Author's Notes: I know that somewhere around 6 months ago I mentioned a Comedy Jake/Eddie that I was working on. Well, I have been working on it for that entire time...well the concept at least. First it was going to be about Dodgeball, which sounds good as a comedy movie, but...on paper, it looks...well, gay - and not the awesome, less used type either. Then it was going to be about two boys and a guild online, which is better, but not enough...so finally I came up with this.

I know, I know: "But Nana, you have all these unfinished chapter stories!" I do. So this is a trial chapter. A "Pilot" to a story, if you will. It is the first chapter, but if it is liked enough, after I'm actually FINISHED with DemP, I'll get it started. By that time, I should mostly done with "Expecting". I think I need to get back to something more light and containing assholery from ours truly and some hot, sexual situations.

Pairings: Jake/Jared, Jake/Riley, maybe some slight, Jake/Seth (yes, yes Jacob is borderline slutting) but this is ultimately a Jake and Eddie tale. There's also some other pairings that I'll save for later in story, if the idea is well received.

So without further ado...

Characters not owned by I

xXx

One: Logged On

I've always been more comfortable with my orientation than my nerdom. Lube and Butt plugs? Sure. Comi-con? Just between me and...me. Fisting porns and much Navy seal orgy action? You betcha. Hidden Star Wars special edition action figure collection ? Deep, deep in the closet.

My father knew for a fact I was gay at 15 and was suspicious that I was a closeted DarkWoods fanatic at the prime age of 18.

DarkWoods: Where the Supernatural Meet.

Pardon my drool, but it is the online gaming network for only those that could handle the intense world of adventure and awesome levels of ascension. In just under a month, I was a Alpha wolf of the Forks Guild, cleverly named after the bridge in the city I lived in. It was where much of the other populace of the city went, when no one was looking. Over 10, 000 members, all (or at least mostly) civilians of Masen, a city not too far away from Seattle. There are approxiamately 2,000 werewolves in the Forks Guild and yes, I am in charge of every. single. one. That's right, they listen to me. There are other creatures of course. Vampires, shape-shifters, humans - you know, the fags of the forums.

And not the fags I like.

A lot of my night hours were spent on DarkWoods. Under the name BigBadWolf, I made sure to keep my pack in order, setting out demands and protecting our land on the forum. While doing such, I completed missions and took on any fools who made the attempts to dominate.

That night was no different.

I idly sat before my computer, one leg kicked up on the computer desk. It was nearing midnight, but I made sure to lock my room door and close the blinds, the usual routine before logging on. Sipping on some flat, melted ice diluted Coke, I clicked the screen, checking my avatar's status before I heard the familiar chirp from the speakers. I had a message from Influenza, an opposing Vampire from across Forks.

Well, not so much anymore.

Apparently, her and her small coven of vamps kept clear from the Forum drama of Vampires versus Wolves. In fact, she helped me out when a few hacker vamps went a little too far on the forum, stirring up shit a few months back. I owed her ever since. I opened the message, hearing a little pop as a cloud appeared at the corner of the screen. The message read: Get your ass on MSN.

I never said she was cordial.

I replied with: K. I looked over the forum, making sure everything was on the up and up before throwing out a few messages to my packmates and closed out of the game. Turning away from the desk, I grabbed my shut laptop and dragged it with me to bed. I logged onto Windows Live and waited as the screen pulled up my buddylist. I didn't get a second to open the chat box. Instantly one popped up.

Ate-E-ate-Kees: So we have some new vamps in town.

AlphaDawg : I noticed.

Ate-E-ate-Kees: Did you handle it?

AlphaDawg: I did.

Ate-E-ate-Kees: Good.

Ate-E-ate-Kees: So...what are you wearing?

AlphaDawg: For a girl, you're a bit too dirty.

I laughed out as I typed. Ever since our temporary teaming on the forum, we had become a little too close for comfort. I wasn't attracted to her by any means - she was comfortable and charming like a guy but that was as far as it went with pussy and me. No one at Forks knew of our MSN rendevous and I wanted to keep it that way.

Ate-E-ate-Kees: Oh wolfy dear, you have no idea. ;)

xXx

"You need to get a fucking grip on yourself." I changed gears, feeling the car jerk under me. I was too busy keeping my temper down to notice just how smooth that wasn't.

"Whatever." I heard the familiar growl next to me.

"I was asking him what I missed in class - that's all." I swiped my hand in the air, making a clear horizontal line emphasizing my point, but he wasn't having it. When the hell did this become our school's version of Laguna Beach? "Do you really think I'd be fucking your best friend?" I asked. He shot me a glare, but didn't say anything.

My temper was at a boiling point. I jerked the car rather roughly as we turned into our very shit-like resembling high school. This side of towns got the short end of the stick - poor school supplies, little money for fucking lunch food, shitty looking building - whereas across the bridge, they got the whole damn tree. With a swift skill, I had my ride turning into the first vacant spot. I turned off the engine, paying no mind to the glares I got from students crossing the parking lot to the school building.

"Stop acting like a fucking bitch and kiss me. I'm not going to see you all day." I ordered. He uncrossed his arms, giving me that pout that drove me crazy a year ago, but now annoyed the hell out of me. I saw it too fucking often.

"Will you see Paul today?" He asked in a small voice.

I rolled my eyes. I couldn't help it, "Of course I'll see him today, Jared!" I snapped, "We have Chemistry together." It seemed that wasn't what he wanted to hear. He unbuckled his seat belt, huffing as he attempted to open the car door.

"Fuck you." He said, choking back tears. When the hell did we become like this? I use to find him fucking hot and irresistible. He was tough Junior year, taking on anyone who gave him the wrong look.

But now...

I pulled him back into the seat by the elbow, "Stop being so dramatic. Paul and I have a class together. We're friends that's it. And if you haven't noticed, he's straight, okay?"

"And if he wasn't?" Jared asked, watching me with glistening, brown eyes.

"We'd be friends." I sighed, "Stop creating these scenarios in your head, Jared. I'm with you." I leaned in, pecking his pressed-thin lips. Well, if he was going to be stubborn, he got no tongue, "Are you staying after school today? I can take you home."

He pulled away from me, "I'll figure something out." He got out, slamming my God-Damned door. Fucking hell.

xXx

"I think Mrs. Crab hates you." Paul cackled in my ear. I snickered, but hid my face with the textbook. My chem teacher was a hairy, fucking cunt. I made sure to tell her that the week before, and she handed me a referral to the principal, who by then was already sick of be and put me on a two-day suspension.

I was known for being a bit of a prick. I sympathized - really, but I really couldn't help it when Mrs. Crab kept to hounding me in class, just because she didn't like that I tongue fucked my boyfriend outside her room after school. She treated me like a disease ever since. Fuck her and her bigoted pussy.

"So what's up with you and Jared?" Paul had a knack for spoiling my mood.

"He thinks we're fucking." I said bluntly, getting a hilarious look from Paul.

"What the fuck?" He exclaimed getting a glare from Mrs. Crab. A few kids in our class snickered, "Are you serious?" He asked in a lower voice.

"Yes, I am." I scribbled bullshit answers on the blank spots for remembering the periodic table.

He: Head

Cu: Cum

Co: Cock

Ga: Gag

Or perhaps gay. Apparently Mrs. Crab doesn't like those elements.

"Is that why he didn't return my calls yesterday?"

"Yeah, and it's the reason he wouldn't blow me last night." There was a moment of silence as I continued filling the element gaps with fragments of my own creative perversion.

"Yeah, you know what? Let's not talk about that shit, man." Paul was so painfully straight, "I'll talk to him at lunch, straighten him out. Don't mean to offend buddy, but my cock is meant for snatch. You do nothing for me."

"The idea of you enjoying a fish taco is disgusting," I replied without much thought, "So you'll never have to worry about me fucking you. I don't like the smell of fish in my ass." I was kidding, but the look on his face had me nearly rolling out my seat.

After that was lunch. I made sure to give Paul and Jared some room. I figured a drive over to Burger King would do me good. I had the urge for Taco Bell earlier, but all that shit about snatches had me looking for meat between buns. Sadly, it was on the other side of the bridge, running over the creek - and that meant I might see some Cullen High student. I didn't think much on it. The assholes from Cullen High, usually chose to eat what their butlers cooked for them at home - or that's what I heard.

I just didn't want another confrontation. Last time I ran across the fuckers, they were on our campus. Supposedly, one of them were dating Leah, who by the way, is a total bitch. It was in efforts to piss off her ex. We found them on our campus, a BMW, a Lexus jeep and a Jaguar parked right in front of our entrance.

It wasn't pretty.

Leah jumped in one of the rides, her ex right behind. Sam wasn't a pussy, but was considerably civil - well, more civil than me. In a vain attempt, he tried to coax her out the car. He couldn't trust them as far as I could throw 'em. Of course, Leah's new boyfriend stepped in and there was nearly a full on brawl until a Silver Volvo sped into the parking lot. There was a death-like silence in the parking lot. We all knew this car.

Fucking hell, I damn sure did.

Out popped one of the hottest men I ever seen. With bronze hair, dazzling green eyes and in all his arrogance and glory, he glided over to the eye of the storm and broke the fight apart. Everything seemed cool for a minute, until Leah's man uttered some nice obscenities.

Like I said - Sam was more civil than me. It only took one swing and he was down. I was pushed back, only to be greeted by the bronze haired boy.

Edward Cullen.

I didn't think. I punched his pretty face. I was a wanted man that day. And oh yeah, that's how I got my first suspension.

I parked in front of the Burger King, noting how it looked more like a damn mini castle than anything else. Well, I suppose it worked with the theme didn't it? There wasn't much of a long line inside. I ordered the Whopper meal, getting an odd look from the cashier. Yeah, not much Quileute ever crossed the bridge over to this side of town. Granted, some of the kids back at my High School weren't from my tribe, they still got along with us because we had two things in common; we weren't loaded and we hated Cullen High. But unlike the other kids in my school, my skin was a nice russet shade, my eyes brown and my hair black. It was a sure sign that I was danger on this side of town.

But I wanted a fucking burger.

I was handed a receipt and told my number would be called. She handed me a cup before turning away quickly to handle my meal. I sighed, taking it. It was a sad thing that she went to my school as well. It pissed me off. The only ones from our side of the bridge accepted, were those that worked for the fuckers here.

I hadn't noticed the large group behind me as I fumed at the counter. I turned, ready to walk over to the soda fountain. I was completely off my guard, meeting green eyes.

"What the fuck are you doing here?"

xXx

AN: As stated before the chapter, I will not be putting anything aside for this. This is a teaser if well received and an odd, unfinished plotless one-shot if not. Considering my last attempt for a chapter story was a FAIL, I wouldn't be surprised if this isn't interesting to readers no matter how much great things I have in mind for this. When I've completed my list (which should be some time before October) then I'll carry on posting...Let me know what's on your mind. Do you like it? Is Jacob an awesome dick or annoying? Are you curious about Edward? Do you want this story to go away?