Disclaimer: I own nothing! Ranma ½ is owned by Rumiko Takahashi, and Full Metal Alchemist has so many contributors that I don't even want to try naming them all.
Spring of Drowned Scientific Principle
"Please sirs! Be veeeery bad if fall in springs!"
A familiar scene, where a familiar pigtailed martial artist in a white gi jumps across a familiar cursed training ground fighting a familiar battle against a familiar balding father. Of course most would know how this particular moment is meant to end, with said pigtailed martial falling into a familiar cursed spring, and coming out as a familiar red headed girl.
This however, is not that scene.
*SPLASH!*
"C'mon pop, is that all you got!" Ranma stood atop one of the numerous bamboo poles littered throughout the cursed training ground of Jusenkyo. He had come to the valley with his father to visit the legendary cursed training ground. After arriving, they both took to the bamboo poles growing out of each and every pool. Having just knocked his father into a pool, he was naturally surprised by the panda that jumped out.
"Oh sir is very unlucky! Sir fall in spring of drowned panda. Very tragic story of panda that fall in and drown 2,000 year ago!" The Jusenkyo guide commentated on the hijinks in broken Japanese, helpless to do anything but spectate.
"Holy crap!" Ranma dropped his guard in surprise, leaving himself completely open to the panda's attack. With another cry, he flew down into a spring…
"I'm Ranma Saotome… Sorry 'bout this."
Another familiar scene. Around a table sit six individuals. One is our pigtailed protagonist, and another his father. Listening to them are Soun Tendo and his three daughters. Kasumi, the oldest, sits still, listening curiously. Nabiki, the middle child, observes quietly, storing every bit of information for future use. Akane, the youngest, just looks mad.
"How to best explain this…" Ranma's father Genma thought aloud. "Ah, I know!" Not a second later, did he grab his son by the collar of his red Chinese silk shirt, and toss him into the Tendos' koi pond.
A splash later, and Ranma found himself as herself, standing up in the knee deep water. "What was that for?"
"Oh, my own son!" Genma cried out in mock sorrow. "How humiliating! How humiliating!"
"Like you're one to talk!" A short struggle later, and soon Genma had joined his only child in the pond in the shape of a panda.
A drop of sweat ran down Kasumi's brow. "Daddy, why are you friends with them?"
Soun sighed. "They weren't always like this."
One bath later
"Ah, it was two fateful weeks ago." Genma sipped the tea set out before him by Kasumi. "We had traveled to the remote Byankala mountain range in China's Qinghai Province. We were in search of the legendary Jusenkyo. The valley of the cursed springs. We began training the moment we arrived. I wanted to test Ranma's potential, as this was to be our last stop before we finally returned to Japan. As we dueled atop the poles, I decided to drop my guard, just a bit, to test the boy's strength."
Ranma snorted. "Whatever helps ya sleep at night pops."
A vein popped on Genma's forehead. "As I was saying, I decided to test Ranma's strength. Proving stronger than I thought, Ranma's kick threw me off of the pole and into the pool of drowned panda. When I jumped out, I landed on another pole in front of Ranma. Seeing that he had let his guard down, I took the initiative."
"Let my guard down? You turned into a freaking panda!"
"A true martial artist never lets the battle surprise him, boy!"
"How is a panda kicking me in the face not supposed to be surprising?"
"Wait a moment," Nabiki interjected. "so you're saying that you went into the water, and you were a panda when you came out?"
"Precisely." Genma nodded stiffly
"And you didn't notice that you were a panda? At all?"
"A true martial artist never loses focus on the battle!"
"Which means, he wasn't paying attention." Ranma added.
"Respect your betters boy!"
"Says the guy who fell in the springs first!"
"Then I'll assume that Ranma fell in some sort of spring of drowned girl." Nabiki was ignored, in favor of the bickering duo. "I'll take that as a yes."
"Stupid old man! What's the idea of draggin' me to a place like that anyway!"
"You sound like a woman!" Genma once again tossed Ranma into the koi pond. Weren't you prepared to give your life for the sake of training?"
"My life, yes." Ranma cupped some water in his hands. "My manhood, No!" With a splash, Genma was a panda once more.
"But it isn't permanent!" Soun yelled, lifting a kettle. "as cold water activates the curse, hot water reverses the transformation."
Genma sweltered. "It needn't be quite that hot!"
"And the same goes for Ranma!" Soun upended the kettle over Ranma, who quickly dodged.
"Hot water, not boiling!"
"Well you're problem isn't so bad!" Soun wrapped his arm around Ranma's shoulder. "My daughter Kasumi who is nineteen, my daughter Nabiki, 17, and Akane, 16. Pick one, and she will be your fiancé!"
"He wants Akane!" Kasumi and Nabiki quickly volunteered their sister.
A quick objection followed. "I'd never marry that pervert!"
"Who're you calling a pervert!"
"You looked at me in the bath!"
"Hey, you walked in on me!"
"It's different when a girl sees a boy!"
"I-… Y'know, forget it," Ranma stood up. "I'm leaving."
"Where are you off to boy?"
"Back to China." Ranma replied. "This is no time for fiancés." Ranma turned to Akane. "And by the way. You took a pretty good look at me too. It's no difference if I see a girl. I've seen myself plenty of times, right?" Ranma turned away. "And besides, I'm better built to boot."
Nabiki looked on at the spectacle. Figure insults were a big no-no, especially with Akane. A girl, who at the moment was holding the dinner table like a baseball bat, ready to brain her new fiancé over the head. Nabiki had seen it many times before, the few times she had company over to talk business. High school boys were really too hopeless to keep their mouths shut. She saw Ranma's arc over the yard in her head before the table even hit. Naturally it came as a surprise when the impact came. Rather than a body flying, there only went a head. Nabiki did a double take. Ranma's head was sitting in the backyard, still and lifeless. Looking back in the dining room, Akane stood paralyzed. Staring. At the ground in front of her. Ranma's corpse. Ranma's headless corpse was spraying blood all over the floor. And some of it was in her hair.
"Oh my." Leave it to Kasumi to break the ice.
"Oh my God Akane! You killed him!" Nabiki didn't panic much. It was unbecoming of a financial wizard. This was however, panic worthy.
"Waaaaaaaah! My daughter's a murderer!"
"I didn't mean to! Someone call an ambulance! Doctor Tofu! Anybody!"
"Perhaps a hearse would be better?" Kasumi wondered aloud. "Or maybe the police? Hmmm, I've never been involved in a murder before." Everyone stared at Kasumi. "I'm sorry, was that wrong? Do we hide the body?" The staring continued.
"He'll get better" Genma finally said.
"Excuse me?" Nabiki's jaw dropped at Genma.
"He's had worse. He'll be up again in a few seconds." Genma crossed his arms calmly.
"Yeah right. I'm no medical expert, but I'm pretty sure that people don't just get back up after being decapitated."
No sooner had the words left Nabiki's mouth, did a bright glow come from Ranma's corpse. Sparks of blue energy flew around the wound, and suddenly, bit by bit, Ranma's head began to gradually grow back. No more than fifteen seconds after it began, it ended, and Ranma lay down on the floor, holding her head. "Oooooooo. This is getting' really old."
Akane just gaped. "But… She was… and I was… and… huh?"
"If you'll allow us to finish our story, then all will be clear." Genma announced.
Ranma arced through the air, and into a spring.
"Oh no!" shouted the guide. "Kind sir fall in spring of drowned scientific principle! Very tragic story of amateur scientist's hopes and dreams that drown in spring 50 year ago!"
Genma in the meantime, stood atop his pole, waiting for his son to emerge from the water. In that time, he finally looked at his hands… or lack thereof. Two large panda eyes widened at the revelation. He was a panda. Probably because of the water. Which Ranma was in.
Now very panicked, and rightly so, Genma hopped off the pole and onto solid ground, visions of seppuku dancing through his head. You could imagine his relief when he saw Ranma climbing out of the pool, still completely himself.
Ranma looked around. He had hit the water, and his first reflex was to check his hands and make sure they weren't paws. After passing that check, Ranma climbed out of the pool and onto dry ground, where he saw a panda jogging toward him… A panda, which he unfortunately thought, was his father.
The panda stopped in front of him and made a bunch of growling noises, all of them completely unintelligible. Ranma sighed. "Pop. I have no idea what you're saying." Genma's eye twitched. Bringing up his right paw, he slapped Ranma upside the head.
A slap which broke Ranma's neck. A sickening crack was heard around the silent pools, as the young mans head turned a complete 270 degrees. The first thing Ranma registered, was the fact that his neck hurt. A lot. The second thing he noticed, was that he was on the ground. The last thing he noticed, was that it had gotten really dark outside. Funny, because it was still the middle of the day. With these last thoughts, Ranma Saotome died.
Genma just stood there. His first thought. Did I just break my sons neck? Getting down quickly, Genma attempted to check Ranma's pulse, a task which proved difficult with paws instead of hands. Eventually, he came to one conclusion. He had just killed his son. Nodoka's gonna kill me.
At this time, the Jusenkyo guide arrived, with a kettle of warm water. "Ah, kind sirs! I bring warm water to change back panda man!" And change back the panda man he did.
"I didn't do it!" Genma cried the second he was normal again.
"You is talking of dead customer, yes? No worry. He be living soon." Another sickening crack came from the ground, and Genma and the guide looked down at Ranma, who was now very much alive, with his neck not broken. "You see, I is telling truth!"
Ranma was confused now. It felt kind of like that morning after his dad had accidentally given him a mixed drink with his nightly meal. But he had sworn off alcohol for life after that. Why did his head hurt so much? Everything looked blurry and out of place. Where was this again?
"You see sir." Spoke the guide as Ranma stood up. "Other sir is now immortal. Can be killed but always come back to life." Ranma stumbled in front of his father, moaning as he passed.
"Don't be such a baby, boy!" Naturally, he was happy that Ranma was in fact, not dead, and had completely suppressed the fact that he had killed his son in the first place. For these reasons, it was perfectly natural for him to kick the boy for stumbling about like that just because of a simple paw to the head.
Genma's kick sent the boy flying. Or rather, it sent half of him flying. Now separated at the waist, Ranma's upper torso flew through the air, landing in a pool. The legs however, in contrast to what a severed pair of legs should do, simply stayed standing. And then they ran. Genma and the guide just stared, as the Ranma-legs ran off into the distance, away from the cursed springs, and into the wilderness.
"Sirs legs is like headless chicken." The guide observed. "Important part is part with heart in it. Very tragic. Young customer's upper torso fall in spring of drowned girl. Very tragic story of young girl who fall in and drown in spring 1500 year ago." The two stared at the pool that was now a light red with Ranma's blood. "No worry sir. She be alive in few seconds." Moments later, Ranma popped out of the spring, gasping for breath. She then noticed that she wasn't a he anymore.
"Gaaah! What in the- Pop, I swear to God, I'll" All other insults were cut off, as the weary red head fell face first onto the ground.
"Come, I show you about curse in hut."
"So lemme get this straight." Ranma sat cross legged next to his father in the Jusenkyo guide's hut. "You're saying, that now I'm gonna turn into a girl every time I get splashed with cold water?"
"Sir is right." The guide said. "Other sir turn into panda."
"But hot water will change us back, right?" Genma asked.
"Also right." The guide opened a small drawer next to his bed. "Also, young sir fall in other spring before fall in spring of drowned girl. Was spring of drowned scientific principle. Very tragic story of scientists hopes and dreams that drown in spring 50 year ago."
The two guests sat slack jawed. Genma spoke up first. "How exactly does one drown ones hopes and dreams, much less a scientific principle."
"Alcohol." The guide said matter-of-factly. "But sir will be needing this." The guide gave Ranma a pamphlet. "Is brochure for special spring."
Ranma attempted to read the cover. "So you're a homncu-whata… Homonca… Hakuna matata? How are you supposed to say this?"
The guide shrugged. "Sorry kind sir. My Japanese no is very good."
Sighing, Ranma opened the pamphlet to the first page. If your reading this, congratulations! You have fallen into the semi-ancient cursed spring of drowned scientific principle!
For those who may be curious, the principle drowned here, was the principle of equivalent exchange. This idea was used by alchemists, who believed nothing could be gained, without first giving up something of equal value. Ranma paused. Alchemists? Weren't those like, the magic science people? The spring of drowned scientific principle exercises this idea in its curse. Unlike other Jusenkyo springs. The curse is not deactivated by hot water, but is active all the time. It should also be known that if the recipient of this curse is affected by another Jusenkyo curse, both of the their forms will be affected by this curse.
Rather than serve as a hindrance to those who fall in, the SoDSP, as it will be abbreviated for short, Will give a special gift to the person who falls into it, but will also give a disadvantage to offset the gift. Equivalent exchange.
First, the gift will be explained. The person who falls in this spring, that being you, the reader, will become a homunculus. Most theories define a homunculus as an artificially created human being. While it is true that must homunculi are created by less than natural means, a homunculus can be created by using a human being as raw materials.
As a homunculus, You now have a few new abilities to take note of. First and foremost, you must understand that you are by no means immortal. Just like all other humans, you can be killed. As a homunculus however, you are set apart from other humans. Although you can be killed, your body can now revive itself post-mortem. Ranma stopped.
"Wait a minute. I'm immortal?"
"no, not immortal" the guide told him. "You still die, now you just come back to life when you do."
"Wait, what's this all about? My son turns into a girl, and now he comes back to life when he dies too?" Genma wasn't sure what was going on, and to be honest, he didn't really care all that much about the semi-immortal Ranma thing. He was much more concerned about the turning into a girl bit. If his retirement was compromised, then the last 10 years would have been for naught! He had to make sure that regardless of whatever had happened to Ranma, he would still be capable of producing an heir… actually make that a lot of heirs, or Nokoka really would be mad.
"It's all right here in the pamphlet." Ranma said. Ordinarily, Genma would tell Ranma that reading was for sissies, and real men didn't need to stop for instructions, and some other shtick about him being girly. Wanting to know all he could though, Genma began reading over Ranma's shoulder as he turned the page.
This new form is not without disadvantages though. Equivalent exchange. Although your body is now able to recover from a condition that was never meant to be recovered from, it has now become much more fragile. You no longer need to fear permanent death, but you can look forward to getting killed a lot by things that really have no business killing you.
"So that's how I broke your neck!"
"Yeah, that would… Wait you broke my neck!"
"What do you care? You're fine now!"
"That hurt! A lot! Getting kicked in the face and having your neck snap are two totally different kinds of pain!"
"Sir was also cut in half, if he recalls." The guide wasn't helping but to be honest, it was kind of amusing.
"Cut in half? How did you even do that!"
"It's not my fault if you can't take a simple kick!" Genma took up his crying position. "Oh what shame! That the heavens would curse me with such a fragile son!"
Ranma appropriately replied with a roundhouse kick to the back of the head, and continued reading.
There are also some other things to note, while on the topic of repeated deaths. Due to your newly gained fragility, blows that would ordinarily give you a nasty bruise will now break your arm, and blows that would break your arm will now throw it clean off. Part of the returning to life deal also allows you to regenerate, which can help you avoid death, and allow lost limbs to be easily replaced in a matter of seconds.
Witnesses may note that it takes a short while for you to revive, as opposed to the much shorter time frame in which you could regenerate a limb, or recover from lighter wounds. This is due to the fact that once you die, all bodily functions will shut down for a short moment. For these few seconds, you are dead to the world. Eventually, your healing ability will kick in automatically. If you were cut into pieces, then the part of you that starts living again is whichever part contains the heart, or the largest amount of whatever is left of the heart.
Revival should take no less than ten seconds, and no more than thirty. Regeneration on the other hand, will often be done in a matter of less than five seconds, depending on the size of the lost limb or appendage. After revival or regeneration has taken place, all blood lost will dissolve, making cleanup much easier, but the lost appendage will not, and must be disposed of manually.
Upon revival you will often feel groggy and hung over. This is a result of jumpstarting the brain, which could cause massive irreparable damage in a normal human, but as a homunculus, you need not worry about such trivial things.
Just remember your abilities, and try to avoid strenuous situations and you'll be fine. In the meantime, check out our other tourist attractions in various locations! Ranma looked at the back of the pamphlet and saw several pictures of large elaborate circles with different countries captioned beneath them.
"So I can look forward to dying a lot now… great."
"Is unfortunate customer." The guide nodded his head. "Now I must ask for brochure back. Only has one, so must reuse for other customers."
"Ah sure." Ranma gave the guide the pamphlet. "Is there a cure?"
"Is no cure. Hot water only temporary."
Genma and Ranma, were not pleased, to say the least.
"And there you have it." Genma concluded his story as Ranma worked some kinks out of his neck. The Tendos were silent.
"That has to be the dumbest most outlandish story I've ever heard." Nabiki shook her head.
"It's all true." Ranma said. "My head's even sitting there in the backyard to prove it." That much Nabiki understood, but she was still trying not to look at the dismembered head. At least she didn't have blood in her hair anymore.
"It must be terribly inconvenient having such a condition, being a martial artist and all" Kasumi observed.
"I'm working around it, changing up my style. Soon I'll be able to hold my own while I regenerate."
Akane just sat there silently. She was having a good amount of trouble just comprehending the situation. She wanted to apologize, but it was just so… awkward. What was she supposed to say? "I'm sorry I decapitated you"? Finally working up the courage, she it. "Sorry." Albeit it was a whisper, but she said it.
"What?" Ranma leaned forward. "You're gonna have to speak up."
"I'm sorry that I hit you with a table." Akane was still looking down.
Ranma shrugged. "Don't sweat it. I'm tough enough to take a couple of beheadings"
Akane looked up and smiled a bit, happy to be forgiven.
"Besides, that barely qualified for what I normally take. I've met tons of people who hit harder than you."
Akane's eye twitched.
"I mean, sure the table's kinda impressive, but I've seen girls throw boulders at me. Really I don't think that held a candle up to what some of those girls did."
Okay, now he was really pushing it.
"In fact, if it weren't for this curse, I'll bet I'd have barely felt that."
For the second time that night, Ranma's head went flying across the Tendos' yard.
"Now that, he had coming." Genma proclaimed.
Soun simply nodded in agreement.
Walking atop the cliffs next to Jusenkyo was a certain lost boy, Ryouga Hibiki. "Curse you Ranma," he mumbled to himself. "I'll make you pay for walking out on our duel."
Ryouga had been traveling on his own for a long while, having hoped to locate his arch rival Ranma, in order to get his well-earned revenge. Locating him was turning out to be an issue though. "This is all your fault Ranma!" His yell echoed throughout the valley. A completely deserted area, or so he thought. He was therefore very surprised when he heard someone running towards him.
Looking to the direction of the sound, he prepared his umbrella, in case whoever it was meant him ill will. He then dropped his guard when he saw what it was.
"Legs?" What appeared to be a lower torso was running towards him at a reckless speed. "How does-" the rest of the lost boy's sentence was cut off as the lower torso jumped in the air, and used his face as a spring board, pushing him down the perilous plunge to the valley of the cursed springs.
"RAAAAAAAAAANMAAAAAAAAAAAA!" His cry of rage was only stopped after a loud splash.
Okay, So I really wish that writing could come just as easy as this did. I literally started this one night, and finished it less than twenty four hours later. If I could get the rest of my writing to come this easy, I'd have many more posts on ff. Anyhow, I'm back, with my first contribution to the alternate spring fics. This was an idea I'd gotten while watching the FMA anime. Particularly the episode where Greed has his minion chop his head off to show that he's a homunculus. I'll put it like this. There are fics where Ranma gets killed. There are fics where Ranma gets killed for kicks and giggles. Then there are fics where Ranma gets killed multiple times… for kicks and giggles. Thus the reason he is now a homunculus, but let's not forget power and sensibility. Although Ranma is now unkillable… or rather unable to be permanently killed, and can now regenerate, there must be a balance, so we make it so he needs to be able to self-revive and regenerate. Anyhow, odds are, this won't get continued, and if it does, it'll be a while. In the meantime, all of my other stories are up for grabs, 'cuz I just can't find the time to continue a story I never planned on continuing. As for this story, continuation is a resounding maybe. I've got some ideas, and I don't want to just do a rehash of the manga. We'll just have to see later.