Yes. For you.
XO -
"Are you sure this is a good idea?"
"Not really, but baby - kiss me."
Not one to disobey Rachel in moments like these, Quinn pushes her body onto Rachel and kisses her.
They don't have a lot of time - their friends are coming and no one knows they are seeing each other. As far as everyone knows, the girls are friends, but Rachel reckons it's the thrill of being found out that makes it so hot.
The lights in the auditorium are out. Rachel takes that to her advantage and gropes Quinn, pushing back just as hard as Quinn is insisting. It's a push and pull between their souls, their hearts, themselves. Their relationship has always been like this - a competition of sorts, a place where they are never good enough and never not good enough.
It's dark, but Quinn can feel Rachel's light through the shadows cast upon them by the one light turned on by the piano. She can fell Rachel's heart glowing, almost in the literal sense of the idea. Rachel feels warm throughout, wherever her hands fall. She grabs her by the waist and pulls her closer, knowing they don't have forever.
It's almost as if thinking about it makes it true, because she hears Artie's voice coming through the curtains.
Rachel steps away imperceptibly but Quinn follows, unwilling to let Rachel go just yet. Her lips are red, from the pressure of Rachel's lips on hers. She licks them and lets her forehead fall to Rachel's. "We have to go," she says, a sad smile on her lips. She loves sneaking around with Rachel but sometimes she wishes everyone could know how much she loves her girlfriend.
"Unfortunately I do have a Glee club to run," Rachel nods along, peeking through the black curtain behind Quinn's shoulder. Mercedes is singing her runs loudly and Santana and Puck are figuring out who can hold a note longest.
"Babe, you do know that you don't run the Glee club." Quinn says, gently cupping Rachel's cheeks in her hand, effectively bringing those eyes back to her. "Mr. Schue does." She pecks Rachel softly.
It's not fair, when Quinn reminds her like that and then kisses her with those lips. She pouts into the kiss but refuses to stop savoring her lips. "Technicalities, Quinn," Rachel finally says when the kiss breaks apart. "Mr. Schue is really only here because we need a faculty sponsor. Everyone knows I'm the head behind this club."
Quinn laughs, indulging Rachel with a nod and saying, "you're actually so right but I hate encouraging your behavior." Quinn wraps her arms around Rachel's neck pulling her in for a kiss. "But hey, did you see he managed to get the decorations for this week's lesson? It looks amazing out there."
Rachel does admit to this, "you're right. It does look beautiful from the audience when you look up at us. It just always makes me wonder where he gets the money to pull this off almost every week. We need that money to go to our outfits!"
"Rach," Quinn smiles warmly. This is one of Rachel's favorite smile because she knows Quinn reserves it only for her: the way her eyes crinkle and her nose follows in an adorable scrunch; the way her rose lips part to show immaculate teeth; the way her eyes shine with excitement and love and everything all at once. "You're being silly. Enjoy it."
She squeezes Quinn, hard and unapologetically around her waist, and breathes in the smell of her - vanilla and coconut from the shampoo and body wash she uses. "Okay, fine. Let's get out there and face them."
With one last kiss, they part. Quinn speaks into Rachel's mouth, "I'll see you on the other side," and then she disappears behind the thick curtain that leads onstage. Rachel exits through the back, to make a proper entrance through the main doors and to avoid any suspicion from the others.
But it's always like this with Rachel. The moment she steps into the room, Quinn's gaze finds her. It's like everything goes into slow-mo, because Rachel is already giving out orders about warming up and dance steps, and all Quinn can hear is the sound of her heart thumping faster.
She's brought back by the snap of Sam's fingers in front of her and he wonders out loud if she's okay, to which she simply mutters, "I'm fine."
Rachel turns toward her and winks briefly, only for Quinn, and it melts Quinn's poor, fragile human heart. She feels the other girl's presence from feet away, with 10 other bodies in between them.
They start practicing. The lights in the auditorium dim further than they were before. The song begins, the slow cadence, the feel is nostalgic almost. Rachel begins singing, with Santana doing her echo.
Your love is bright as ever (ever, ever)
even in the shadows (shadows, shadows)
baby kiss me (kiss me, kiss me)
before they turn the lights out (turn the lights out)
The rest of the Glee club follow their own steps, Rachel doing her own thing of being amazing singing the lead and leading the group. They join Santana in the echo and the rest of the band begins playing along.
Suddenly, there are a thousand little lights behind them, shining X O. It looks like constellations of stars inside. There are shadows making the silhouettes of the group - the contrast beautiful.
Your heart is glowing (glowing, glowing, glowing)
And I'm crashing into you (into you, into you, into you)
Baby, kiss me (kiss me, kiss me, kiss me)
Before they turn the lights out (the lights out)
Before they turn the lights out (the lights out)
Baby, love me lights out
In the darkest night hour (in the darkest night hour)
I'll search through the crowd (I'll search through the crowd)
Your face is all that I see
I'll give you everything
Baby, love me lights out
Baby, love me lights out
You can turn my lights out
I love you like XO
You love me like XO
You kill me girl XO
You love me like XO
All that I see
Give me everything
Baby, love me lights out
Baby, love me lights out
You can turn my lights out
But even in the darkness, Rachel searches for her - the crowd composed of her friends and teammates is not enough to keep her from finding Quinn's eyes, she can see her face. Rachel performs for her, the love of her life.
She's known for a long time now that she's in love with Quinn. It did take some time for her to get there and accept it, but once she did there was no backing out - she would love her with all of her being. It went and shook her to her very core, the way Quinn just made sense; just fit with her.
With practice over, Rachel dismisses the club. Mr. Schue didn't even show. The rest of the club each slowly filter out, leaving Rachel and Quinn alone - just as they had been about a couple hours ago. This thing they have, it's more than just a physical thing, although Quinn was the most beautiful girl she's ever seen. It's also emotional. They could sense so much of the other that no one else understood.
And this is why this song felt perfect and like it fit them in every sense of the world: even through the darkness in their history, Rachel could find Quinn. They would pull away - run away, - but they always came back to each other. If someone else from the school, or from Glee club even, broke one of their hearts, they would always go to each other. In the most random of times, in the most random of places - it was like they had a magnetic pull with each other.
So she's known for a long time now that she's in love with Quinn, but the people in their lives could not yet understand. They had to love in the secrets of the night, and in the quiet hidden corners of their world.
Quinn approached her slow, noticing that Rachel was thinking about something.
"You did amazing," she says breaking the thin silent that has developed as their friends left. The atmosphere feels vulnerable, but she ventures on, powered by the way Rachel looked at her through the song.
Rachel turns to her then, a bashful smile bitten back. "Hey."
"Hi," Quinn says and tries not to ruin it by asking something stupid. She forces herself not to frown at how different this feels.
"Don't be afraid, honey." Rachel stretches her hand out to Quinn who takes it without hesitation and invades her space. They haven't yet said it to each other, but when Rachel asks, "You love me, don't you?" she does so without a hint of confusion or fear of the answer. She knows, she's not asking for reassurance or for curiosity. She's asking because she knows.
"Just as much, if not more, than how much you love me," Quinn replies.
"We have a beautiful thing."
"Yes," Quinn agrees, still unsure of where this is going, but not worried anymore.
Quinn interlaces their fingers and leans forward to capture Rachel's cherry lips. "Hm," Rachel purrs. "You're tastier now than two hours ago, is that possible?"
They share a giggle, Quinn wrapping her arm around Rachel to lead them out of the auditorium.
"We gotta go, they're about to turn the lights out."
As if on cue, the main stage lights that had turned on after their practice turns off. Quinn laughs, and stops Rachel one more time before they walk out into the hallways. "I love you."
"I love you." Rachel retorts and kisses Quinn on the cheek, hitting the corner of her mouth.
To anyone else, their love may be considered a malfunction - something must be wrong; something must be going on. It's strange, it's unexpected. But it's why it's that much more real.
They don't make an explanation as to how they fell in love, when they do eventually come out to their friends, they don't pay attention to the comments or the looks. They ignore the way the school feels smaller than ever, because those people are just hopelessly gazing - what they do pay attention to is each other. The way the other always seems to be there.
The way their love is warm.
And the way that the lights haven't turned off for them quite yet.
I love you like XO
You love me like XO
You kill me, girl, XO
You love me like XO
All that I see
Give me everything
Baby, love me lights out
Baby, love me lights out
You can turn my lights out
AN: A one-shot that doesn't necessarily make sense but needed to get out of me. This song gives me feels.