Disclaimer: I don't own The Outsiders. :)
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I woke up this morning with a headache. I didn't know if it was from the fact that I was feeling sick all week or just the fact that I was being drafted into the war. Yesterday when Darry came home from work he brought the mail with him and it just so happens something came for me. When I opened the letter I read it over 5 or 6 times letting it wash me over. I couldn't believe that I going to leave Tulsa to go to some place where I didn't even want to think about.
I still hadn't told Ponyboy about it all yet. I don't have the heart to tell him I'm leaving, he's already lost two important people. I wasn't looking forward to him possibly losing another person he loved so much. Its only been a day, but it feels like its been months. I wish it could be all over and I wouldn't have to worry about anything. But we can't always get what we wish for.
I decided that I would tell Ponyboy that I was leaving when he got home from school. I didn't know how he would react and I wasn't really looking forward to it. But by the time the door knob moved and the door swung open, I knew it was time. I told Ponyboy to take a seat on the couch and I went and got the letter. The letter that held my possible future. I took a seat next to him and slowly placed the letter in the palm of his hand. "Whats this?"
"Don't ask any questions. Just read," I replied. I watched the look on his face and he slowly moved his focus onto the paper. I never moved my focus from his face. I knew he must of been reading the letter over again like I had because it took him some time to read it. Still watching his face, he turned towards me and asked, "Is this true?"
"I wouldn't joke about something like this," I said. Who would really joke about going off to war? Certainly not me. Even though I'm not a very serious person. The tears began to well up in my eyes and I had to turn my focus onto the floor. By the time I could look back up I seen Ponyboy's face turn pale white and the tears slowly ran down his cheeks. He jumped up from where he was sitting and ran for our room. He never stopped or looked to turn back. He just ran. I didn't know if I should run after him so I just sat there. I don't know how long I was sitting there, it could of been hours for all I knew. But I knew it was a while because Darry walked the door after a while.
Darry already knew about me getting drafted off to war. I don't think he was so thrilled about the whole idea either. Money was an issue, but maybe losing his brother was what was bothering him so much. "Where's Ponyboy?" Darry asked as he took off his jacket and placed it on the back of his arm chair.
"I told him, about you know, the war, and he just ran into our room. He's been in there for hours now." The words came out in briefs sobs as I got up from where I was sitting. I thought it would be a good idea to go and try to talk to Ponyboy. Darry offered to try, but I thought it was best if I did it, considering it was about me. I put my hand up to knock, hesitated, then found the strength to knock on the wooden frame. I checked to make sure the door wasn't locked, it wasn't. Ponyboy didn't answer so I took it upon myself to go in.
I sat on the bed next to him and put my arm around his shoulder. I couldn't look him in the eyes because of the hurt and pain that was going though him. "I'm sorry," I gasped. "I have no choice."
The words came out more like mumbles, rather then real speech. Ponyboy lid down and ran his finger over his face to wipe the dry tears off. By now I was crying and I couldn't stop. I tried to be stong for Ponyboy, but I couldn't help myself. I was scared stiff and there wasn't one thing I could do about it.
Hours went by once again and eventually we both fell asleep. Ponyboy had a tight grasp on me all night which made it even harder to sleep. Just to know I was leaving this place in two days, on a Tuesday, made my nightmare a whole lot worse.
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The day came when I had all my bags packed and I was ready to go. Scratch that. I wasn't ready to go, it just looked like it. Steve and Two-Bit showed up the night before and said their goodbyes. Steve was on the verge of tears but held them in just to show us he wasn't a wimp. Two-Bit wished me goodluck but completely lost it and started bawling. Now it was Ponyboy and Darry's turn to say goodbye. They weren't looking forward to it, neither was I.
We waited outside of our house. The house that I lived my life in. The house that I might never lay my eyes on again. My heart was already broke enough, so nothing else was going to break it anymore. I tried my best to be strong. But my weakness took over. As the van came around the curb Darry walked towards me and hugged me tightly, "I'll see you soon, little buddy," he whispered in my ear. When he released me I had to look Ponyboy in the eyes and tell him goodbye, maybe even for the last time.
Tears ran down his cheeks once more, and I felt the pain on my chest where he clung to me tightly for the last 2 days. I knew he didn't want me to go. It killed me to see him so torn up inside. If I didn't make it, I don't know what he'd do. I had to get through this for him. The van pulled up next to the sidewalk and I gave Ponyboy a huge hug and he clung to me tightly, hurting my bruises.
I didn't want to let go, but I had no choice. "I'll be back soon, Ponyboy. Don't you worry. I'll think about you every day," I whispered into his ears. I heard the sobs racking out of him by now and I glanced over at the van and knew it was time for me to depart. "I'll be back soon guys, I promise," I said while picking up my suitcase. "I love both of you, a lot."
I didn't have the energy to cry anymore, no matter how bad I wanted to. I jumped in the van and took a look at the east side of town that I might never see again. When the van pulled away from the sidewalk and started driving into the early morning sunrise, I knew it was time. I watched Darry put his arm around Ponyboy while Ponyboy just stood there, with a helpless, pleading look on his face. I knew that look would be the look that I would have in my dreams for how ever many days it took to get back home again.
But one things for sure, I was going to make it home.