Cut
Summary- Quinn moves to New York for college, fully expecting to run into Rachel. However, Rachel isn't really Rachel anymore.
This Story is Rated "M" For:
Sexual Content
Language
Violence
Abuse
Writer's Note- Anyone who has read my other stories knows that I tend to add characters. Those of you who don't know that, just know that the character "Jade Price" is a frequent in my stories, and she is in this one. Also, to those of you who are reading my other story "You're A Firework"...don't panic because I haven't given up on it. I will finish it :) Anyways...on that note...please enjoy this new story. And if you don't mind, please review.
Quinn Fabray sat in the empty living room of her new apartment. She was tired, but it was in one of the best ways possible. It had been a long day of packing and unpacking. Moving and lifting. At the moment she was enjoying the calm, cool, fall breeze drifting across the room from the open window. The noises of a busy New York City below. She closed her eyes, and sighed, contently. The passed year of her life had been nothing but confusion, drama, and having to make some pretty difficult choices. After graduating from Lima High, she hadn't really known what it was she wanted to do with her life. It took her almost an entire year to figure it all out. Sure, she was heart set on settling down with Finn Hudson, and having some sort of career in her hometown. But, somewhere along the line, she had changed her mind. And then she had changed it again.
And, again.
And, again, just one more time, before she had decided to move the Hell away from Lima. Away from her parents, away from some of the worst memories she would ever have. She looked around her new place, with a mile wide smile spread across her lips. It was a really nice apartment, in a very nice part of the city. Nice and close to Washington Square where New York University was located. She loved the apartment, but she wasn't proud of how she got her father to pay for it. That was something that would haunt her conscious for a very long time. Her personal thoughts were interrupted by a pounding on the door. She sighed, stood up and strolled slowly towards the door. The pounding continued, only it was getting louder.
"Oh my God, hold on...", she breathed out.
She opened the door, to a very annoyed, and tired looking Santana Lopez. She was carrying a really big box, and pushed passed Quinn the minute the door had opened.
"Okay, for real Q...I don't think you could have gotten to the door any slower if you tried."
"Relax, would you", laughed Quinn.
"Relax? Screw you, that shit is heavy as a mother fucker. It's whatever though, it was my last box."
"I told you to wait for the movers to get back, but no...Miss Lopez just had to carry all her things by herself", teased Quinn.
"Um, the movers are complete morons. They left the truck wide open before they left for their lunch break. If they can't even remember to lock the damn truck before leaving it, there isn't a chance in Hell I was trusting them to carry my shit", said Santana. Quinn giggled, and shook her head.
"Did you lock it before you were finished?"
"Of corse I did Q, I'm clearly not as slow as the dumbfuck movers. That's another reason I'm glad we aren't dorming, I don't want some lame ass college clepto breaking into my room, and stealing things from me. So not an option."
"Well, it's fine. My Dad knows this is a two bedroom, but he also thinks I'm using the other bedroom as an office. He'll never know you're here."
"Good, than he'll never know I'm not paying rent either", laughed Santana
"Mhm, but you are buying food, and doing most of the cleaning."
"Shut up, I know", snapped Santana.
Later that evening, most of their things were unpacked, however not put away. There was random stuff spread about the apartment, and the two girls were sitting on the floor, eating Chinese food.
"Your room is so much bigger than mine, it's bullshit", said Santana, with a mouth full of food. Quinn laughed."I knew you were gonna' say something about that. It was just a matter of time."
"Whatever. I talked to Lauren earlier today, got the scoop on where to grab fake ID's. Only thing is, it takes a couple weeks for this dude to get them to you. So, I did some research, found a place that lets college students...even the under age ones...drink."
"How is that even possible", asked Quinn.
"I don't know, but I don't care. Why ask questions when I can get drunk", she laughed.
"Well...it is Friday...", said Quinn, thoughtfully.
"Yeah, and classes don't start until Monday. So, finish your damn food Tubbers, because we're going out. Be ready in an hour", said Santana, as she stood up.
"I will be, and you can't call me that anymore, I'm not pregnant...".
"Oh uh-uh, to me you is always gonna' be Tubbers", said Santana, in that oh so special way she spoke at times. She jogged off towards her bedroom.
An hour later, they were walking down the street, headed to an off campus hang out called, Smashed.
"This is so weird", said Santana, as she glanced around the busy streets.
"What is?"
"Well, when we'd come here for Glee, with Shuster...I didn't feel like this. I was excited, don't get me wrong. But, this is a whole new kind of excitement"
"That stands to reason S, we're not in high school anymore. We're on our own, life is all about us, and we're in control. Do you see Mr. Shuster anywhere", asked Quinn. Santana just laughed.
"So, how pissed was your Dad when he found out you weren't going to Med school", asked Quinn.
"About as pissed as he was when he found out that, I like girls."
"Oh, okay so pretty pissed then", laughed Quinn.
"You knows it, but he'll get over it, I mean he didn't exactly hate that I chose to study law either. Being a lawyer doesn't seem like such a horrible thing."
"Please, you just wanna' yell at people, and scare them into tears on the witness stand", laughed Quinn.
"Oh Hell yeah, that's gonna' be so much fun!"
They both laughed, and chatted until they came to the entrance of the bar. There was a tall, rather heavy man sitting on a stool outside.
"Ladies, do you have ID", he asked, politely.
"Um...not at the moment, no", said Santana.
"I see. Well, how old are you", he asked, with a smirk on his face. Neither of them said a word, they just looked at each other, and then back at him.
"I'm sorry, I didn't quite make out what you said. Did you say you were twenty-one", he asked, clearing his throat, and winking at them.
"Mhm, that's exactly what we said", said Quinn.
"I thought so. You may go in", he said.
Once inside, they knew the place was popular. There were people everywhere, drinking, dancing, and of cores, some making drunk asses of themselves. There was a band playing on a stage in towards the back of the bar, and some people dancing and jumping up and down.
"Wow, I like it here already", said Santana. They walked to the bar, and found two empty stools.
"What are you getting to drink, ya' big lush", asked Quinn, jokingly.
"Anything, long as it doesn't have crushed Oreos and cold medicine in it."
"Oh, sick...", giggled Quinn.
"Remember? God, I could have fucking killed Berry for making us drink that shit", said Santana.
"Well, I think she paid for it. She was the one who got puked on by Brit, after all."
The bartender bounced over to them, but she was glancing down, and texting on her cellphone.
"Hello, welcome to Smashed, what can I get fo- no fucking way", she said looking up.
"Jade Price, is that you", asked Quinn.
"Um...holy balls, am I really seeing you two right now? Maybe I should stop drinking on the job...", Jade mumbled.
"Well if it isn't Lima's own Oreo in human form. Long time no see, Emo Screamo", laughed Santana.
Jade Price was an Oreo all right. She was African American, but she sure as Hell didn't act like it. Most people at McKinley high joked that she was a white Emo girl stuck inside of a black person. So such nicknames as Oreo, and Emo Screamo were what she heard from her fellow students on a daily basis.
"Okay, if you two have slushies hidden somewhere, just tell me now so I can go grab a raincoat", she joked.
"Slushy free, we promise. What are you doing here", asked Quinn.
"Uh...working. My parents own this place."
"Oh my God, you just made my night. We now have what is called an inside connection", said Santana. Jade just smiled nervously."How can you even work in a bar, you're our age, you were in our grade", stated Quinn.
"Well, when your parents own places, it's easier to get away with certain things", laughed Jade."I don't think you guys ever met him, but my brother Jonah works here too...he's the DJ. Him and...Noah Puckerman."
"Oh Jesus, Baby Daddy moved here too? That's just fantastic. I didn't know you had siblings", stated Santana. She clearly didn't want to talk about Puck.
"Uh, yeah. Two older brothers, and an older sister", the darker girl answered.
"Wait, I've met your brother Jonah at church. Your other brother is...Micheal, right", asked Quinn.
"Close. It's Mika, and my sister's name is Nessa...hold on sec, I'll be right back", said Jade, and she bounced down the bar to tend to another thirsty customer.
"Okay, holy blast from the past", said Quinn.
"Didn't she drop out like, half way through Senior year", asked Santana.
"Yeah, then she vanished into thin air. I guess we now know where she went", said Quinn. "Actually, I think she dropped out around the same time Puck was expelled. So, obviously the fact that he works here isn't a random thing."
"She was like, band chick, right? Played guitar, parents are loaded, had that huge house like fifteen minutes from school?"
"Yeah, that's her."
"Holy crap, she threw some pretty epic parties when her family was out of town. Remember the time Finn showed up to school with the tattoo that said Finnessa on his arm", asked Santana. Quinn laughed, and nodded.
"Yeah, that was at one of her parties, he passed out, and somebody tattooed him."
"Who would do that", laughed Quinn.
"I don't remember who did it, but it's his own damn fault for passing out at a giant house party. And who the fuck doesn't wake up when they have a needle poking them in the arm", snapped Santana.
Jade soon came back, and smiled shyly at the two of them.
"So, you gonna' take our drink order, or what", asked Santana.
"Oh! Yeah! Yeah, sorry...what did you want", asked Jade. Santana couldn't help but smile, Jade was adorably slow.
"Um, surprise us. Whatever you think we'd wanna' drink", said Quinn.
"I have just the thing...hang on", she said, turning around towards the shelves. Santana quickly glanced at Jade's butt, smirked, and then looked up. Quinn noticed, and slapped her on the arm.
"What", laughed Santana.
"You know what, pervert."
Minutes later, Jade had placed two glasses in front of them.
"What is it", asked Santana, looking at the bright red liquid.
"Drink first ask questions later. And just so you know, I chose something red just for you guys. Cheerios are used to that color after all", she laughed.
The two girls giggled, and sipped their drinks.
"Oh my God", said Santana, before she chugged the entire drink."I want another one, gimmie...".
"This is really good, what is it", asked Quinn, taking another sip.
"I can't tell you, it's a secret but since you like it so much, and since we're old...aquatints...your tab is on me tonight. You're welcome", said Jade.
"Oh you don't have to do that, Jade", said Quinn.
"She knows that Quinn, but she wants to so shut up and let her...", said Santana.
Jade smiled, and turned around to make the Latina another drink.
The girls spent the next hour drinking, and chatting on and off with Jade. Pretty soon it was a little after eleven o'clock."So...it's really weird that you showed up here, Quinn. I just had a conversation about you with somebody the other day."
"Oh, really", asked Quinn.
"Yeah. But, I only bring that up...because there is a one hundred percent chance that you're gonna' see somebody here tonight. I'm not sure if you really care or not, but this person isn't...the same anymore. Just, wanted to warn you."
Quinn and Santana exchanged looks of confusion. Before Jade could continue, a very loud, very familiar voice rang threw the air like a fire siren.
"Well, well, well, Hello regulars."
Most of the people in the place started cheering right away.
"No. Fucking. Way", said Santana, without even turning to look at the stage. Quinn on the other hand, spun around immediately, and there she was. Rachel Berry. Standing on the stage, in front of the microphone.
"Been a very long day guys, so I'm about to sing my heart out. I guess it's a good thing you guys are used to that, huh", she joked. Some people cheered and laughed. Rachel smiled a little, and picked up a full shot glass, that was sitting on a stool behind her. She lifted it towards the crowd.
"Cheers everybody, now let's get smashed", she said, before taking the shot. People cheered, and music started to play. Quinn looked right at Jade, who was already looking at her.
"Like I said...tab is on me tonight", said Jade.
"I want everybody to do me a favor", Rachel continued, into the microphone."Say thank you to your favorite bar tender, because she's the reason why you're all able to reach such a high level of inebriation every time you come here."
"Thank you Jade!"
"You're welcome! Now shut up, and listen to my Rea Rea sing", Jade yelled, laughing a little.
As the music started, the crowd calmed down. Quinn stared up at Rachel, secretly wishing she would notice, but she didn't. Jade wasn't joking when she said Rachel wasn't the same. She looked tired, and it was obvious that her plaid skirts, and argyle sweaters were a thing of the past. She had on more make up than Quinn had ever seen the girl wear in her life. Not too much, but a lot for Rachel Berry. When she started to sing, Quinn smiled just a little bit. At least her voice is still there.
Rachel-
I'm not a stranger,
No I am yours.
With crippled anger,
And tears that still drip sore.
A fragile frame aged,
With Misery.
And when our eyes meet,
I know you see.
I do not wanna be afraid.
I do not wanna die inside just to breathe in,
I'm tired of feeling so numb.
Relief exists I find it when,
I am cut.
From the very second Rachel had started to sing, she had Quinn's attention, without even knowing it. Quinn could sense a sadness in her voice. A sad, desperation that a person could only hear if they were truly listening, or knew the person.
I may seem crazy,
or painfully shy.
And these scars wouldn't be so hidden if you would just look me in the eye.
I feel alone here and cold here,
No I don't wanna die.
But the only anesthetic that makes me feel anything,
Kills inside.
I do not wanna be afraid.
I do not wanna die inside just to breathe in,
I'm tired of feeling so numb.
Relief exists I find it when ,
I am cut.
When Rachel hit the long note, her voice seemed to travel for miles. It didn't matter how sad the song was, Quinn could help but smile when she heard Rachel hit the note. Not that she had ever admitted it out loud, but she loved the tiny girl's voice, and had missed it, a lot. She glanced over at Jade, who was watching the tiny girl just as intently as was. Only, she had tears in her eyes.
I am not alone
I am not alone
I'm not a stranger,
No I am yours.
With crippled anger,
And tears that still drip sore.
I do not wanna be afraid.
I do not wanna die inside just to breathe in,
I'm tired of feeling so numb.
Relief exists I find it when,
I was cut.
By the time the song finished, Rachel had a few tears rolling down her cheeks. As did Quinn, and she had no idea why. However, when everyone started cheering and clapping, she joined them. Even Santana had to stand up and clap, Rachel had sung the Hell out of that song, and Santana was proud of her former club member. A few minutes later, Rachel had disappeared, and Quinn was looking down into her drink, playing with the tiny red straw that sat inside of her glass.
"I need to pee. I guess Berry has that effect on people now...Jade...bathroom, where's it at", asked Santana. Jade pointed to towards the bathrooms."Thanks", said Santana, and she stood up, and walked away. Jade looked at Quinn, she could tell how confused she was.
"Hey...", she said, rubbing her arm.
"What was that about", asked Quinn, without looking up.
"I knew it, see that's why I wanted to warn you. I get it, I understand the all the drama between you and her. No, I wasn't in Glee Club, and I wasn't really great friends with most of you. However, I did spend enough time around some of you to see what was really going on between you and her", said Jade.
"What do you mean", asked Quinn, still not looking up.
"Quinn, you care about Rachel. I know you do, and I know you have for a while. She's pretty much given up on herself...and I'm there for her, but I'm starting to think I'm not enough", said Jade. That was when Quinn finally looked up, and put all attention on Jade.
"Given up on herself?"
"Yeah", answered Jade, sadly.
"Okay, well...why are you telling me all of this?"
Before Jade could say anything else, Rachel had approached the bar.
"Swedish Fish Shot, please", she said. "I could so tell the shot I did on stage wasn't one of yours, by the way."
"I know, love. I'm sorry, I'll make you a better one right now", said Jade, and she turned around.
Rachel was standing right next to Quinn, their shoulders were just about touching, but the shorter girl still hadn't even noticed.
"Rachel...", said Quinn, softly. Finally, the little diva glanced at her.
"Quinn?"
"Um...how are you", asked Quinn, awkwardly. Rachel just gave her a weird look, and shook her head.
"Well, I'm not really sure why the fuck you would care, but I'm fine. Thank you for asking."
Did Rachel Berry just use the word fuck?
"I was just asking. It's been a while, ya' know? You were lucky, you graduated a year early...", said Quinn. Jade turned back around, and put a full shot glass in front of Rachel.
"Yeah, well...cheers to early graduation. As for luck, well...that doesn't really exist in my world", said Rachel, as she took the shot, and casually walked away. Jade just made a sad face, and shook her head.
"What the Hell happened to her", asked Quinn, in shock.
"Life", said Jade, as she absentmindedly watched Rachel.
"No, really. What happened?"
Jade looked at Quinn, and gave her a sympathetic smile.
"A lot of things, Quinn. Things that she didn't deserve."
"Yeah, but she's just so...bitter", said Quinn, still in shock about the language the tiny girl had used.
"Think about how big her dreams were, how bad she wanted them. You noticed...the twinkle in her eyes is gone now, right?"
Quinn just nodded.
"Yeah, it's one of the very first things I noticed when I found her. And, you know something, I'm afraid that twinkle, is never coming back."
The song Rachel sang was "Cut By: Plumb. An amazing song. Please don't forget to let me know what you thought :)