Disclaimer - I do not own Homeland. That pleasure belongs to Showtime. No copyright infringement or money making scheme intended. This is purely for reading enjoyment.
A/N I said when I finished "I have to say" that I wasn't done with Brody and I'm not. He's back! And Carrie's with him too. Missing scenes with them individually, them with others...and together! Probable that I will have more than one chapter for each episode. This first one is Brody in the Pilot.
Please let me know what you think. Please review.
The cold air hit him hard in his face and forced him to breath sharply as it entered his lungs. He felt it chill his very bones as it penetrated his clothes. It was early and quiet, but even if it hadn't been he doubted anyone would question what he was doing, not when they realised who he was. After all, why shouldn't the American hero gaze upon the White House?
He hadn't been able to sleep, had decided a run would help. He'd been wrong. The events of the past few days had decided to join him. The lies, oh yes, the lies, breeding already.
"Were you there?", Helen Walker asked him about Tom's death.
"No", he had answered. So easily. Much too easily the lie crossed his lips.
His eyes darted up and down the full length of the White House. He observed it as he had done mostly everything since he had returned home, from a distance, robotically and mechanically. Doing what was expected of him.
He may as well have been a tourist seeing it for the first time. It felt strange to him, as if he had only ever seen it in pictures before which was never quite the same. Except that he wasn't staring in admiration and wonder, but disgust and anger.
"It will be difficult Nicholas. You will have to familiarise yourself with your old life without allowing it to distract you, to stir your emotions.
"I can do it."
Nazir observed him for several minutes before nodding his head in approval.
"We have much to prepare", Nazir spoke, getting up from his seat and leaving the room.
Nazir had known he would follow and so he had. Nazir had not doubted his sincerity, but his ability to remain detached. Perhaps he had been right. The nausia had struck on the plane as though the sheer scale of what he was returning to do had only just occurred to him. Combined, with the reality of meeting his family again, the nausea hit like a tidal wave.
It had been awkward. Chris hadn't known what to do, had looked to him. He'd been just as clueless and reverted to what he knew well, the robotic comfort drilled into every soldier, with his son. He had even been unsure with Jess. But Dana, now she was a different story. He hugged his little girl for the first time in 8 years and it made sense to him. She radiated warmth. There was nothing hidden or unsure in her welcome.
The warmth had evaporated quickly. Not even 5 minutes alone with his family and he was meeting him...HIM. He contained his anger and masked it behind the good soldier act. In even less time he found himself in front of the cameras as Walden played "I can't hear you" with trained Marines like they were a bunch of 5 year olds at a Pantomime. Suddenly, overwhelmed and anxious, his fingers had moved like lightning, back and forth searching for the familiarity, comfort and calm that his prayer beads offered. Then, it was his turn to speak. He composed himself and told them what they wanted to hear.
Arriving back in their Street, his Street, he had hoped for some peace. Alas, a soldier's duty is never done. He could not fathom the stupidity of people lining the streets to hail him a hero. They knew nothing of his life for the past 8 years. "He stands here alive, so lets have a fucking parade". Had it always been the case that people were so utterly desperate and idiotic?
"They will hero worship you, Nicholas."
"Why? I haven't done anything."
"Perhaps not yet. When you return all you will have to do is wear that uniform and smile. That will be will be seen as a symbol of American strength, of defiance and courage. That is how those in power will want you to be seen."
"And people will believe that?"
"Most of them. You will find Nicholas, from your new view of the world, that most people believe what they need to in order to live their lives as easily as possible."
"I don't remember it being like that before."
"It has always been like that, Nicholas. It's just that before you were one of those people, but now your eyes have been opened."
Nazir had been right. He had worn the uniform, had smiled and that had been enough...for most people. Not for her though, that CIA lady intent on busting his balls at the debriefing. She was most definitely not stupid. He'd have to hope not to run into her again.
He may as well be a foreigner in a foreign land. Perhaps he was now. Looking at the White House, it seemed to him that it had not changed a bit in 8 years, but Nazir had prepared him for that.
Beware, Nicholas, that which seems the same, familiar and comforting, for it is but a lie. It always has been. Now that you see what others cannot, this is the truth you shall know."
With one last contemptuous look at the White House, he continued on his run.
Further A/N I absolutely loved the shock factor of having Brody stand in front of the White House the way they did and the implications they were making, which is why I chose it to start this fic off.