Warning: One-sided (or is it..? xD) Spamano, boyxboy, suicidal thoughts.. Don't read if you're too depressed.

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, or the anime Hetalia.

For so long, Romano has had these feelings. These feelings that he absolutely hates, and never would tell anyone about. No one, not even his brother, was to know about them. He didn't want to be in love with that bastard. So why did he have to? But of course, it wasn't on purpose. If he could, he would choose not to have them. But that's not possible. Love is a difficult emotion, no? Especially when you're in love with a carefree, stupid, non-atmosphere reading tomato-loving bastard. Yeah. Especially then.

Only a few minutes ago, the said tomato bastard, also known as Spain, had left Romano to go on a date. Like usual, Romano had hidden his own emotions and pretended not to care. So Spain had left, thinking Romano would be fine.

He was far from fine.

While Spain was gone, Romano was sitting on the couch, staring at the ground. Tears were dwelling out from this beautiful hazel eyes and his brain was full of depressing thoughts that he just couldn't get out of his head. 'Am I not enough? Why can't Spain be with me? Am I annoying to him? .. Does he hate me?', were the most popular thoughts. His heart hurt like hell and it became hard to breath. Soon enough, his jeans had become wet from all the tears and his head started hurting too, from the endless crying. His thoughts were not leaving him. Actually, they got even worse. They got from sad to very, very depressing. 'Why can't I be enough? Again, I'm useless.. Again, I'm the second choice... And again, I'm being abandoned.. Spain doesn't want me... I'm really just a pain in the ass to him, nothing else. I'm too annoying. He doesn't love me. He hates me...'

Thoughts about suicide started developing in his mind. Thoughts that, if no one wants him, he could just take his own life. Then, all this pain would disappear. Then, he would be happy. For the first time. That would be so great...

The night continued, and Romano found himself with new cuts at his arms. Cuts that were made by none else than himself. 'I deserve this' was the thought he'd had in his mind as he had been holding the razor, drawing it to his skin, and while watching the blood pour out. No cut was deep enough to place any danger to his life. But surely some of them would turn into scars. Honestly, he didn't care. He wouldn't be alive when they would turn into scars anyway.

After that, he took a quick shower and went to sleep.

That morning, Spain returned from his date. It was obvious what they had done during the night, and once again Romano hid his own emotions, just like he always did. Spain noticed nothing and didn't bother to ask why Romano was wearing a long-sleeved hoodie.

About two months later, Spain presented his new wife to Romano. It was not a happy meeting, and it ended up with Romano running and locking himself up in his room. Spain had come to knock on his door and beg to get in, but left Romano alone when he refused to open. It was during that night, that Romano disappeared. Spain called the cops, and it even made it to the News. Everyone, even England, Spain's rival, helped and searched for Romano. But in the end, he was not found and people started believing he was dead.

Spain got heartbroken, of course. But he still kept his wife with him. She was the only one left for him. But even now, Spain is still searching for his beloved tomatito. Even if he's the only one left with hope. 'Romano HAS to live.'

Authors note: Thank you everyone for reading my first fanfiction! It's really short, I knoow, but I didn't really feel like continuing it and writing more. I can make much better stories, but I didn't really have the time. :3 Sorry if there are any grammatical mistakes, English is not my first language.

Soo.. Do you people want another chapter? Do you want Romano to live, or should I just stop here? It's your choice~