I'd like to welcome you to "Shepherd Down." The first new story in forever. I am posting this while I am on break from "the Will of Fire." I needed to write something, anything, that wasn't related to Naruto. If you are following that story, please no I will get back to work as soon as possible. Thank you.
Before I get started I wanted to quickly mention the concept. I came up with this idea towards the end of ME2. As you are all well aware you can die at the end of that game. I didn't die and I continued on to ME3, but it got me to thinking: what would happen if Shepard had died at the beginning of ME2? How would the world change? No, that is not the story that I am telling here. That story is far too broad and long for me to comfortably complete within a relative short period of time. So I decided to shelve it. However, as I got to Mass Effect three's ending I had an idea: Can I fix the ending? I thought it was interesting enough to try!
So, I merged the two ideas. I took the original ending as I received it and modified it. I created a story where Shepard fell in battle at the end of the game. Then I wrote about how that affect the people around her. Of course, this is more than an ending. It is a full fledged fanfic about death, life, and everything in between. What do you do when you finally beat the Reapers? How does your life spin out of control? What do you do next when things will never be the same again? That's what this fanfic will explore. Enjoy!
SHEPARD DOWN
Chapter 1
The life of a solider is hard, frustrating and short. Jane Shepard knew all of that. Yet, she chose to enlist all those years ago. She held no illusions of grandeur. She had no need to make a name. All she wanted to do was help the weak and helpless. To save lives. Being famous was not part of the bargain. She wanted none of that. Ironically, she received more fame and grandeur than she ever could imagine. She was a living legend: Commander Jane Shepard of the Alliance Military, the first human Spectre in recorded history. She was powerful, wise, and beautiful. She knew all the right things to say and when it say it. Which was totally not her.
She was just an ordinary girl who happened to survive against the odds. Sure, she was a girl with a big gun. Even that wasn't that special. A lot of people had big guns. They might even have better aim. She honestly didn't understand people thought so highly of her. She hadn't saved Earth from the Reapers. She failed at Thessia. Now she was going to fail again. She didn't know why they put so much faith in her.
Their desperate plan to kick the Reapers from Earth was failing. Their mad-dash towards the beam had failed. Most were already dead or dying. Jane was no different. Her armor had protected her just enough to keep her alive. Nothing more. That was not enough. Her world was now filled with pain and agony. Each step was a miracle, a victory. Yet, it was not enough. It was never enough. She knew that it was stupid to press on like this. She had no chance of success. Yet she couldn't stop. Not now. She had to keep trying.
As she moved forward she tried to ignore the pain. Sadly, that was proving to be increasingly difficult. She needed to be in a hospital. Not dragging herself across a battlefield. Not that anyone would get to her in time. She knew that. She could feel herself slowly slipping. She was bleeding to much to make it for very long. Not that it mattered. She had a job to do. She couldn't die just yet. She had to press on. She had to make it!
In the distance a solider crawled towards her, begging for help. Only she could do nothing to help him. Nor could she help her beloved. Kaidan lay on the ground, motionless. She figured that he was dead. She could just feel it. There was nothing that she could for him. He was gone. She didn't even need to check for a pulse. She just knew. No one could survive this. She didn't even know how she survived it. How could Kaidan? Loss would destroy her if she allowed it in. She tried to push it aside. She had to keep going. Make his death worth something. She had to make it. Then she could deal with the pain. Right now things weren't looking too good. There was a good chance that she would see him again soon. She just couldn't see him too soon. She still had a job to do.
Husks ran towards her. They seemed to be moving in slow motion. Suddenly, the pain was gone and she found strength to raise her gun. It was as if she was using her adrenaline rush. Which was stupid. She hadn't done it. She was in no condition to use it. Nope, this was completely natural and fucked up. She shouldn't be able to move right now let alone fight! Yet, she was able to do both. How she did not know. Nor did she care. She had a job to do. People to save. She could worry about how later. She just had to keep going.
Somehow, she managed to make it to the beam and to the citadel. She managed to pull herself back up and make it to . . . Where exactly? She didn't remember this place at all. It was nothing like the citadel that she knew and barely tolerated. It reminded her more of the Illusive Man's hideout than the seat of power of all known space. What the hell is going on here?
That's when she saw him. No, that's not the right word for it. She felt him approach long before she could see him: The Illusive Man was here with her. He was controlling her body. There was nothing that Jane could do about it. He had truly lost himself to the Reapers. There was no saving him now. Not that she cared. He was the enemy. He was working with the ones who killed billions! Killed Kaidan. Kaidan . . . She didn't care about him or his crazy plans. She just wanted to finish the job and break the cycle. The task that she had been given over two years ago. Her people had to survive. Even if that meant killing this pathetic fool to do it. Jane would do it in a heart beat. It was her job, her duty. She could not let the universe down! She had to save them!
She waited for her chance to take the shot. Surely, she could distract him enough to release some of his hold on her. Then she could kill him. Get the job finished then die in peace. Because she was dying. There was no stopping that now. She could see that clearly as day. Commander Jane Shepard was about to die. Nothing that anyone could do would change that. Her time had come. Soon she could rest. She just needed to keep pushing a little farther. She needed to patient and not give up.
The idiot ranted just as she expected him to. Control the Reapers? Surely, he wasn't serious! That was impossible. The Protheans had proven that. He was going to get them all killed. Only he was too far gone to see it. He couldn't see that this was what they wanted him to think. That he was no longer in control of his own mind. He was indoctrinated. He was their puppet!
Finally, he went over the edge. He pushed Anderson to ground then pointed his gun at him. He was going to kill her former commanding officer and make her watch. That way she understood how much control her had over her. Only that actions proved how little control he really had. He shouldn't need to torture her to get him to do what he wants. He should just get on with it. Just kill them. That shouldn't require a gun. He should be able to kill them with his mind. He couldn't. That's why he turned to the gun. The man's control was slipping. She had her chance! She could end him. She took the shot.
Jane was in control of herself once again. She could now complete her mission. She managed to drag her way over to the console and open the arms of the Citadel. Her job was done. The Crucible could now function. She could stop a moment and breathe. Of course, that brought the pain to the forefront. It was impossible to block out. It was even harder to move. Hell, she could barely stay conscious as she made her way to Anderson. Things were not looking good for Jane. She may have won the war, but her life was ebbing away.
Jane slumped down beside her old commanding officer. They sat there and watched the final moments of the battle play out before them. The Reapers were dying. The war was over. The organics had won. Earth was safe, for now. There would be other threats, but the Earth was safe for now. They could finally rest.
As they sat there Jane thought of all whom she had lost. Thane, Ashley, Tali, and even Jack. She didn't even like the woman. Yet, she missed her. She missed them all very badly. This is for you. She thought as the battle ended. She thought about all those who died down there on Earth. Who were still dying down there. You can rest in peace now. The universe is safe. Finally, she thought about Kaidan. She knew that she had promised to being waiting for him. That wasn't going to be happening now. Kaidan was dead and she was alone. She wanted to be with him, but that was impossible. At least in this life that was. Maybe soon she would be joining him. Kaidan . . .
All Jane could do was hope that her sacrifice would make everything right. Hopefully, her friends would forgive her for being so weak. Forgive her for not living to see another day. Forgive her for giving up. It was just that she was so tired. She could barely keep her eyes open anymore. If Kaidan was alive he would be screaming at her. Telling her to get up. Ordering her to live! Alas, he wasn't here. Nor would he ever be. Everything was ending. It was time to rest. She was going to die right here, right now, on the citadel. There was nothing that she could do about it.
At least she was not alone. Anderson was by her side. He was in just as tough shape as she was. Perhaps, in even worse shape. Hell, he was dying too. She saw his wounds. They were mortal. Jane was going to lose him. There was nothing that she could do about it. He didn't have this artificial body to prop him up. He needed medical attention even more than she did. Alas, she no longer had the ability to call for help. Her suit was in tatters and her condition was unraveling fast. It was getting hard just to breathe. She could no longer get to her feet. Even if she could do that there was no way that help would make it in time. Anderson was slipping fast. It would all be over soon.
Jane turned her attention back to her condition. It was bad. Real bad. She wondered how she had managed to keep moving for so long. Was it because of her implants? Was it some other reason? She didn't really know. Maybe it didn't matter. For it was all coming to end. The battle was over. She was dying. There was nothing that she could do to change that. Just wait for the inevitable.
She managed to stay awake long enough to say her goodbyes to the Admiral. They talked about Earth, families, and regrets. It seemed that Admiral's biggest regret was that he had no family. No children of his own or a wife that was waiting for him. Neither did she. The only man that she ever loved was gone. With him went the chance to have a family. To be fair, Jane doubted that she would be a good mother. She just made too many mistakes. Anderson disagreed. He told her that he was certain that her and Alenko would make fine parents. That caught her off guard. She didn't think he knew about them. They had done their best to hide the relationship. That way they would not be court martialed. They thought that they had been successful. Clearly, they were wrong. It was merely that the Admiralty was ignoring it. That's all. Should have known. Oh well, doesn't matter now. Now does it? She watched the Admiral die a moment later. She never got to ask him more about it. He was gone and soon she would be too.
It didn't take a medic to tell her how bad it was. She knew. She knew all too well. Jane could feel it. She was dying. She could do no more. Her story was over. Her legend was complete. The intrepid Commander Shepard was about to leave this life. Her mortal body was breaking down. Yet, her legend would live on. It would be told for ages. The first Human Spectre in all of existence. The one who killed the Reapers. The woman who had saved the universe. She would never be forgotten. The hero known as Commander Shepard could never die. For the universe would never let it happen.
Alas, Jane was not so lucky. She was mortal. She could die. She was dying. All she needed to do to confirm that was look at her hands. They were covered in her own blood. The end was nigh. Soon the blackness would take her. Then her story would end. Her friends would move on. They would find hope again and she would be forgotten. Only the legend would remain. The woman who loved, lost, then loved again would be gone. There was nothing that she or anyone else could do about it. Her end was here. Kaidan, I'm coming to see you. She thought as the blackness finally took her.
Shepard was down. Her story was finally over. The universe would morn.
OK, that is the end of chapter 1. Shepard is now officially down. What will happen next? Go ahead and check out the next chapter!