their seats, as a group of injured and dirtied men entered the liquidation chamber, led by a man I recognized as an old friend of mine; he waved. I looked away and made my way to the counter of the table with the large glowing word; 'ADOPTION' hanging over it. I looked into her intelligent amber eyes once again, and asked, "Natasha, do you want a daddy?" I whispered to her. "Uh huh," she nodded; a smile beginning to form on her delicate lips. "Then it's settled," I said, grinning at the prospect as I walked up to the counter, the major's talk fading away with every step we took towards the white marble counter.