AN: Hello and salutations! This is my first Fan fic. OH sooo exciting , i hope you all enjoy this Itasaku of a story. humor, romance, Drama, Angst, hurt, comfort, and last but not least friendship. prepare for the emotional roller coaster of your life! MA I repeat Mature Audience ONLY! You have been warned.

Disclaimer :

I do not own naruto

summary: Finally Sasuke's back in the village, she couldn't be happier, right? Unfortunately harsh realities make her wake up and realize that Sasuke will never truly love her in return. To gain clarity of her life she sets out to travel on her own. Along the way to finding herself, she finds love in unlikely places and uncovers the truth behind doors that were never meant to be opened, including the darker recesses of her mind behind her "inner".

-Ch 1

Tsunade observed her apprentice through slit eyes. even to normal folk it would be nearly impossible to see the distress in the girl. To a shinobi it was a different story, subtle signs through her posture and how she would space out now and then, give or take the occasional yawning though there were no bags under her eyes, and no stress lines on her face either. she herself almost didn't notice, a feeling of pride and worry as she thought this type of half smiles would cease to happened since that uchiha brat was brought back home. however, seems he's bringing more trouble on her apprentice.

As of late she was getting more and more pressure from the council to not to trust so easily when it came to the wind Daimo, of past events with their fourth kazekage. Now with Gaara in charge they did not need to worry … no, it was the water Daimo and there new Mizukage they needed to "keep an eye out for" now. 'Overbearing crazy kooks' agitated she scowled looking back at the document in front of her. She needed a diplomat to reassure the geezers of the Daimos' promise of peace.

Shikamaru was sent a day ago too village of the sand to make the council shut up about wind, though with them at her throat about the mizukage.. she needed someone sooner than later, Glancing back at her apprentice, she notice her biting her lip, eyebrows slightly drawn in a worried gesture. biting her own lip as well she thought, if she was being honest she worried over her like the daughter she never had.. 'damn it am I not her shishou or aren't I.' she cursed back to the god damn document again. she sighed with a frown. ' I need sake' it hit her then, wondering why she didn't think of this before.

"sakura"

On the call of her name she looked away from the window to her shishou " yes shishou?" it was late afternoon and sakura just finished the last set of papers not five minutes ago. She was looking out the window not thinking of anything in particular, it least thats what she told herself..

"I need a report on the brat " raising an eyebrow she let herself smirk at the thought of her shihou calling him a brat. shaking her head " There isn't much to report on my end since work and all." 'Ha, work like thats what is keeping you from seeing him.' ignoring her inner she continues " For the past three weeks I have only been with them for only a handful of times and it was only to make meals since naruto argues that sasuke-kun makes them too bland and kakashi couldn't even if it were to save his life but at the mention of Ichiraku kakashi and sasuke turned it down."

She giggled at the memory, seeing her boys argue like old times. It seems like there friendship hadn't change since sasuke left but as for sasuke and her … her inner was right, she had been lingering at the hospital or filing documents for her shishou more than necessary. He had been doing the same, only giving "hn" and "Aa" for replies. When he needed space she gladly gave it to him. naruto would always sit between them. She would purposely sit at the far end of the stools at Ichiraku's and him skipping one seat over and sitting in the next one, followed by their loud teammate in the middle and vice versa. Both have been avoiding each other as much as possible. kakashi, sai and in the last month even naruto caught on what was going on. neither of them said anything. Though, soon it will happen. Naruto, and maybe kakashi would push for them to talk this out and make up. It was all because of that damned day, the day they finally brought him back home. She should be happy, right? Things that she found out that day... she grimaced at the thought.

Flash back nine months ago

It had been a long… long week. The fifth night in a row sleeping outdoors and she was about had it with the constant rain, heated humidified mornings, cold nights and mud. Sighing, she glance to her side looking at naruto, mainly naruto argue loudly with sai. That 'yes, he definitely had a dick'. massaging the sides of her temples she reminded naruto and sai about fire wood for camp. He being the goofball that he was, rubbed the back of his head " oh… right sorry sakura-chan" she wasn't in the mood to hit him and with that he scampered off with sai. turning back to her task She thought worrying what the outcome would turn out when they face sasuke again... since he killed Orochimaru he's been traveling all over between earth and fire's borders. looking for his brother, knowing this he would be even more determined to exceed his goal being so close to it. He will not be willing to surrender himself once they faced him.

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sakura pov.

kakashi devised the plan. Naruto, sai, and him will be the distractions while I will come at the side and perform a medical ninjutsu to paralyze him. he would not be expecting it. It least hoping he won't expect it. We hadn't exactly faced off last time. since captain yamato tried to block sasuke's attack only to find that his katana went through the kuni. though after the failed mission, I figured out how he did that. he made the molecules vibrate enough using chakra and also using chakra sustaining the object. there was also a factor of the metal in the soward. My top guess the blade is made out of pure Beryllium. Its light, strong, its a good conductor for electricity… not only that it needs only tiny amount of chakra to make it transparent against any other metal. its a neat trick if you just happened to find Beryllium laying around… *sigh*. the metal was considered rare. Then it hit me if you can do this to an object, why not a body?

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the idea was simple and got it down in about a five week time, not to say it was easy… no far from it. my first try was unplan, rash, my eagerness makes me stupid sometimes. I was just going to see if I can put my hand through the tree without breaking it. only to end up literally blowing up in my face and chakra burns over my right hand and up to my elbow. The next time I sat down with a notebook and a pen writing down a formula, calculating approximately how much of my reserves I needed to fulfill my goal.

I tested my many theories out none that worked, frustrated I took time to clear her mind by meditating. I recently took on because of "anger issues", kakashi sensei's idea to '"clear my chakra gates from clogging from such negative energy." Rolling my eyes at his bad joke but he had a point, I needed to take better control of my anger. Though something strange happened. I started feeling a familiar tug in my subconsciousness. The way it felt when inner was talking to me, my chakra took a slight spike. I laughed at the thought. Not thinking much on it I stood paced a little thinking at a new angle of looking at my experiment. I haven't heard from her in years anyway.

Now my focus was back at the tree. closing my mind from all distractions, I concentrated putting a hand to the tree. I imagined the specks of particles, focusing deeper and imaging the atoms that hold the trees form. Slowly I visualize them expanding but not quite past their breaking point making the surrounding area vibrate as the atom splits I see it my mind it becoming a part of me opening my eyes, shocked excitement I realize that I had done it.

After a successful attempt, noting that the denser the object which I was going through the more chakra I would have to exert and while figuring this out I realized another problem... sasuke's sharingan. He would see what I am doing from a mile away... In the next two days contemplate this over until I had another epiphany, Neji Hyuga. Over at the Hyuga compound I told him what I was working on and asked If he could use Gentle fist on me to see my reaction race my chakra to a certain part of my body by milliseconds before his hand hits me and goes through my body. He looked at me questioningly and said' "So you're just going to stand there and let me hit you and by chance my hand goes through your body, sakura if this fails…" I shot up straighten myself from my seat in the garden located in the middle of the compound. "It wont, see." I pull out my notebook out. " I did the math." He then looked through my numerous of notes quietly waiting for his reply. I know he is the only Huga fast Enough so I would be prepared if sasuke attacks with his sword. giving me at least a eightyeight percent increase of succes. Frowning he sets the book down on my my lap. I then looked him straight in the eye. I don't know how long we were Glaring, sizing up at each other. It could have been minutes but hell, I was determined. Just when I was about to lose hope he had spoken. " When do you want to start? "

I brightened up " I am free around noon tomorrow." I blushed a little at my reaction, his eyes though soften a little at my flustering, he nodded. Standing up notebook at hand I gave him a sincere smile " Kay thanks Neji, then I will see you tomorrow noon." and thats when I almost regretted asking Neji of all people. Why didn't I ask Hinata? it least I would have received mercy from her. The first three days completely utterly brutal! Having to heal all my bruises just to get more the next day, but it was totally worth it seeing Neji's face when his hand past my left shoulder. I actually squealed in joy. for the next few weeks my timing was near perfect. after we practiced for about an hour one day I practically drag myself to my note book marking down the duration of using the technique and how much and left of my chakra reserves I had. Finishing I lay out on the cool grass feeling the wind picked up on my overheated skin , eyes closed I relaxed. I then felt Neji sitting next to me tossing an apple in my direction which I caught, rubbing it on my shirt and took a glorious bite.

We lazed around like that for a while. the summer breeze making waves in the grassy field It felt safe, home. I close my eyes basking in the afternoon sun feeling my muscles tingle of the idleness of her biceps and triceps muscles. It was too quiet realizing this, I felt the air change. looking up I saw him staring at me. I raised an eyebrow " what is it?" looking him in the eye waiting for an answer. " You are planning on fighting him, aren't you." blunt though, I was anticipating he would ask. Answering his question made statement however, it didn't make it any easier answering. Sitting up and drawing my knees to my chest laying my head on them and wrapping my arms around myself. I let out a shaky "yes" with that he closes his eyes in thought. I just watch him knowing he still has more to say. "when is your Retrieval mission?"

I don't miss a beat " week from now." I say in a small voice. sighing he looks at me with a straight face, with a sure confidence he says " you will succeed." Remembering how I looked at him a 'duh of course i will' face. looking away I smiled a little at his comment nonetheless nodding slightly. thinking, as far from a huga this would consider a pep talk…. it least its not from guy. I giggle at the thought. he looks at me questionably like maybe this heat has gotten a little to my head. I reassure him by shaking my head' " Just glad I'm getting this oh so inspirational pep talk from you instead of Guy sensei." he smirks a little while I giggle a little more. Its quiet again and for a long while we don't say anything. I bite my lip mulling over my concern " I just hope I don't choke, you know. I don't really want to hurt him." with that he narrowed his eyes slightly and voice clipped " I understand that the last time the Uchiha attacked you he did not hesitate."

I look down at the grass "No Neji but-" he cuts in " No buts, sakura." I look up to meet his angry and conflicting eyes " There isn't a doubt in my mind that he won't hesitate again and this time he won't just stop at you right?" I nod slightly unsure where this was going, he continues. " You need to be ready to subdue him or else Naruto might not have just lost one teammate, he might just lose another one permanently." I look down and close my eyes biting my bottom lip slightly trying to hold back the tears, thinking about the weight of the truth. Yes, I know he had a point… a shaky sigh pass my lips. I need to stop sasuke from himself and from him hurting the people I love. despite him being my most precious person. realization dawns on me that I had been gripping the grass at my sides. slowly letting go having the blood flow through my fingers again. I make my decision. with my new resolve I open my eyes. Gaze straight into his " I will." He relaxed a little letting out a breath. " Good."

'Then I hear him talking quietly to himself " sakura… you're to kind for your own good…. the Uchiha….he doesn't deserve it." he said with a huff. looking down again twiddling a blade of grass between my fingers I whisper " I know."

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AN: well folks thats all for this ch. Dont get your panties in a bunch Itachi, the God himself will show up soon. I know theres a little nejisaku in this I thought it would be cute and yeah, I hate sasuke with a passion. well it doesn't make sense that his personality took a 180 degree turn. I love / hate the, 'gives no shits' attitude he had before and well I am sticking to that until...otherwise. HA wouldn't you like to know hmmmm?! on another note people might notice sakura seems a little immature, she is still a young adolescent (16 year old) we all had those cringing moments in our young adult life so bare with it! It least for a little bit. Well all I can say is keep reading and until next time on Everybody lies the conclusion of this flash back. maybe. probably. COMMENT, CRITIQUE, GIVE ME YOUR WORST INTERNET! SEE YOU IN 2 WEEKS!

sincerely: BATMAN