So this is my entry for day 2 of Faberry Week: The Sequel. The prompt was "Jealousy". I first intended to finish this in a very different way but, what can I say, I'm a sucker for angst. Enjoy!
Since their arrival at their respective new school, Rachel and Quinn had kept in contact as much as possible. They skyped every few nights, texted during the day and had seen each other once, thanks to the metro passes Quinn had bought.
It was funny how Rachel got this uncomfortable feeling in her stomach every time Quinn mentioned Bryan, a guy she'd met in one of her classes.
It was also funny how Quinn's blood started boiling every time Rachel talked about Brody, a guy she'd met in the dorm showers.
But the most hilarious (and quite sad, I must admit) part of it was that both girls were very aware of their feelings for the other. And they were very adamant that they weren't going to say a word about it.
It all happened a Saturday in November. It was a boring day, really. Rain was ruining everyone's day, except Rachel's. Her best friend was coming over for the weekend and she wanted every single thing to be perfect. She had planned it all already.
She was going to show Quinn NYADA , they would go for a picnic in Central Park, Rachel had gotten them tickets to a show, to name a few. Not a single second they would be bored.
But for now, all she could do was sit on a bench, outside the station. The brown haired girl looked at her watch for the hundredth time that day. Quinn was supposed to be here ten minutes ago. Ten minutes ago. They were going to be behind on the schedule, and Rachel didn't like it one bit.
When a mass of people came started getting out of the station, Rachel got up, like she'd done every time she had heard those doors slide open. But this time, through the crowd, she saw that fleeting mess of short blonde hair she'd been waiting for.
Clapping her hands excitedly, she called out her friend's name. Two seconds later, Rachel had Quinn's arms holding her, with her own wrapped around the blonde's shoulders and neck. "I've missed you so much."
The blonde shivered as Rachel's voice rang so close to her ear, the shorter girl's breath so close to her neck, the little diva's body so close to hers. "I've missed you too."
They stayed like that for a while, simply enjoyed being in each other's arms, before finally letting go. They were still very close and their gazes were locked together. Rachel's voice broke the silence.
"Let's go home."
"-followed by dinner at a nice restaurant and then, I have a surprise for you!"
"I assume tomorrow's plans are made already, right?"
"I will not let you mock me for trying to make this weekend perfect, Quinn Fabray." Quinn could see in Rachel's eyes that she was moments away from stomping her foot and doing yet another dramatic exit. She wore a slightly flushed face, with determined traits, and a glare stuck firmly in place, directed at Quinn, obviously.
The sight only served to make the blonde laugh and in seconds, she had trouble breathing. Then Rachel stomped on the ground and she choked on a giggle that had tried to come out of her mouth at the same time.
Once Quinn had calmed down and taken a deep breath, she looked up to see Rachel staring at her with the same expression she wore before Quinn's laughter episode. "I'm sorry Rach, I didn't mean to laugh at you."
Rachel immediately broke into a grin: "Well, as I was saying, tonight is a surprise, as is tomorrow. But I can, however, share the information that we will be picnicking in Central Park while you are in the city."
"Will your oh-so-perfect best friend Brody be there," Quinn mumbled under her breath. Last time she'd come to New York, they had spent a lot of time with Brody and it had pissed Quinn off a lot, thinking she'd spent the whole weekend alone with her little star, with maybe Kurt a bit too. But there had been no Kurt, and too much Brody. She had thought that comment would go unnoticed, having been spoken far too softly, but she was wrong.
The shorter girl's smile faltered, sensing the change in her friend's mood. "What did you say? I- I didn't understand."
"Nothing, Rachel, it's okay, I'm sorry."
"No, really, I want to know! Is there something I should be aware of?"
"Rachel, it was nothing, I promise, it doesn't matter." Quinn's tone was more and more exasperated.
"No, Quinn, you don't get to do this. I'm not letting you push me away and shut off completely. What did you say, if it's not important, why can't I know?" Rachel was desperate, Quinn had gone from happy to seemingly sad and angry in seconds and she had no idea why.
"Well, fine then, if you really insist! I just don't like him. Your I'm-so-flawless best boyfriend Brody." Quinn's voice was angry and it almost seemed like she was becoming that girl again.
"He's the only friend I've made since I've been here. Why must you always try to ruin things for me? By the way, if you'd listened to me at all during the past few months, you'd be aware of the fact that he is nothing more than a friend."
"Who clearly wants nothing more than to sleep with you. I have met him once, we hung out less than two days, and I know that. He only wants to get into your pants Rach, I'm just trying to protect you!"
Rachel's eyes were glazed in fury. "Just tell me one thing, Fabray. Why would my love life be so important to you? Why do you care so much, maybe I want him to get into my pants?" Her tone was menacing and angry, fueling Quinn's own anger.
"Because you're my friend! Probably the closest I've had, and I don't want him to get between us!"
The two young women were screaming by now. "He is only getting between us since you started this conversation. What's even going on with that, are you jealous of my relationship with him? Or are you just trying to ruin yet another one of my relationships with guys, like you've always done?"
Hurt flashed in Quinn's eyes for a second. "How can you even believe that? I know I can never be forgiven for all I've done to you, but I thought you knew I would never go back to being that person to you, or anyone else. It's because I'm jealous, fine! You're spending all your time with him, and the last time I got to see you, he had to be there the whole time, wow!"
"I don't even spend that much time with him! He was there that day because I hadn't seen him much that week, and I wanted my best friend and the only friend I've made here to meet, it's as simple as that! You and I, we talk almost every day, skyping and texting and you're jealous of him? Why do you always need more, why do you always need to have more than the rest, to be better than everyone else, why do you feel that need to spend more time with me than he does, what's your problem? Uh, what is it?"
"It's because I love you, okay!" As those three words left Quinn's mouth, she realized she'd made a mistake. She crossed a line she had vowed never to.
Hand pressed over mouth, she took a few steps back. She started crying softly, without a sound. Every second, the reality of what she'd just said dawned on her more, and the consequences that it could, and would, have were becoming obvious to her. She had simply just ruined her friendship with one of the most special people in her life.
"It can't be true, it's not true. Why would you lie about something like that?" Rachel stuttered out, ending with a pleading tone. Tears were running down her tanned cheeks. The brunette could simply not understand why her friend would try to convince her of such ridiculous statement.
"I'm sorry Rachel, I didn't mean to say it, it was completely inappropriate on my part. But it is true."
"I can't deal with you right now, not if you keep saying that. I- I'm going to go take a shower."
"Rach..." But the shorter girl was already gone.
Quinn let herself fall to the ground, her head was spinning and she couldn't breathe. She let out the sobs she had been holding in and cried, as the sound of the shower provided her with something other than silence, to make her feel less alone.
When she heard Rachel come out of the shower, she forced herself to stop crying and got up to fix herself, with the help of the mirror hanging on the wall close to where she was and the makeup she was thankfully always carrying in her bag.
Rachel came back a few minutes later, with different clothes and wet hair. "So, as we are late on schedule, we must move past the first activity and go to the second one immediately!" Her voice seemed happy and energetic, but there was a sad and robotic tone to it.
Quinn had no choice but pretending everything was okay, just like Rachel was doing.
The rest of the weekend was spent awkwardly, and in silence for the most part. The two girls couldn't even enjoy the activities they were taking part in, their minds being taken elsewhere. When Quinn had to leave on Sunday night, there was no hug and barely a goodbye at the metro station.
The blonde spent the whole ride crying alone on her seat, feeling more alone than she had in a while. She blamed herself for ruining things. Rachel was right, she was always the one to ruin things for everyone else, but also, for herself.
Rachel went back home in taxi and didn't ask for the change as she got out, throwing far too much money at the driver. When she entered her apartment, Kurt wasn't back from another one of his karaoke nights at some bar in the city. She crumbled down on the floor, letting herself cry for the first time since her fight with Quinn.
She let all her frustration pour out with those tears. She couldn't understand anything of what was happening with Quinn. For months, Rachel had let herself believe that her friend had changed, and would never go back to the mean girl she was to Rachel a few years ago.
But she was obviously very wrong. Rachel had had a crush on Quinn for years, it had started back when she and Quinn weren't even friends, which happened unwittingly. When she realized her feelings for the blonde ran deeper than friendship, she tried to hide them, but now she couldn't handle Quinn pretending her feelings were reciprocated.
The only reason she could think of was that Quinn had found out about her feelings for her and hated her for it, then planned revenge, to punish Rachel for ruining everything between them. Rachel knew she was always the one ruining things, she couldn't believe she'd let herself blame it on Quinn, even if she didn't think the words coming out of her mouth were true.
The world was spinning faster and faster around Rachel, as she thought about the motivation behind the blonde's actions. Her friend's reaction didn't even make sense. Why would Quinn cry at first, but stay there for the rest of the weekend, without even bringing up the subject?
Rachel was drowning in her confusion, letting all her thoughts run around her head and crush her. There was no explanation, but there was this certainty: Quinn could never love Rachel, but Rachel could never not love Quinn.