Author's Note: On tumblr, senshiofthewild came up with an idea that was so wild I had to do at least a quick write-up. To further encourage me, Private Fire offered to do her own take on the same concept to make sure that all the good ideas were implemented somewhere, and then we'd both post our stories at once and see how crazy things got. Be sure to check out her story, too! Enjoy! Or just wonder what I did with my sanity!
Schooltime Shipping 2: Ship Harder
Things were boppin' at the Golden Dragon Dance. The chibi-students were bouncing on their feet to the sound of 'The Vaguely East Asian Fantasyland Boogie.' The chibi-chaperones were tapping their feet and keeping an eye out for chibi-grinding or spiking the chibi-punch. And above them all, the chibi-stars twinkled, glistening like uniform five-pointed magic spirits even though they were really the cold light of distant suns that had burned out ages ago.
It was a really groovy dance.
Except Chibi-Aang, Chibi-Jet, and Chibi-Zuko were not feeling very groovy at all.
They watched as Chibi-Katara danced with the Blue Chibi-Spirit, so mad that stormclouds were gathering above their heads in a roiling stormfront.
"I can't believe that Katara picked the Blue Spirit as her date," Chibi-Aang moaned. "Whoever he is."
Chibi-Zuko snorted fire. "I don't understand what she sees in that guy. Whoever he is."
Chibi-Jet coolly blew some of the stormclouds away from his artfully ridiculous hair and leaned awesomely on the buffet table. "I bet he's just a big dork under that mask. Whoever he is."
Chibi-Azula climbed up over the buffet table to perch behind the jealous trio, and poked the stormcloud with a finger. It electrified instantly, and let loose with chibi-bolts of lightning that said, "ZAP, yo," and fried the boys crispy.
While they blinked through the smoke wafting off their charred forms, Chibi-Azula hopped down and strutted in front of them. "Jealous little boys, sitting on the sidelines and whining. Men would do something about a romantic rival, but you cower by the buffet table like little tots."
Chibi-Aang dusted himself off. "Of course we're little. This is a superdeformed cartoon short. No one is tall!"
Chibi-Jet pretended that he wasn't covered in ash and struck a cool pose. "Strictly speaking, we're in a prose fan-produced sequel story to a superdeformed cartoon short."
"Shut up," Chibi-Zuko growled. "I'm angry and I hate being referred to as immature. Even though this is probably a bad idea, I'm short-sighted enough to do what my evil, evil little sister says."
"Yay!" Chibi-Azula hopped up and down, clapping. "I love causing trouble!"
Chibi-Aang narrowed his eyes at this display, starting to get a bad feeling but not quite able to figure out precisely what the problem would be with following Chibi-Azula's advice. "Why are you helping us, anyway? Aren't you usually doing something with your friends?"
She ceased her celebrations and huffed a sigh. "Mai doesn't do dances, and Ty Lee is making out with Haru in the corner. I already told on her to a teacher." She watched with a grin as Chibi-Combustion Man, the philosophy professor, looked over to where Chibi-Ty Lee and Chibi-Haru were sucking each other's faces off. He snorted and shot a laser line of heat between them that exploded and blew up them up into the sky. "Heh," Chibi-Azula laughed.
Sashaying in time to the music, Chibi-Jet stepped out into the center of the little gathering and smirked at the others. "Sounds like we have a conspiracy. Let's show this Blue Spirit what happens when he messes with our girl."
Chibi-Azula grinned, Chibi-Zuko growled, and Chibi-Aang frowned.
Chibi-Katara had never danced so much in her chibi-life! With her amazing date, the Blue Chibi-Spirit, she had done the Chibi-Trot, the Chibi-Salsa, and the Chibi-Twist. They had chibi-bounced to a club beat and chibi-moonwalked to a jazzy number. They even did a chibi-waltz, when they were sure no one was looking.
And the Blue Chibi-Spirit turned out to be an amazing dancer! He twirled Chibi-Katara and dipped her, carried her and flipped her, bounced lightly on his feet as though wearing slippers. The Blue Chibi-Spirit had a natural rhythm, moved as though programmed with a dancing algorithm, and Chibi-Katara felt privileged to boogie with him. She was the star of the ball, the focus of all! As Chibi-Katara and the Blue Chibi-Spirit danced, all the other chibi-students turned to stare, entranced.
And the fact that it all rhymed made it even better!
The spotlight fell on Chibi-Katara and the Blue Chibi-Spirit, and they stopped to see Principle Chibi-Roku standing up on the stage. He said, "I think we have our King and Queen of the Dance! We usually vote on it, but that would just happen off-screen anyway, so let's jump ahead to the good part!" Everyone chibi-cheered and formed a path to the stage.
Katara squealed and hopped in delight. She looked to the Blue Chibi-Spirit, but found that he was standing still, masked face turned away from the stage. "What's wrong?"
The Blue Chibi-Spirit tilted his head from side to side.
Chibi-Katara immediately understood. "You're shy? But it's okay; I'll be up there with you!"
The Blue Chibi-Spirit squared his shoulders in obvious acceptance. Chibi-Katara smiled, grabbed his hand, and led him up to the stage.
The Chibi-Flameos played a march as the couple made their way to the front. Unfortunately, the stage proved to be too high for Chibi-Katara to climb, but the Blue Chibi-Spirit gallantly produced a set of wooden stairs made in Chibi-Piandao's shop class that she could easily climb. Such a gentlemanly gesture! Chibi-Katara was grinning from ear to ear as she took her place on the stage and a sparkling tiara was placed on her head. She gazed out over the applauding chibi-students and leaned against her wonderful date.
It was a dream, come true!
Then, as if slow motion, she saw everyone's faces slowly shift to looks of horror. They all raised arms to point at her- no, somewhere above her.
Chibi-Katara looked up in time to see Chibi-Jet swing overhead on a rope attached to nothing and overturn a bucket. She hopped back reflexively, and so the contents splattered on the Blue Chibi-Spirit, dark and viscous liquid slopping all over his mask and cute ninja suit with a sickly squelching sound. The Blue Chibi-Spirit was left standing awkwardly, frozen in what could have been surprise or horror or grossed-out discomfort.
Chibi-Katara's moment was ruined, her kind date had been humiliated, and the thick liquid was giving her a growing sense of horror.
It smelled like-
-like-
-like-
-like-
-maple syrup?
Then Chibi-Zuko ran up to the stage, hopped up next to the Blue-Chibi Spirit, and emptied a bag of feathers all over the masked marvel before running off again.
The Blue Chibi-Spirit stood there like a short, fat chicken.
Tears welled up in Chibi-Katara's massive eyes over this horrible treatment.
Then Chibi-Aang flew by on his glider and came in for a landing on the stage. "Watch out! Azula and the other boys have a plan to syrup'and'feather the Blue Spirit!" The universe answered that with the silence it so richly deserved, and only then did he notice noticed what was going on. "Oh, I'm too late, huh? Sorry." He used his staff to vault himself into a stage dive and was carried away by the crowd.
Chibi-Katara blinked away her tears. "So much for my dancing dreams." She sniffled once as violins played from somewhere and sad purple clouds zipped over to cover the moon, lending a mournful tint to the whole scene. Rather than stay and enjoy the universal mourning, though, she grabbed the Blue Chibi-Spirit's sticky, feathered hand. "Come on, let's get you cleaned up. Stupid jealous bullies!"
It was then that masked marvel said, "Meh, I'll just change right here." As Chibi-Katara blinked in surprise, the Blue Chibi-Spirit unzipped his outfit to reveal a full set of red and black robes beneath. He carefully stepped out of the messy outer clothes and threw them away. Then he took off his mask to reveal a pale face beneath an odango-arrangement of shiny black hair, with a common band-aid worn across his- no, her- nose.
He was a She!
She was Chibi-Mai!
The crowd gasped at the sudden drama as the clouds above disintegrated and the moon shone again to put a spotlight on the couple.
(Chibi-Yue smirked, but Chibi-Suki rolled her eyes and said, "Show-off.)
Chibi-Katara could only squeak, "Wh- wh- wha- what?!"
Chibi-Mai blushed. "Um, hi?"
While Chibi-Katara stood there in mute silence, the stage was suddenly crowded by people who thought that they were part of this moment.
Chibi-Azula scrambled up and hissed, "Mai, what is the meaning of this?"
Chibi-Jet swung back, landed gracefully in a pose, and crooned, "If I knew you were a chick, I wouldn't have humiliated you like that. I'd have just lied to you and manipulated you."
Zuko flew up on fire rockets and screeched, "Mai?! But I thought you were my girlfriend when I care enough to remember that you're my girlfriend and not just some tree I can ignore!"
Chibi-Mai immediately lost her blush. "Hello, jerks."
"But you always help me torment Katara," said Chibi-Azula.
Chibi-Mai shrugged. "It turns out helping you bully her was how I was acting on my subconscious lust for her. And she looks really hot after she's been electrocuted."
Chibi-Katara gasped.
"But you can't be the Blue Spirit. I've seen you two in the same classroom," said Chibi-Jet.
Chibi-Mai smirked. "Yeah, we used to be two separate people. Then I clubbed him in the back of his head, stole his costume, and left the Cabbage Merchant in a closet somewhere."
Chibi-Katara gasped.
"But I don't understand any of this," said Chibi-Zuko. "Not that I understand most of what goes on around me anyway."
Chibi-Mai scowled. "You abandoned me to chase after Katara! I was so mad at both of you that I wanted revenge! So I stole the Blue Spirit outfit and schemed to ask Katara to the dance and deny you your Water Tribe tail, forevermore!" She looked over to Chibi-Katara, and her expression softened across her massive chibi-face. "But then she was so sweet, and we had so much fun dancing together. Then we were picked as the King and Queen of the dance, and everything was so perfect. Then Katara supported me when I was shy about coming up here, and she was so nice. Then you all threw syrup and feathers at me and Katara just focused on helping me get clean, and I fell so in love with her!"
Chibi-Mai fell to one knee, took Chibi-Katara's hand, and said, "I'm sorry for everything, and I love you, Katara!"
Chibi-Katara's head had been spinning through the whole convoluted attempt at justifying a Maitara ship, but that final declaration pierced her defenses and let love and affection flow through her heart. She saw the admiration and vulnerability in Chibi-Mai's eyes (any emotion was hard to miss in giant chibi-eyes) and realized that for all their troubled history, Chibi-Mai was cool and mysterious and a great dancer and some kind of romantic mastermind.
Chibi-Katara pulled Chibi-Mai into her arms and kissed her. "I love you, too!"
The crowd cheered!
Chibi-Maitara accomplished!
The Chibi-Flameos struck up the music again, Chibi-Roku leaned over to put new crowns on the couple's heads, and Chibi-Zhao the truant officer dragged Chibi-Azula, Chibi-Jet, and Chibi-Zuko away to be punished for their shenanigans.
Chibi-Aang stood at the back of the dance, forgotten by everyone, and blinked. "Why do these things always end so strangely?"
END