Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I don't own them, I just like to play with them for a little
while and then return them relatively unharmed. I make no money off
writing this, so no point in suing me! :)
Feedback: Please! I love it!
Archive: Sure, just ask first please! It'll also be available on
http://www.pixies-bookshelf.com/fic/archive.asp.
Summary: "What, you don't like my self-flagellation?"
Spoilers: all the way up through "War Crimes"
Category: Donna/Other, Josh/Donna, romance, angst
Notes: This one follows up after my two latest ficlets, "Interlude: Face the Music" and "Interlude: Mixed Emotions". They all fall in to my little "Floral Arrangements" universe/series/place-your-name-here. The word 'pachdn' I got from a Yiddish-English online dictionary, so don't blame me if it's wrong, blame the dictionary! ;)
***************
Cliff approached Donna and Josh who had stood to meet him. She still didn't look at him, her disgust with him all the more apparent upon closer inspection. The lawyer kept his gaze on Josh as he handed back the diary to the other man.
"Nothing that would require any further investigation." He paused, glancing at Donna. "You got lucky."
His comment gained a glare from her, but he said nothing. Cliff turned around and walked away. Not until he had disappeared around the other side of the fountain did either of them move or talk.
"Smug bastard," the blonde commented through gritted teeth.
Josh glanced at her. "He may be, but he's right."
Donna turned her glare on Josh. "I don't need this right now."
"Donna," he said, his tone warning.
"I don't need to be told how supremely *stupid* I was for even having gone out with him, let alone *slept* with him! And then the deposition, saying I didn't have a diary. Do you not think I've beat myself up over *every* *damn* *mistake* I have made over the past couple of weeks? And I've stood by and let you get your anger out, let you rail at me, and apologized until I'm blue in the face. But not anymore. I don't need this, Joshua." She grabbed the diary from his hands, then turned away from him. She stalked toward the closest subway station, leaving a stunned Josh Lyman in her wake.
~ One week later ~
Donna lay down in bed, bone-tired from another long week of work. Ever since the time of the Diary Incident, as she was calling it, things between her and Josh had become very strained, painful even. They were civil, they got their work done, but any closeness they may have built up over the past three to four years seemed to have disappeared overnight. Both of them were angry, at each other and at themselves, but there didn't seem to be any middle ground where they could meet.
Sam had tried to play counselor with them, which she thought was sweet, but she knew that it wasn't going to be a simple case of kiss-and-make-up. There was just too much anger there.
Donna sighed as Cindy, one of her roommates cats, snuggled up to her, looking for attention. She absentmindedly petted the cat's head, receiving loud purrs from the appreciative animal. She looked at Cindy, who was now on her back as if she to ask for a tummy rub. Donna couldn't help but smile at the cat, then proceeded to give her what she wanted.
"If only humans were as easy to please as you," she stated.
~ One month later ~
Donna awoke suddenly at the sound of something hitting her window. At first she thought it was an early hailstorm, but when she heard her name called, she knew what was really going on.
The blonde glanced at the clock as she pulled herself out of bed. 1am. She sighed and threw on her dressing gown before daring to open the window. A cold breeze blew in, sending a shiver through her, then a stone just barely missed her when she went to stick her head outside.
"Josh, what are you doing?" she whispered angrily.
The man in question looked up from his attempts to find another stone, a goofy smile on his face.
"Why do I suddenly feel like I'm in the middle of a bad version of Romeo & Juliet?" she commented to herself.
"I..I tried calling but there was no answer.." he said, his voice betraying the fact that he was drunk.
Donna sighed. "I took the phone off the hook, I needed to sleep."
"Oh." He looked down, his expression saddening. He moved to walk away, but Donna called out to him, her tone concerned.
"Josh, you're not driving, are you?"
He stopped and turned to look at her. "Nope. Thought a nice, brisk walk back to Georgetown would do me some good," he joked.
She rolled her eyes. "Get your ass up here and I'll call you a cab."
"I don't..."
"Just do it," she commanded, closing her window and heading for the door.
"Yes m'am," he stated, giving a salute to the window. Josh walked up the front steps and waited for her. A minute later she opened the front door to her building and dragged him inside. She made a face as the smell of booze wafted off him to her nose.
"C'mon, before my neighbors *do* wake up and start talking more about me and my crazy boss," she said, heading upstairs to her apartment.
"Your neighbors talk about us?"
"Only when you show up drunk and yelling at the cats."
"I do *not* yell at the cats!" he protested as they approached her door. She opened it quickly and grasped Josh by the arm, pulling him in and shutting the door before he could make more of a fuss in the hallway.
"Where are the cats anyway?" he asked.
"Probably went into hiding in Josie's room as soon as they heard your voice."
He snorted. "Oh, and I am *not* crazy. At least that's what Stanley tells me," he stated, pointing a finger at her. She took hold of the finger.
"Of course not, Josh. They're the ones that are crazy," she appeased.
The two of them suddenly realized how close they stood near the other, something that hadn't happened in a few weeks. Both felt partly uncomfortable, and partly at ease.
Donna let go of his finger. "So, I'll call you a cab now that we've got you inside and agreed on your non-craziness." She walked across the living room to pick up the receiver she had left off the hook.
"I miss you."
Donna dropped the receiver in shock at his statement, letting it clatter to the floor. He sounded so damned...sober, and she hadn't exactly been expecting something like that to come out in his drunken state. She turned around to see him standing in the same place she had left him only moments ago. His expression was one of a lost little boy, the look that always seemed to make her resolve weaken whenever he did or said something stupid. She sat on the couch arm, as far as she could possibly be from him right now so that she couldn't do anything really dumb. Like hug him.
"Josh," she said quietly, "I know what you're trying to do."
"What's that?"
"You're trying to make me forget about how angry you are with me, to make me give in."
"I'm not angry..."
"You still are, even if you don't admit it to yourself."
"Did you ever think that it's you that wants me to still be angry?"
"Why would I want that?"
"So that you feel justified in still being angry at yourself, and at me for me previous anger?"
Her expression changed to annoyance. "I do *not* need justification..." she began, pushing herself up from her seated position to pick up the receiver.
Josh was at her side in a moment, stopping her from dialing the phone by grabbing the receiver from her hand. He tossed it on the couch and took hold of her hands, attempting to stop her from going for it. She didn't move, only stared at him.
"I want you to stop beating up on yourself," he said.
Her brow furrowed at his words.
"Don't say you're not, because I know you still are." He paused, sighing and letting his head hang down. "I know I haven't exactly made overtures to show you that I'm no longer angry, but...you've been so distant that I had begun to think you didn't want me near you, that maybe you weren't ready to hear it."
"Then why are you here?" she whispered.
He looked up again, letting go of her hands. She stayed put. "The senior staff went out tonight to O'Shea's..."
"Oh?"
"You had gone before anyone could ask. Anyway, we played pool, we talked..our usual thing. Except one thing wasn't usual. You weren't there. And our conversation, no matter how hard I tried to steer it from that, eventually came down to it. It was Toby of all people who told me to stop being such a pachdn.."
"A what?"
"Basically a coward. Anyway, he told me to stop being a coward and to at least try telling you that I wasn't angry with you any more."
"And how many more drinks did it take before you decided to follow his advice?" Josh heard the bemusement in her tone and shook his head.
"It didn't.."
"Josh.."
"A couple more. There, you happy now?" he asked, his voice betraying a pinch of annoyance. When he saw her smiling, the annoyance was gone.
"It's been too long since I saw you smile," he told her, returning it.
Donna felt any possible lingering anger with him disappear. Her expression softened and Josh scrunched his face up.
"Are you going to get all girly on me?"
Before he could protest she pulled him into a tight hug. She felt his whole body relax in the embrace, his arms wrapping around her and resting his hands on her back. Donna closed her eyes and finally let herself relax for the first time in weeks.
They stayed in their embrace for a few minutes before either spoke again.
"So are you going to stop beating up on yourself?"
"What, you don't like my self-flagellation?" she queried, pulling back a little to look at him. Josh's expression was speechless, but when he saw the mischievous glint in her eyes he found his voice again.
"You are pure evil, you know that?"
Donna laughed while Josh shook his head at her. They shared a smile, then moved out of the embrace.
"I guess I should call that cab."
"You can stay."
Josh looked at her, checking her expression.
"You sure?"
"I'll even let you sleep in my bed. If you agree to shower first," she added.
"I don't smell that bad!" he protested, then put his arm to his nose. He jerked back his head from the smell. "Okay, shower it is." He made his way to the bathroom, walked inside, then stuck his head around the corner. "So, by me sleeping in your bed..."
"I'm on the couch, mister. Don't even *think* you're gonna get lucky."
He gave her a cheeky grin and disappeared back into the bathroom, shutting the door after him.
"Some people," she commented with exasperation. Her exasperated tone didn't stop a smile from spreading across her lips anyway.
THE END
Disclaimer: I don't own them, I just like to play with them for a little
while and then return them relatively unharmed. I make no money off
writing this, so no point in suing me! :)
Feedback: Please! I love it!
Archive: Sure, just ask first please! It'll also be available on
http://www.pixies-bookshelf.com/fic/archive.asp.
Summary: "What, you don't like my self-flagellation?"
Spoilers: all the way up through "War Crimes"
Category: Donna/Other, Josh/Donna, romance, angst
Notes: This one follows up after my two latest ficlets, "Interlude: Face the Music" and "Interlude: Mixed Emotions". They all fall in to my little "Floral Arrangements" universe/series/place-your-name-here. The word 'pachdn' I got from a Yiddish-English online dictionary, so don't blame me if it's wrong, blame the dictionary! ;)
***************
Cliff approached Donna and Josh who had stood to meet him. She still didn't look at him, her disgust with him all the more apparent upon closer inspection. The lawyer kept his gaze on Josh as he handed back the diary to the other man.
"Nothing that would require any further investigation." He paused, glancing at Donna. "You got lucky."
His comment gained a glare from her, but he said nothing. Cliff turned around and walked away. Not until he had disappeared around the other side of the fountain did either of them move or talk.
"Smug bastard," the blonde commented through gritted teeth.
Josh glanced at her. "He may be, but he's right."
Donna turned her glare on Josh. "I don't need this right now."
"Donna," he said, his tone warning.
"I don't need to be told how supremely *stupid* I was for even having gone out with him, let alone *slept* with him! And then the deposition, saying I didn't have a diary. Do you not think I've beat myself up over *every* *damn* *mistake* I have made over the past couple of weeks? And I've stood by and let you get your anger out, let you rail at me, and apologized until I'm blue in the face. But not anymore. I don't need this, Joshua." She grabbed the diary from his hands, then turned away from him. She stalked toward the closest subway station, leaving a stunned Josh Lyman in her wake.
~ One week later ~
Donna lay down in bed, bone-tired from another long week of work. Ever since the time of the Diary Incident, as she was calling it, things between her and Josh had become very strained, painful even. They were civil, they got their work done, but any closeness they may have built up over the past three to four years seemed to have disappeared overnight. Both of them were angry, at each other and at themselves, but there didn't seem to be any middle ground where they could meet.
Sam had tried to play counselor with them, which she thought was sweet, but she knew that it wasn't going to be a simple case of kiss-and-make-up. There was just too much anger there.
Donna sighed as Cindy, one of her roommates cats, snuggled up to her, looking for attention. She absentmindedly petted the cat's head, receiving loud purrs from the appreciative animal. She looked at Cindy, who was now on her back as if she to ask for a tummy rub. Donna couldn't help but smile at the cat, then proceeded to give her what she wanted.
"If only humans were as easy to please as you," she stated.
~ One month later ~
Donna awoke suddenly at the sound of something hitting her window. At first she thought it was an early hailstorm, but when she heard her name called, she knew what was really going on.
The blonde glanced at the clock as she pulled herself out of bed. 1am. She sighed and threw on her dressing gown before daring to open the window. A cold breeze blew in, sending a shiver through her, then a stone just barely missed her when she went to stick her head outside.
"Josh, what are you doing?" she whispered angrily.
The man in question looked up from his attempts to find another stone, a goofy smile on his face.
"Why do I suddenly feel like I'm in the middle of a bad version of Romeo & Juliet?" she commented to herself.
"I..I tried calling but there was no answer.." he said, his voice betraying the fact that he was drunk.
Donna sighed. "I took the phone off the hook, I needed to sleep."
"Oh." He looked down, his expression saddening. He moved to walk away, but Donna called out to him, her tone concerned.
"Josh, you're not driving, are you?"
He stopped and turned to look at her. "Nope. Thought a nice, brisk walk back to Georgetown would do me some good," he joked.
She rolled her eyes. "Get your ass up here and I'll call you a cab."
"I don't..."
"Just do it," she commanded, closing her window and heading for the door.
"Yes m'am," he stated, giving a salute to the window. Josh walked up the front steps and waited for her. A minute later she opened the front door to her building and dragged him inside. She made a face as the smell of booze wafted off him to her nose.
"C'mon, before my neighbors *do* wake up and start talking more about me and my crazy boss," she said, heading upstairs to her apartment.
"Your neighbors talk about us?"
"Only when you show up drunk and yelling at the cats."
"I do *not* yell at the cats!" he protested as they approached her door. She opened it quickly and grasped Josh by the arm, pulling him in and shutting the door before he could make more of a fuss in the hallway.
"Where are the cats anyway?" he asked.
"Probably went into hiding in Josie's room as soon as they heard your voice."
He snorted. "Oh, and I am *not* crazy. At least that's what Stanley tells me," he stated, pointing a finger at her. She took hold of the finger.
"Of course not, Josh. They're the ones that are crazy," she appeased.
The two of them suddenly realized how close they stood near the other, something that hadn't happened in a few weeks. Both felt partly uncomfortable, and partly at ease.
Donna let go of his finger. "So, I'll call you a cab now that we've got you inside and agreed on your non-craziness." She walked across the living room to pick up the receiver she had left off the hook.
"I miss you."
Donna dropped the receiver in shock at his statement, letting it clatter to the floor. He sounded so damned...sober, and she hadn't exactly been expecting something like that to come out in his drunken state. She turned around to see him standing in the same place she had left him only moments ago. His expression was one of a lost little boy, the look that always seemed to make her resolve weaken whenever he did or said something stupid. She sat on the couch arm, as far as she could possibly be from him right now so that she couldn't do anything really dumb. Like hug him.
"Josh," she said quietly, "I know what you're trying to do."
"What's that?"
"You're trying to make me forget about how angry you are with me, to make me give in."
"I'm not angry..."
"You still are, even if you don't admit it to yourself."
"Did you ever think that it's you that wants me to still be angry?"
"Why would I want that?"
"So that you feel justified in still being angry at yourself, and at me for me previous anger?"
Her expression changed to annoyance. "I do *not* need justification..." she began, pushing herself up from her seated position to pick up the receiver.
Josh was at her side in a moment, stopping her from dialing the phone by grabbing the receiver from her hand. He tossed it on the couch and took hold of her hands, attempting to stop her from going for it. She didn't move, only stared at him.
"I want you to stop beating up on yourself," he said.
Her brow furrowed at his words.
"Don't say you're not, because I know you still are." He paused, sighing and letting his head hang down. "I know I haven't exactly made overtures to show you that I'm no longer angry, but...you've been so distant that I had begun to think you didn't want me near you, that maybe you weren't ready to hear it."
"Then why are you here?" she whispered.
He looked up again, letting go of her hands. She stayed put. "The senior staff went out tonight to O'Shea's..."
"Oh?"
"You had gone before anyone could ask. Anyway, we played pool, we talked..our usual thing. Except one thing wasn't usual. You weren't there. And our conversation, no matter how hard I tried to steer it from that, eventually came down to it. It was Toby of all people who told me to stop being such a pachdn.."
"A what?"
"Basically a coward. Anyway, he told me to stop being a coward and to at least try telling you that I wasn't angry with you any more."
"And how many more drinks did it take before you decided to follow his advice?" Josh heard the bemusement in her tone and shook his head.
"It didn't.."
"Josh.."
"A couple more. There, you happy now?" he asked, his voice betraying a pinch of annoyance. When he saw her smiling, the annoyance was gone.
"It's been too long since I saw you smile," he told her, returning it.
Donna felt any possible lingering anger with him disappear. Her expression softened and Josh scrunched his face up.
"Are you going to get all girly on me?"
Before he could protest she pulled him into a tight hug. She felt his whole body relax in the embrace, his arms wrapping around her and resting his hands on her back. Donna closed her eyes and finally let herself relax for the first time in weeks.
They stayed in their embrace for a few minutes before either spoke again.
"So are you going to stop beating up on yourself?"
"What, you don't like my self-flagellation?" she queried, pulling back a little to look at him. Josh's expression was speechless, but when he saw the mischievous glint in her eyes he found his voice again.
"You are pure evil, you know that?"
Donna laughed while Josh shook his head at her. They shared a smile, then moved out of the embrace.
"I guess I should call that cab."
"You can stay."
Josh looked at her, checking her expression.
"You sure?"
"I'll even let you sleep in my bed. If you agree to shower first," she added.
"I don't smell that bad!" he protested, then put his arm to his nose. He jerked back his head from the smell. "Okay, shower it is." He made his way to the bathroom, walked inside, then stuck his head around the corner. "So, by me sleeping in your bed..."
"I'm on the couch, mister. Don't even *think* you're gonna get lucky."
He gave her a cheeky grin and disappeared back into the bathroom, shutting the door after him.
"Some people," she commented with exasperation. Her exasperated tone didn't stop a smile from spreading across her lips anyway.
THE END