Phoebe sure was crazy about that damn carousel. She really was. I watched her flying around on that thing for a little bit, but then I got too cold. Just to give my legs something to do, I went over to a little pond to check n the ducks. I swear to God, it was just to give my legs something to do and warm me up a bit. Watching her sure gave me a bang. It really did, don't get me wrong. I was just cold.
I walked over to the railing by the stupid pond and what did I see? The goddamn ducks weren't even there! The whole thing was frozen over, and I didn't even know where those sonuvabitches went. That's just my luck for you. Just when I think my day might be going okay after all, everyone just flies away.
To my left, this prince and his whore of a girlfriend were kissing like the world was about to end. That killed me. It really did. The goddam ducks aren't even here anymore, and all those two could think about was kissing and all. What goddamn phonies.
I was this close to going over there and giving them hell for it, too, but I just wasn't in the mood. I really would have done it, but you can't just walk over to just any sonuvabitch and give him hell if you aren't in the mood.
I guess I might have been gawking at them a little bit, because all of a sudden the girl broke free and yelled, "What the hell are you looking at?"
Now that their mouths weren't all over each other, I could see them clearly. Both of them were real preppy. Probably fresh out of Princeton on winter break. The girl was pretty goddam nice-looking, with bouncy blonde hair and baby-doll blue eyes. She'd be a real knockout, if she weren't so goddamn phony.
"You two," I said. I wasn't in the mood to shoot the crap with these two morons, so I was real blunt with them. Usually morons don't want to hear how stupid they really are up front and all.
"That's a little rude, don't you think?" Damn, she sure was a piece of work, that one. I could just tell. I was starting to feel kind of sorry for her boyfriend.
"It's not my fault you two are necking like your goddam ship's about to sink," I said.
"You watch your language."
"Maybe I will. Sure would be a hell of a lot better than watching you too get all kinky." Boy, could I be sarcastic as hell if I wanted to.
"Well I never-"
"And tell your boyfriend to get you two a room if he wants to give you the time. If you're as loud doing that as you are kissing, you'll make half of New York deaf out here." Her mouth dropped open like someone fixed anchors to it. I smiled a little bit; I just couldn't help myself. All these goddamn phonies always react that way when you tell them the truth about how phony they really are. It's always the same. They're always the same.
"Let's get out of here." The whore grabbed her boyfriend by the collar and dragged him like he was some dog. I did feel kind of sorry that I had complicated things a bit for him, but his girlfriend was just getting on my nerves. And he wasn't completely innocent either. After all, he was letting her be that way. He really was.
"I know a pretty cheap hotel room on Grand Avenue," I called after them. "You two should check it out." They quickened their pace, and part of me wanted to chase after them and pester them a little bit more, but I didn't really feel like it. All I ended up doing was sitting down by the duck-less pond for a little while longer and then going back to see how old Phoebe was doing on that crumby carousel.
Honest to God, that's really all that happened that day. Well, I suppose I could tell you about a few more minor details, but they're not all too interesting and I'm not really in the mood. Come to think of it, I'm not really in the mood for anything, to tell you the truth. After all, I still don't know where the hell all the goddamn ducks went.