"That's the last of it." Hermione comes in to find me in the middle of her bedroom. As much as she's been in mine, it's mental to feel this nervous, but for a whole list of reasons, I do.
Kingsley insisted that Aurors check the house before we bring her parents back. We got the all clear a couple of hours ago and have since been putting Hermoine "back" into this place. It's weird: even though we've returned it to "normal", it doesn't feel like her.
"You're right." Her ability to read me doesn't even seem strange, not anymore.
"It's just because you've been away."
She shakes her head. "Not really, not the way you mean. I haven't really been here since I was eleven."
"It's still your home."
"Doesn't feel that way."
"It will when we bring them back." She gives me with that sweet, timid smile that breaks my heart. I pull her into a hug.
"Maybe. The last two times I was here were so…" She trails off. I fill in the blanks; she's talking in part about Christmas of sixth year. Shite.
"Oh, that reminds me!" She's over eager, changing the subject. "I found this earlier. Better late than never, I suppose." She hands me a box.
"What's this?"
"Your Christmas gift; a couple of years late…but I want you to have it."
I sit down and open it carefully. I pull out a scarf: deep blue and amazingly soft.
"I was worried; felt a little silly to make it for you, but I knew the color would be perfect with your eyes."
"You made this? When?"
"I had to be sneaky. I usually worked on it while you were at Qudditch practice or after you'd gone to bed. Like it?"
"Love it," I try to swallow the lump in my throat.
"There's more."
Wrapped in tissue paper is a frame. When I turn it over my stomach does a flip. It's a picture of us, in the common room. We're talking, oblivious to the photographer. The "me" in the picture turns around; picture-Hermione gives him a look of total adoration, one he completely misses.
"How?" My voice trembles.
"Colin gave it to me; he realized it was special."
"You were gonna give it to me?"
"Well, after I invited you to Slughorn's party, I thought it'd be the perfect way to show you…"
My eyes sting. What can I say? Sorry I was such a twat? Sorry I was too blind to see what was literally right in front of me? Sorry for breaking your heart: our hearts? She senses my inner battle.
"Oh, Ron, I didn't want to make you feel bad. The past's done. It's not your fault. If I had just had a little more courage…really, you don't need to feel bad anymore. She was what you needed at the time; eventually, you got it out of your system. Whatever the two of you did was entirely your business; I shouldn't have tried to make it mine."
Fuck. I can tell she's not trying to guilt me; this is actually what she believes. The easy thing to do would be to let her think this; it would definitely make me less of a prick. But, screw easy, she deserves the truth.
"Hermione," I face her, taking a deep breath, "I know we've not talked about this, but there are a few things I need to set straight. Lavender was never what I needed, not even what I wanted; she was never in my system. The whole fiasco, beginning to end, was pure, but not so simple, jealousy."
"I don't understand." Her brow furrows in that totally adorable way that I love.
"I thought you could never want me, so I just wanted you to see that someone else could…I'm not proud of this. After I found out about you snogging Krum, I lost it. I thought I could never measure up." I lower my head, waiting.
"Me, snogging Krum?"
"S'alright. I've let it go."
"There's nothing to let go."
"What?"
"I never snogged him. He kissed me, very formally, a couple of times, but snog? Never. Why'd you think that?"
Two years ago this information would have had me ecstatic; now it just makes me feel like shit.
"Ginny. Damn it! I'm a tit!" When I look up at her, she is smiling.
"I guess when I told her he kissed me, she thought...oh well, it's over now."
"Not yet. You need to know everything."
"Really, it's not necessary." I can tell that she is almost afraid to hear me continue.
"It is. I love you, have for as long as I can remember. I never thought I was good enough; that you couldn't feel what I felt, so I hurt you. I wasted so much time, let so many misunderstandings come between us. No more. You're it for me. You weren't my first kiss, but I hope you can be my first, and last, everything else."
I take her hand in mine and look into her eyes with no clue how she'll react.
"Ron…"Her eyes are full of tears, "I love you so much; that's a brilliant plan, one we should start on right away."
It's like something snaps in both of us. I lace my fingers in the hair, low, at the nape of her neck, pulling her to me. This kiss is like none we've had yet; it's soft and hard, fast and slow, in all the right places. I'm high on the taste of her taste. We both moan; I'm so turned on I feel dizzy.
I pull back, dragging her bottom lip through my teeth. The look in her eyes is hungry. We're both panting. My heart can't take this; it's just too much, too good. She places a soft kiss on my chin and works her way up my jaw to nuzzle under my ear.
"Ron…I want…I need…" Her whisper's raw and throaty; it takes every ounce of control I have not to rip our clothes off and bury myself inside her.
"Anything, tell me, I'll give you anything."
"You, us…I want to be as close to you as possible."
"You're sure? I don't want to rush you…us."
"There isn't a single thing about "us" that could be described as rushing, Ron."
I almost laugh at that, but the way she says my name sends a jolt straight to my groin; I moan instead.
"You like that? Ron..."
"God, yes."
We're a tangle of limbs, lips, tongues. Hands grope, breaths catch, moans echo throughout the room.
"Wait." What the hell am I doing?!
"What's wrong? Don't you want..."
"Of course! Are you mental? I just…I just want to savor this."
"Another brilliant plan."
She stands, placing herself between my knees. Her hands run over my shoulders to the buttons of my shirt. She undoes them with trembling fingers, before delving her hands inside. I can't resist reaching up to kiss her throat, and I melt at the sigh that it produces from her perfect mouth.
As I pepper kisses under her chin, I take the bottom of her shirt between my fingers. With our bodies still close together, I lift up, and she raises her arms. Before the shirt can even hit the floor, we are crashing together in a passionate kiss. The feel of her soft skin against mine makes my knees buckle. We are pressing into each other; she's gotta feel how hard I am.
Somehow, I end up back on the bed, working my mouth down her chest. She slips her bra off so fast I swear that she's mastered wandless magic. Her marvelous tits beg for attention: who am I to disappoint them?
"Oh God! Ron!" She is pressing into me, throwing her head back, clutching my shoulders.
"'Ermione…so beautiful…love you…so much…"
"Love…you..mmmmm"
We're so worked up now that honestly I don't know how we manage to get the rest of our clothes off. Perhaps it IS magic; suddenly we are both starkers on her bed. And, as sexy as every inch of her body is, I cannot get enough of looking at her face. All those years of having to look away, afraid she'd catch me staring, have left their mark. As I look in to her eyes, she smiles that contagious smile, and our nervous energy breaks through in laughter.
"Most blokes wouldn't appreciate being laughed at a time like this."
"I just…I can't believe …I've wanted you so long…and…here we are..."
"I feel exactly the same way." I lean in, capturing her lips.
Our hands grow bolder as the kiss grows deeper. She rolls slightly onto her back as my fingers trace their way up her thighs. My heart is pounding in my chest, but I cannot hold back anymore, I have to feel her.
"You feel...you're so soft, so…wet." I think I just might come on her hip when she starts rocking herself against my hand.
"Ron…" She's panting, licking her lips, making these fucktastic sounds. I literally growl when she reaches between us and grabs my cock.
"Fuuuck…you have no idea how good that feels."
"Tell me." I really want to, but I can't even…it's just too…much. We're both grinding together, and I know I'm gonna blow any second. I almost want to stop her, but I know that if we both come now, it will make it better later. I circle my fingertips over what I'm hoping is her clit, when she cries out and starts shaking.
"Ron!" It is the single hottest thing I've ever seen, and that is all she wrote…I come so hard I can't even make a sound.
As we recover, I roll onto my back. Hermione reaches over and grabs her wand. She cleans us up and then she casts what I recognize as a contraceptive spell.
"Are you sure?"
"As sure as I've ever been about anything."
She pulls me to her; every worry I have about the future, every doubt I have in myself, they all disappear. All that's left is love and desire for this woman who is miraculously in my arms. Our kisses are agonizingly slow as I part her thighs and raise myself onto my elbows.
It's like time is slowing around us: my hands in her hair, her hand reaching to guide me to her core. My hips are dying to move, but I want to enjoy this moment, knowing just how important it is. After this she will really be mine and I will be even more certainly hers.
"I love you."
"I love you." We both have tears in our eyes, and normally that would make me feel like a tit, but right now, it doesn't.
No amount of advice from my brothers, or locker room talk, or wanking fantasies has prepared me for the feeling of being inside her. She is so warm, wet, soft and tight. There is a moment of resistance, but when I feel her all the way around me, surrounded by her heat, everything just feels…perfect, like we were made to be together like this.
"Are you ok?"
"Yes" her voice is low and raspy, and I worry for a second that she's trying to spare my feelings, but then she rotates her hips, and we both groan at the sensation.
"Merlin, 'Mione, you feel…ffuuuck"
"Need you…closer…god…so good"
It's all too much and not enough at the same time. I'm thrusting into her more forcefully, and she's rolling her hips, grabbing my arse, pulling me to her. I don't know long I will be able to hold on.
"Yes! Right there! Ronnnnn!" She pulses around me, pulling me impossibly deeper. I explode inside her: her name on my lips.
Neither one of us wants to move, so we just hold onto each other. When I lift myself up enough to look into her face, her smile takes my breath away.
"I love you..so much."
"Now I know what was missing." I look at her confused; she continues. "At first, I thought it was Hogwarts because I was there most of the time. Then I thought it was the Burrow because it was so full of life. But I was wrong: it was you."
"What do you mean?"
"You, Ron. You're home, for me. Does that sound mental?"
"Not at all." I swallow the lump in my throat, pulling her even tighter against me. We're both home.