So, this idea popped into my head this afternoon and I had to turn it into a fic, hope you all enjoy :-)
It was a Tuesday afternoon in late February, and Sirius was bored. To tell the honest truth, Sirius was often bored now, especially given the small issue of his Godson being at Hogwarts until the summer. As for entertainment, well, Remus was becoming as much fun as McGonagall, Tonks had a superb lack of free time given both her Auror career and Order roster, Bill was in a similar scenario as Tonks, given the amount of overtime he seemed to be putting in at Gringotts. And so, poor Sirius appeared to be experiencing a similar existence to that of his fifteen year old self.
To his relief though, at around half four in the afternoon, the door opened, then proceeded to slam shut. Footsteps sounded, signalling that somebody was here to abate his loneliness. Sirius quickly shoved the bottle of firewhiskey out of sight under the kitchen table as the door swung open, Sirius being greeted by his first cousin once removed Tonks. Although Sirius was not the most perceptive of people, he could immediately tell that something was wrong. Tonks's hair was not it's usual bubblegum pink, nor was it any other vibrant colour. It was mousy brown, the same colour as Andromeda's. Not to mention, of course, the expression on his little cousin's face was enough to put a Death Eater in a bad mood to shame. In short, Sirius summarised that something terrible must have happened.
"Er, Tonks?" Sirius asked cautiously as the witch pulled out a chair and sank into it, burying her head in the arms.
"Yes Sirius?" She mumbled, not looking up from her position. Sirius got up, walked all the way around his side of the table, then back down the other end until he was sat next to his dear cousin.
"So, who died?" He tried to sound casual, sound as though he wasn't terrified at her extremely out of character behaviour.
"Me," Tonks whispered, then, sitting up straight and leaning back in her chair she let out a huge sigh. "Merlin, I've made such a clown of myself Sirius. Haven't got a time turner, have we? I could do with going back and erasing my entire existence." Tonks ran a hand through her hair, a habit she'd picked up from her cousin. Careful not to antagonise her, Sirius put his arm around her shoulder.
"Sorry Nymphie, we don't. Now, tell your big cousin Sirius what happened." Tonks turned to look at him, her grey eyes watery. Realising this, she quickly wiped at them with the back of her hand, smudging the small amount of eyeliner she had on and causing her to resemble a panda. Sensibly, Sirius kept this thought to himself.
"So," Tonks began. "I was out on that stupid tip off Mad-Eye got about Lucius Malfoy and Dolohov meeting up in Scarborough. They never showed up, so that was a right waste of time. Anyway, the person I'd been stationed there with was, well, I -" She stumbled off and to Sirius's amusement, a blush had formed on her otherwise pale cheeks. "I like them, Sirius. I really, really like them. As we were waiting we started chatting, just random stuff, you know? I paid a compliment to ... er, a mutual friend of ours. My partner took offence, seemed really resentful and jealous so, in order to shut him up I told him how I feel about him. Well, he rejected me then completely ignored me until we called off the activity." Without giving Sirius any type of warning, she suddenly burst into tears and, leaning into his shoulder began crying more. At a loss of what to do, Sirius timidly patted her on the back.
"There, there," He said in a similar tone to the one he had used on James many years ago after a particularly harsh rejection from Lily.
"What did I do wrong?" Tonks continued, still hidden beneath his shoulder.
"Nothing Tonks, nothing," He pacified. "Now, is this a bloke we're talking about?"
"Don't sound too surprised Sirius." She threatened from inside the jumper. Sirius backtracked.
"I'm just gaining pers- Oh don't bother. Now, is it someone I know?" Her lack of response was enough confirmation for him.
"Right - Bill Weasley?"
"What about him?" She asked tiredly. That meant no.
"Hmm - Kingsley?"
"No."
"Snape?!"
"Ew, Sirius really?" At least this had made her withdraw her face from his shoulder, a look of disgust on her face. Sirius held up his hands in mock surrender.
"'kay, not Snape. Ooh, is it-"
"Sirius," She interrupted in a stern tone. "How exactly is this making me feel any better?" Sirius pouted.
"Well, next time they stay overnight, if I know who it is, they may awaken to find the Grim starring down at them." He did a very serious death stare which caused her to finally laugh. In his head, Sirius did a mini punch and jump in the air - he'd succeeded! Tonks leant back again and stretched, looking as she did over at the clock.
"Hey Sirius, tell me that clock's fast?' She asked. Sirius turned to look.
"Nope, if anything dear cousin, that clock is slow. Twenty minutes slow to be precise." Tonks rose from her chair so quickly she sent it toppling to the ground.
"Shit! Shit, shit, shit! I was meant to relieve Kingsley twenty minutes ago. Fuck I'll be in trouble." Without even yelling goodbye she turned, fell over the chair on the floor, scrambled up and sprinted to the front door. Sirius roared with laughter well after she'd gone, and was in for a surprise when, a good hour after Tonks's departure, the door sounded again. It wasn't Tonks though. Into the kitchen walked Remus Lupin, looking just as miserable as Tonks had earlier. Sirius shrugged to himself, maybe there was something in the water?
"What's the matter, Moony?" Sirius asked, musing that perhaps once his name was clear he could become a therapist. Remus sighed, picking up the discarded chair on the floor and sitting down on it.
"God, I've messed up Padfoot," Remus murmured, sounding moody. "I was sent to investigate a tip off and, right no laughing here, I may have fallen for the person I was partnered with. But who's being realistic here, it can't happen. I'm far too dangerous, not to mention poor, so I said to her it can't happen." To Sirius's astonishment, Remus hit the table with his fist in frustration. "A completely rubbish stakeout, one, I humiliated myself, two, I upset someone, and three, Malfoy and Dolohov never showed up." Sirius opened his mouth to begin comfort, then closed it, causing him to resemble a goldfish. Tonks had mentioned Malfoy and Dolohov, and she'd been in here an hour ago crying about some man rejecting her. What a coincidence! Perhaps he could get Remus and Tonks to talk about what each other had gone through, given they'd both been partnered with jerks.
"Don't worry Moony, who is this woman?" Remus shook his head.
"Of all people, Sirius, I don't know if I can tell you."
"Oh come on," Sirius pleaded. "I'm already trying to figure out who broke Tonks's heart, man, when I figure out who that is..." He punched his fist into his hand menacingly. To his surprise, Remus's eyes suddenly darted towards the door. Sirius thought it very peculiar until something clicked in his brain. They'd been on the same mission, which meant Remus had rejected Tonks and was feeling guilty. It also explained why neither had told him who it was, this was putting him in an awkward scenario. As the realisation came crashing onto him, Sirius felt as though his eyes were about to pop out of their sockets.
"Hang on, you were partnered up with Tonks for that mission, and you've both come sobbing to me about your broken hearts." At this, Remus stood up rather hurriedly, but Sirius, who had anticip such a reaction, beat him heading straight to the door and blocking the escape route. Remus swallowed.
"Well," He said, crossing his arms. "I've got time to kill, so let's sit down and listen to why you've upset my little cousin, after all, I promised I'd avenge her misery." The look on Lupin's face was priceless. If only the ground could swallow him up, for an overprotective and bored Sirius was a force to be reckoned with.