NEVER
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Disclaimer: I don't own/know any of these characters/cast members. You do the math. J
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He thought about her all the time, but he couldn't…wouldn't…face her. Not after everything he'd done to her. She probably didn't want to see him again anyway.
He leaned over, scratching his head, frustrated. Everything about her stuck to him. Her smell, her eyes, her touch, her smile…her love.
He was annoyed with himself. Why did he have to be such an asshole? She already loved him…then he abused that trust…that love. He hurt her, and he didn't deserve her forgiveness.
He didn't deserve anything.
He closed his eyes, holding back the tears that were threatening to spill. Would you bloody stop thinking about her already? He scolded himself.
It all stuck to him.
Her laugh…
Her hair…
Bloody hell! Stop thinking about how bloody wonderful she is! He thought angrily, getting up and pacing the room.
Her clothes…
Her house…
Bitty Buffy…
The Buffy-Bot…
Then realization set in. You'll never see her again. You'll never see any of that stuff again.
He crumpled at the thought, his knees gave way and he stumbled, landing on a nearby chair. He sank into and slouched over, blinking back tears.
Then, without warning, the floodgates opened and the tears came crashing down.
He closed his eyes, running his hands exasperatedly through his hair. NEVER. He would NEVER see her again. NEVER.
The mere thought of never touching her again, never holding her again, never being with her again…it was making him sick.
NEVER. The word whispered itself, weaving itself, imprinting itself in his mind. He would never see her…never hear her voice again. Maybe he could apologize…but something told him she'd never forgive him…
Or maybe it was just the fact that he could never forgive himself.