Title: My Mentor
Disclaimer: I don't own Scrubs
Warnings: Slash (only if u look deep enough)
Summary: It's Dr. Cox's turn to watch a suicidal J.D.
Author's note: yea, so I'm very sorry if I didn't capture their personalities well. it's my first Scrubs fic. so be gentle
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Dr. Cox paced anxiously around his apartment with only one word on his mind. Why? It was the only word that remotely described how he felt at that exact moment.
"Oh newbie Why would you go and do something like that to yourself?" he whispered questioningly. "God, I hate that kid, trying to leave us behind in this eternal hell. When he gets here, I swear I'll chew his ass out." Suddenly there was a knock at the door, causing the doctor to yelp uncharacteristically. "Come in" he called out after he cleared his throat. Carla flung the door open, a very distressed newbie at her side.
"He's all yours, Perry." she said before turning to J.D. and saying soothingly "It's ok Bambi, Dr. Cox is going to take good care of you." she ran her hand through his hair and patted his head gently. She made eye contact with Dr. Cox again. "Just call if you need anything." and added silently 'Watch Him'. And with that she was gone.
"Newbie" J.D.'s head shot up at the sound of Dr. Cox's voice. "Take a seat." the co-chief resident did as he was told, his blue eyes glued to the floor. Dr. Cox began pacing again his face blank. Finally he said "What the HELL were you thinking, Carol? I mean my GAWD. Did you re-heal-ly think slitting your wrists would solve your problems? I mean COME ON, newbie. I know you're smarter than that!" he stopped directly in front of the young doctor who still wasn't making eye contact. "Geez Carrie, why in God's name would you do something like that? Can you at least give that? What could possibly be so terrible that you have to go all suicidal on us?" J.D opened his mouth to answer but shut it again. Dr. Cox rolled his eyes and tapped his foot in an annoyed fashion. "Come on Newbie, give me an answer!"
J.D. shifted uncomfortably.
"Because." is all he could say. Dr. Cox sighed angrily.
"Because why? Honestly Cheryl, that's no answer! What's the real reason? I swear, is it because you think that no one cares about you, because I assure you, there is a hospital full of DAMN good people who care about your well being!"
J.D. shook his head.
"Not the person who's opinion matters most to me." he said in a near whisper. Dr. Cox folded his arms and stared at the young resident with a raised eyebrow.
"And who might that be, Shannon, one of your lesbian crushes?" J.D. shook his head again. After a moment, he slowly raised his head and made eye contact with the older resident.
"No, Dr. Cox, its you." his voice wavered slightly and the Dr. Cox figured that the tears were probably not far off."
The words that passed J.D.'s lips stunned the older doctor and left him speechless. It felt like ages before the co-chief resident spoke again.
"I mean, I've idolized you ever since I started at Sacred Heart and although you hated the thought, you were like my mentor. It just never seemed like you gave a damn about me."
Wow that hit home. Sudden guilt washed over Dr. Cox and realization clicked. He was the reason for J.D.s suicide attempt.
"Damn, newbie -" a pause. "I care about you. Who wouldn't? I mean, seriously, you're a likable kid." J.D. sat up straight and cocked his head like a confused little puppy. His brow furrowed slightly.
"You're just saying that."
Dr. Cox gazed into those pale blue eyes for the longest time, tuning into each and every emotion the young man was feeling at that moment; confusion, disbelief, denial, etc
"I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it, J.D." the young residents eyes widened and a slight smile crept onto his face. He couldn't believe this was Dr. Cox speaking to him in such a caring manner. He called me by name.
Dr. Cox sighed and plopped down on the couch next to J.D., folding his hand in his lap and shifted uncomfortably, as if he were contemplating something. Minutes passed before he spoke again.
"Do you want a hug." he asked quietly. J.D. gasped in surprise. He stared at Dr. Cox in disbelief.
The older resident rolled his eyes again.
" If I were you, I'd take the offer, newbie. This is a once in a lifetime chance."
J.D. nodded and leaned in. Dr. Cox wrapped his arms around him and pulled him close. My god, he's warm. J.D. shook slightly and it took the older man a minute to realize that he was crying.
"Everything alright newbie?" Dr. Cox said in a soft voice that J.D. rarely ever heard, except when there was an extremely tender moment like this particular one.
"Thank you." J.D. sobbed and buried his face into Dr. Cox's shirt.
xXxXxX
They continued their embrace for another 15 minutes and finally J.D.s sobs ceased. He lifted his head and rubbed his wet and puffy eyes. He sniffed, smiled, and in a very friendly and partially raw voice, said "I'm tired."
Dr. Cox ran his hand through J.D.s hair and nodded. He stood up and went into his room. J.D. sat there, feeling better than he had an hour ago. He wiggled out of his jeans so he was wearing only a t-shirt and his heart boxers. Dr. Cox returned with pillows and blankets. He sat back on the couch.
"Cover up, newbie." he said simply and rested his head on the back of the couch only to stir when he felt something on his lap. His blue eyes gazed down to see J.D. laying his head on his thigh.
"You don't mind, do you Dr. Cox?" J.D. yawned and fidgeted slightly.
"Not at all newbie." he sighed "You won't kill yourself tonight, will you?"
J.D. stared up at Dr. Cox, the light in his crystal eyes dancing, as he grinned.
"Not on your watch."