Read. Agree. Review.
-Rocco
Harry Potter and the Founding Father's Stone
Chapter 1:
The Escape
There was a strange, faint glow in Privet Drive. Headmaster Ax Dumbleoutdoorsman stepped out,. An eagle transformed into a woman, who began walking towards the headmaster. A man on a flying motorcycle landed on a British flag. The man held a baby boy, cuddled in his thick, hairy, manly arms.
Dumbleoutdoorsman, who preferred to be called Dumbledore for the basic idiots who could not pronounce his name, grabbed the child. "This is Harry," he said in a clear, manly voice. "His parents were killed by The Dark Russian just now."
Minerva, the eagle-woman, gasped. "But...I thought he was British!"
"No," Dumbledore said. "He keeps changing his name. He thinks we will not find him. But we will."
Hagrid, the motorcycle man, began to reach for his AK-47.
"No," Dumbledore said. "Don't. We need to test if Harry is the Chosen One...he will be sent to...Britain."
Minerva and Hagrid gasped.
Dumbledore set Harry on a pile of American flags. "With the power invested in me, Harry Potter will become the true American he was always meant to be if it is fate. Let him go along his destiny."
With that, Harry the baby poofed away from his beautiful homeland.
Aunt Petunia poured her British tea onto Harry. "OI! FISH N' CHIPS!" she cried.
Harry jolted awake. He was so annoyed by these British people. They thought they knew everything! Harry was sick of it-he wanted to be an American. It hurt that he wasn't-he wanted freedom running through his veins, liberty blowing through his hair, the pursuit of happiness in his life. Harry Potter wanted a new life.
Today is the day, Harry thought, the day I become a man.
Harry got up and pushed past Petunia. "OI! WHAT WAS THAT FER?" she asked.
"I take no more of your shit!" Harry spat, in an American accent.
Uncle Vernon gasped. Dudley came in and gasped, too. "HE BE SPEAKIN' THAT AMERICAN THING!" Vernon wailed.
"Because I have the RIGHT to!" Harry demanded. He went up to Vernon, and punched him.
The next thing Harry remembered was Vernon about to throw him outside when a tall man with a tall hat and beard came in and shot the Dursleys.