A Wong Fanfic (Starring Wong)
Wong: Neato!
Narrator: It was a nice and sunny day in Neo-Hong Kong...
Wong: A little TOO sunny, if you know what I mean...
Narrator: ...and Wong Yun Fat was on his way to the grocery store for it's weekly pocky sale.
Wong: Only weekly?!! *scribble* *scribble* ...... *threaten*
Narrator: Umm...*ahem* make that it's "daily" pocky sale...
Wong: Good, good... ...go on!
Narrator: Anyways, by the time that he had gotten to the store, all the pocky had been taken!
Wong: WHAT?!! DA HELL KINDA FANFIC IS THIS?!!
Narrator: A stupid one.
Wong: I was about to say an EVIL ONE!!! *clenches fists*
Narrator: Hey, all stories have some sort of conflict, ya know.
Wong: But...but....taking away pocky? THAT'S A SIN AGAINST ME!!!
Narrator: You don't understand! This-
Wong: DIE!!!
(Wong pulls a rope, suspended from the ceiling, and a gigantic box of Domon Brand Instant Noodles falls on top of the narrator. *Which makes a BONK noise, by the way, to all you sound effects fans.^____^*)
Narrator: Fied....nod....*dies*
Wong: Fied nod? (runs to a nearby playstation) Hey, it worked! Fiednod's the beast I'm suppose to use against the werewolf thingies! Now I can date Metalia!
Videad: I hate it when this happens....(throws phoenix down at narrator's head)
Narrator: I'm alive! I mean-ouch!! You just threw a bottle at my head!!
Videad: I don't exist! *poof!* -vanished
Wong: Uhh...what were we doin again?
Videad: *poof* No pocky! *poof*
Wong: Oh, that's right! Now what do I do, narrator guy?!!
Narrator: I'm getting to that.
Wong: No you're not. You're getting up to scratch your butt.
Narrator: How can you see me?!
Wong: You're in that room with the huge glass window right above me!
Narrator: ...... Oh.
Wong: SO?
Narrator: SO, with the help of his loyal servant... ...uhh....pssh...have any loyal servants?
Wong: Why of course! I've got good 'ole Master Asia! Oh Maaaasteeeer!!
(A dagger is thrown from off screen, landing inches from Wong's head.)
Wong: Hmmm...he must be in a bad mood today....I know! We can use Fuu Nii!
Fuu: Naaaay? (*Wha?)
Narrator: Okay, so Wong, along with his faithful servant, Fuu Nii...
Fuu Nii: Naaaaay! (*You suck.)
Narrator: ...set out on their journey for more pocky!
Wong: And cute girls!
Narrator: .... And cute girls.
Fuu Nii: Naaaay naaay! (*And carrots!)
Narrator: ................ And carrots.
Wong: Booya! (high fives Fuu Nii) Owww!!! *remember, Fuu Nii's a horse. ^^'*
Narrator: You must start by packing only what is absolutely necessary.
Wong: You mean lots and lots of clean heart boxers, of course!
Fuu Nii: Naaay! (carrot boxers)
Narrator: And then riding the subway.
Wong: Why?
Narrator: I don't know, you're the one journeying.
Wong: Right. Of course. Now then....off we go! *dramatic pose*
Fuu Nii: Naaaay!! (Whooo!)
~~
(Wong and Foo Nii are waiting behind a long line in front of the subway.)
Wong: Damn it, why am I waiting in line?! (takes out caddle prod) Outta my way!
*ZAP!* (Woman: EEEEK!!!) Yee hee heeee!!
*ZAP!* (Man: AAAAHH!!!) Whoooooo!!!
*ZAP!* *ZAP!* (Child: EEEEEP!!!) Yeee haaa!!
*ZAAAP!* (Weird guy: SHIZNITS!!!) Mya ha ha ha ha haaa!!!
Fuu Nii: (I think he's having too much fun with this...- -')
(Soon, Wong is at the front of the line, behind him a long row of people lying down and moaning in pain.)
Wong: Two tickets please!
Ticket Booth Dude: Sorry sir, I'm not allowed to sell tickets to people who cut in lines!
*ZAAAP!!!* *collapse*-yeah, that's probably not a sound effect, is it?)
(Wong leans inside the booth and grabs two tickets.)
Wong: Thank you!
TBD: *moans in pain*
Wong: Let's go Fuu Nii! Our destiny awaits us!
Fuu Nii: (You don't have to hurt everyone you come in contact with, ya know...)
Wong: What was that?
Fuu Nii: (I thought your destiny was to rule the world?)
Wong: Hmmmm? A destiny greater than pocky?
Fuu Nii: ..... (Nevermind.)
Wong: Great! We'll get us some pocky in no time what so ever!
Fuu Nii: (Why am I here?) ~ Narrator: You must be wondering why Wong can understand Fuu Nii, right?
Videad: Actually, I'm just gonna let them assume that Wong's reading the text in parentheses.
Fuu Nii: (Good idea.)
Narrator: Isn't that stupid?
Videad: Yes, why?
Narrator: Why must it be stupid?
Videad: BIRDIES!!!
Narrator: ................... Let's just return to the story now, please?
Fuu Nii: NARF!!! ~ Wong: Yay! We're on a subway adventure! I hear the food's suppose to be fresh here. But, then again, if it's really nothing but sandwiches then I don't like it....
Fuu Nii: (Idiot.)
Wong: Maybe we can pass the time away by reading the paper... ... .....or not. (throws paper away) ...............this is BORING!!
Fuu Nii: (with newspaper) Go-for-it-Domon-W won first place in the horse races again....she's hot.....
Wong: Fuu Nii, I'm gonna go hijack the subway. Watch my seat, will ya?
Fuu Nii: What sexy hooves Damn-that-Egg-Yolk's got...
Wong: I'm gonna take that as a "Yes sir, I love you, sir."
Fuu Nii: Oh, her? She won 4th place last time.
Wong: Whatever. Just don't let anyone touch my seat, gots it?
Fuu Nii: Sure, okay.
Wong: Good. (puts on a sailor outfit, and takes off one of his shoes, within two seconds) Well, I'm off. Wish me luck!
Fuu Nii: How exactly do you wish luck?
Wong: ......... (walks away)
Fuu Nii: Hmm....Baby-that-ate-one-too-many-oysters killed another jockey, it looks like...
(At the other end of the train.)
Wong: NOBODY MOVE!!! I'VE GOT A TERRIBLE RASH!!! AND IT'S MAKING ME CRANKY, AND SOMEWHAT LONELY!!!
Woman: Oh my god!! He's got a bomb in his shoe!!!
Wong: I do? OH MY GOD!!!
(Wong tosses the shoe into the air, coencedently, knocking the subway driver unconcious.)
Wong: Whoops. I mean- BWA HA HA HA HA HA HAAA!!! And now this subway is MINE!! I OWN ALL OF YOUR ASSES!!!
Man: Dude, that kinda sucks.
Man with deep dramatic voice: But WAIT! What about the co-pilot?
Co-pilot: Yes! Leave it to me to save you all-AHH!! *BONK!*
(Wong walked up to the co-pilot with his shoe and hit him over the head.)
Man wddv: ........ Damn.
Wong: Alrighty then!! This subway is now under the control of Wong Yun Fat and his faithful sidekick who is now jumping off the subway for safety reasons but not because he thinks I'm psycho, nope!
Fuu Nii: God help me...
Wong: Now, before I take control of this maintenance depleted train, I would just like to ask if anybody knows where I can find pocky!
Boy: Super Happy Pocky Land!
Wong: And where is that?!
Boy: Somewhere in Europe....
Wong: And where's that?!
Boy: ......
Wong: *points with shoe* ANSWER ME, BOY!!!
Boy: I'd have a name if I wasn't an extra....
Wong: Fine then. I'll call you Bob.
Bob: Goody.
Wong: Bob, you shall guide me to Super Happy Pocky Land!
Bob: Fishsticks.
Wong: What kind of substitute curse word was THAT?!!
Bob: Hey, I wanted to say the "s" word, but this is rated PG.
Wong: Oh. Fair enough. NOW THEN! *drama* I shall take control of the ... controls, and take this subway train to Super Happy Pocky Land! All I need to do is-
*BOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!*
(Alas, he should've taken control BEFORE they ran into a brick wall that was put there for no real reason except for explody goodness.)
Wong: I bet I get blamed for this.
Bob: Why are we still alive?!! We hit a freak'n brick wall, head first!!
Wong: Well, ya know, a train can probably crash through a brick wall if it's fast enough....and we were going pretty damned fast but we crashed anyways.
Bob: In other words?
Wong: Logic got flushed down the toilet.
Bob: ......... That was a horrible metaphor.
Wong: I've got a whole book of them, but they're all compared to flushing...
Bob: That's just sad.
Wong: Hey! Now that I've got you with me I can get to Super Happy Pocky Land and get all the pocky that I want! We'll make a great team!
(And suddenly, the Characters-Just-Added-For-The-Heck-Of-It Monster eats Bob.)
Wong: Well, pineapple oil. -more weird substitute for cursing
Fuu Nii: Hi.
Wong: Hi. Let's get out of here while the subway's completely aflamed, and ditch the cops.
Fuu Nii: I broke my leg! You're going to have to carry me!
Wong: No.
Fuu Nii: Dude, it's weird humor. A horse riding a man. Just do it before Videad kills one of us off with the Steriotypical-Fanfiction-Gag-Kill-Off- Character Monster!
Wong: Damn!
(So, Wong and Fuu Nii rode off into the sunset. .... Err, away from the huge fire that resembles a sunset. Who knows what great adventures await them as they journey towards their destinty.)
Wong: OW!! YOU KICKED ME ON PURPOSE, YOU MORON!!!
Fuu Nii: I was just stretching, now shut up and RUN!!!
~
Hiya! Another "just adlib something outta boredom" fic. But, if any of you really like this and would like me to go ahead a begin a part two, then just say so in an e-mail or review. Thanks for reading my scribble! Bye!
Wong: Neato!
Narrator: It was a nice and sunny day in Neo-Hong Kong...
Wong: A little TOO sunny, if you know what I mean...
Narrator: ...and Wong Yun Fat was on his way to the grocery store for it's weekly pocky sale.
Wong: Only weekly?!! *scribble* *scribble* ...... *threaten*
Narrator: Umm...*ahem* make that it's "daily" pocky sale...
Wong: Good, good... ...go on!
Narrator: Anyways, by the time that he had gotten to the store, all the pocky had been taken!
Wong: WHAT?!! DA HELL KINDA FANFIC IS THIS?!!
Narrator: A stupid one.
Wong: I was about to say an EVIL ONE!!! *clenches fists*
Narrator: Hey, all stories have some sort of conflict, ya know.
Wong: But...but....taking away pocky? THAT'S A SIN AGAINST ME!!!
Narrator: You don't understand! This-
Wong: DIE!!!
(Wong pulls a rope, suspended from the ceiling, and a gigantic box of Domon Brand Instant Noodles falls on top of the narrator. *Which makes a BONK noise, by the way, to all you sound effects fans.^____^*)
Narrator: Fied....nod....*dies*
Wong: Fied nod? (runs to a nearby playstation) Hey, it worked! Fiednod's the beast I'm suppose to use against the werewolf thingies! Now I can date Metalia!
Videad: I hate it when this happens....(throws phoenix down at narrator's head)
Narrator: I'm alive! I mean-ouch!! You just threw a bottle at my head!!
Videad: I don't exist! *poof!* -vanished
Wong: Uhh...what were we doin again?
Videad: *poof* No pocky! *poof*
Wong: Oh, that's right! Now what do I do, narrator guy?!!
Narrator: I'm getting to that.
Wong: No you're not. You're getting up to scratch your butt.
Narrator: How can you see me?!
Wong: You're in that room with the huge glass window right above me!
Narrator: ...... Oh.
Wong: SO?
Narrator: SO, with the help of his loyal servant... ...uhh....pssh...have any loyal servants?
Wong: Why of course! I've got good 'ole Master Asia! Oh Maaaasteeeer!!
(A dagger is thrown from off screen, landing inches from Wong's head.)
Wong: Hmmm...he must be in a bad mood today....I know! We can use Fuu Nii!
Fuu: Naaaay? (*Wha?)
Narrator: Okay, so Wong, along with his faithful servant, Fuu Nii...
Fuu Nii: Naaaaay! (*You suck.)
Narrator: ...set out on their journey for more pocky!
Wong: And cute girls!
Narrator: .... And cute girls.
Fuu Nii: Naaaay naaay! (*And carrots!)
Narrator: ................ And carrots.
Wong: Booya! (high fives Fuu Nii) Owww!!! *remember, Fuu Nii's a horse. ^^'*
Narrator: You must start by packing only what is absolutely necessary.
Wong: You mean lots and lots of clean heart boxers, of course!
Fuu Nii: Naaay! (carrot boxers)
Narrator: And then riding the subway.
Wong: Why?
Narrator: I don't know, you're the one journeying.
Wong: Right. Of course. Now then....off we go! *dramatic pose*
Fuu Nii: Naaaay!! (Whooo!)
~~
(Wong and Foo Nii are waiting behind a long line in front of the subway.)
Wong: Damn it, why am I waiting in line?! (takes out caddle prod) Outta my way!
*ZAP!* (Woman: EEEEK!!!) Yee hee heeee!!
*ZAP!* (Man: AAAAHH!!!) Whoooooo!!!
*ZAP!* *ZAP!* (Child: EEEEEP!!!) Yeee haaa!!
*ZAAAP!* (Weird guy: SHIZNITS!!!) Mya ha ha ha ha haaa!!!
Fuu Nii: (I think he's having too much fun with this...- -')
(Soon, Wong is at the front of the line, behind him a long row of people lying down and moaning in pain.)
Wong: Two tickets please!
Ticket Booth Dude: Sorry sir, I'm not allowed to sell tickets to people who cut in lines!
*ZAAAP!!!* *collapse*-yeah, that's probably not a sound effect, is it?)
(Wong leans inside the booth and grabs two tickets.)
Wong: Thank you!
TBD: *moans in pain*
Wong: Let's go Fuu Nii! Our destiny awaits us!
Fuu Nii: (You don't have to hurt everyone you come in contact with, ya know...)
Wong: What was that?
Fuu Nii: (I thought your destiny was to rule the world?)
Wong: Hmmmm? A destiny greater than pocky?
Fuu Nii: ..... (Nevermind.)
Wong: Great! We'll get us some pocky in no time what so ever!
Fuu Nii: (Why am I here?) ~ Narrator: You must be wondering why Wong can understand Fuu Nii, right?
Videad: Actually, I'm just gonna let them assume that Wong's reading the text in parentheses.
Fuu Nii: (Good idea.)
Narrator: Isn't that stupid?
Videad: Yes, why?
Narrator: Why must it be stupid?
Videad: BIRDIES!!!
Narrator: ................... Let's just return to the story now, please?
Fuu Nii: NARF!!! ~ Wong: Yay! We're on a subway adventure! I hear the food's suppose to be fresh here. But, then again, if it's really nothing but sandwiches then I don't like it....
Fuu Nii: (Idiot.)
Wong: Maybe we can pass the time away by reading the paper... ... .....or not. (throws paper away) ...............this is BORING!!
Fuu Nii: (with newspaper) Go-for-it-Domon-W won first place in the horse races again....she's hot.....
Wong: Fuu Nii, I'm gonna go hijack the subway. Watch my seat, will ya?
Fuu Nii: What sexy hooves Damn-that-Egg-Yolk's got...
Wong: I'm gonna take that as a "Yes sir, I love you, sir."
Fuu Nii: Oh, her? She won 4th place last time.
Wong: Whatever. Just don't let anyone touch my seat, gots it?
Fuu Nii: Sure, okay.
Wong: Good. (puts on a sailor outfit, and takes off one of his shoes, within two seconds) Well, I'm off. Wish me luck!
Fuu Nii: How exactly do you wish luck?
Wong: ......... (walks away)
Fuu Nii: Hmm....Baby-that-ate-one-too-many-oysters killed another jockey, it looks like...
(At the other end of the train.)
Wong: NOBODY MOVE!!! I'VE GOT A TERRIBLE RASH!!! AND IT'S MAKING ME CRANKY, AND SOMEWHAT LONELY!!!
Woman: Oh my god!! He's got a bomb in his shoe!!!
Wong: I do? OH MY GOD!!!
(Wong tosses the shoe into the air, coencedently, knocking the subway driver unconcious.)
Wong: Whoops. I mean- BWA HA HA HA HA HA HAAA!!! And now this subway is MINE!! I OWN ALL OF YOUR ASSES!!!
Man: Dude, that kinda sucks.
Man with deep dramatic voice: But WAIT! What about the co-pilot?
Co-pilot: Yes! Leave it to me to save you all-AHH!! *BONK!*
(Wong walked up to the co-pilot with his shoe and hit him over the head.)
Man wddv: ........ Damn.
Wong: Alrighty then!! This subway is now under the control of Wong Yun Fat and his faithful sidekick who is now jumping off the subway for safety reasons but not because he thinks I'm psycho, nope!
Fuu Nii: God help me...
Wong: Now, before I take control of this maintenance depleted train, I would just like to ask if anybody knows where I can find pocky!
Boy: Super Happy Pocky Land!
Wong: And where is that?!
Boy: Somewhere in Europe....
Wong: And where's that?!
Boy: ......
Wong: *points with shoe* ANSWER ME, BOY!!!
Boy: I'd have a name if I wasn't an extra....
Wong: Fine then. I'll call you Bob.
Bob: Goody.
Wong: Bob, you shall guide me to Super Happy Pocky Land!
Bob: Fishsticks.
Wong: What kind of substitute curse word was THAT?!!
Bob: Hey, I wanted to say the "s" word, but this is rated PG.
Wong: Oh. Fair enough. NOW THEN! *drama* I shall take control of the ... controls, and take this subway train to Super Happy Pocky Land! All I need to do is-
*BOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!*
(Alas, he should've taken control BEFORE they ran into a brick wall that was put there for no real reason except for explody goodness.)
Wong: I bet I get blamed for this.
Bob: Why are we still alive?!! We hit a freak'n brick wall, head first!!
Wong: Well, ya know, a train can probably crash through a brick wall if it's fast enough....and we were going pretty damned fast but we crashed anyways.
Bob: In other words?
Wong: Logic got flushed down the toilet.
Bob: ......... That was a horrible metaphor.
Wong: I've got a whole book of them, but they're all compared to flushing...
Bob: That's just sad.
Wong: Hey! Now that I've got you with me I can get to Super Happy Pocky Land and get all the pocky that I want! We'll make a great team!
(And suddenly, the Characters-Just-Added-For-The-Heck-Of-It Monster eats Bob.)
Wong: Well, pineapple oil. -more weird substitute for cursing
Fuu Nii: Hi.
Wong: Hi. Let's get out of here while the subway's completely aflamed, and ditch the cops.
Fuu Nii: I broke my leg! You're going to have to carry me!
Wong: No.
Fuu Nii: Dude, it's weird humor. A horse riding a man. Just do it before Videad kills one of us off with the Steriotypical-Fanfiction-Gag-Kill-Off- Character Monster!
Wong: Damn!
(So, Wong and Fuu Nii rode off into the sunset. .... Err, away from the huge fire that resembles a sunset. Who knows what great adventures await them as they journey towards their destinty.)
Wong: OW!! YOU KICKED ME ON PURPOSE, YOU MORON!!!
Fuu Nii: I was just stretching, now shut up and RUN!!!
~
Hiya! Another "just adlib something outta boredom" fic. But, if any of you really like this and would like me to go ahead a begin a part two, then just say so in an e-mail or review. Thanks for reading my scribble! Bye!