a/n: Hi everyone! It's me, Summer. Before I tell you about this story I just want to say thank you to everyone who has supported my first GMW fanfic Save Me. All of that encouragement and love meant a lot. So, thanks. So, this is a one shot I wrote a little while ago. It is inspired by the song Skinny Love by Bon Iver. I listen to the version sung by Birdy while writing this. The lyrics are featured in this one-shot. The lyrics and characters do not belong to me. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this.
Quick shoutout to cowgirlangel95, who has been a wonderful supporter with this. She is truly amazing.
Come on skinny love, just last a year
The day Maya Hart entered the mental hospital is that day she met Riley Matthews. Easily making it the worst day and the best day of her life. Her mother dropped her off after finding her in their apartment bathroom, with a bloody arm. Maya had no say in the matter. It just happened. Maya knew this day would come. Her mother would be unable to take care of her. Leave her off to someone else. A distant relative, maybe her never- there father. But she never saw herself here. Despite her mother dropping her off with no hesitation and nothing but a kiss on the cheek, she still loves her. Despite leaving her in hell to be taken care of by strangers, she still loves her. Maya hates admitting it. But in some way her mother's disinterest, lead her to meeting Riley. So, Maya loves her.
pour a little salt, we were never here
Maya remembers meeting Riley very vividly. Maya was walking around the hospital, getting a special tour. Her tour guide was a very perky nurse. She described the place as a child describing Disney World. The nurse's optimistic attitude made Maya want to kill herself (again).
Once the horrid tour was over, she was walked to her room. Which, she learned she was going to be sharing. Which made her very very mad. She argued endlessly until her throat was dry. "I don't need to play sleepover!" "I never shared a room and I never will!" "I'm not going in there!" But her protest stopped once her eyes landed on Riley. She was pale and frail. But a small graceful smile brightened her face. Her long brown hair was curled and her eyes sparkled. Maya felt her heart stop. Riley's smile only grew bigger.
"I'm Riley" she says.
"I'm Maya, but don't get to attached. I'm not going to be here long" She replied, as she watched Riley's smile faded.
On top of all the reasons Maya ever hated herself, making Riley lose her smile probably topped the list.
Tell my love to wreck it all
It took one week. One week for the girls to become best friends. One week to expose it all. One week to learn all there is about each other. Riley, no matter how many times Maya told her she was beautiful, hated her body. She was in here for an eating disorder. A fact that hurt Maya in a way she never felt. before. She never felt so strongly for someone before, and cared enough of their wellbeing. So hearing her first true best friend thinks she is ugly is could never wrap Riley's eating disorder. It never made any sense to her. She saw Riley was nothing but a sweetheart. Even of Maya's early days of her stay when she was terribly bitter to her, Riley was so sweet to her.
What changed Maya's view on Riley from roommate to best friend was her fourth day at the hospital. Riley was staring at herself in the mirror. Her facial expression was full of disgust and hate, while her eyes shined with sadness. Maya knew her little body bashing thoughts were running in Riley's head. It killed her inside. Maya saw as Riley's eyes began to water, and she fell to her knees. Tears flowed freely. Instantly, Maya was by her side. Maya don't know how it happened, but it did. Maya held Riley while she cried. Wondering who made this girl thoughts of herself impure. Holding Riley while she cried, changed Maya. All Maya wanted nothing more then to protect Riley from the big bad world.
Staring at the sink of blood
While Riley's eating disorder baffled Maya, Maya's self harm habit did the same to Riley. Maya had no intention of ever telling Riley. When she asked Maya why she was here, Maya always dismissed the question and changed the subject. Maya tried to focus on Riley and her recovery, instead of focusing on herself. Riley only started drinking apple juice. (Before she claimed the amount of sugar would be the end of her, tragically it was quiet the opposite. Her lack of sugar and food in general was going to be the end of her) Riley slowly sipped her little juice box, while Maya was just walking in from meeting with her therapist.
Riley thought the juice box made her look childish, but Maya thought it was quiet adorable. Maya decided to change from her long sleeve shirt to her normal t-shirt. She was unaware of the fact she couldn't bandage her cuts here. The thought completely slipped her mind. While taking of her shirt, revealing her damage she had done to her stomach, she heard a gasp. She began to panic. She quickly threw off her shirt and ran to Riley, in fear she choked on the juice,
"Riley, what's wrong?" Concern burned in her voice.
"Your stomach" She managed to say.
Maya quickly put on a shirt, her main focus had always been covering her arms. She never thought she had to hide her stomach scars.
" It's nothing" Maya said quickly. "Just finish your juice box"
Riley knew the subject was off limits, so stayed quiet. She finished her apple juice, something she hadn't been able to do in months.
And I told you to be balanced
Maya watched as Riley struggled to eat her breakfast that next morning. She didn't want Riley thinking of her as a softie, she still had some reputation to uphold. She didn't want Riley to see her at her breaking point, she only wanted to help Riley when she hit hers. So whenever Riley looked at her, Maya quickly looked away. While Riley took her second bite of her baby bowl amount of cereal, Maya's head ran wild. She still didn't understand how when Riley looked in the mirror she saw fat. All Maya saw was a fragile girl, so breakable it was concerning.
Once Riley finished her cereal, Maya offered a small smile of accomplishment. Riley smiled back, her brightness returning in her eyes. But it the pit of Maya's stomach, she knew this was wrong. A 12 year old girl should be able to eat a regular bowl of cereal. Maya couldn't handle not knowing anymore.
"Why do you do it?" She finally asked.
"Do what?" Riley asked.
"Not eat" The words burned on her tongue. She never thought she would ask her about it so bluntly. Maya tried waiting for the right time. But she just had to know.
Did Riley not know how beautiful she is, or how much more beautiful she would be if she was healthier?
"Why do you cut?" Riley asked.
Maya stayed silent.
And I told you to be fine
The third Friday of her stay, Maya had a day for herself. No appointments to meet with anyone. Her schoolwork done. She laid on her bed, thinking about her stay here. Riley had to go to a different wing of the hospital to do weighing and track her diet. Maya anxiously waited, desperately wanting to know if she had progress. While laying down she heard a faint knock on the door. Maya groaned. "I'll take that as welcome in" A nurse said. Maya wanted to roll her eyes, but held off on the bitter attitude. She had other things to worry about. "Hello sweetie" Maya recongized her. She was the nurse who gave her the Disney World tour.
"Hi" Maya said akwardly.
"Oh don't worry honey, you have nothing to do today. I just wanted to talk"
Maya wanted to press on, but held her tongue.
"You know, you're helping that little girl more than you know" Maya stayed quiet."She was never able to even look at cereal without screaming and crying about how fat it would make her"
Maya took a deep breath, taking all this in. She never saw Riley at the beginning stage of her stay, so learning things were always interesting, in a heartbreaking sort of way.
"She never made as much progress in her recovery, until she meet you" The nurse said, heading towards the door, leaving.
"Thank you" Maya managed to say.
Maya hadn't felt good about herself in a long time, the feeling was nice.
and I told you to be kind
Maya crept into her room as her clock signified it was midnight. Maya fell asleep in the t.v room earlier that day, and had only recently woke up. She opened up a a little that day, and it emotionally drained her. She tried to reward herself with a little t.v. Something she hasn't enjoyed in a while. (She only watched shows Riley recommended) While she skipped lunch and dinner, she felt her stomach rumble. She wonders how Riley could do it. Maya made her way into her bed and try to make herself comfortable without making noise. She looked Riley, her back facing her. She looked like she was sleeping and Maya didn't want to wake her up.
"Maya?"
Maya jumped at the sound of her roommate's voice.
"Riley!" Maya managed to yell whisper as her head beat fiercely in fear.
"Why are you still awake?" Maya asked once her heartbeat went normal.
"Just waiting up for you" Riley replied, as quickly as a mother would waiting for their daughter to return home.
"Why?" Maya asked.
"Because, I care about you" Riley answered simply. No hesitation, just a from the heart answer.
"I care about you too" Maya said with a smile, which she knew Riley couldn't see.
But she felt Riley smile back.
Right at the moment, this order's tall
Family visiting day came along after a month of Maya's stay. Maya's mother was unable to attend. But Maya did meet Riley's family. Her father, Cory. Her mother, Topanga and her little brother Auggie. They were really kind, too kind. Maya almost didn't believe they existed.
"Nice to meet you Maya, Riley told me all about you" Topanga said sweetly, offering her a warm smile.
Maya began to panic and shot Riley a worried glance. Causing Riley to laugh, which caused her mom to laugh. Soon the room was filled with harmonious laughter.
But then Cory asked the forbidden question.
"Have you been eating, honey?" Riley just closed her eyes tightly, as her tears flowed.
"Oh, darling" Both of her parents embraced her into a hug. "We love you, Riley. No matter what"
Maya wanted to stop this, she hates seeing Riley in pain.
"Um, you know" Maya started. "Riley has been drinking apple juice, and had recently began to eat cereal"
She felt the atompshere of the room change. The mood was happy and light again.
"Oh, Riley I'm so proud of you" Topanga said.
"Me too, We love you" Cory said.
"Maya?" Auggie asked.
Maya nodded in response.
"Where is your family?"
Who will fight?
The next couple of family visit days Maya felt as if Cory and Topanga came for Riley and her. They always asked her question about her day, her stay. After an emotional day, she even told them why she was there. There unconditional love towards everyone, it was all so new to Maya. It never felt real. It took a while to get use too.
On those family days Maya would always get e-mails from her mother, explaining why she couldn't make it. Excuses ranging from work, to auditions, to other important issues.
Personally, Maya didn't mind.
Who will love you?
One day, after a group therapy with a bunch of other people who had a bad habit of self harm, Maya felt it happen again. The urge to cut. Everything was way too triggering. She managed to not do anything since the day of her arrival. She tried to focus on Riley. But she couldn't focus on Riley if she was in a separate wing. She had to do her weekly weighing and diet tracking.
Maya sat in her room, with her sleeve pulled up. Tracing her old scars with her fingertips. She shivered. She was a completely different then the girl she was when she first got here. She began to scratch lightly, trying to get some feeling off at it. She wanted to cut, so badly. Suddenly she heard a ding, her laptop light up. She got a new e-mail. It wasn't from her mother, which confused her. Nobody else has her e-mail. She clicked it cautiously.
Hey Maya,
It's Mrs. Matthews , or just Topanga. Riley's mom. Riley gave me your e-mail. I hope you don't mind. Me and Cory just wanted to check up on you. Riley mentioned a group therapy appointment today. We hope you are doing okay
- Topanga
Maya didn't cut that day.
In the morning I'll be with you
Maya's 13th birthday is the day Riley was scheduled to leave. The thought of not having Riley there killed her. She never even mentioned her birthday due to her depression, she figured it wasn't even worth mentioning. Today made it 3 months since Maya's stay, as well as making it Riley's 6 month here. Maya was proud of Riley's progress. She looked healthier and can eat all the three meals in a day. Maya sat on her bed as she watched Riley pack. Whenever Riley tried to talk to her, Maya always ignored. She had no idea how to react to this, this is just numb. Her heart broke. This is her worst birthday ever. Not because of where she is, because of who she lost.
When Riley made the announcement that her parents has arrived, Maya got up. She has to say goodbye. She would never forgive herself if she didn't. No matter how much pain she was in today, she couldn't hurt Riley. She never could love her other roommate as much as she loves Riley. She could never have a best friend like Riley. She could never care about anybody like she cared about Riley.
They held hands and they walked to the parking lot. Maya saw the Matthews car pull up. Tears welled up in her eyes. They had ballons tied up to their car.
Riley squezed her hand." Happy birthday Maya, we are going home"
a/n: I hope you liked it! Feel free to comment and tell me if there was anything wrong. I know the ages seemed a little young, but I've known and care about people who have been through this issues while in middle school. So I figured it was appropiate. Also, I made Riley have an eating disorder, because based on her character I feel like she would. She just wants to fit in and be happy. Sadly, people feel the need to starve themselves to be perfect. But everyone is perfect.
Anyway, I hope you enjoy your day.
-Summer