Disclaimer: NOT MINE NOT MINE NOT MINE NOT MINE NOT MINE NOT MINE NOT MINE NOT MINE NOT MINE NOT MINE. Get the picture?
"Take my hand, and lead me to salvation…
Take my love, for love is everlasting.
And remember the truth that once was spoken…
To love another person is to see the face of God…"
-Finale from Les Miserables.
He fell...
Not into any bright light... not into darkness. All he knew is that he was falling... floating away from the one person he had tried so to hold on to. *Harry.*
'Sirius!' Harry yelled. 'Sirius!'
It was worlds away. He could hear the voices... voices of old friends, and his godson. He could even see them.
Moony held his 15 year old godson around the chest, holding him from crossing the archway. Harry's normally vibrant green eyes were murky, and full of tears. He struggled against the werewolf and fought to get closer... to pull his godfather bodily from the brink if need be.
Remus' eyes were amber, and likewise choked with emotion as he locked eyes on the place where Sirius' spirit was. He was the last Marauder. Much as he wanted to break down and cry, he could not stop trying to keep Harry from reaching that archway. He locked eyes with the spectre of his best friend, knowing with the certainty of an animal exactly where Sirius was.
***Remus, you were always the survivor. Hang around, my friend. Harry will need you. They'll all need you now.***
Images of countless nights spent under the full moon and of days in classes at Hogwarts swept over him. Days spent with Remus, remembering his bright smile and eyes.
The night Harry was born. At 12.01, July 31st, 1980. How he had been so frightened at the prospect of being a godfather. Would he do the right thing? Teach Harry what he needed to know? Spoil him rotten?
The hope. The promise. They were nothing compared to the joy Harry brought, how he always came through.
***Harry, you'll need to be strong. Take care of Moony. And never be afraid to love. In the end, that's all we have. If we let them take that away, we've lost everything.***
The lives cut short because he was such a fool.
'You really shouldn't beat yourself up, Paddy. We'd have died whether you were Secret-Keeper or not,' a familiar voice informed from behind him.
Sirius turned. It was like looking at an older version of Harry who just happened to have hazel eyes... 'James...' It came out like a whisper on the wind.
'Jamie's right, you know. At least you were there for Harry when he needed you... when his friends and allies turned on him. There will be no denying it now... Fudge will announce Voldemort's return in a matter of days,' another voice joined in, more melodious than the first.
Lily... She looked like an angel. Her red hair cascaded down her shoulders in waves and her green eyes were dancing.
'You look bloody awful, Padfoot.'
Sirius felt his spectral jaw pop in annoyance. 'Sorry... but there's a bit of a scrum out there right now!' he hissed, looking at Harry and Remus. 'I'm dead then?' He was more calm than he had anticipated.
'Yes.'
He searched the rest of his memories. The pain of all his wrong choices had been eased. He knew that they were unchanged, but they didn't hurt any more. Nor did thoughts of the pain of Azkaban. Of being innocent and on the run. Of being without his godson or Remus for 12 long years.
'It... it doesn't hurt any more,' Sirius said, sadly.
James shook his head, his hair still unruly as ever. 'No... it shouldn't.'
Sirius cast one last look at Remus and Harry, who had not yet moved away... and was arguing that Sirius would be back any second. 'It was my time?'
Lily nodded. 'Yes.'
Sirius swallowed his sadness, a great sob welling up inside of him. 'I don't want to go. Not now.... not when he needs me the most,' he said emphatically as tears ran down his cheeks.
'It's not your choice, Padfoot. It's not how we chose to leave either. To leave you and Remus and Harry behind,' James said.
'It was the last thing we wanted,' Lily crooned, wiping the tears from his face.
'He'll be fine.'
'Who? Remus or Harry?' Sirius spat as Lupin shouted at Harry to leave.
'Either. Both. You'll see them again someday.' James' voice was soft as Harry slipped out of Lupin's reach and ran out the doorway after his godfather's murderer.
'You'll see them all again in the fullness of time. Once their lives have been lived, all mortals come here... this is but one portal, where you may speak to the dead. There is more. So much more,' Lily explained.
Sirius stared after the now-pale werewolf as he tried to help his former students.
'I know it's not easy... but you have to let go. That's all. Once you decide to let go, there is more to do, and see and know than you have ever dreamed.' James grabbed Sirius' elbow and looked him straight in the eye. 'And we're here with you. We won't let you go alone. So come on. Take my hand.'
Sirius stared down at the extended right and left hands of James and Lily respectively. He closed his eyes, forever fixing Harry's smile in his mind and took their hands. His heart broke at this simple gesture, but deep down, he knew it had to be done.
Lily intertwined her fingers with his, while James opted for a more manly hand hold. They turned, and led Sirius away. He looked back over his shoulder, opened his eyes and whispered the only thing he could think of.
'Someday.'
James nodded. 'Someday.'
'Why are you two here?' Sirius asked quietly.
James grabbed Sirius by the shoulders and smiled. 'Because I swore that we would be blood brothers in life and beyond, come heaven or hell. And I couldn't imagine anyone else… well, besides Lils, that I would rather share eternity with.'
Sirius smiled and fingered the scar on his palm, knowing that James had an identical one on his right hand as well. He felt the tears falling down his face. 'Likewise.'
James smiled and took his hand again.
'Oh, by the way, I found out of the wonderful effects of crushed Cornish pixie wing and stewed Niffler spleen…' Sirius said idly, as Lily rolled her eyes.
'Oh, no.'
'Oh yes.'
'Don't be silly Lils, it'll be great. And before you know it, we'll all be together again…' James countered. 'So, we've got to be ready…'
'Yeah…' Sirius whispered sadly with one last look at the room where he 'died'. 'When it's their time, but not before. Don't be in a rush, Harry… we've got all the time in the world.'
--00--
I don't own any of this, but my copies of the 5 books. I wish I did, cause it would have been Dumbledore, not Siri. I see how it sorta had to be this way… to make it a very personal loss, but I was seriously hoping it would be someone like Cho Chang after the way she had been… and a friend of mine and I are of the opinion that Harry needs to face Voldemort without Dumbledore's protection, so that's why I hoped it was him.
Besides, I am of the manipulative!Dumbledore train of thought… and my fanfics… except Tears of the Wolf show it. And I am determined not to rewrite my fanfics, but label them AU as of 6-21-03. That's all.
Anyways, hope no one spoiled it for themselves.
RaNdOm Hp FaN
6-23-03