A/N Welcome to my first fanfiction story! It's a collaboration with my writing muse and cousin, Leeisme! We are huge Mestiny fans! So, we wanted to tell our version of their story! LOL! This series is primarily based on canon, but there will be some changes to make a few events how we wished they'd happened on the show. Also, we don't watch OLTL 2.0. Our series is written with the network series in mind. Therefore, Matthew and Destiny are based on the characters as created by Eddie Alderson and Shennell Edmonds!
A million thanks go out to our Mestiny sisters and our Samcedes sisters, who have encouraged me and Lee to take the writing leap! We're working on this series and soon will begin a Samcedes fic under Lee's pen name! It's so exciting!
By the way, we own none of the characters, television shows, name brands, music, etc. mentioned and have rights to nothing. We've just borrowed them for entertainment purposes!
Blessings!
Allie
DESTINED LOVE: THE BEGINNING
Chapter One
Matthew's POV
January 13, 2012
The day our son, Drew, was born, I felt like God poked me with a big stick and my life really began. I remember every detail vividly from Destiny's labor to seeing Drew for the first time.
By happenstance or most likely divine intervention, most of the people closest to me and Destiny were there in the family room of the Buchanan mansion. Some, like Destiny and her family, had been there for a gathering to watch the final episode of their favorite soap opera, Fraternity Row. Others, like my parents, had come to say "Good-bye" to my cousin Rex and his family, as they left for their new life in England earlier that afternoon. Me, I had come to see my Destiny, hoping and praying that I had not blown my chances with the girl I love. I walked into the room totally unaware of what happened minutes before I arrived.
I later found out that Destiny's water broke and our parents scrambled trying to get her to the hospital. But as fate would have it, Vivian, Destiny's OB/GYN, who was also her brother Shaun's girlfriend, notified everyone that the baby was coming right then. There was no time to get to the hospital. My mom, dad, Destiny's parents, Mr. and Mrs. Evans, her brother, Shaun, and Nigel, our family butler, were there when the drama started, lending a hand the best they could.
By the time I arrived, the contractions close in time and intense! Destiny was screaming in agony. Eventually, all of us watched amazed as Destiny delivered our baby, right there on the sofa. She claimed that she was scared, but I couldn't tell. I marveled as I coached her as best I could. I hadn't been to the birthing classes or anything. But I was there holding Destiny's hand, rubbing her back and telling her "We're in this together!" as she continued to do what she had to do to bring our son into the world. As I held Destiny's hand, I spoke all the words of support and encouragement I could think of as she pushed and yelled.
I thought about all the things we'd been through in the nearly three years since we met: I had been paralyzed, sued my parents, escaped from boarding school, thought I had committed murder and in a coma for 6 months for starters, with Destiny there to support me through all of it. She had her own issues too. A little over a year ago she found out that her brother, Greg, the world renowned surgeon, who helped me walk again, was actually her father and her parents were her grandparents. If that wasn't enough, it turned out that Greg was somehow involved in the death of Destiny's birth mother, Charlene, who happened to be his brother Shaun's girlfriend at the time. Greg is serving time in Statesville prison for crimes he committed trying to keep the truth from Destiny and Shaun. But even with all we'd been through, our son's birth was the most amazing thing I'd seen up to that point.
After some discussion, we agreed to name him Drew after my brother, a policeman, who gave his life in the line of duty before I was even born.
"Happy Birthday Drew!" I said with tears streaming from my eyes as I leaned over to kiss my son.
Wow, I have a son! He's perfect! I thought, as I looked at my little guy- amazed.
"Matthew, you okay?" Destiny's concerned voice drew me from my momentary haze.
"Yeah," I responded smiling hesitantly.
"But you're crying…"
"Can't help it! He's just so beautiful!" I looked up and saw Destiny looking at me with tears forming in her sparkling brown eyes. I thought I saw love beginning to eclipse the confusion and anger that dwelled there for far too long.
"So is his mom," I finally choked out kissing her forehead. Relieved that she let me kiss her, I eliminated the space between us and placed my arms around Destiny and our son, as she held him close to her. I tried to commit every detail of that moment to memory from the lavender scent of Destiny's hair to the way her smooth chocolate skin seemed to compliment my rougher vanilla skin, to the way her beautiful full lips curled up when she gave me that smile that I now knew made my life worth living. As I held them, the other people in the room disappeared. It was as if the world contained only us: me, Destiny and Drew.
"I'm glad you're here" Destiny whispered.
"Me too," I replied softly, afraid of saying too much, opening a floodgate of emotions. I didn't want to look like a weak and sappy loser in front of the brave beautiful girl who'd just given birth to our son, not in the prepared comfort of a hospital, but on a sofa in my Grandpa Asa's mansion. I had been a stupid, selfish jerk from the day I woke up from my coma and I found out about our child. I'd hit my head and almost died. I didn't want to give up my newly restored life to raise a kid that I didn't want and hadn't planned for- a mistake. But, the moment I walked into my grandpa's and saw Destiny, my best friend, the girl I love in pain, needing my support, I knew that crap had to stop. My big brother, David, was right. Scared, stupid and weak was not a good look for a Buchanan. I didn't want to be that guy. Instead, I wanted to be the guy that Destiny and Drew could count on. Don't get me wrong, I was terrified! As I held Destiny and Drew, I knew I was in over my head. I realized that in a few short hours I had gone from an 18 year old "cretin" willing to deny his child to a man with a family.
Holy crap! I should be running for the door! I thought, but I sat there smiling.
Why am I sitting here grinning like an idiot? I asked myself. Then, I quickly answered my own question.
Because you have all you'll ever need in your arms-a voice from inside reassured me. So, instead of plotting my hasty retreat, my mind reeled with possibilities and love for Destiny and our son.
I like the sound of that!
But as I looked at her, I remembered the hell I put her through: the anger, the doubt, the stupid words that came out of my mouth, my running away to D.C. in a desperate attempt to outrun the reality that I now held close. I needed a moment to make sure that Destiny understood that I regretted the past two months and more. I needed to show her, no, make her understand how much I loved them both, that I would be there for them. They could depend on me. I began thinking of how to formulate the words without them sounding stupid or contrived when my thoughts were interrupted.
"Bud, we need to get Destiny and Drew to the hospital," my Dad said beaming. He seemed so proud, so happy. He and my mom had been there for Destiny during the pregnancy when I wasn't able to be and then when I refused to be. I smiled at my dad silently thanking him for all he'd done to keep my family safe and healthy until his stubborn, selfish son came to his senses. He smiled at me and gave a nod of acknowledgement.
"Ok," I agreed hesitantly, still trying to hold on to that moment. "Is it okay if I take Drew?" I asked his mom shyly.
Destiny gave me a weary smile and nodded "yes".
I was shaking a little as Destiny placed our little boy in my arms. I had never held a baby that small before. The feeling was new, but it felt so right. I looked up to see tears streaming down Destiny's face. Cradling Drew, I carefully reached over to wipe her tears away with my fingertips.
"Don't worry Des. I won't drop him!" I joked, making her smile.
"I know," she offered. I focused on her eyes, knowing that she would tell me what was wrong when she was ready. One thing I knew about Destiny, she always did things in her own time- when she was ready and not a moment before. "It's just that…" I nodded, encouraging her to continue "I carried him for 9 months. He kicked me. Kept me up all night. Had me eating chili burgers for breakfast. I suffered through hours of incredible pain. You, on the other hand, Matthew, just showed up for the delivery and…he looks exactly like you! No one can tell I'm his mom!" She cried harder. As I surveyed the room, I saw a series of controlled smirks, as everyone, our parents, Shaun, Vivian, and even Nigel tried to keep from laughing. It was a lost cause as they all began laughing hysterically. I pulled Destiny to me and kissed her softly on the lips. "But he has his mother's beautiful eyes," I assured her with a smile.
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The next hour went by quickly. There was so much activity when we arrived at the hospital. Vivian, our moms and Shaun took care of Destiny's and Drew's admission paperwork and escorted Destiny to her room. My dad and Destiny's dad accompanied Drew and me to a small examination room where Dr. Fox, a Pediatrician, checked Drew out from head to toe.
"He is a healthy, beautiful baby, Mr. Buchanan. You and your girlfriend did good work," Dr. Fox exclaimed with a chuckle as he placed Drew in my arms.
"Thanks. That's great news!" I grinned widely. Not just from the news about Drew, but also at hearing someone other than David call Destiny my girlfriend.
Note to self: Make me and Des official as soon as possible.
"How much does he weigh?" Dad asked.
"Yeah, Doc, what're his stats?" Mr. Evans chimed in.
"Drew weighs 7 pounds 3 ounces and he is 21 inches long. Like I said, he is perfectly healthy."
"Wow! You're going to be tall!" Mr. Evans exclaimed touching Drew's small hand.
"Yeah, maybe we shouldn't break the news to Destiny just yet," my dad chuckled. The three of us looked at him quizzically. Noting our confusion, he explained, "Well…at 21 inches, Drew's just a little more than 3 feet shorter than Destiny is and he's only a few hours old." Mr. Evans, my dad and me looked at each other and fell out laughing, recalling Destiny's earlier pout. Drew's height would be one more way he took after me. Dr. Fox shook his head and appeared relieved that he was not involved in our madness.
"I'll have a nurse escort you back to Ms. Evans' room."
"Thanks Doc. You hear that little man? We're going to see mommy!" I grinned and to my surprise, so did Drew!
"Look they have matching grins," Mr. Evans laughed. "Wait 'til Destiny gets a look at that!"
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Sarah, who had to be the world's happiest nurse, led us to Destiny's room. She gushed, blushed and talked the entire trip. Despite the fact that we traveled a total of 1200 feet from room to room, we knew about Sarah's husband, their three kids, the dog, the cat, the…. Man! I felt like I journeyed through the wilderness to get to Destiny.
"Ms. Evans," Sarah grinned singing as we entered Destiny's room, "I brought you some very special company. Drew and his dad and grandpas are here to see you."
Destiny smiled, struggling to sit up in bed. She held her arms out for Drew only to have him intercepted by Mrs. Evans, who was quick enough to play safety in the NFL.
"Not so fast! Drew's Nana and Noni haven't had a chance to hold him yet!" She exclaimed cooing and grinning at Drew with my mom.
I was a little confused. So, I asked, "Noni and Nana?"
Mrs. Evans smiled at me for the first time in… ever and explained, "Yes, I'm Drew's Noni and your mom's his Nana."
"Yeah, we're too hip to be called Grandma or Granny," my mom giggled as the cooing continued.
"Alright ladies… you will have plenty of time to hold Drew," Mr. Evans intervened. "Now, give him back to his momma. It's their time to bond."
My mom reluctantly gave Drew to Destiny. I continued to watch from a distance, allowing Destiny to have space as she held Drew and began to rub his hands and cheeks, kissing him with her soft, pouty lips. As she kissed him, he let out a sigh of contentment.
That's my boy!
I suddenly found myself envious of my son's closeness to his mom. My mind drifted off remembering that afternoon- how good it felt to hold her in my arms, to smell her hair and kiss her.
I really need to tell her how beautiful she is and how much I like her hair like that.
I'd just resolved that I would traverse the room to my chosen spot next to my Destiny when I looked up to see Destiny's brother, Shaun, the human building, 6'3" of pure muscle, standing in front of me, blocking my path.
Crap! Double Crap! Why can't I grow a few inches and 50 pounds of muscle right quick?
Despite having spent hours together in the same room while Destiny gave birth, Shaun and I had not had a conversation since our confrontation in that very same hospital nearly 9 months before.
Shaun overheard me and Destiny arguing as she tried to avoid talking to me about our night together. Just thinking about it made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up in terror!
Flashback
"I know I didn't just hear what I thought I heard…that you and my sister had sex!" Shaun said through gritted teeth, as he looked at me like he would break me in two without a second thought. I took a few steps back widening the distance between me and Shaun, quickly weighing my options of running and dying later or dying a quick and painful death at Shaun's hands now. Then, I could only watch in astonishment as Destiny worked her magic.
"Wha…what you heard was Matthew telling me that he had sex!" She said with a tone that made it clear to Shaun that she was not going to tolerate his eavesdropping.
"He said 'we'!"
He's got you there Baby! I thought.
But once again Destiny pulled the rabbit from her hat…
"Yeah, he and his girlfriend."
"I thought you were his girlfriend!" Shaun said a little confused.
Now, things were getting good. I watched with great interest to see how Destiny would respond. After all, I wanted nothing more than to be her boyfriend.
"Me? We're just friends or we were until you embarrassed me!"
While I should have been grateful that Shaun appeared to be buying Destiny's smoke and mirror routine, my heart sank with her words. I thought we were more than "just friends".
You and me need to get a few things straight Ms. Evans! I thought as I watched Shaun's face become apologetic and he opened his mouth to apologize.
"Sorry, I was looking for Todd Manning. Have you seen him?"
"No!" Destiny practically barked.
"If you do…"
"I'll call you," Destiny offered with a combination of annoyance and indignation that only she could manage.
With that Shaun walked away to continue his search for his boss and I got to live to see another day!
End Flashback
I gulped hard and looked Shaun in the eyes. He did not say a word. He didn't have to. As he glared down at me, the intent of his gaze was unmistakable. I'm watching you Buchanan! One false move with Lil' D and I will break you in two! I nodded my head affirmatively letting him know that I understood that I had been duly warned. I had no intention of hurting Destiny and no desire to be broken in half any time soon! I walked over and stood silently by Destiny's side and continued to watch her cuddle our boy.
"I thought maybe you were on punishment or under a restraining order or something," Destiny remarked.
"Didn't want to crowd you." She gave me the look. The one that says, she's waiting for me to tell her the real story. "I'm not sure how I can help. Is there something I can do for you?" I could tell Destiny was tired and didn't want to argue or deal with whatever my issue really was because she simply rolled her eyes at me and let me slide with the B.S. answer I'd given her. I wasn't about to tell her the truth about how I wanted to push everybody out the door, climb into bed with her and Drew and just be, the three of us together- our family. I certainly wasn't going to say anything about the naughty thoughts running through my head about me and Destiny making a little sister for Drew, which was sure to take a lot of practice over the next 4 or 5 years.
Get a grip Matt! It's a little early to think about sex and having more babies.
"Matthew, I really like Dr. Fox. I want him to be Drew's pediatrician. What do you think?" Destiny inquired, changing the subject.
"I liked him too, but whatever you want is fine," I offered hesitantly.
"Are you not interested?" Destiny inquired staring at me.
"Of course, but maybe I shouldn't have a say. It's like you said earlier. I showed up for the delivery." I muttered. I could've kicked myself.
Why do I say the dumbest things to Destiny at the worst times? What was that about? It's not like she would know that I was undressing her in my mind and planning our future kids. Would she?
Destiny turned her attention from me to Drew and back again. For the first time in the nearly 3 years I'd known her, I couldn't read Destiny's reaction. At first, she looked sad, then angry, then sad again. I just wasn't sure.
Destiny signaled me to move closer. "I'm too tired to deal with this now," she whispered in my ear.
Even though I wasn't certain what "this" meant, I nodded affirmatively and said, "Ok". At that moment, Sarah and Vivian entered the room with Carole, who was something called a Lactation Specialist. They told everyone to leave them alone with Destiny and Drew.
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I paced the waiting room floor nervously. It seemed like the medical trio had Destiny and Drew sequestered in that room for hours.
"Bud, you're wearing a hole in the floor," my dad cautioned.
Then, Mr. Evans offered, "Yeah, the way you're acting you'd think Destiny was in labor again." And so the remarks continued with my mom, Mrs. Evans and Shaun joining in on the fun at my expense. I looked at my watch every two seconds. When I noticed that I had only been separated from Drew and Destiny for 10 minutes, I tried unsuccessfully to calm myself down.
Get a grip Buchannan. They're fine.
"Sometimes it takes a while for babies to latch on. I'm sure they're fine, Honey," Mom offered pulling me into a side hug.
"Yeah, it took Shaun days before he caught on," Mrs. Evans smiled.
I was comforted by their words and became less concerned about my family's physical well being and more concerned about "this". What did Destiny mean? Whatever "this" was, I was certain I wouldn't like it very much. Finally, after 30 minutes of torture, the trio emerged and announced that Drew caught on and Destiny was nursing like a pro. I let out a huge sigh of relief and smiled. My family was doing well.
"Matthew," Vivian said hesitantly, "Destiny would like to speak to you." Vivian turned to the others, who were preparing to come with me, putting up a cautionary hand, "Alone."
God help me! I thought as I pushed the door open and slowly entered Destiny's hospital room. I closed the door softly behind me. Destiny was sitting up in bed with her dark hair in a ponytail. Her purple nightgown was now covered by some sort of big cloth. I heard loud sucking noises coming from under the cloth. Clearly, Drew had caught on! I stood at the door mesmerized by the sound, recalling the natural beauty that now nourished our son. I was staring, wondering how Destiny looked even more beautiful now than she did when I left. Destiny winced making an audible "Oww" waking me from my stupor.
"Des, are you okay?" I asked concerned.
"Yeah, it's still uncomfortable. Carole says it will take a few weeks for the discomfort to disappear. She says that Drew is an aggressive sucker," Destiny smile-frowned and then added with a bit of sarcasm, "Something else he gets from his father."
What do I say to that? At least I know she still remembers something about our night together. Maybe I should mention it. Nope. I am just going to let it go.
Destiny's brown eyes stared at me from across the room, as if she was trying to reassure herself that she knew exactly what I was thinking before she said what she needed to say. She let out a loud sigh.
And so it begins…
"Matthew, I don't have the energy to yell at you from across the room," she said frowning.
"Sorry, I…"
"Didn't want to crowd me?" She rolled her eyes.
"Yeah," I lied as I walked across the room and stood next to her. I placed my hands in my pockets. That way I wouldn't be tempted to look under that cloth.
"Boy, he is really loud." I remarked. Destiny rolled her eyes again and gave me a look that said I'm not going there with you. I quickly changed the subject. "You asked to see me?"
"Yeah, I was going to wait until tomorrow, but I need to handle this now." She paused and once again I waited for her to tell me in her own time. "I was so glad you were with me this afternoon. You supported me. I don't know that I could have made it without you. You looked so happy and proud." I smiled and my heart began to swell even more with love for Destiny. Then, her expression changed as she seemed to recall something unpleasant. "But since we got to the hospital, you've been distant and you lied to me earlier."
How does she do that?
Suddenly, my heart began to race.
This is not good!
"I don't know, maybe you were caught up in the magic of the moment earlier, the adrenaline. Now reality has set in?" I couldn't believe what I was hearing. She couldn't possibly think that I didn't want Drew and her- our new family! Could she?
"I recognize that deer in headlights look Matt," she continued, her tone becoming increasingly agitated, "I can't play on the Matthew go round any more. Not now that it involves Drew. I meant what I said the other day; I can raise him without you. So, if you are going to run again, I'd appreciate it if you make a clean break as soon as possible. I don't want Drew getting too…"
I'd heard enough. I grabbed Destiny's face in my hands and kissed her with all the passion I had. I wasn't going to let another second go by without making my intentions crystal clear.
"I'M. NOT. GOING. ANYWHERE! I love you! I love our son! You're both stuck with me!" Her eyes filled with shock. I could see question after question forming in that beautiful head of hers. She was ready to start the inquisition. I wasn't ready to talk. So I kissed her again. At first, I felt her body stiffen, but as I deepened the kiss, she responded in kind. The kiss was long and needy with Drew's slowing sucking serving as the only other sound in the room. When we finally broke apart for air, I sat next to her on the bed and took her free hand in mine.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have jumped on you like that. But I've been wanting to kiss you like that since I woke up from my coma. Timing was never right." Destiny sat there speechless staring at me in disbelief and silence. Drew stopped sucking.
"I have to burp him," Destiny said, removing her hand from mine and signaling me to divert my eyes as she removed him from under the cloth. "You can turn around now. This is how Carole said we should burp him." Destiny placed a clean cloth on her shoulder and laid Drew across it, rubbing his back. "Maybe you can burp him next time?"
"I'd like that." I grinned from ear to ear, but I could tell that Destiny was confused by recent happenings. I watched as Destiny replayed the last few minutes in her mind over and over and waited for her to speak. We sat in agonizing silence until Drew finally burped.
"He's asleep. Can you put him in the bassinet for me?" She asked laying Drew into my arms.
"On his back...right?"
"Yes."
I leaned over and kissed Drew and carefully placed him in the bassinet. "Daddy loves you," I said as I watched him for a couple of minutes to make sure he was actually asleep. "Is he staying in here tonight?" I inquired.
"That's the plan."
I stood by Destiny's bed, hands in pockets, waiting for her to invite me to sit. She patted the bed. I returned to my seat next to her. She strategically folded her arms in front of her to avoid my hand holding advances. Destiny looked at me demanding an explanation and answers to all the questions that were racing through her mind.
"Look Des. I'm sorry. I've been the worst kind of stupid. I'm so ashamed of the way I acted. I thought I didn't want the responsibility, that I would be missing out on the life I had planned." She looked at me needing to hear more. "Now, I know that my life is right here in this room. I mean… look at our son. He's perfect. Today, you were so brave and strong. It was an amazing experience and we shared it together. I want us to share all of the amazing moments of our son's life together. I want to be there for his first words, his first steps, everything." Destiny smiled and looked at me still expecting to hear more. "I still think it's going to be hard. I've got a ton of schoolwork to make up, but I know that with a little help from our families, together we can make it work. We can raise our son to be healthy, happy and loved. Des, we can do anything together."
"Yes, we can." Destiny smiled and let out a sigh of relief. Then, she confirmed, "No more running?"
"I'm done running," I smiled.
"Promise?" She asked needing to confirm once more.
"I promise."
Destiny smiled and then began to speak, "Look Matt, I am so happy you will be here for Drew. He needs his dad and I am going to need your help." She paused, searched my eyes, debating and hesitating to ask the next question. "What's with the kissing?"
"You liked it didn't you?" I joked. However, Destiny didn't laugh. She looked at me like I'd grown two heads.
"Please just answer the question."
"Question's been asked and answered, counselor," I quipped. Destiny was so not amused. I felt her brown eyes boring into me as she willed me to respond.
"I kissed you like that because I'm in love with you." Destiny glared at me with a look of shock and disbelief. So, I continued, "I don't want to waste any more time keeping my true feelings locked inside."
"You're in love with me? Since when? Just this afternoon, you said you…" Destiny quipped tossing up air quotes
I hate that!
"'Cared about me'. Whatever that really means." She rolled her eyes and glared at me.
"Look Des, I know that I have been a jerk when it comes to choosing the right words to tell you how I really feel. I was scared to say the words, because the last time I said those words to someone, it didn't go well-as you know."
"I'm not Dani."
Damn! I would open this can of worms. Dani, another mistake from my past, who I chose over Destiny when I was 16 and stupid!
"No. You are not, Dani!" I practically yelled. Then, I remembered our sleeping son and lowered my voice. "I realized a long time ago that I didn't even love her. I just told her I loved her… I wanted to love her so that I could keep from losing her to Nate. I hate losing! It was stupid! I was stupid!" She gave me a huge nod in agreement as to my stupidity. She stared urging me to continue. I felt myself becoming increasingly frustrated by Destiny's reaction. Clearly, I should have planned my words instead of babbling in the heat of the moment. I tried to regroup. "Look Des, after you started dating Darren, I knew that I had screwed up. I was angry at Dani, because she wasted my time and let Darren swoop in and take you away from me. Every time I saw you two together, I got this pain in my stomach. The months you were with him were torture. I…"
"Please stop! I just had our baby. I don't want to hear a blow by blow of the soap opera that has been our lives for the past three years." Destiny clearly was not interested in talking about our exes and no one could make her! Destiny sighed heavily and reached out to rest her hand on mine sending a shiver down my spine. "So, let's cut the crap. If you were so 'in love with me', you wouldn't have asked me to give our baby up for adoption, you wouldn't have told me that our night together was great, but we weren't getting married or even dating! And of course, wanting to go to college parties and meet other girls were just proof of your undying love and devotion for me!"
My mind reeled as she threw my idiotic words back in my face. Her beautiful cherub face was flushed and angry tears pooled in her beautiful mocha eyes. "I'm so sorry. I was angry, because you weren't listening to me. You weren't trying to understand my point. I was so scared!" I held her hand tightly with both of mine, pleading for her forgiveness.
"And I wasn't? I'm still terrified, Matt. We are 18 and we have a child. He's not a doll, but a living, breathing human being that we are ultimately responsible for, but I couldn't run away from him because he went everywhere with me. I had choices and I chose our son!"
"We are in this together now. I promise. I want to be the father Drew can look up to and admire. I am committed to us, Des- me and you."
Destiny looked at me strangely, as if she was trying to think of a way to make me understand her point. She swallowed hard and began to speak slowly, "I'm happy that you are going to be there for our son. As for you and me, we have always been there for each other. I don't think that will change. After all, I am your 'best friend'," she quipped with emphasis on the last words.
I now officially hate those words.
"Destiny, we have a son, a history!" I could feel her distancing herself, putting up walls the way she always did whenever anyone, most often me, hurt her.
Damn!
I pleaded, "Des, we are way past friends, best or whatever. I'm in love with you. I know I hurt you more times than I can count, but I also know from the way you just kissed me back that you still love me too."
"You surprised me." She moved her gaze from me to the bassinet where Drew lay sleeping. She took a deep breath, removed her hand from mine and said, "You're just caught up in the excitement of the day. So… to keep things simple… Let's forget this conversation and the kissing ever happened and focus on raising our son."
"So, just like that I am supposed to pretend that I'm not in love with you?" She gave me a resolved look, but didn't answer. "You don't love me anymore?" I asked desperately.
Destiny didn't answer. Instead, she stared at the bassinet. Finally, she said, "Let's just focus on Drew."
My head felt like it was about to explode. I couldn't breathe. My heart felt like it had stopped functioning. My greatest fear had been realized. My stupidity, my fear of fatherhood had cost me the woman I loved.
The air in the room was unbearable. I had to get out of that room. If I stayed, I knew I would say something stupid or worse, jump on top of Destiny and refuse to let her go.
"I need some air," was all I could manage as I ran out the door, refusing to look back at Destiny. I walked to the waiting room and my lips said something to our families about Destiny being finished with me. It wasn't until I felt everyone staring at me that I realized that I was sobbing uncontrollably.
Surprisingly, Mrs. Evans moved to place a comforting hand on my shoulder. "Matthew, what happened?"
"I told Destiny I'm in love with her. She doesn't believe me. I waited too long. She doesn't love me anymore." Everyone continued to stare at me not knowing how to respond.
"Destiny has had a long day. We all have," Mrs. Evans offered.
"I need to take a walk," I muttered. As I began to walk away, I felt the box in my jacket pocket move. I completely forgot to give Destiny her Christmas present. "Mrs. Evans, this is Destiny's Christmas present. I was going to give it to her this afternoon, but I forgot in all the excitement. Can you see that she gets it?" Mrs. Evans nodded affirmatively and took the box from my hand. I gave her a weak smile, nodded to my parents and headed to the stairway.
TBC…
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