Author's Note: Trunks, Goten, Marron, Bra, Uub and Pan are all living off one another in the heart of West City. This parody follows the gang through massive mayhem, family trouble, past and future romances, fights, laughter, tears, and surprises in all shapes and sizes as they learn what it really means to be friends. If you figure out the parody, you get a cookie.

*Happy Reading!*

-short pants

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"There is nothing to report guys… He's just a coworker!" explained Marron. She sipped her latte as she chatted with her friends. They were posted at Yajirobe's Coffee Shop just a West City block away from her first ever apartment in the big city. It had been a long time coming for her – she had been saving every cent since high school just to be able to move out of that small house on that tinier island. Trunks smirked at her comment while Uub nudged her.

"Come on Marron," teased Uub. "You are actually going out with a guy. He has got to be defective or something. Mistaken maybe!" She playfully slapped his arm. Uub stuffed half a bagel in his mouth and grinned. To be honest, Marron could not have survived the last three plus years in this city without them.

"Be nice."

"Yeah Uubu, be nice," Trunks finally spoke up. He turned to Marron with a gleam in his eye. "What is it though – does he smell? Does he smell AND have bad hygiene?"

"Relax guys – it's for sure not a date. We are just going to see a movie and may grab a bite to eat – and definitely not having sex," Marron laughed at her two friends. They just love giving her a hard time about anything they can these days. Trunks smirked at them from across the table. He leaned over, winked at Marron and said to Uub,

"Well, it definitely sounds like a date to me." Uubu laughed as Marron shook her head.

"I need another cup if I have to handle both of you this morning." She got up and walked over to order from Yajirobe.

"Bring me a cookie!" Trunks ordered as he began typing away on his laptop. Marron waved in his general direction acknowledging his request. Yajirobe grumbled as he handed Marron her order.

"Say hi to your dad for me," Yajirobe told her. She smiled at him and turned to walk back to her friends. Marron noticed a familiar face that walked through the door.

"Goten!" Marron called to her friend. He looked at her glumly and followed her to the booth she was sharing with the others.

"…Hey." Goten mumbled as sat down next to Trunks and across from Marron. He put his head in his hands and sighed deeply.

"Did it just get sadder in here or was that just me?" Uub chided. Marron nudged him softly.

"What's wrong Goten?" Marron asked, concerned for her friend. Goten looked up at her with his sad eyes.

"It feels like someone used a rolling thunder punch on me ten times today," Goten said. "I don't want to deal with her anymore!"

"Cookie?" Trunks offered. Goten didn't even budge, which was very unlikely for him - especially when there is a cookie on the line. Marron glared at Trunks and pushed her coffee Goten's way. He graciously accepted it and then returned to sulking.

"Valese moved out of their apartment today," Marron explained to Uub. "Don't worry Goten, you'll be moved out of there soon enough too."

"Sorry about that man," said Uub. Goten nodded in his general direction.

"Thanks guys - I'll be fine," he promised. "Really, I hope she's happy." Marron rolled her eyes.

"No you don't Goten," she replied.

"You're right Marron, I don't!" Goten raised his voice and slammed his fist on their table. Trunks looked up from his computer.

"To hell with her!" he said to Goten. "She left you – don't put that on yourself."

"I told my mom and dad last night – they weren't too surprised to find out she was cheating either - they were surprised to find out she left me for Tien of all people," Goten explained. "I mean, how the hell was I supposed to know anyway? She is beautiful, she was really into me for some time… I can't figure out what happened!"

"Alright Goten," Uub interrupted. "I know that you are feeling a lot of pain currently. You are pissed but you are still hurting. Can I tell you what the answer is?" He sent Trunks a mischievous look.

"Party time!" Trunks and Uub said in unison. Marron laughed at the two men.

"Come on, Goten, it'll be fun!" Marron urged. Goten sighed and shoved Trunks' cookie in his mouth.

"Let's rage bud! You're single! Let's see those hormones!" Trunks laughed.

"You guys just don't get it. I thought she was the one – hell Marron and I were talking about going to pick a ring out in a few months. We had a great place together and now –"

"TRUNKS!" a female voice burst into the coffee shop. Trunks' glasses slid down to the tip of his nose as a young blue haired woman sprinted excitedly up to their booth. He groaned as she approached. "You are here! Oh my gosh! This secretary really gets you big brother – she knew exactly where you were. And Marron is here?" Bra squealed as Marron got up to hug her.

"Can I get her some coffee too Marron?" Yajirobe asked. Marron pointed at Bra and mouthed de-caff please to him.

"What can I do for you little sister?" Trunks questioned. Bra grinned at him as she scooted into the booth next to Marron. Goten waved a small wave to her and returned to putting his head in his hands.

"So – mom's mad. But I made dad laugh! So that was interesting." Trunks' eyes grew wide. Bra nervously giggled.

"What did you do now Bra?" Trunks groaned.

"Well, I was sitting in mom's office trying to help her with some of her book keeping. You know, family business." Bra began. "As I entered in some financial stuff, that really makes zero sense to me... The more and more I entered the data in, the more I realized that I need to do something more with my life!" Yajirobe brought Bra's beverage out to her. She bowed her head and accepted the cup. "I am sick and tired of being shadowed by mom, Capsule Corp, everything! I told her I didn't want any more to do with her company. I need to branch off on my own – maybe become an actress or an interior designer or something… Anything! The possibilities are endless!" The four other adults in the booth snickered. Bra was completely clueless. "What?" She looked at them all curiously. "Was it something I said?"

"I think you have a phone call to make Bra," Trunks replied. Bra frowned.

"I know. Trunks, can I call Mom from your place?"

"I have to be on my way, actually. Big meeting with a potential client later this afternoon." Trunks explained. He shut his laptop and shooed Goten out from the booth. "I want no part of this anyway. Good luck, dear sister." He kissed the top of her head, handed Yajirobe a bill and waved to his friends as he practically flew out the door. Bra sighed and placed her head on her hands, mimicking Goten. Marron placed a friendly hand on her shoulder.

"My apartment is just down the block, Bra. You can call her from there."

"Thank you Marron!" Bra sobbed as she over dramatically hugged her from where they sat.

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Goten, Uub and Marron all lounged on her couches that surrounded the television in her living room. They were lumpy, but very well kept and quite comfortable really. Nothing matched in her apartment – she had to put it together with what she could afford but it definitely wasn't lacking in style. When Uub first visited, he already lived in the apartment across the hallway. Uub coined it "effortlessly hipster Chic and classy." Marron thought she liked that but still wasn't sure.

"Mommy, I just can't do it anymore! I'm sorry – it makes me feel like a mindless drone!" Bra pleaded with her mom on Marron's iPhone. Marron glanced her way, but thought it best to stay out of it, as Trunks did. She turned her attention to her television – Goten put it on the African Safari special.

"That zebra has no idea poor thing," she shook her head as she watched a lion prowl towards it.

"Mmm.. Sustenance!" joked Uub.

"He's getting closer…" said Goten. "Get him already!"

"I say he gets away." Marron flung a bill onto her yellow coffee table. Goten smirked at her.

"I'll take that bet." He flung another bill onto her table. "Come on lion – get that zebra!"

"No zebra! Get away!" Marron urged the television.

"Come on lion!"

"Run away zebra!"

"Oh!" Uub, Goten and Marron all cheered in unison. Marron triumphantly grabbed her winnings off her table.

"Come on Mommy, please would you listen to me?" begged Bra. "All of my life, everyone has always said 'Bra, you're just like your mom! Just like her!' And today, I finally asked myself, 'Am I? What if I don't want to be just like you? What if I want to be like… dad? Or an actress!'… No, mom, I don't want you to make a call – I want to do it on my own! Look mom, ultimately, it's my life! … Well, maybe I'll just stay here with Marron then." Marron raised her eyebrows at Bra's comment.

"Well, I guess I have a new roommate now – sorry Goten," Marron joked.

"Mommy, it's my decision! … Fine, maybe I don't need your money! Wait! Mommy! I said maybe!" Bra gazed down at Marron's phone. "She hung up on me…" Bra burst into tears so Marron walked over to her friend and hugged her.

"Just breathe Bra. Calm down, please. Think happy thoughts!"

"Puppies and rainbows!" Goten chimed in.

"Chocolate ice cream!" Uubu called in.

"Bra, you'll get through this. You're only 21, right? You have your whole life ahead of you. This is probably for the best, you know? You finally have independence! Take control of your own life." Marron reassured her. Uub got up from the couch and walked over to the women.

"And hey, you need anything at all, you can always come to Uub," he flirted. "I just live across the hall – Goten will now most likely be moving in with me but he's away a lot so…"

"Seriously Uub?" Marron questioned her friend. Uub scratched the back of his head and grinned. "Stop hitting on her! She's taking control of her life today!" The door buzzer rang. Goten jumped up to answer.

"Please – never again. That sound is brain shattering. Just come up," Goten instructed.

"This is, um, Akira."

"Oh no! It's already almost seven?" Marron jumped up from the couch and started towards her room. "Let him in Goten!"

"Who's Akira?" Uub inquired. Marron blushed as she waltzed into her room looking for something to wear.

"Akira Akira?" Goten yelled to Marron from the living room.

"Yes!" she shouted neck deep in her closet.

"That guy finally asked you out," said an amused Goten. "Dear Diary… Akira finally asked me out!"

"Stop it Goten!" Marron said as she walked back into the room with her black dress in hand. She stuck her tongue out at him. Her eyes widened when she saw Bra.

"Bra, wait, I can reschedule my date if you need me."

"No Marron, go!" Bra smiled at her friend and took a seat next to Goten.

"Are you sure?"

"Well…" Bra's voice choked but then she started to giggle. "No! Go! It's Akira Akira!" Marron smiled at her friend. At that moment, Akira knocked. Marron rushed towards the door and opened it for him.

"Hi! Akira! Come in! This is everyone…" she gestured to Bra, Uub and Goten as he stepped into her apartment. "…and everyone this is Akira!" Marron ushered him towards her friends. "Please, have a seat. I promise I'll only be two seconds." Akira nodded towards her and she disappeared back into her room.

"Hey Akira – word of advice – Marron really likes it when you rub her lower back in the same spot over and over and over again until it starts to get a little red," Uub lied.

"Shut up Uub!" Marron called from her bedroom.

"So, Bra – what are you up to tonight?" Goten asked as he turned his attention to Bra.

"Well I was going to go to that benefit dinner for Capsule Corp but my mom basically disowned me, so nothing!" said Bra.

"Your brother got out of it too. He and Uub were going to help me move my stuff into his apartment if you don't want to be alone tonight," offered Goten. Bra gently squeezed his hand.

"Thanks Goten, you've always been so kind to me. I think I'm just going to hang out here tonight – I've had a really long day," said Bra. Goten nodded and smiled at her.

"Okay sure."

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Goten heaved the heavy box into the moving truck and walked back up to his old apartment. He found Trunks and Uub disassembling his bed frame so he went into the kitchen to grab something to drink.

"Do you guys want something?" he asked.

"Beer!" Trunks and Uub said in unison. Goten opened the fridge and grabbed the last six pack of amber lager. He sighed and pulled a beer out to inspect it. Trunks and Uub walked into the kitchen behind him. Trunks grabbed a bottle and handed it to Uub before grabbing one for himself. They heard Goten begin to sniffle.

"This was our favorite beer together," Goten sniffled. "She let me pour it into her mouth upside down when we watched movies on our couch that she took."

"Come on Goten," urged Uub. "If you're going to start this stuff again, I am out of here."

"Yes," Trunks agreed. "Please – don't spoil all our fun."

"Since she got the couch, the mattress, the bigger TV and most of the furniture… What did you get? Uub asked. Goten looked up from his sad beer at his two friends and smirked.

"You guys!"

"Oh shit…" Trunks groaned. Uub nodded sullenly.

"You got screwed, my friend!" agreed Uub.

"Oh my god!" laughed Trunks.

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"Oh my god!" laughed Marron. She was sitting at a table for two with her handsome date Akira. The dress she chose for the evening was a little tight, so she skimped on her dinner and downed her third martini.

"I know, it's disgusting how much of an idiot I am! I really should have figured it out after the fourth 2 a.m. phone call from some dude named Botan. I mean, who does that anymore anyway?" Akira explained.

"Goten, the guy who buzzed you in, he's a great friend of mine. He's going through the same thing right now and he's such a mess! Any tips I can pass along to help him through it?" Marron asked as she playfully played with the toothpick holding her olive. Akira smiled and nodded.

"Tell him to try to accidentally break something that is really, and I mean really, valuable to her."

"Her leg?" Marron said in all seriousness.

"No!" Akira shook his head and laughed. "I meant something more like what I did – I ruined her favorite, and most expensive, pair of shoes. A little oil and grime goes a long way!"

"You actually ruined a pair of shoes?" asked Marron. "Wow! The worst thing I ever did was key his car!"

"Oh Marron, you're such a bad ass!" Akira joked. "Steer clear of you!" Marron smirked triumphantly.

"Damn right."

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It took most of the night, but the three men managed to move all of Goten's belongings into Uub's apartment across the hall from Marron's. The three sat in the living room, each with a beer in their hand, contemplating their next move. Goten closed his eyes and sighed heavily after thoughts of Valese popped into his head.

"Come on Goten," Uubu urged again.

"Look, buddy, you have to understand. Between Uub and me, we haven't had a relationship last longer than a Tic-Tac. You, however, had the love of a beautiful woman for five years! Five years of closeness and sharing…. And at the end of it all, she ripped your heart out and that, my friend, is why we don't do it!" Trunks said. "Wait, I don't think that was my point…"

"You know what the scariest part of this whole ordeal is? What if there's only one person for everyone?" Goten sighed again. "I mean, what if you get one – and that's it?"

"Woah, Goten – what are you talking about? One woman? That's like saying there is only one kind of bagel for you!" said Uub. "Let me tell you something, Goten. There are a lot of different kinds of bagels out there – there's plain. There's everything. There's everything with cheese. There's blueberry. You can eat them toasted with cream cheese or just shove them in your mouth like I do. This could be the best thing that ever happened to you! Welcome back to the single life! Grab a knife and let's get some bagels!"

"And by bagels, Uub means ladies, obviously," Trunks clarified. Goten looked down on his beer in confusion.

"I know you're trying to help guys, I really appreciate it. Now I don't know if I'm horny or hungry," Goten said as he half smiled at his friends. "Grab a knife." He repeated Uub's words to himself and his smile grew wider. "Do you know how long it's been since I grabbed a knife?" Trunks and Uub chuckled.

"Great story!" Trunks exclaimed. "I must be on my way – it's June and I got a date with… Chika? Chiyo? Chika? Oh man…" He looked over to Uub.

"Chiyo has cats and Chika is the screamer," Uub helped remind Trunks. Trunks nodded and got up.

"Right thanks! I'm out of here!" Trunks waved and saw his way out of their apartment. Uub turned to Goten and they clinked beers.

"Uub, honestly, the thing is even if I could get it together enough to… I don't know, ask a woman out… Who would I even ask?" Goten sighed and downed the last of his beer.

"She's out there Goten. You'll find her." Uub smiled and finished the last of his as well.

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Bra carefully placed the coffee pot back onto the burner and grabbed the full mugs she just filled. She placed them in front of Trunks and Uub and smiled.

"Can you believe this Trunks?" Bra asked. "I'm making coffee! I've never made coffee before my whole life!"

"Congrats little sister," said Trunks as he grabbed his mug, not looking up from his laptop.

"Amazing!" Uub said a bit too enthusiastically. Bra smiled at him and turned away. Trunks and Uub both took sips at the same time and grimaced. Too strong – way too strong.

"You know, if I can figure this silly thing out, there really isn't anything I can't do!"

"Oh look! Dumb and Dumber are here," Marron joked as she walked into her kitchen. She waltzed over to Bra and hugged her. "Good morning roomie." Bra's eyes widened as Akira entered into the kitchen as well. Uub snickered and nudged Trunks who finally looked up from his laptop. Marron left Bra's side to grab Akira's hand and led him to her front door.

"Good Morning Akira!" Uub and Bra exclaimed to the man. Akira half waved and smiled at the gang in the kitchen.

"Ah, Akira is it?" Trunks asked as he got up from his chair and walked over toward the two. He shook his hand firmly. "Trunks Briefs, I don't believe we've met before." Marron rolled her eyes at him and pushed him back towards the kitchen. She turned her attention to Akira and smiled.

"Thank you, Marron, for everything." Akira said and kissed her cheek. Marron blushed and squeezed his hand.

"Stop… We'll talk later." Akira kissed Marron and left. She turned around, red faced, and looked at her friends. "What?" she asked them.

"That wasn't a real date?" Trunks asked her. "What the hell do you do on a real date?"

"Shut up all of you. Put my kitchen back in order." Marron demanded. Bra grabbed the mugs and rinsed them out in the sink. Uub pushed in his chair, along with Bra's. Trunks packed up his laptop in his bag and shoved his glasses in his suit pocket.

"Alright children, I need to get to work. If this deal isn't signed by tomorrow night, I think mom will suffer her first heart attack." Trunks said as he walked over to Bra and kissed the top of her head. "I will not say hi to mom for you when I see her." Bra groaned at the thought as she watched her older brother leave. She turned her attention back to Uub and Marron as they made their way into the living room.

"Do you both have jobs too?" she asked as she plopped onto the couch.

"I own my own dojo across town," Uub proudly reported. "Goten works there part time too."

"We all have jobs," Marron said as she sat down next to her. "That's how we buy stuff."

"Speaking of – it's about time I headed there myself! If you'll excuse me ladies," Uub stated. He patted Marron on the head as he headed out the door. Marron turned to Bra.

"So how are you today? Did you sleep alright?" she asked. "Bra, I can't stop smiling!"

"I can see that!" Bra laughed. "It's like you got a totally botched face lift or something!"

"I know!" exclaimed Marron. "Akira is just so perfect and polite and handsome and sweet… ugh!"

"You're in trouble Marron!" Bra said happily.

"Big time!" she laughed with Bra. "Okay, I really need to get ready for work and try to not think about him all damn day."

"Good luck! Oh and wish me luck too!"

"Why?" Marron questioned. Bra grinned.

"I'm going to do it! I'm going to get a job thingy!" Marron giggled at her friend. Bra was definitely trying – and she'd be there for her every step of the way.

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Marron rushed into the studio and slammed down her bag. Her boss would kill her if he knew how late she was today – thankfully he's away on business in North City. Still, she had a lot of work to do but she couldn't get Akira off her mind. Today was already seemingly impossible.

"Marron!" She grimaced and turned towards the person calling her name. It was her prying associate from England, Danielle.

"Hey Dani," she chuckled and waved. "Welcome back! How was your trip home?"

"You had sex, didn't you?" Dani declared. Marron's eyes widened excitedly.

"How the hell do you know that?"

"Marron I totally hate you. I'm clipping my great uncle's toenails and you're getting screwed!" Dani exclaimed a bit too loudly for Marron's taste. "So are you going to tell me who?"

"You know Akira."

"Akira Akira? Oh yeah, I know Akira." Marron's heart skipped a beat with Dani's answer.

"You mean you know Akira like I know Akira?" questioned Marron. Dani giggled back.

"Are you kidding me, girl? I take credit for Akira! You know, before me, Akira couldn't get it up for two years!" Dani laughed and sat down as Marron's heart sank into her chest.

.

"Marron, of course that was a line!" Uub exclaimed. Goten, Trunks, Marron and Uub were back at Yajirobe's Coffee Shop later that evening. Marron hid her face in her hands, discouraged.

"Why?" she asked. "Why would anyone do such a thing?" Trunks looked up from his laptop and grinned.

"Would you like a more sophisticated answer or would 'to get you into bed' suffice?" he asked. Marron threw her napkin at him and buried her face back into her hands.

"It must be me. I'm wearing a huge sign that lets assholes, dogs and morons with emotional problems know that I'm super easy!" complained Marron. "I honestly thought Akira was different…" Trunks snickered.

"Marron, I can't believe you didn't know that was a line…" he playfully jabbed at her. Marron stood up and slammed Trunks' laptop shut. "Hey!" Goten and Uub laughed at the two.

"Come here Marron, let's hug it out," Goten offered. Marron walked over to him and let him encircle her with his muscular arms.

"Marron!" Marron grimaced again and turned towards the person who called her name. Bra strode into Yajirobe's with arms full of shopping bags and boxes. "Guess what!"

"You got a job?" Trunks asked, surprised.

"You're kidding me, right big brother?" Bra laughed and sat down next to Uub. "I'm trained for absolutely nothing! No one would give me the time of day."

"And yet, you're surprisingly okay with that?" questioned Uub. "I worry for your sanity."

"You would be too if you walked into West City Mall and everything was fifty percent off!" Bra motioned to all of her bags and purchases.

"Bra, you know me too well," Uub joked as he got up and made his way to the barista bar.

"And how did you pay for all of this?" Marron asked. Bra smiled nervously.

"Um, my credit card…"

"And who pays for that?"

"Um, my mom…" Bra said, accepting her defeat. Marron grabbed Bra's purse and bags and headed out the door. "Wait! Marron! Don't!" Bra rushed after her friend. The three men stared at each other for a minute.

"I have got to see this," Trunks said. Goten and Uub nodded in agreement and they rushed out following them.

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Marron spread all of Bra's wallet contents across her kitchen table. She handed a pair of scissors to Bra and smirked.

"Marron, this really isn't necessary. I mean, I can always stop charging these anytime I want!" she pleaded. Marron, Goten, Trunks and Uub all shook their heads at her.

"Come on, Bra. You can't live off your parents your whole life," said Marron. Goten nudged the blonde.

"Give her a break – it can be difficult being on your own for the first time…" Goten reminded Marron.

"Thank you Goten!" said Bra.

"You ready?" Trunks asked his little sister.

"I'm not! How can I really? Come on guys, I really can't do this!"

"Yes you can Bra!" urged Marron. "I know you can!"

"Yeah, you made coffee this morning! You can do anything!" Uub exclaimed.

"Cut, cut, cut.." Trunks began and everyone else chimed in. "Cut, cut cut.." Bra opened the scissors, grabbed her first card and made her first cut.

"Great! Let's just leave it at that – it's more of a symbolic gesture anyway…" Bra pleaded. Marron laughed as she picked up the pieces on the table and showed them to everyone else.

"That's your access card to Capsule Corp Bra!" Marron called her out. Bra groaned and closed her eyes.

"Fine. I'll do it." One by one, Bra cut up her credit cards. With each cut, they cheered her on. She could get used to being around them, that's for sure. When she was done, Goten grabbed the scissors from her and Marron gave her a big hug.

"Welcome to the real world Bra! It sucks – but you are going to love it!"

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Hours later, with Bra passed out on the couch, Marron found herself cleaning up after their mini celebration. Uub and Goten retired to their man cave across the hall as Trunks sat on his laptop at her kitchen table.

"You can crash here if you want," Marron offered grabbing the cookies off the table and sealing them. Trunks looked up and smiled at her. He shut his laptop, folded his glasses and put them in his laptop bag.

"No, I need to go home sometime," Trunks answered. He got up, stretched his arms above his head and yawned. "I still can't believe you didn't know that was a line…" Marron playfully slapped his chest as she strode past him to put the cookies back in the pantry.

"Trunks if you bring it up one more time, I'm going to have to point out that I think you're jealous…"

"Me? Jealous of that guy?" he laughed. "Nah, I have you right where I want you Marron." She eyed him cautiously as she exited her kitchen.

"Good night Trunks."

"Night gorgeous."

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