A/N: This is basically Sweets Time, except the lyrics actually mean what they're saying. I mean, I love the original, but there's a happy version of Alice of Human Sacrifice and Daughter of Evil, so why not Sweets Time? ;)

I got the translation from the Touhou wiki. I'm kinda new to Touhou, so I might have gotten some things wrong... Sakuya DOES take care of Flandre, right...?

(scream)

Sakuya was happily doing the laundry, unaware of the large spider right behind her.

Her shout when she turned around could be heard all the way across Gensokyo, since, unknown to most people, Sakuya has terrible fear of spiders.

Apples and honey.

The jam in the tea is apricot.

"Stupid Marisa," Reimu complained. "Steal whatever you want from Patchy's library or any of Alice's precious things, but WHY DID YOU HAVE TO THROW APPLE JUICE AND HONEY AT MY HEAD? This is going to take an hour to wash out of my hair…"

I threw the silver teaspoon

Against the wall.

"Flandre, would you please stop doing this to the silverware? That's the sixteenth spoon you've destroyed this week! And try to avoid explosions when throwing things at walls!" Sakuya scolded, waving the blackened, bent teaspoon as Flandre innocently stood by the large black hole in the dungeon wall.

Hurry up, let's play.

Dolls never say anything

They just try to sing

The one song they know.

"Alice, you're a genius!" Marisa exclaimed as the dolls her friend was showing her began to sing.

"Yes. I am. Their names are Shanghai and Hourai. If you even try to touch them, I will take that ugly broom of yours and turn it to shreds."

The little bluebird

Escapes from its basket

Reimu cursed and frantically began to wipe the bird poop off her already-dirty hair. "Stupid bluebird… I'LL SHOW YOU!"

Gets beaten in the rain (=danmaku) and

Its wings are cleanly torn off

"Aw, it lost its wings! Dammit, I'm sorry… I'll take you home to the temple and heal you… HEY! YOU POOPED ON MY HAND!"

Come on, I'll sing with you

Teach me a new song

Nobody sings with me

Nobody answers me

"Sakuya-san, I'm tired of this song… Teach me another one!"

"But I just taught it to you five minutes ago!"

I'll give you a piece

Of sweet, melting chocolate

Wasn't it delicious?

Come, let's sing again

"MARISA! GIVE ME BACK MY CHOCOLATE!"

"Sorry, Alice, it's mine now~!" Marisa sang as she flew away on her broom.

Apples and honey.

If I mix their red and gold

Will it turn black,

The same color as the sky?

Sakuya spent many hours trying to explain to Flandre that red and gold did not make black. Silly maid, she never knew that vampires see colors differently from humans…

Hurry up, let's play.

The dolls still say nothing today.

I'll sprinkle some honey

On that red dress.

"Flandre! That was your best dress and you just ruined it! Your sister's not going to be happy..." Just as Sakuya says this, Remilia appears next to her.

"Oh, Flan-chan, you remind me of myself at your age..."

"But mistress-"

"Do you have a problem with young vampires?"

I'll shut you up alone again

In a castle built of toy blocks.

"Flandre, you don't have any toy blocks."

"I know, but it rhymes in Japanese!"

Come on, I want you to sing.

Let me hear you sing.

"No, I don't like singing!"

"But Sakuya-san, you have such a pretty voice!"

Here is some new tea

This time with orange marmalade.

"Hey, Flan-chan! I came to visit you!"

"Oh, hi Marisa… Can you play with me? I'm bored…"

I threw the silver teaspoon

Against the wall.

"Flan-chan, this is a fun game, but could is there any way you could stop those teaspoons from exploding?"

"Please don't tell Sakuya-san... She'll get mad at me..."

A/N: Ugh. It sucks. :P Better than some other stuff I've written though.