"I Can Cry"
(heero's POV)
'How can I be so selfish....I feel as if I dont want to leave the comfort of her arms...
I watched her face as she threw her arms around me, why does she welcome me like this when I've done all I can to push her away. I am a soldier not deserving to be cared for. but yet here I am with her soft arms tightly around me in a welcome, she's crying? But I cant feel compassion...I dont feel for her, I never could'
"Heero, I'm so glad you're alive, you've saved us again...the world and the colonies are forever endebted to you"
'I feel her pull me closer to her, her warm tears are rubbing against my cheek, I can only close my eyes. I did what I had to I didnt try to save anything except....... what 'was' I trying to save.' She cuddles closer to me, crying in my arms 'was I trying to save her?'
"Relena? whats wrong?..."
'I feel my voice independantly sound out her name' she jumps back, obviously embarrased.
"I'm just glad it's all over....thats all....now mayby you dont have to fight anymore"
My eyes grow wide..'Dont have to fight' I feel something sting in my eyes.....'whats this.....I never even thought of not fighting, thats what I grew up training to do....fight....kill.' I feel something warm trickle from the corner of my eye......
"Whats..this?"
She smiles at me
"Ohh heero....those are 'your' tears...the ones you've never cried...you can now be free, be your own person...heero you can have feelings now, you dont have to be a cold soldier anymore"
I am still in shock that I can cry...'In a way I wish she would hold me again, although that goes against all my beliefs. there is no way that I can just forget how I was raised, as long as people's imperfect hearts exist...there will be hate....and peace will be hard to maintain. I know as long as I am alive, She is not safe around me because I will not believe completely in pacifism. I know how my heart.....my heart....I never really thought about it...I have a heart. but that heart is only true to the soldier in me' my thoughts are interupted as I see her face beaming in front of me. She has a saddness yet a thankful look about her. again she throws herself at me.
"Just hold me for now....please heero"
I feel her soft warmth...and for the first time ever I lift my arms to hold her back. I feel a release inside my own soul. Like a flood has been released from my heart and my eyes. I turn my head so that I am laying it on her shoulder. together we cry........
"I can cry..........I 'can' cry"......
(heero's POV)
'How can I be so selfish....I feel as if I dont want to leave the comfort of her arms...
I watched her face as she threw her arms around me, why does she welcome me like this when I've done all I can to push her away. I am a soldier not deserving to be cared for. but yet here I am with her soft arms tightly around me in a welcome, she's crying? But I cant feel compassion...I dont feel for her, I never could'
"Heero, I'm so glad you're alive, you've saved us again...the world and the colonies are forever endebted to you"
'I feel her pull me closer to her, her warm tears are rubbing against my cheek, I can only close my eyes. I did what I had to I didnt try to save anything except....... what 'was' I trying to save.' She cuddles closer to me, crying in my arms 'was I trying to save her?'
"Relena? whats wrong?..."
'I feel my voice independantly sound out her name' she jumps back, obviously embarrased.
"I'm just glad it's all over....thats all....now mayby you dont have to fight anymore"
My eyes grow wide..'Dont have to fight' I feel something sting in my eyes.....'whats this.....I never even thought of not fighting, thats what I grew up training to do....fight....kill.' I feel something warm trickle from the corner of my eye......
"Whats..this?"
She smiles at me
"Ohh heero....those are 'your' tears...the ones you've never cried...you can now be free, be your own person...heero you can have feelings now, you dont have to be a cold soldier anymore"
I am still in shock that I can cry...'In a way I wish she would hold me again, although that goes against all my beliefs. there is no way that I can just forget how I was raised, as long as people's imperfect hearts exist...there will be hate....and peace will be hard to maintain. I know as long as I am alive, She is not safe around me because I will not believe completely in pacifism. I know how my heart.....my heart....I never really thought about it...I have a heart. but that heart is only true to the soldier in me' my thoughts are interupted as I see her face beaming in front of me. She has a saddness yet a thankful look about her. again she throws herself at me.
"Just hold me for now....please heero"
I feel her soft warmth...and for the first time ever I lift my arms to hold her back. I feel a release inside my own soul. Like a flood has been released from my heart and my eyes. I turn my head so that I am laying it on her shoulder. together we cry........
"I can cry..........I 'can' cry"......