A/N- my first Free story, let me know what you think. does not allow lyrics in the text but please note story originally contained some lyrics/was inspired by Christina Perri's Arms. Enjoy

Arms

Haruka watched the black waves crash onto the beach and clutched his drink closer, the air was still humid being the Australian summer but he couldn't help but let out a shiver. Rin had invited all of Iwatobi Swim club and some of his old friends from Samezuka Academy to Sydney to celebrate Christmas. Haru was bemused by the whole holiday, which although he understood to be religious, mostly seemed to consist of drinking alcohol on a beach in this country. He'd been warned it would take place on a beach and had assumed there would be swimming involved. Unfortunately his swimsuit remained dry and unused underneath his jeans.

He had been craving the water for the last couple of days but packing and flying had stolen his time away and he'd not been able to. He sighed and watched his old friends. Nobody seemed to have changed much. Nagisa was really excited to be in a new country and was animatedly conversing with some Australian friends; Rei admiring the beauty of the ocean beside him. Sousuke and Natori seemed stuck to Rin having evidently missed their red-haired friend. Momo was jabbering at Gou even though she seemed more enamoured with the many other shirtless men on the beach. And of course, Makoto was sat beside Haru on a set of stone steps far away from the festivities.

Both boys had remained joined at the hip at college in Tokyo and if anything their friendship had grown stronger but right now Haru wished Makoto was anywhere but sat beside him. Makoto had always been there for him and nothing changed when they left school. Their new friends soon accepted that they came as a package and although many were more drawn to Makoto's charming and humble personality, most got used to Haru's ways and enjoyed having him as part of the group. With all these changes in their life and still not too far away from their fight in their last year at school, both had a renewed sense of how much they meant to each other and how horrible it would be to be apart.

However, Haru had been rather discomfited to find out that friendships like theirs weren't the norm with most boys and many people they met commented on just how close they were. Though this didn't bother Haru at first, Makoto would always blush and stammer something about how swimming team mates had to be close and would explain about the friends they had back home. Haru didn't see how it concerned anyone else anyway. Until, one night one of their friends invited their girlfriend over to stay. Quite a few people had long-distance relationships and this wasn't a strange occurrence. As they usually did when someone came to visit, they went out for dinner in Tokyo. Makoto did his best to welcome the girl as he normally did with newcomers and soon they were chatting out of nowhere she gushed.

'Mako-chan, I just have to say that you and Haruka are an adorable couple.' The table froze. Haru's eyes widened and he felt Makoto tense beside him.

'Midori-Chan, we're not a couple.' Makoto managed to choke out. There was an awkward silence. However she was clearly embarrassed and much laughter and teasing ensued. However, Haru's eyes were open. This is what people saw when they looked at him and Makoto and this is why it affected Makoto so much. People assumed they were together. 'Haru?' Makoto queried concernedly but Haru just took a drink. He had not realised his relationship was that unusual. And all of a sudden, he saw it differently. He noticed the way Makoto looked at him, the way he touched him, and spoke to him and always stood up for him, how when he smiled at Makoto, Makoto blushed... Was this not what normal male friendships were like? Did Makoto like Haru like that or as a friend? This new possibility was much too overwhelming for him and so he did what seemed most sensible to him and ignored it. This suited both of them and the incident was never mentioned again.

However two nights previous, Makoto threw a bomb into the peace.

They went to a party the night before they were due to fly to Australia. Haru and Makoto weren't normally huge drinkers, or partiers as they usually needed to preserve energy for their swimming but Makoto would have a few drinks if he didn't need to swim for a few days such as tonight.

They sat on a second year's couch whilst a few of their regular friends gathered around talking, drinking and joking. Haru mostly came to these parties for Makoto and would just sit there listening rather than joining in. However, he realised that tonight might just be a bit different as he watched his friend down his fourth drink in an hour. Just as he began to form a warning about travelling hungover, somebody promptly wandered over with shots and Makoto grabbed one quickly.

'You don't normally do shots' Haru muttered. Makoto turned to look at him, green eyes shining bright.

'I want to have fun tonight, Haru-chan.' He grinned before downing the shot and grimacing. Haru couldn't help but laugh, he felt that he should be disapproving but Makoto seemed to be genuinely enjoying himself so he let it be. This soon turned out to be a mistake and a couple of short hours later he had an extremely drunk best friend on his hands. At first he was merely a bit tipsy and after the first shot, all he did was pull Haru into a side hug and ruffle his hair. Haru laughed but couldn't help but notice that Makoto kept his arm around him. He chose not to say anything. The atmosphere at the party was a happy one and he didn't want to make things awkward. Besides, he somehow felt a little bit more included wrapped up in Makoto's arms.

Unfortunately, as most parties go, the drunkards slowly fell into a sleepy slurring conversation and when Makoto joined them, Haru figured it was time to go. They did have a flight to catch in the morning. He mentioned this to Makoto who nodded sadly and Haru proceeded to drag his friend home.

This was no easy matter as Makoto towered over him and seemed unable to stand on his own or walk very fast. Haru had had no experience with someone as drunk as his friend and just focussed on getting him back safely. Soon enough, they were drawing up to the brown double doors leading to the dorms and soon after that they were in Makoto's bedroom.

Haru awkwardly dropped Makoto on the bed with a thump and hovered unsure whether Makoto should be left alone or put in the recovery position or what.

'Ah, Haru-chan, stay with me.' Makoto moaned sleepily. Haru obeyed and sat cautiously on the end of the bed. Makoto wasn't having that and in a spurt of activity had pulled his friend to lie down beside him. Haru was well beyond him comfort zone at this point and could do nothing but lie there and think about how he got himself into such a strange situation. Makoto's breath was heavy on his cheek and his too-warm body was pressed firmly against his side. Unfortunately, things were only to get stranger.

'You feel nice Haru.' Makoto murmured in his ear. Haru turned confusedly to his drunken friend only to find a pair of warm lips pressed hard against his own. Makoto was kissing him. He tasted like alcohol and the kiss was very wet but still Haru couldn't help the tingling slowly moving from his lips all the way to his toes or the warmth in his chest that was coiling its way down to his stomach, down, down…No, he couldn't take this, he leapt up from the bed and ran.

The next morning as he lay in his bath, he couldn't help but panic. They had a nine-hour flight together today. What was he going to say? How was he going to be able to see Makoto? He had no idea what Makoto had meant by the kiss and he was worried his friendship was slipping down the plughole. The bathwater wasn't as soothing as it normally was and he wished heartily that he had a chance to swim and clear his head before facing his friend. But Makoto would be here soon to pick him up. And he didn't want him to come into the bathroom.

A few minutes later, Haru was completely dressed and ready to go. There was a knock at the door and he opened it to reveal a pale and surprised Makoto.

'Morning Haru.' He squeaked. Haru nodded unable to speak. They left in silence to the cab downstairs and managed to talk only when required for the whole journey. Haru hated the awkwardness but if Makoto couldn't find the right words to say, he was lost.

He was so relieved when they saw Rin waiting for them at the gate; he actually flung himself into his arms and held on tight.

Rin's eyes opened wide and he tried to catch Makoto's gaze to try and gauge their old friend's actions but Makoto stared determinedly at the floor. Slowly he placed his arms around the normally stoic boy and gave him a rough smack on the back.

'Missed me that much eh?' he grinned flashing his shark grin. Haru pulled away flashing a small smile, a slight red tinged on his cheeks. Rin turned to his travel companion.

'Makoto!' he called nodding to the other boy. Haru risked a glance at his friend and strangely saw a flicker of hurt on his face, seeing Haru watching him, his signature grin was soon back in place and he greeted Rin properly. Guilt overwhelmed Haru and he had no idea why. Still he tried to stick as close to Rin as possible to avoid thinking about it. But this just seemed to make the smile on Makoto's face harden. Rin kept glancing between the two cautiously but kept up his part of the conversation trying not to add to the tense atmosphere.

Fortunately, the evening was spent catching up with many old friends and meeting Rin's new ones and the boys were able to avoid each other to their satisfaction. If anyone else noticed the coldness between them they didn't say anything and Haru was able to forget about it briefly.

But now here they were, alone together on Christmas night. Haru had tried to retreat from the celebrations to try and work things out in his head but Makoto followed him and sat beside him ; tapping his feet nervously, as though psyching himself up to say something.

'Haru?' It seemed he had finally found the strength to speak up. Blue eyes raised themselves to Green but quickly turned away unable to hold the gaze. His heart beat fast. 'I wish you would say or do something.' Makoto sighed.

'But what?' Haru thought to himself. He didn't know what he wanted. He'd only just decided what the future held for him in terms of swimming, how was he to determine his love life already? How was he suddenly to deal with his sexuality even? There was no doubt he'd enjoyed the kiss with Makoto no matter how hard he found that to admit to himself, but did that mean he was gay? Wasn't that supposed to be a big deal, coming out? Would he have enjoyed it if he'd been kissed by a woman? This was his first romantic encounter; it was entirely possible his body reacted as any would to their first kiss.

He tried to imagine what it would have felt like if Gou had kissed him. Soft, round breasts pushed up against him instead of a hard manly chest; a small womanly figured curled cutely in his arms against being held in strong manly ones. To his surprise, he found the thought disgusted him even though he respected Gou greatly as a friend. He was definitely not attracted to women it seemed.

Was he attracted to other men though? He tried to imagine Rin kissing him this time, but the thought was comical. He very almost cracked a smile. No, he was not attracted to Rin but neither was he disgusted with the thought of Rin's body being pushed against his. He was sure this meant he was gay.

This was a little bit shocking to the boy. Despite being a teenager often surrounded by half-naked bodies, both male and female, he had so far lived a non-sexual existence and kissing never even crossed his mind. Friends and swimming had meant everything to him but maybe now was the time to explore a new side to him? He thought of Makoto and what it would mean to be in a relationship with him. Surely they were halfway there already. They spent most of their time together already, so what if they kissed or cuddled or, and Haru blushed at the thought, had sex? Maybe they'd even fall in love. Maybe Makoto was already in love.

And this was the real problem. Haru knew now for sure that he had feelings for the other boy, but why did Makoto care so deeply for him? Haru was plain, quiet and not the friendliest all the time. He struggled to put his emotions into words and sometimes felt so inferior next to his charismatic best friend who was so nice. Everybody loved Makoto; he could have anybody he wanted.

Haru's mind immediately flashed to Kisumi. Back when they were all still friends, Haru was aware that Kisumi had feelings for Makoto. Just the thought of this still made his chest burn in anger. But maybe this was jealousy. He certainly felt the same when Kisumi came back into their lives. He supposed he'd held onto these feelings for a long time. He thought once again of when they argued and how much that hurt both of them. Would this get better in a relationship or worse?

Although he didn't understand, he was certain that Makoto had these feelings too. The hurt on his face when he hugged Rin, the way he was always trying to make Makoto happy and how he always found a reason to be touching the other boy. He thought of how good it felt at the party to be in Makoto's arms.

It was clear then that they couldn't go back. Makoto had feelings for him and he had them too. They had been friends for such a long time; he began to feel confident that a relationship was the next logical step. They'd made it through all of these years; wouldn't love only make it easier? Even if it didn't, at this point it was do or die. They could try and make it work and possibly lose everything, or they could do nothing and lose everything anyway. Maybe they could have everything though. Just maybe this might turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to them both. The only problem now was how to say all of this. He wasn't great at putting his feelings into words, often relying on Makoto to just trust him.

'Haru?' Makoto pleaded. Haru looked up to see he was at the point of tears.

'Makoto…' but he could say no more. Makoto was always better at this. Makoto hung his head as if preparing to be hurt. Haru hated it but could not think of the words. So he did the only thing he could. He very tentatively reached out and touched the other boy's hand. 'Makoto' He repeated firmly. Makoto looked up cautiously and Haru willed him to read what was hiding behind his actions as he had done so many times before. Haru's heart beat fast and he could hardly dare to breathe.

Makoto smiled.

'Haru!' he exclaimed relieved and he gripped his hand tight. Haru instantly relaxed and laughed at the look on his friends face. They gazed at each other goofily for a few seconds before Makoto very gently leant forward and kissed him. The kiss was tender this time, and Haru kissed back shyly. They broke away and Haru looked away blushing. This would take some getting used to he realised. Makoto looked away too, his face flushed with happiness. He quickly untangled his hand from Haru's and pulled him into an embrace and they both sat and washed the black waves crashing on the beach.

If this is what love felt like, then maybe, just maybe, this was all going to be okay.