Fuck the haters, right? ;)
I always hated sitting alone. Unfortunately, its grown on me in the last several years. I no longer loath the empty feeling that I get when people pass my table with a tray full of food and a table packed with friends. I kinda enjoy the quiet atmosphere during lunch and after class. It has made me more patient, more observant, and maybe less annoying. I no longer beat up underclassmen or upperclassmen, that kind of thing lost its zest along the path of high school and after I entered college, I wouldn't so it if someone paid me.
You're probably thinking, "Oh man, what happened to Sam Puckett?" Not Sam, I would much rather go by Samantha now. There are a lot of things that can mellow out a person. Being lonely all the time would be mine. Don't get me wrong, I would love to have friends but I only want my friends. I want Carly to talk to me again. I want Freddie to call me once in a while. But they're gone. They left me here to rot in Seattle while they sauntered off to continue their perfect lives. To them, I am the only thing holding them back from becoming so much more.
I was promised that they would come and visit or call ever week. But nothing ever came. I received one phone call from Carly the second week of college which consisted of her raving about how great the party life is. She's out getting smashed every night, or so I've heard from Wendi. Freddie called me three times. The conversations were usually interrupted by his slut-bag girlfriend calling him from a gas station or begging for booze money. Honestly, I only say this with bitterness because she is his "Blonde Headed Demon." He described her as a blonde with the clearest blue eyes he's ever seen. I remember when he said that about my eyes. I guess they weren't good enough for him. But I forgave him. He called again the next week and we talked until his boozed-up girlfriend interrupted with pleas for a stack of cash.
The last time Freddie called me was the final straw. We were talking about Carly's sudden rush for parties when a beep echoed on the other line.
"Oh, that's my girlfriend." Freddie said sheepishly.
"Well don't keep her waiting." I said bitterly. I heard another beep and had to pull the phone away from my ear because of the deafening music playing in the background.
"HAAAAAAYYYYY BABE!" She screamed into the receiver.
"Hey there." Freddie said in his sexy vampire voice.
"Hey Freddie (hic) do you wanna come back (hic) to my place?" she purred into the phone.
"Sure, do want me to bring 'the thing' tonight?" Freddie purred back. I coughed loudly into the phone to remind Freddie that I was still there.
"What the hell was that?" Freddie's girlfriend demanded.
"Oh, its just…nobody." Freddie replied. My fingers loosened and the phone slipped and hit the floor with a thud. I slammed my foot on the phone, ending the call. Rage flooded through me with every pump of my heart. I made a fist and punched a hole in my wall. I kicked over a nightstand and cracked my closed door. I stood there, panting and observing the damage I just caused. I crumpled to the floor in a helpless ball and cried for the first time in years.
From that day on, I was no longer Sam Puckett: bully, slacker, people hater. I was Samantha Puckett: loner, freak, people hater. Nothings changed. I've been left behind by the people that I love and that's that. I stopped caring months ago. I like being alone. No one messes with you and I can dress how I want to. But deep in my heart, I still have that wish. That wish that maybe someday, my friends will come back to me.
I hope that someday they will realize that no one gets left behind.