Tablecloth by patricia51

(Why is the table in the gang's booth in MacLaren's covered with a floor length table cloth? Ted finds out. Smut.)

"Hey guys," Ted Mosby greeted Barney and Marshall even as he looked wonderingly at the huge snowy white cloth that now covered the table in their booth. Marshall was sitting on the outside edge on the bench on the left, probably holding the inside spot open for Lily. Since Barney had slid all the way to the inside on the right Ted dropped down beside him.

"Hi Ted," the genial towering Marshall replied. Barney answered with an absent-minded grunt.

Curiosity about his friend's seemingly far away attitude warred with his wanting to know about the cloth. He shrugged. Barney was different sometimes. This, he picked at the white fabric, had never happened.

"What's with this?"

Marshall shrugged. "No idea."

"Okay." Ted continued to be puzzled. Marshall seemed a bit out of it too. He checked the table. Two half empty glassed didn't explain much. "So where's Lily? And Robin?"

"Around."

There certainly wasn't much of a conversation going on Ted thought. Just kind of weird. Maybe Lily and Robin were in the bathroom in conformance with the truth it always took two females to accomplish that.

Barney made a noise, halfway between another grunt and something like a groan. His body stiffened.

"Barney are you all right?"

"Awesome. Legend... wait for it... Wait for it... not yet... almost thereeeeee... dary!" The conclusion coming out almost as a half-muffled yell.

Whatever all that was about seemed to pass away in a moment. Barney adjusted his tie and coat, picked up the drink in front of him and sipped it. "I'm just fine Ted." He seemed in perfect control of himself. How was your day?"

"It was good." He started to take a pull on his mug of beer. That pull turned into a gulp which turned into a strangled gasp. He slammed the mug down on the table and stared at both of his friends who seemed to act as though they were anything but surprised.

For as he was starting to drink someone out of sight had touched him. More than touched him that someone had unzipped his slacks and reached inside to fish out his rapidly reacting penis. Fortunately the hand was soft and obviously female so he had just choked rather than made a mad dash for the exit. Okay he had been really surprised, too surprised to put up any protest.

Then the surprise grew. After a couple of strokes the hand had moved down to cup his sac. But it was immediately replaced by a pair of soft lips that placed a kiss on the head of his shaft. The lips must have parted for a tongue swirled over the mushroom tip and then those same lips slid over the head and began to work their way down. Slowly. Sliding back and forth. Or was that up and down?

Confused about direction Ted might be but one thing he was NOT mistaken about was that he was getting a incredible blow job, made even more arousing by the fact that it was taking place almost right out in public. Now he understood why Marshall looked relaxed and where Barney's mind had been while he seemed distracted. Ted knew his own face probably looked like he was in another world. Well in a way he was.

He stifled a groan as the unseen woman took him all the way into her mouth. The grip of her lips tightened and her head must be bobbing. Finally her tongue licked his slit each time she slid up on him and he could feel that he was building to an explosive climax.

"Everything alright Ted?" a grinning Barney asked him with mock concern. Somehow Ted managed to gain a little self-control, enough to answer without too much shaking in his voice.

"Just fine Barney. Better every, every, every moment," he managed to stammer.

"Awesome."

Ted shook. His body wanted to arch and his hands ached tor each under the table and grab the back of the woman's head. He managed to hold on, instead making a near frantic grab for his beer and lifting it to hide his onrushing explosion. Then he was shaking and all but chewing on the edge of the glass to keep from yelling. Her mouth closed firmly on him and he shot his sperm into her mouth and down her throat. He softened and she withdrew after giving him a last lingering kiss. Deftly she tucked him back in and zipped his pants up.

"Well."

"Well," echoed his two friends.

"So Lily is around?"

"Uh-huh. In fact here she comes now." Marshall waved across the room as the girl in question bounced in.

"But I..." Ted's words trailed off as Lily soundly kissed Marshall. The lawyer turned sideways and the elementary school teacher slid past him and plopped down on the bench beside him.

"Hi Ted, hi Barney," she cheerfully greeted them. "Marshall," she turned towards him. You are not going to believe what happened today."

Lily launched into a story that the three guys paid absolutely no attention to. Suddenly she stopped talking in mid-sentence, in fact in mid-word. Here eyes grew wide and she stared down at the table top as though she could see through it. She opened her mouth once, twice, then three times and not a word came out. Then she leaned back against the seat and relaxed. A goofy smile came over her face.

"I'd say," Barney commented, "that Lily's not done coming yet."

"I'd say you're right."

Marshall held up his glass. "May I propose a toast? To the natural wonders of Canada and the joy that certain ones of them bring us."

"Here, here," said Ted and Barney in unison as the threesome clinked glasses.

Lily slid further down on the bench and her smile grew wider and dreamy. Her eyes rolled back in her head.

"Here, here," she murmured and looked down "And there, there. Yes Robin THERE."

(The End)

(Okay, did you think it was Lily under the table and not Robin? I started to write it that way but thought I might see if I could misdirect.)