Season: Anytime before 8.
Spoilers: None
Ratings: G, except for the dirty minded.
Pairings: None, except it was written specifically to be ambiguous on the J/S ship.
Category: Definitely humor

This was written because the 'plot' came to me while at work and I -had- to write it down. Plus, it gives me a break from my other piece. I am most comfortable with humor and I just had to give the serious side of fanfic writing a rest! Hope it's enjoyable!

"Daniel, can we try a new position? I'm getting really uncomfortable here," Sam said breathlessly.

"Hold on, Sam. Just ride through it. For a few more minutes," Daniel replied, equally breathless.

Sam grunted something and tried to concentrate on holding the new position they were trying out. She was perfectly happy with what they were doing before; tried and true methods that got them the release they both desperately sought. But Daniel was always one to try new things.

"I'm pretty sure we're not suppose to strain ourselves like this."

"We just have to get used to it, that's all. I promise you'll get to like it."

Sam groaned. It could only mean that Daniel planned on adding this to their routine. Well, not if she had anything to say about it.

The door to Daniel's on-base quarters swung open without warning. The two of them froze.

"Hey, Daniel, about--" Jack stopped in his track at the sight that greeted him.

"Colonel!" Sam said in bewilderment and, inexplicably, guilt. She scrambled for the towel next to her in an attempt to cover her outfit up even if she knew it was too late. O'Neill had seen everything.

"Jack. Um. I wasn't expecting you."

"Obviously," O'Neill said dryly, having recovered from the shock of his discovery. "Don't let me interrupt."

O'Neill gave them one last look of disgust before leaving them to their activity, shutting the door behind him.

"Oh, boy," Sam said.

Daniel was in the process of throwing his regular clothes back on. Going after Jack without doing so would only generate unwanted rumors. "I'll be right back," he called over his shoulder as he ran to catch up to his friend.

Sam sighed. Then she grimaced as she imagined the conversation that was about to take place.

"Jack! Wait up!"

O'Neill continued to walk away as if he hadn't heard. SGC personnel leaped out of the way as Daniel ran down the hall. He finally caught up when Jack had to wait for the elevator.

"I don't want to hear it, Daniel," Jack said without looking at him.

"I think we need to talk about this," Daniel said. He didn't think Jack would react like this.

Jack whirled on his clueless friend. He said quietly so as not to be overheard, "Look, what you guys do on your own time is your business, but I don't ever want to see it again or even hear about it."

Daniel stared at his friend, taken aback. He then said indignantly, "Is there something wrong with what Sam and I were doing?"

The elevator arrived and they both stepped through. Jack's eyes were hard. "Like I said, this isn't any of my business and I don't want it to be. Lets leave it at that."

"No! If you have a problem with this, I need to know." Daniel crossed his arms.

Jack glared at him. "Did Carter talk you into it?" he asked, the question an abrupt departure from topic.

"What?" Daniel asked, mouth open in surprise. When Jack continued to just glare, Daniel went on, "she didn't talk me into anything. We both wanted to do it."

Jack snorted. "Yeah, sure."

"Why did you automatically think it was Sam who proposed it?"

"Because she's a woman! It's what they do!"

Daniel gave Jack an 'I can't believe you just said that' look. "I don't believe this! That's so incredibly sexist."

"And yet so true."

Daniel just shook his head and moved on. "I still don't understand what the problem is. Sam and I needed something to help with the stress."

"And you decided this was the best way?" Jack sounded pained and said quietly, "I don't think I can look at either of you the same way again."

"Jack, if you want us to stop..."

Jack's shoulders slumped and a sigh emitted from deeply within him. "No, Daniel. She made her choice. I just thought we... had an understanding."

Daniel's brow raised. "That's it, isn't it. You're not angry at what we were doing, you're just mad that she didn't ask you."

"I would have said no."

"I know, but you still wish she had asked."

Jack shrugged. Neither denying nor confirming Daniel's assertion.

"Look, I'm asking now. Why don't you come back and join us?"

Jack stepped back, holding his hands up with palms facing Daniel, as if to ward him off. "Whoa, I don't go for that type of thing, Daniel."

"Just give it a try. Admit it, you want in."

Jack opened his mouth, then shut it when he found he couldn't deny the accusation. He said awkwardly, "I may have been a tad bit... curious. Just a tad."

Daniel pushed the button for the floor of his quarters. "C'mon Jack. Sam would love it if you join us. She wanted to ask you, actually, but we didn't think you'd go for it either."

"What if people find out?" Jack asked, an uncharacteristic fear in his voice.

"What's the worse that'd happen? Kick you out of the Air Force?"

Jack muttered, "you never know."

Teal'c stood just inside the doorway to Daniel's quarters. He remained silent as he watched his friends. Just when he thought he finally got a grasp on Tau'ri behaviors, his team always managed to throw him for a loop.

They were unaware of Teal'c's presence as they concentrated on maintaining their unnatural and, quite frankly, uncomfortable looking positions. O'Neill was grasping silently for breath, a pure look of determination on his face. Major Carter, on the other hand, seemed quite serene. Her eyes were closed and a faint smile hovered on her lips. Teal'c wondered if her youth and stamina played a part in her having an easier time in this activity.

Daniel Jackson had placed himself between the two. He was muttering encouragement to O'Neill, even though he himself appeared to be having a difficult time.

"Daniel, I can't hold it anymore!" O'Neill gasped out.

Carter groaned a small protest. "Sir, just another minute?"

"Sam, not that we don't care that you're having fun, but give us a break!" Daniel said, his voice strained.

"I don't see why you insist on synchronizing everything, anyway," Sam said. Then she sighed and extracted herself from the alarming contortions she had just subjected her body to. And saw Teal'c. "Oh! Teal'c, I didn't see you there." Once again, she scrambled for her towel.

"Don't people around here knock?" asked Daniel, who had also disentangled himself and was now sitting on the mat.

"Oh god. Close that damn door NOW! Daniel, help me out here. I think I'm stuck."

Daniel, being the good guy that he was, went to help without making any witty or sarcastic remarks at his friend's expense. For now. "Easy, Jack. Sorry, I guess we should have started with something less advanced."

"I knew this was a bad idea," moaned Jack.

"I do not understand," Teal'c said to his team in general. "What was it that you had hoped to accomplish by subjecting your bodies to such unnatural angles?"

Daniel answered, "it's a form of meditation for us, Teal'c. It helps us relax and at the same time keep our bodies healthy."

"Which is a load of bull. I haven't been in so much pain since... I have never been in so much pain!"

"You were the one who wanted to try it!"

"You tempted me to it! I should have known better."

Teal'c didn't know what to make of it. This activity seemed to have created more disharmony than the supposed benefits Daniel Jackson had described.

"Sir, give it a few more sessions. It really worked wonders for Daniel and me."

"Oh no. This is the last time I go experimenting with you two. C'mon Teal'c." O'Neill stood up with an exaggerated gasp of pain. "I need to see the doc."

"Jack, it's yoga, not torture. Stop being so melodramatic."