**Hey this is just some random short story I wrote in algebra. Please R&R
for another chapter…no flames please.**
Chapter 1
"NO! NO! I'll be a good elf! I promise! Just don't put me in there! I'll do anything!" Legolas cried. He was kneeling down in front of the dark Lord Saruman.
"Anything, eh? Will you finally take me up on my offer?" Saruman asked with seductive look in his eyes.
"Uh… no. ANYTHING, except that!" Legolas wailed again.
"Well in that case… no, you're still going in." Saruman told him.
"Nooo!"
Legolas pleaded with the dark Lord over and over again. Trying to get out of going in. He would be going into the worst place imaginable… the 'Fangirl Coliseum' ::dun dun dun:: (~~ scary/evil music).
It was an evil place for anyone of the fangirl obsessions to be. Anyone who entered the arena, always came out a changed man, they were traumatized and always scarred for life. They lived out the rest of their lives brain dead, drooling and mumbling incoherently to themselves.
No one knew what happened once they were inside… and now Legolas stood in a line of men. The line that led into the arena… and he was 5th. He listened in horror as he heard the screams coming through the huge wooden door. In front of him was Justin Timberlake from the 'late' N sync. The human turned around to look at Legolas.
"Hey man! Wassup? What you here fo'?" He asked in a wannabe ghetto voice.
Legolas look at him confused. After running the words through his head a couple of times, he finally figured out what the human was asking him. "Well I do believe it's the same reason as you."
"Ah man, daz kool. Woah, waz zup wit yo ears man?" He asked.
"I am an elf, my ears are supposed to be like this." Legolas said as calmly as he could.
"Ah! You one of them Santa's homees!" Exclaimed Justin, "Daz awezom!"
Legolas glared at him, 2 seconds later he had one of his daggers at the human's throat. "I'm not one of Santa's fucking elves. I'm a elf from Mirkwood in Middle-Earth."
"Ah ah ah! Chill man, geeze. Wait, youz say you from dat movie? I thought dat wazn't real man!" Justin said excitedly.
Just then the doors were opened and the next in line was shoved in. Heath Ledger screamed in horror when he was dragged into the arena by rabid fangirls… now Legolas was 4th.
"Saruman please. I don't want to go in there!" Legolas began pleading again.
"Woah man. Youz from dat movie too!" He said pointing at Saruman.
"Quite you incompetent human!" Saruman placed a silence spell on the annoying human. Then he turned to Legolas with a pleased look in his eye. "Now, where were we?"
"You were just about to let me return to Middle-Earth and end this madness…" Legolas told him.
"No I was not. Legolas you have to go in. You've been a danger to Middle- Earth for centuries. You were always attracting crazy fangirls in search of your love. They kept popping up everywhere! They ruined the whole balance of Middle-Earth by being there. Trust me when I say that I'm doing everyone a great big favor when I get rid of you!" Saruman told him.
"No! Then exile me out of Middle-Earth. I don't care. Make me serve people on earth. Make me a slave or anything! Just not this!" Legolas pleaded once more.
A thoughtful look crossed Saruman's face. "Hmm… being a slave wouldn't be such a bad idea…"
"What? I was kidding…"
"Come." Saruman said. He dragged Legolas away from the Coliseum and took him to a grocery store. He bought a bottle of Budweiser beer. He handed it to Legolas and ordered him to drink it down.
Legolas grabbed the beer and drank it down in 5 huge gulps. The fangirls always starved their victims so they were weaker, so Legolas hadn't had anything to eat or drink in over a week.
Once the beer was gone, Saruman grabbed the bottle and advanced on Legolas. "A slave you will be… the elf in the bottle! A genie for the female population. THEIR SLAVE!"
"NOOOOO!" Legolas screamed. He saw Saruman mutter a spell of some sort and Legolas could feel his body shrinking. His voice became tiny and squeakier as he got smaller. Pretty soon, he was only an inch tall. Saruman picked up the tiny Legolas, who was running around the store floor like a maniac. His tiny voice screamed out at him, "You fucking prick! You made me too damn small. Damn you!!! Damn you!! (A/N: Sorry Tiffany) I'm a fucking peanut!"
"Muahahah!" Saruman laughed. "You are now to be a Genie-Elf. You will grant 3 wishes to any female you meet. You cannot grant any males wishes, only females."
Legolas started to cry. "Why? This is worse than facing the fucking fangirls in the Fangirl Coliseum ::dun dun dun::"
"LIVE WITH IT! FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!" Saruman bellowed.
"Eww…" Legolas winced and almost heaved when Sarumans breath blew in his face. "You need a Tic-Tac." He said, he reached into his tunic and brought out a tiny Tic-Tac container. He placed a microscopic Tic-Tac in the palm of the dark Lords hand. "There you go."
"Mmmm… thank you."
"No problem."
"Now, into the bottle you go." Saruman said sweetly. He dropped the tiny Legolas into the beer bottle.
"Nooo!" Legolas screamed.
Saruman placed a cork into the opening of the bottle and kicked it into another dimension…
"STOP THE MADNESS!" Legolas screamed as he sailed through the air.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Review for another chapter… PLEASE R&R!
Chapter 1
"NO! NO! I'll be a good elf! I promise! Just don't put me in there! I'll do anything!" Legolas cried. He was kneeling down in front of the dark Lord Saruman.
"Anything, eh? Will you finally take me up on my offer?" Saruman asked with seductive look in his eyes.
"Uh… no. ANYTHING, except that!" Legolas wailed again.
"Well in that case… no, you're still going in." Saruman told him.
"Nooo!"
Legolas pleaded with the dark Lord over and over again. Trying to get out of going in. He would be going into the worst place imaginable… the 'Fangirl Coliseum' ::dun dun dun:: (~~ scary/evil music).
It was an evil place for anyone of the fangirl obsessions to be. Anyone who entered the arena, always came out a changed man, they were traumatized and always scarred for life. They lived out the rest of their lives brain dead, drooling and mumbling incoherently to themselves.
No one knew what happened once they were inside… and now Legolas stood in a line of men. The line that led into the arena… and he was 5th. He listened in horror as he heard the screams coming through the huge wooden door. In front of him was Justin Timberlake from the 'late' N sync. The human turned around to look at Legolas.
"Hey man! Wassup? What you here fo'?" He asked in a wannabe ghetto voice.
Legolas look at him confused. After running the words through his head a couple of times, he finally figured out what the human was asking him. "Well I do believe it's the same reason as you."
"Ah man, daz kool. Woah, waz zup wit yo ears man?" He asked.
"I am an elf, my ears are supposed to be like this." Legolas said as calmly as he could.
"Ah! You one of them Santa's homees!" Exclaimed Justin, "Daz awezom!"
Legolas glared at him, 2 seconds later he had one of his daggers at the human's throat. "I'm not one of Santa's fucking elves. I'm a elf from Mirkwood in Middle-Earth."
"Ah ah ah! Chill man, geeze. Wait, youz say you from dat movie? I thought dat wazn't real man!" Justin said excitedly.
Just then the doors were opened and the next in line was shoved in. Heath Ledger screamed in horror when he was dragged into the arena by rabid fangirls… now Legolas was 4th.
"Saruman please. I don't want to go in there!" Legolas began pleading again.
"Woah man. Youz from dat movie too!" He said pointing at Saruman.
"Quite you incompetent human!" Saruman placed a silence spell on the annoying human. Then he turned to Legolas with a pleased look in his eye. "Now, where were we?"
"You were just about to let me return to Middle-Earth and end this madness…" Legolas told him.
"No I was not. Legolas you have to go in. You've been a danger to Middle- Earth for centuries. You were always attracting crazy fangirls in search of your love. They kept popping up everywhere! They ruined the whole balance of Middle-Earth by being there. Trust me when I say that I'm doing everyone a great big favor when I get rid of you!" Saruman told him.
"No! Then exile me out of Middle-Earth. I don't care. Make me serve people on earth. Make me a slave or anything! Just not this!" Legolas pleaded once more.
A thoughtful look crossed Saruman's face. "Hmm… being a slave wouldn't be such a bad idea…"
"What? I was kidding…"
"Come." Saruman said. He dragged Legolas away from the Coliseum and took him to a grocery store. He bought a bottle of Budweiser beer. He handed it to Legolas and ordered him to drink it down.
Legolas grabbed the beer and drank it down in 5 huge gulps. The fangirls always starved their victims so they were weaker, so Legolas hadn't had anything to eat or drink in over a week.
Once the beer was gone, Saruman grabbed the bottle and advanced on Legolas. "A slave you will be… the elf in the bottle! A genie for the female population. THEIR SLAVE!"
"NOOOOO!" Legolas screamed. He saw Saruman mutter a spell of some sort and Legolas could feel his body shrinking. His voice became tiny and squeakier as he got smaller. Pretty soon, he was only an inch tall. Saruman picked up the tiny Legolas, who was running around the store floor like a maniac. His tiny voice screamed out at him, "You fucking prick! You made me too damn small. Damn you!!! Damn you!! (A/N: Sorry Tiffany) I'm a fucking peanut!"
"Muahahah!" Saruman laughed. "You are now to be a Genie-Elf. You will grant 3 wishes to any female you meet. You cannot grant any males wishes, only females."
Legolas started to cry. "Why? This is worse than facing the fucking fangirls in the Fangirl Coliseum ::dun dun dun::"
"LIVE WITH IT! FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!" Saruman bellowed.
"Eww…" Legolas winced and almost heaved when Sarumans breath blew in his face. "You need a Tic-Tac." He said, he reached into his tunic and brought out a tiny Tic-Tac container. He placed a microscopic Tic-Tac in the palm of the dark Lords hand. "There you go."
"Mmmm… thank you."
"No problem."
"Now, into the bottle you go." Saruman said sweetly. He dropped the tiny Legolas into the beer bottle.
"Nooo!" Legolas screamed.
Saruman placed a cork into the opening of the bottle and kicked it into another dimension…
"STOP THE MADNESS!" Legolas screamed as he sailed through the air.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Review for another chapter… PLEASE R&R!