It had taken months to finally backtrack to where Revan was hiding. Years of waiting to finally face the one responsible for the downfall of her existence. Not that this couldn't be attributed to the former Dark Lord by half the sentient of the Galaxy, but still she would be the one to avenge all those that had been trampled in Darth Revan's path of conquer.
Revan had left years ago, almost six by now, to be precise. She didn't say where she was going, what her objective was or why she was doing it. Once again, she had surprised everyone by her sudden choice of action. Not only had the Council given her another chance, another life, but her friends had had the kindness of forgiving her for the actions she had made as a Sith Lord. And what had she done in return? She left, not even considering letting them know about her plans. She betrayed their trust, running off to the Unknown Regions before they could even blink.
Revan had once again taken what she wanted, in an egotistical fashion, and left without returning the favour.
The look in that pathetic Admiral's eyes, as he had asked her concerning Revan's whereabouts, had been touching, if nothing else. Not that it would've been a good enough motive for her to go on her quest to find Revan, but it had given her another pretext for leaving. Her main argument with the Council when discussing her departure had been Kreia's last words. The old woman had peered in the future and told her that Revan would need her help in doing whatever she cowardly left to do. She had played that card with the Council and they had believed her, granting her wish to wander in space in search for the former Sith Lord.
Now, as she neared her goal, she could hardly contain her twisted glee, her dark rejoicing at finally confronting the one that had turned her life into a disaster. She had been a promising Jedi, with an uncommon easiness at befriending people, skilled in the art of warfare and a renowned opponent on the battlefield. Escalating the ranks up to Jedi Knight, she was then named General in the army of the Republic. She had fought and killed at Malachor V… until? Snarling, she recollected what had happened when the Mass Shadow Generator had been activated. She had shielded herself in the Force at the last second, expecting the attack. What she hadn't expected was the repercussions in the Force of so many deaths at once. Being on the battlefield, she had suffered the pain firsthand; the agony had been unbearable. She had screamed as her soul had been scorched raw. The torture went on inexorably, escalating, until she felt no more.
They had found her on the distorted surface of Malachor V, knee deep in corpses and bloody mud, white creases made by now-dried tears on her dirty and red-stained face: yet she was no longer feeling anything. No pain, no suffering, no joy, nothing. Not even the Force.
They had returned her to a Republic vessel, unfortunately not Revan's, though she doubted she could've killed the accursed Jedi back then. It would've spared the galaxy a lot of trouble, but she really was in no state to fight anyone. She was an empty shell, all feelings and cares gone. People had died. People had suffered. People were happy or sad. It didn't make any difference anymore.
In that emotionless state, she resorted to reason. The war was finally over. She had nothing left to do, other than returning to Coruscant and facing the Jedi Council in trial for her desertion to Revan's side. Perhaps they could help with her state, but she was as sick of them as she was sick of everything. She was almost relieved when they exiled her to the Outer Rim. Times had been good then; she was considered a complete nobody and went by the original name Exile until it felt like a part of her. People left her to herself and she had all the time she needed to think about her life and point out where it had all gone wrong. That had been ten years ago…
A decade later, she was walking on a desolate and windswept planet known by the lousy name of Denst. Her fast and steady pace was resolute; her knuckles white from holding her double-bladed lightsaber handle so tightly. Finally, she would settle things with Revan, and that would end with one of them standing and the other a bloody and charred lump on the baked soil. Her guts twisted at the idea of fighting the damned Jedi, bringing her to the ground blow after blow after blow. She expected Revan to be either crazy or very weak by now…or both. It had been six years since she left, how could she keep up with her screwed up mind for so long? It definitely took some measure of madness to come live here; the planet was almost desert except for its only settlement, which was two days away from where she found herself now.
Exile had learned from a merchant back there about the strange whereabouts of a weird woman living alone, two-day's distance from the town. There had been a trace of fear in his voice when he had described Revan as a crazed but inoffensive witch. Exile had scoffed at the description, before knocking senseless the now useless man.
She peered into the distance at the only variation in the landscape: a small mountain not so far anymore. It was the only wise place to build a house in the surrounding area; if she didn't find Revan there then it would only confirm her idea that the formerly grand Jedi was nothing more that a deranged maniac who dared live unsheltered in those deadly winds.
Time flew by as she walked on, the mountain blocking more and more of the view as she neared it. The wind was violent, causing the long dry grass to lash at her leather boots. If not for the protective layer of thick nerf hide, her feet would be a bloody mess by now. She had discovered that the stupid grass covering this whole planet wasn't the only living vegetation for no reason; its edges were sharp like razor blades and it was impossible to burn it, uproot it or cut it without a lightsaber. It made sleeping something of a hazard unless you had a decent tent. Or you could simply not sleep, and be done sooner than if you had lost precious time recovering a non-existent fatigue.
As she peered into the distance, Exile's eyes narrowed at an unusual shape. Her heart skipped a beat as she recognized the silhouette; Revan. She had felt more than seen the other woman, but it didn't matter anymore. Her lips curled up in a wolfish grimace as she inflexibly walked on toward her goal.
Revan went from a speck to a humanoid shape to being recognizable. She was covered from head to toe with various pieces of fabric, her eyes safely protected against the wind behind goggles. Not an inch of her skin was visible. Exile snickered; not like whatever Revan could wear would protect her from the inevitable encounter with the blade of a lightsaber.
Revan stopped and so did Exile. Whereas Revan was calm and poised, arms to her side, lightsabers to her belt, Exile's pose was tense, her breath ragged, her grip on her double-bladed lightsaber tight. They stared at each other in silence, the only noise coming from the wind's berserk passage in the grass.
The former Dark Lord broke the silence, her voice crisp and clear over the wind, "It's been a while, Juno."
Exile sneered; it had been months since anybody had used her real name, which she had grown to hate profoundly. Hearing the word out of Revan's mouth simply fuelled her fury.
Falling into a fighting stance, she ignored Revan's words, "Any last word, Sith whore?"
The other woman shook her head in silent dismissal, "You're walking a path I'm simply too familiar with… Juno, what has gotten into you?"
Juno, the Exile, yelled in fury, "You stupid wench, what are you trying to do? Think you can talk me out of this one! You WILL pay!"
With those last words, she lashed forward in a blur and flurried as fast as she could at the other woman. Surprisingly, Revan evaded the attack quite easily, without even unfastening her weapons from her belt.
She used the short moment of confusion to speak to Juno again, "Don't get me wrong; I won't let you take another step closer to that mountain, but I still don't want to fight you."
Exile turned to her, "Fine, just die then!" She made another fast attack at Revan and forced blow after blow, finally getting the other woman to block with her lightsabers. The exchange went on for a while, white blade sizzling against orange and cyan blades, Exile attacking and Revan parrying each strike. After a particularly strong attack and parry, they parted, circling each other like beasts, breathing hard. Exile evaluated her situation; so far Revan had been very good, against all odds. She had not made a dent in the other woman's defences and that was the other problem; Revan hadn't made a single attack, only parries. Like she really didn't want to kill her. Exile frowned, working her mind to find a way to get past through the other woman's perfect guard. There was nothing in her regular array of powers that could distract an opponent long enough for her to cut through her flesh with her blades. It seemed inconceivable to her that with all that anger flowing in her she had nothing more violent than a Force push.
Revan spoke again, annoyance showing through, "What do you expect? I am Revan after all; you're not the first one that has come after me, all intent on having his revenge."
With a scoff, Exile retorted, "And I see you're still standing; you killed them all I guess?"
The other woman shook her head, "Of course not; some of them were convinced otherwise. As for the others, I couldn't let them kill me, so yes; I killed them. I assume responsibility for my actions."
"Good, so you won't have any problem accepting your death right NOW!" Exile threw all her anger, entangled with her Force power, at Revan. A dark purple and black barrage struck at the surprised woman, who staggered and closed her eyes in concentration. Exile used that moment to score a successful blow to the Jedi's side. Quickly regaining her composure, Revan blocked the subsequent strike and jumped away from her attacker.
"You Jedi," Exile had spat the word, "you're all talk but can't even fight properly!" Grinning cruelly, she took a good look at the wounded woman, who had kept her composed face and steady stance even though that burn was probably very painful. Exile now felt quite confident that she would win; she had a trump card in her deck.
She feinted a power attack and sent another dark wave forward. Her eyes went wide as Revan simply dove, unruffled, through the attack and struck her on a shoulder. With an angry and painful yell, she jumped away from the woman who had outwitted her.
She stammered, furious, "H- How… How did you simply ignore it?"
Revan, a smirk on her face, simply replied, "What? You expect me to fall for the same trick twice? Tssss! They should've taught you better!"
Exile brushed off her words with a sneer. Seems it won't be that easy to win, after all…
It was now dusk. The fight had gone on for hours. However powerful these women were, they had depleted most of their Force powers by now, without much improvement in their situation. They were both wounded badly, but none worse than the other. For each blow received, an equivalent blow was given. Revan was now fighting single-handedly and so was Exile. Both of them favoured a leg, had a hole to the side, more holes burnt into their armour. Frustrated by the situation, Exile was still trying to come up with a strategy that Revan wouldn't be able to counter. Apparently, she hadn't gone mad or weak during those six years. Exile cursed at herself for even thinking so, yet she wondered what could've kept her sane. Perhaps was it her love for that dimwit Admiral. Maybe she could use him to distract Revan long enough to finally kill her?
"Oh, I almost forgot… On Telos I met with some man, an Admiral by the name of Carth Onasi? You know him?"
To Exile's satisfaction, the bait was a success. Revan's eyes were now connected to hers, reflecting a mix of anguish and curiosity.
She went on, sarcastically, "The poor pathetic bloke, even after all this time, he was still waiting for you to return. I commend his devotion, though it's a fool's commitment!"
Blunder. Her last words hadn't served her purpose at all; iron will was now the only emotion Revan's eyes reflected and she, Exile-Juno, felt something had stirred in her mind as she heard herself say the word "fool". Part of her resolution crumbled and she worked hard to compose herself.
That's when Revan did something very stupid. The wise and clever Jedi, the great tactician everyone praised, the former Dark Lord of the Sith turned her eyes away from her opponent. She looked back at the mountain and frowned, worry marking her features. You should've worried about me, instead of a pointless mountain! Exile shrugged off the idea and channelled what was left of her Force powers in a string of blue lightning she threw at Revan. It scored perfectly; Revan arched and yelled in pain, falling to her knees when it stopped. With a scream of satisfaction, Exile jumped on her with a power attack. The other woman barely evaded it and it cut through her hood; fabric, hair and the now useless goggles fell on the ground. Exile could now see Revan's face as the poor Jedi awkwardly blocked the blows breaking on her. She peered into the blue-grey eyes of the losing woman, drank in the fear and sadness she saw. It fuelled her and her attacks grew stronger. With a particularly heavy strike, she disarmed Revan of her last lightsaber. She raised her arm over her head for the final blow but... Revan raised steady eyes to meet hers, in which Exile saw not sadness, not pain, not a plea for her life, but a sour acceptance of her fate. She saw unfulfilled plans; a will to redeem herself for her past actions… loved ones?
Exile snapped out of it and her anger came back, overwhelming, engulfing her. Snarling, she finally lowered her arm… and was sent backward in a powerful rush of Force before her blow could connect. She landed ungracefully some distance away, her lightsaber thudding on the rough ground outside arm's reach. In her astonished state, she completely forgot about the dangerous grass until it lashed at her unprotected face. She rolled over, yelling in pain, trying to cover her bloody figure with her gloved hands. Stumbling to her feet, she took a look at her hands only to find them covered with blood, her blood, and realized that one of her eyes was blind and incredibly painful. She cursed, anger building up in her again, and turned to face the one from whom the attack had originated.
She froze in surprise as she met the steady gaze of a six-year-old boy. He was standing beside Revan's kneeling shape, holding one of her arms. For a child that young, he had a very strong presence and emanated an unnatural aura of power. They silently gauged each other.
He was the first one to speak, as Exile was too dumbstruck to react, "I won't let you kill my mo…"
Revan interrupted him, her voice low but firm, "Eli, this is between her and me. I thought I told you to stay in the house, where you'd be safe."
He answered but his eyes remained locked on the Exile, "If I hadn't come, you would have died, and she might have come after me. I wouldn't have been safe."
Exile was awed; just then he had sounded so much wiser than his age would let her believe.
She finally found enough wits to ask, "Who- who are you?"
"My name is Elijah Malak Onasi."
Suddenly it all made sense; the kid had Revan's hair colour and she had seen those deep hazel eyes on the Admiral's face. For a brief second, she wondered if he knew about the mutt? And such power? It was obviously his mother's heritage.
Anger narrowed her mind to a straight line, now obsessed over how much she wanted to kill the brat who had thwarted her victory... She took a menacing step forward but Revan struggled to her feet and protectively placed herself between Exile and her objective.
"I won't let you touch a hair of his head, even if that means my death." The iron will was back in Revan's cold eyes.
Exile stopped in her tracks. Through the pain and the recent turn the situation had taken, she felt anger mixed with confusion and surprise. She had come to kill Revan, but her plan had backfired when she found out that Revan wasn't as helpless as she had thought. There was the kid too; killing a coward criminal who ran away was something, but killing a mother..? In front of her son..? She dismissed unwanted memories of her own youth and took a second look at the kid who had stood to help his mother. How could he stand up to defend his sinful mother? Didn't he know?
"Kid," she said, her voice hoarse, "do you have any idea of what your mother has done? All the crimes she has committed? All the people she has betrayed?"
He nodded, "I know my mother was once the Dark Lord of the Sith. I know she was given a chance to redeem herself and she took it. She found reasons to fight, reasons to keep on living to atone for her crimes. I trust her."
Revan spoke next, her soft voice piercing holes in Exile's wall of rage, "If by my death I could've undone all my wrongs, then I would've died long ago. Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way. I was offered a new life, a chance to redeem myself, like Eli said." She grinned at her son and went on, "Juno, why don't you give yourself such a chance? You survived Malachor V, but what for? What are you fighting for?"
What am I fighting for? Revan's words resonated in Exile's -Juno's- mind. What for? As deep as she dug for an answer, she found none.
She voiced a retort, her voice weak and unsteady, "I- I came here seeking revenge; I wanted to have you pay for all you've taken, all those people who died because of you!"
Revan didn't budge at the accusation, "And what would you have done after that? Would it have brought you the peace you seek?"
"It's not peace I seek but your demise!" the other woman burst out in misled anger.
Revan kept on going, "Juno, think about it, will my death now change anything that has happened in the past? If I judge based on the various revenges I've seen accomplished in my life so far, I can assure you that none of them brought good to their bearers."
Exile remained silent. But..! But? But what, Revan's right, her mind conceded. She found she had nothing to counter that. The wall was crumbling down.
"Lady Juno, can I ask you something?" The question had come from the kid, Eli.
She nodded. Sure kid, ask; I've already lost.
"Isn't there anybody you really want to return to? Someone for whom it's all worth?"
As she thought about it, memories of moments spent with her friends imposed themselves: Atton, Mical, Bao-dur, Mira, Atton, Mandalore, Visas, Atton? She realized that she missed them, some more than others, of course, but still… She hadn't even bid them farewell. She realized now, too late, that she had never been very nice to them and yet they had stuck by her side. Guilt and remorse crawled up in her.
Eli spoke again, his voice betraying his enthusiasm, "I really want to meet with my dad. Mom has told me a lot of stories about him; I'm so eager to see him for real."
The last pebbles of anger dissolved away from Juno's heart at the kid's words. She smiled at him, her first real smile in a long while, and it felt good.
"I hope you do, kid, the man looks like a very kind, devoted and loving fellow."
He raised pleading eyes to Juno, "I- I'll only be able to meet him once mother is done with her task. She said help would come. I- If- If you help her, she will be done sooner!" His eyes fell to the ground, leaving the rest unsaid.
Juno chuckled sadly, "I'm no good, kid; I'm broken and useless, my ideas misplaced and my heart lost. What help could I ever be to the mission your mother took upon herself?"
The reply came from Revan, "Don't say that, old friend. You saw your mistake, saw through the rage that was blinding you and you understood. An accepted fault is half-forgiven." Revan smiled at the other woman, her eyes kind and condoning, "You need time and a chance to prove your worth, to uphold that you haven't been saved in vain. I'm offering you that chance; join me in this, work with me again." Revan went silent as the implied meaning in her words sank in.
A sudden wave of past feelings and memories surged in Exile, in an attempt at stirring up her wall of anger for one last time, but she let it roll off her. It faded away, leaving her clear and free. Of course, it would be taking the risk of losing everything again. Unlike then, this time she knew what was weighing in the balance. She could either stand proudly with no more remorse or regrets or shrivel on herself until her mind imploded into madness. She could either kill Revan here and now or help her and have a chance to make it up to her loved ones.
"Thanks, Revan, Eli, I…" Her voice caught in her throat.
Revan gave her an inviting smile and gestured to follow her, "Come, my friend. We need to take shelter before the nightwind rises. And you need medical help for that eye, it looks bad."
Juno took a hesitant step and fell slowly in pace with Revan as Eli quickly gathered their lightsabers. They marched steadily toward the mountain: the trio a strange, bloody and burned procession. As they walked, the thought occurred to Exile that she had never thought her day could end this way. She smiled inwardly. Her voyage had been fuelled by her anger and hatred. She had directed them at Revan, but she now saw how futile that had been.
She had come to this place like a mad wolf set on a prey. In her narrow obsession, she hadn't realized that her prey was but another hunting wolf, intent on defending what was hers. The other wolf had won because of the simple fact that it had something worth fighting and dying for, while she had nothing but her empty anger to back her up.
Yet she, Juno the mad wolf, had been spared. Her so-called enemy had not killed her, but reached to her with a welcoming hand. As she had taken it, it had struck her that the thing about wolves is that they hunt better in packs.
Once again, thanks to Jiara for the beta and the corrections :)