Pursky Reviews

So I kinda forgot this account existed. Well I didn't exactly forget, I just didn't really think about it much for the past 18 months... So for the few people who enjoyed my last/first upload I'm sorry I let you wait for so long. I had a lot of things to do. But now I'm finally back!

So I found this thing when I was looking through "The Amazing World of Gumball"-fan fiction. In case you don't know what that is, it's a cartoon network show made by Ben Bocquelet. It's major audience are children but that didn't stop me from watching the entire thing in February. It's hilarious in many ways. I had a lot of fun watching it all the way through and if you have a lot of time to waste you might wanna consider watching it as well. So this is a kids show. In happier times I wouldn't have believed that people were actually writing any kind of sexually themed stories about something that's supposed to be watched by kids. But the internet has a place for absolutely anything and believe me. This is by far not the worst.

The New Girl at School

By awesomeguy346

Words: 2230

Chapter 01

This story was made by a guy who calls himself "awesomeguy". I don't even know what not to expect!

a/n: Whats up Guys! I hope you like this New story! Mery Xmas!

...So spelling... that's a thing... I think complaining about other peoples English would a bit hypocritical for me. It's not my first language either and I'm sure there a lot of errors in this review as well... But I also can't contain myself well so Mery → Merry

It was a bad day at school for Gumball. He sit in class, desprately wanting to go. The only thing that kept him in that seat was pasion.

Oh my god, the story is just tempting me isn't it!? Sit → was sitting; desprately → desperately; pasion → passion.

Pasion for love. Their was a new girl in school and Gumball was in love with her! He though about her all day and all night. Her name was Yazmine (Yaz for shor)

Yeah, are you shor about that!?... Sorry I just couldn't resist.

After the class completed, he got his looks suave and approached Yaz. Hey girl, be my girlfriend please! he asked.

So that segment rises the question what exactly happened to Gumballs actual girlfriend Penny? I assume she either doesn't know, broke up with Gumball or simply doesn't exist in this context. I also don't think he'd have the nerve to just say "be my girlfriend" to a random girl who probably has no idea who he is.

Ok Yaz said. Yes! Gumball shouted loudly. Yaz and Gumball kissed for an hour before school end.

If you're confused, there's no nonspecific person saying "Ok Yaz" it's Yaz who's saying "Ok". Now this is a totally new level of romantic efficiency. Believe me if it was that easy I'd be the first one to know.

After that, Gumball went to Yaz's home. He open door and go inside Yaz's room. That's when Yaz was sexing Gumball's brother Darwin.

Now there's the sexual content that I was talking about. Also wait... "That's when Yaz was sexing Gumball's brother Darwin." At the exact moment he opened the door that is. He opened the door and they just threw themselves at each other.

He gasped loudly. What the fucking heck Yaz he asked while screaming.

Wow I didn't know you could scream out and talk at the same time. Also it is mentioned in the show that Gumball doesn't know any real curse words. Just in case the continuity wasn't broken enough yet.

Fuck you you dumb bitch ass he said. You are a stupid fuck Yaz said back at him. Yeah fuck you Gumball Darwin screamed.

This is definitely something neither Gumball nor Darwin would say to each other or anyone else. I'm trying to imagine that scenario but it just feels very wrong.

Gumball cried. I hate you 2 he said. I hate you said Darwin back. Gumball got angry and shot Darwin with an ak47, using a scope.

Great. He killed him now. With a weapon that he definitely shouldn't be able to get anywhere. Assuming he didn't bring it with him it was just laying around somewhere in Yaz's room. So where did Yaz get it? I'd also like to point out he used the scope inside a room that's probably not much longer than 15 ft. And also, Gumball fucking killed Darwin.

Chapter 02

a/n: I hope you guys are enjoy the story so far!

That's a big no.

Yaz screamed. What the fuck? Gumball she asked. Im mad Yaz he said. Your crazy! she yelled. Ok he said.

My brain hurts from a lack of logic. So Gumball isn't making much sense in this story if that wasn't obvious enough. So he'd just kill his own brother for being mad which indicates that he has some very serious anger issues but when he's confronted about it he's just like, yeah. The lack of quotations is also starting to become really annoying! I can't tell where dialog starts and where is ends!

I like a man whose tough though. They kissed for a while. Then, Gumball turned on A sky Full of Stars By Coldplay and they had a lot of sex.

Let's celebrate Darwin's death with some music, yay! Yaz is making some interesting decisions. Oh no my sex-partners gone... Well there's a new one let's just keep going. And I'm not even gonna start with underage sex.

The next day, at school, Gumball was smoking weed in the bathroom and listning to Linkin park when he over heard talking.

Well he really want's to get expelled, doesn't he?

I heard that Darwin died 1 voice said. Me too said another voice.

Now it's nice to see that at least someone is giving a fuck.

Gumball put out his weed cigarette and took out his ear buds. No he didnt! he yelled. He then left school.

Not suspicious at all. Surprisingly though this is about the most "Gumball"-thing he did in this story so far.

He was playing xbox1 when Yaz told him to come over to her house. Wen he got their they ate pizza and mtn. dew and played video games and listened to nickleback and kissed.

I'd call product placement but no one is paying awesomeguy to write this. They're also "eating" mountain Dew which means they poured it all over the pizza. That sentence contains an unnecessary amount of "and"'s too.

Than Yaz's dad got mad and said your not good enouh for my daughter. To settle it, they played multiplayer call of duty to see who would win.

Wait, so in Yaz's dad's eyes Gumball is a better son in law if he can really kick ass in COD?

Gumball won so many times so Yaz's dad said yes you are good enouh for my daughter.

Sure why not. You really like to disobey the law, you got serious anger issues, you killed your own brother and you also seem to be having sex with my underage daughter. I couldn't have picked any better myself!

In celebrate, Yaz and Gumball kiss.

Gumball went to bed that night bein' happy!

After everything that happened so far, I don't know what else this story can throw at me now. Except there's still another eight chapters... and a sequel...

Chapter 03

a/n: i hope this story is good. please rate and review. thank you.

Now in all honesty I like that. What I really don't like is when people write story's but then add "no flames!", "no haters" and similar stuff. Awesomeguy is at least open for critic to assure he's good. But that makes me wonder whether he actually thinks this is a serious legitimate story... It's kinda sad really.

everything was going amazingly good. Gumball had a Good life. suddenly, someone started spreading a rumore about him.

What is someone "accusing" him of killing Darwin?

banan joe said that gumball was gay. gumball was Angry. Suddenly though, some guy named Bob called Yaz a faggot.

But why?! Isn't it obvious they're a couple? And who's Bob! There in fact is a character named Bob in the show. Banana Bob. Banana Joe's dad. But what would he be doing at school?

Gumball killed bob with a dessert eagle though. gumball Was angry. He hated school badly.

A dessert eagle!? Is that a hand fire gun that shoots icing? Or is it a big bird who likes to eat sweet dishes a lot.

The only thing that kept him going though was pasion! pasion for love.

Well as it turns out there really is a thing called pasion-trap named after an antique greek banker "pasion".It's a tactic that prevents criminals from cashing in illegal money into a bank. So I didn't know Gumball was involved into some serious money laundering.