Disclaimer: If words were pennies I'd be rich. I'm not, and the characters aren't mine either.
Setting: Marauder's era, third year.
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A fine yellowish mist had dispersed round the castle, it smelt a little bit like old socks mixed up with lemons, and no one knew where it had come from. It wasn't stronger in any one place so it couldn't be tracked that way, nor did any of the revealing spells done by irritated teachers and curious students alike lead the way back to the cause.
In fact in the whole of the castle there were only four people who knew where it had come from and, much more interestingly, what it meant. Two of these were James Potter and Sirius Black, and they were in the process of racing to the source of the mysterious mist. Oddly enough they were missing their usual companions and fellow conspirators Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew, this was because the former was in the hospital wing following the full moon and the latter was in detention having been caught in the kitchens for the fourth night in a row.
So James and Sirius ran down corridors and up stairs till they, out of breath, reached a painting of a fox. James muttered a password at it and the fox yawned and curled up in the corner of the painting allowing the pair to scramble through the revealed blot hole.
"Merlin's beard!"
"I think..." James coughed several times, "I think something's gone a little wrong."
"Really?"
The room was filled with the mist, which now looked more like smoke especially since it was boiling out of a cauldron.
"Finite Incantatem" spluttered Sirius, in the vague hopes that the spell would stop the carefully prepared solution from emitting its foul odour. Sadly the spell had the opposite effect and both boys were nearly overpowered by the wave of old sock smell that wafted out of the door.
"Let's just get rid of the thing." gasped James, as he waved his wand and the cauldron vanished leaving its smoke behind.
"Good call."
Flicking his wand again James thinned the mist just enough so he could make out Sirius slumped against the wall.
"Well Prongs, I guess Snivellus won't be turning completely red any time soon."
"Heh."
"What went wrong anyway? And why the hell does this mist smell like old socks?" Sirius waved his arms to try to clear the smoke a little more.
"Merlin knows. Let's just get out of here before someone notices we're missing and slaps us with detention again."
"You mean Minnie don't you?" Sirius dragged himself up and taking James by the shoulder they stumbled out into the slightly clearer air. "I really think she's a little hard on us y'know."
"Well maybe if you hadn't cursed all her textbooks blank she wouldn't give us so many detentions." James said blandly.
Sirius laughed and leant against the wall to catch his breath. Noticing his best friend wasn't joining in the laughter he decided to broach a subject that had been bothering him.
"James?"
"What?"
"Are you okay mate? I mean you've been a little quiet lately, and when I say a little I mean you don't seem disappointed about this little accident which means the greasy git will have to stay the same boring colour." Sirius indicated the mist still clinging to the castle walls.
"It's just..." James started down the stairs, not wanting to look Sirius in the eye, "I think I need to stop with the pranks."
"Stop...with the...pranks?" Sirius slowly followed his friend a confused expression plastered to his handsome face, "What?"
"It's Lily Evans. I don't think she appreciates them, and well..." James looked sheepishly at the guy who been his friend for the past three years, "I kinda like her."
"Wait. What? You...kinda like her. And for that you want to stop pranking? No more red Snivellus, no more vanishing quills, no more...?"
"Um. Yeah."
"That's it. You've finally lost it. I'm taking you to Pomfrey." Sirius grabbed James's arm, certain that this sudden change in the other boy's personality was down to some illness.
"What? No...argh!"
James was dragged bodily downstairs and to the infirmary where he was pushed onto the bed next to a still sore Remus whilst Sirius bellowed for Madam Pomfrey.
"James."
"Remus."
"What are you doing here?"
"I told Sirius that I wanted to give up pranking because I...I like Lily Evans." Having said it once James found that it was easier to say it again.
"Ah."
"Yeah. How are you anyway?"
"Oh. Recovering." Every since the other Gryffindor boys had found out about his condition Remus had become a lot easier about inquiries concerning his health.
"Good." James said watching Sirius knocking louder and louder on the infirmary witch's office door, "I think I'll need your help to get out of this one."
"Mr. Black I would appreciate my door staying in one piece." said Pomfrey entering the main ward from a private room for severe cases. "Now what seems to be the problem?"
"It's James." Sirius ran up to the witch and started pulling her over to where James sat with a worried expression on his face, "I think there's something seriously wrong with him."
"He looks alright to me."
"I'm fine." declared James.
"No you're not." Sirius leaned in close to Madam Pomfrey and whispered in her ear, "He doesn't want to prank people any more."
Madam Pomfrey was one of the few people the boys admitted to knowing that she knew that they were that group of pranksters: the Marauders. Since she was the one who inevitably patched them up when something went wrong with a trick or random experiment it wasn't really surprising. Plus she tended to enjoy the less dangerous pranks, and played along more often than not.
"Oh dear. Well that is serious."
"What? No don't listen to him. He's a...a..." James struggled for words as a thermometer was stuffed unceremoniously into his mouth.
"No talking Mr. Potter."
"I wouldn't James, that thermometer screams really loud if you try to." Remus advised from his bed.
"Oh, hey Remus how you doing?" Sirius belatedly asked.
"Fine, fine."
"Hmm." said Pomfrey examining the thermometer as James sulked on the bed, "Well his temperature's fine."
"But there is something wrong with him, right?"
"I'm sure there is. It's not like Mr. Potter here to want to stop filling halls with mist that smells like old socks." said the witch running diagnostic spells on the unfortunate boy, "Why does it smell like old socks by the way?"
"We don't know." sulked James.
"At least it was a fairly easy potion. And I wrote down the recipe." said Remus,
"You would." Sirius had started hopping from one foot to the other in anticipation of the results of the tests. "So what's wrong with him? A severe case of Dragon Pox? A swelling of the brain? He can't just want to...give it up."
"I don't just want to give it up!" James exclaimed, "Lily Evans is not an excuse Sirius Orion Black. She really doesn't like the pranks we pull and I want to...to..."
"You want to attract her attention in a positive way." Remus as James floundered for words,
"Yes! Yes, that's it."
"Well, Mr. Potter have you considered that maybe if you chose better targets, and performed less dangerous, maybe even useful pranks, Miss Evans might notice some of your...better qualities."
"She's right y'know." interjected Remus.
Silence reigned in the infirmary as James considered the possibility of not having to give up an amusing pastime and still being able to attract the girl of his dreams' attention. Sirius fidgeted from his seat on the corner of Remus's bed as Madam Pomfrey checked up on her real patient. Unable to contain himself any longer he turned to his wounded friend.
"Does this mean he won't be giving up pranks?" Sirius asked hopefully, "Cause I've got a really good idea..."
"Okay." James said slowly, and speared the other two Marauders with a slightly delusional stare, "I think it's time for Operation Lily."
As the others shared slightly concerned looks James got up and started pacing across the infirmary floor.
"The object of our mission is thus: get Lily Evans to say yes to going out with yours truly. The means with which we shall attain our goal: firstly prank anyone who is mean to her, secondly perform kinds acts such as giving her flowers on her birthday, hmm must find out when her birthday is, what else do girls like. We shall find out. Comrades, we have an objective and we shall fulfil our mission objective with the greatest of dexterity and..."
"Is it just me or is he a little scary when he does this?" Sirius quietly asked the still abed boy.
"It's not just you. He is a little scary." Remus shook his head, "How on earth he thinks Lily Evans is ever going to say yes to that..."
James was still expounded as he wore a trench in the floor, waving his hands in the air as he outlined each point.
"Mr. Lupin I think I'm going to let you out of the ward now. You can go back to your dormitory." Madam Pomfrey said, not taking her eyes off James as he made his way back and forth.
"You just want him out of here." Sirius pointed out, indicating James.
"Yes, Mr. Black, I do." Madam Pomfrey said, "Take him away. Please."
Hurriedly dressing Remus grabbed one of the gesticulating boy's arms, Sirius took the other and together they pulled James out of the infirmary and up the stairs to Gryffindor tower. Remus had to shout the password to the Fat Lady portrait before she would swing forward to allow them access to the common room, which was thankfully empty save for the fourth Marauder and the rag-tag remnants of the sock smelling mist.
"Ahha. Peter, I must tell you of our new Mission!"
The look of fear that passed across the small boy's face was enough for Remus and Sirius to take real action against their friend. Tackling him, they forced him to the ground in a flailing group of limbs. Many bruises and yells later James was securely pinned to the floor; Remus holding his arms above his head, and Sirius and Peter each securing a leg. Sadly this left no one to do anything against the continuing rant emerging from James's mouth, which now included questions concerning the honour and parentage of his friends.
"Can't we shut him up?" Remus yelled, "Anyone still got their wand?"
Two negatives later a plan was devised. A sock from Peter was unceremoniously handed to Remus, being closest to James's head, and stuffed into the open mouth. The rant gagged the three boys heaved a sigh of relief.
"If you promise to shut up we'll take out the sock." suggested Sirius.
"Mffph!"
"Was that a yes?"
"I think so."
"Alright Remus. Take out the sock."
"Thank you. Whose was that? Blargh." James stuck out his tongue wishing for soap.
"Are you going to start ranting again?" asked Remus nervously, yet ready with the sock.
"No. But..."
"Stop him!"
"Wait!" James said hurriedly seeing the sock descending, "I was just going to say that Peter needs to be told the plan."
"I got the gist of it: Don't prank Lily Evans because you want to go out with her."
"Oh. Then could you let me up?"
Letting him up the boys sat down in their favourite seats by the fireplace which was filled with eddies of the mysterious mist.
"Y'know we still don't know what went wrong with that potion." said James after a long silence.
"It went wrong? No red Snape?" sniffed Peter,
"I wouldn't say it went wrong, after all have you seen this mist?" Sirius thought that filling the castle with an unidentified mist was a still a prank even if they had no idea how it had happened.
"Which still smells like old socks" Remus interjected,
"Actually it smells more like this sock." said James holding out his temporary gag,
All heads turned to Peter who was turning a steady shade of red.
"I...I didn't mean to." he stuttered, before his three friends jumped him.
All of which might explain why one Peter Pettigrew was found the next morning hanging upside down from his ankle in the middle of the great hall his dignity hidden by nothing except socks.
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