Waiting

by past decembers

...Then there's the guilt. It drapes around you like a thick winter blanket, smothering, heavy. You flounder around to find the light, to get that weight off your shoulders, but there's no way out. That's how I felt when I found out I killed my mother.

So...hey, everyone. This is my first The Secret Life of Bees fanfic; I've written for other topics before, but not this one. So, quite obviously, I'm new to this subject, and it would be appreciated if you could, I don't know, leave a review after you read and tell me what you think? (:

This is a oneshot, told in Lily's point of view. Hope you like it. (:

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There's the sorrow.

It chokes you, weakens you, crushes you. It leaves you helpless, like a leaf swirling on the wind. It gushes out of you in the form of tears. It doesn't stop. And you're thinking, why, why, why?

Then there's the guilt.

It drapes around you like a thick winter blanket, smothering, heavy. You flounder around to find the light, to get that weight off your shoulders, but there's no way out.

That's how I felt when I found out I killed my mother.

I don't remember much, only empty hangers dancing on the clothesline; an open suitcase; my mother's voice saying Hurry, hurry.

Then the stomp of feet on the stairs; the way she looked at me, letting me know that in that instant, her stomach had dropped to her feet.

Then T. Ray and my mother screaming at each other; the gun dropping to the floor; me reaching over and grasping the hilt, wanting to give it back to my mother.

Then a boom.

And nothing but silence.

Thick, heavy silence.

The kind of silence that makes you want to say something, and say it loud, but the words are lost before they ever meet your tongue.

You don't know what to say, you don't know what to do, and it hurts, it hurts bad -

Reconciliation.

That's what always happens, right? You find a way to get that blanket off your shoulders; to get that breath of fresh air and start over again? Where you can come in terms with your soul, and that feeling of relief and conscientiousness washes over you, and all is right again? Do you know that feeling?

I'm still waiting.

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Okay, sorry that was kind of short...but tell me what you think and leave a review? I know not that many people read/write The Secret Life of Bees fanfics, so I'd like to get at least 2 or 3 - not much to ask, right?

*silence, crickets chirping*

*coughs* Alright.

Please review :D

-Bridgit