AN: Hi guys! waves timidly in the background Okay so I know we all hate reading these but it must be done! I'm not new to FF but this is my first story, so pleeeeease no flames, though I appreciate any constructive criticism you throw my way :) anyway I hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: I own NOTHING! Well not nothing, but I don't own the books, or the characters, or anything belonging to Stephenie Meyer. Hmmmm. Well yeah thats about it.

Living In The Real World

Just to give you a feel for where we're starting:

"Get him OUT!" she screamed. "He can't BREATHE! Do it NOW!"

…

"There's no time," Rosalie hissed. "He's dying!"

…

But there was nothing there, just me, just him.

Working over a corpse.

…

Rosalie was totally absorbed in the creature, paying no attention to me at all. She wouldn't be quick enough to stop me, distracted as she was. Suddenly Rosalie gasped in horror as the sucking noise came to a stuttering halt.

"No!" she breathed sounding distinctly upset and rushing up the stairs. The ocean of pain waited just out the door, but I had made my decision, I was going to destroy the murderer in that filthy leech's arms. I could feel the pull dragging me back upstairs to where I could just hear Rosalie hissing something to Edward as he continued to work over his corpse wife.

I took the stairs two at a time not wanting to miss a chance to take the abomination out.

When I arrived at the library I saw that Edward had shifted his attention from Bella- from Bella's body- to his demon spawn. "She's not breathing!" Rosalie whisper-shrieked in horror; if vamps could cry I would swear she was on the verge of a serious emotional melt-down.

"And listen, her heart is failing," murmured Edward looking crestfallen yet panicked. I didn't understand why they didn't just call Carlisle and ask him what the hell was going on with the little murderer.

"Rosalie, get Carlisle on the phone!" said Edward picking up on my thoughts. Damn leeches.

By now Rosalie had Carlisle on the phone and was speaking faster than even I could pick up. I stared at Bella's body feeling weighed down with depression and enraged with the fact that Edward had just pushed her to the side like she was nothing. He supposedly loved her. He'd married her not the baby for Christ's sake! Suddenly I felt the pull keeping me here in this room, in this house, in this world leave me just as Rosalie wailed mournfully and then screeched through the phone, "Carlisle what do I DO?! Her heart just STOPPED! She's DYING!"

"Guess I was right about blondes. Her heart's stopped? Yeah, that means she's dead." I snarked numbly. Rosalie tried to lunge for me but Edward held her back and proceeded to try CPR on the prone forming lying just next to her mother. Both dead. Everything had left me. I felt numb to my core, wrapped in ice, and I wondered if this is how it felt to be a vampire. No wonder the blonde was in such a perpetual bad mood. But me? I felt like I could only just manage to sink through the floor and melt away into painless oblivion. There was nothing left for me in this world anymore, so I went back downstairs, walked out the door, and started running. I ran and ran and didn't stop, didn't look back, didn't phase. I felt like I couldn't. And the scary thing was, I didn't know if I actually couldn't or if it was just that I wanted to protect Seth and Leah from what I was feeling. Eventually I got to the stream and at that point I could take no more. I collapsed on the bank, dry heaving and then sobbing, knowing tears were running down my face, unable to stop them, unable to even feel them.

I guess I fell asleep because the next thing I remember was Seth nudging me awake. I immediately got up and ran, this time back to the Cullen's house back to the source of my pain, not bothering to see if Seth knew what had happened or to see if the pack was attacking or what he even wanted. When I got there I bounded straight through the door not noticing the dead silence surrounding the house in my haste.

When I got through the door I noticed that all was not as quiet as it had seemed because it appears that I had interrupted a hushed conversation, and I caught the end of what Carlisle was saying to the rest of the "family."

"-the venom part- the vampire blood in her- was warring with the human part. Because she was equally vampire and human, both parts killed each other so that there was nothing left unconsumed in her body. She couldn't function and so her organs shut down."

I surveyed the room noting a remarkable absence and asked the obvious question: "Where's Edward?"

"I don't know," Alice replied fearfully with her a crease between her brows. I assumed she was concentrating, trying to see Edward.

"Is Bella…?" I didn't know how to finish that question. I didn't know that I wanted the answer.

"She's dead." Said Rosalie stoically, sounding far more regretful than I thought she would ever be capable of where it concerned Bella, though maybe she was just mourning the loss of her demon child. I stood awkwardly for a while. Obviously none of the Cullens were going to talk to me, but I couldn't just leave. I had just burst into their house.

"NO!" Alice exclaimed on her feet in nanoseconds.

"What is it Alice?" asked Esme, uttering the first words I'd heard her speak since everything with Bella transpired.

"It's Edward. He's- he's gone to the Quileute land. I- I- I can't see him anymore!"

Everyone stood frozen in various states of shock and then I was in motion heading out the door, on my way to get Seth and Leah and get over to the pack's territory ASAP.

"Jacob, wai-" uttered Carlisle before I cut him off.

"I'm sorry Doc but if you want someone to make sure Edward gets out of there alright it's gotta be me. If any of you go it will be violating the treaty even more, besides they won't attack me." I hope I tacked on at the back of my mind. Carlisle nodded, acknowledging that there was no other way and I was off.

I phased on the fly, faster than I ever had before and was running before my paws hit the ground.

Seth, Leah, let's go. We've got a leech to save.

What happened? Thought Seth concernedly before reviewing what had just happened at the house. I felt his realization and he picked up his pace, outstripping even Leah in his concern for his friend.

We raced into pack territory, hearing intense howling and following it back to the clearing we had met at just a few days ago to discuss our plan of attack. When we arrived the smell hit out noses and it transported me straight back to fighting the newborn vampires- the smell of burning leech. I could feel Seth's despair and horror as he realized what he was witnessing- or rather not witnessing owing to the fact that the telltale thick purple smoke obscured everything.

Sam, what have you done? I directed my growling thought at Sam, lacing the statement with my alpha-male authority.

We did what needed doing Jacob. He came into our territory and tried to attack Paul. We were only defending our own.

Defending your own?! Ha, that's rich! You probably sunk your teeth in as soon as he passed the border! My words belittled the rage coursing through my body as I prepared to lunge at Sam. Maybe it would be better if there were only one pack leader.

Jacob, no. Think about it. He lost Bella and the thing. He wanted to die. He was just looking for the quickest way out and knew what Sam would do if provoked. Leah was right. Damn it. LEAH WAS RIGHT. That stupid leech had taken the easy way out. And who would have to suffer for it? Oh, that's right me.

I could see my future laid out before me. The ocean of pain was there again, but this time it looked infinitely worse and I could see no end in sight. This was it. I plunged in.

90 Years Later

I sat in my Seattle apartment waiting to die. It wasn't far off now and I could feel the death in the air settling over my body, lulling me to sleep.

After Edward had committed suicide- for that was how I'd come to think of it- I'd taken Leah up on her offer. We'd moved to San Diego which was so much different than Forks, but fate wasn't done beating up on me. Not even a year after Leah and I had moved there she imprinted. He was a nice guy really, and pretty much the opposite of the Cullens: tan, somewhat flawed, human. He made Leah happy so I couldn't begrudge her the happiness she deserved and I let her bail on me. She still checked in from time to time, but I pretty much carried out my miserable existence in solitude, commuting from my apartment to the mechanical shop where I worked and coming back home for crappy take-out and mind-numbing T.V.

I carried on like that for some time and then moved to Seattle to be closer to home I guess. Or maybe it was just because I couldn't stand the happy people and sunny weather anymore. Since I never went back to Forks I'm guessing it was the latter. So that's how I kept on. I went through the same motions even in Seattle and eventually I stopped phasing. I never married and I never got over the feeling that I lost something huge that day when Bella died. Not just her, but something more. I've never been able to place my finger on it and I guess that's okay- it probably just would have caused me more pain. So here I sit, so ready for death. I've been ready since she died, and now I'm finally being granted my only wish: to be free of the unbearable pain that I've come to live with and think of as normal.

Well, goodbye world. I leave you unchanged. Not a mark will go down to show the tortures I have gone through or the things I have done. But maybe it's better that way. People are always happier not knowing, even if they don't know it.

Fin