1. Ask Jack were he buys his guy liner.
2. Command him to say guy liner, if he refuses cry.
3. Call him an unuch.
4. Tell him Will likes him.
5. Say 'I love you' and scream really loud ( I mean window shattering loud)
6. Pay Barbosa to flirt with him, if he says no tell him Jack shot the monkey.
7. Challenge Jack to a card game, slap him. If he asks why say I thought we were playing Slap Jack.
8. Wine about how Elizabeth picked Will over him.
9. Call him a pretty girl.
10. While he is asleep apply red lipstick. When he wakes up say it had to be done.
11. Ask him if he has ever thought of attending Alcoholics Anonymous.
12. Say Johnny Depp is hotter.
13. Tie a rope around a bottle of rum, if he wants it say it's your pet.
14. When alone on an island and a dead squid washes up on shore start crying and say you have to bury it because it's the Kraken spawn.
15. Eat his hat.
16. Imitate his every move, when he looks back yell stalker as loud as possible.
17. Say I know were you sleep every 4.7 seconds.
18. Tell him you see a wrinkle.
19. Call him old.
20. Play matchmaker and set him up with Pintel.
21. Ask him if he likes men, if not ask again.
22. Sing 'Secret Lovers' every time he is around Will.
23. When he passes Elizabeth sing 'Everytime We Touch'.
24. Say you are his daughter/son. If he looks shocked say don't make me file a lawsuit!
25. Tell him to address you as the Burger King from Minnesota, California.
26. If he agrees ask about the secret sauce.
27. Light his rum on fire.
28. Ask him why he braids his beard.
29. Say he should be a girl scout.
30. Ask him what kind of meds is he on.
31. Tell the tales of Le Barney De Terrifying.
32. Tell him you have found the fountain of youth, Botox.
33. Poke him.
34. Tell Elizabeth Jack was hitting on Will.
35. Ask him if he likes beavers.
36. Ask if he is Glamorous (sing it)
37. Read him a story.
38. Dye his hair bleach blonde.
39. Call him a Valley Girl.
40. While he is asleep shave his head.
41. Sell it on E-bay.
42. Complain to him about how no on would buy it.
43. Give some to Tia Dalma to make a Jack clone.
44. Say you are sorry and hug him, don't every let go.
45. Ask if he has seen Pirates of the Caribbean.
46. Say Will is big pimpin', he isn't. When he asks what pimpin' is say forget it.
47. Say you want a divorce.
48. Say you love Jack, if he comments yell Jack the monkey.
49. Call him a fashionista
50. When he finally makes you walk the plank with Jack the monkey in to grab his leg and say he has been Punk'd
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Author's Note: Wow, that was random. I'm lovin' writing POTC fan fiction, if you love it or hate it please review. I am also thinking of continuing this with the other pirates characters if you has any idea review!
Disclaimer: I don't own pirates, if I did Jack would end up with Liz.