Brannigans
Wake up
call
This is the second part of 'Clearence sale from the edge of the galaxy' yes I know the titles are crappy, but meh what are you gonna do, this is gonna be my last attempt for a romantic komedy for a while, you can scorch this fic if you want to, cuz flames are always the truth, well mostly anyways, read on...
As the little planet express ship was silently drifting back to earth, the gigantic frigate known as the 'Nimbus' was stationed nearby. Captain of this ship was known none other than captain Zapp Brannigan, the most heroic (yet stupid, cowardice and well you get the point) captain in the galaxy.
"Sir, we have an oncoming ship in our radars, it seems to be the planet express ship." Said Kif.
" Ahh, the lecrustious Leela, coming back to the zapper for some more lecrustious love." Said Zapp rubbing his chest.
"Ah sir, that word doesn't exist."
"What, of course it does, in Brannigans big book of laws and words." He said with a proud smile. Kif just sighed heavily.
"Kif, prepare for ship-to-ship action." Zapp continued in a low voice.
In Leela and Fry's room in the PE ship, the pair still lied naked in bed, until Leela woke up and screamed at the face close to hers.
"I find it very…sexy when a women sleeps naked, probably because you were thinking about me weren't you?" He said with his "seductive voice".
"Alright three things, one, never come into my quarters while I'm not dressed. Two, your on my boyfriend."
Just then you can hear Fry muffling in his pillow and struggling to get up.
"And three, this." Then Leela kicks Zapp in the face, making him tumble off the bed and onto the ground. Then Fry emerged from the bed, panting and gasping for air.
"Oh really, and who exactly is this man you call to be your boyfriend." Said Zapp as he was getting up. Just as he dusted himself off, he saw the head of an oranged-haired kid, who was holding his chest to stop the panting.
"You are Leela's man friend? But your nothing but a pipsqueak baby weakling!"
Fry started sobbing. "I'm not a baby." He whined as Leela held his shoulder and patted his chest. Then Bender and Gord walked in.
"What's goin' on, someone gettin mugged? Woa!" said Bender as he barged through the doors. He took a good look around and figured out what went on. "Aw man the onetime I didn't pack a camera!"
Then about an hour later, the PE crew, Kif and Zapp all met at the bridge to discuss the situation they were in.
"Alright, so you've told me how this kid was frozen in some weird mysterious place were people drink beer, watch hockey and are part lumberjack, let me ask you what is this hellish place you call home." Said Zapp pacing around his chair.
"Canada for Christ sakes." Said Gord. And then he looked at Kif, who was right beside him. "Man, the Doop and the Universe rely on the hands of this moron?" He asked quietly.
"I'm afraid so." Responded the alien with a sad look on his face.
"In that case, our next order of business is to decide what to have for dinner, ravioli or hamburgers." Continued Zapp. Then Gord and Kif simultaneously sighed.
"Look, the point is that our ship has ran out of fuel because our temporary pilot was an idiot." Leela said looking at Zoidberg angrily.
"Hooray I'm being commented by my incompetence!" Just then Zoidberg broke out in tears.
"So, we are requesting that we get some fuel." Leela continued.
"Well there is only one problem, we are kind of, um, out of fuel, that is why we have been stuck here for the past two days." Said Zapp.
"You idiot, who runs a frigate that doesn't have any fuel?" Said Gord.
"Well uh you see, it was mainly Kif's fault, I told him to fill up the ship a couple of days ago." Continued Zapp.
"What? No I didn't, as a matter of fact you insisted that you would fill up the fuel tanks this week!" Yelled Kif.
"Ki-i-f, what did I tell you about yelling things out, you better watch your mouth or you wont get that promotion to lieutenant, captain!"
"But sir, I'm already lieutenant, and YOU are the captain, and that's the highest rank there is!" Yelled Kif yet again.
"Hmm, maybe I should look that up." Said Zapp, then Gord and Kif let out another simultaneous sigh.
"Alright, well there is no need to worry." Said Leela turning off her wrist thingy.
"I have just sent a fuel truck to our location, but it will take two days." She said with a sad look on her face.
"Alrighty then, this will give you and me a lot more time to… reacquaint ourselves." Said Zapp rubbing his chest. Then Leela shuddered and Fry held her tightly and looked at Zapp with a face of disgust.
"You are not to be 20 feet near Leela or I will make your life a miserable hell." Fry said to Zapp. Surprisingly to Fry, he just stood there with a smile on his face.
"You know I like the way you think Fry, so, in honour of your staying here, I challenge you to a game of pool."
"Oh, well ok, if you say so. It probably won't be a trap to get me in a prison cell or something only for you and Leela to be together." Said Fry with a blank face.
"Well um, no, well I'll see you in a couple of hours." Said Zapp as he walked out of the bridge suspiciously.
An hour later, Kif, Bender, Zoidberg and Gord were sitting around a crate, playing cards. Nobody really talked too much, except for Bender who was either boasting about himself or boasting about himself with song. After a couple minutes of that, Gord brought up a conversation.
"So, anybody else got a woman they are seeing?" He asked with a nervous face, hoping he wasn't the only one that was lonely.
"Well actually I do, Amy Wong and I are um getting engaged, but I haven't told her yet, when valentines day hits in a couple of months, I'm gonna ask her to marry me." Said Kif.
"Good, good, now my story, I've actually met a nice squid from planet squidhead, I have just been going out with for the past couple of weeks." Added Zoidberg.
"Shut up Zoidberg, it's my turn to speak!" Snapped Bender. "I'm not really seeing anybody, but I do spend a lot of time with hooker bots, so I'm pretty much satisfied.' He said taking a puff of his cigar. "Why, what about you meatbag?" He said pointing at Gord.
"Well, I don't really…have…one." He said looking sadly at the ground.
"Oh cheer up buddy, I mean sure you're a nerd, with no friends, no talent, and you have Canadian money. But I'm sure your girl will come some day at least." Said Bender, then he started laughing, causing him to fall on his back.
"Aw crap, uh guys can you help me, I'm on my back, I can't get up!" Everyone just ignored him and kept playing the game.
In Fry and Leela's assigned room, they were discussing the trouble they were in.
"Don't worry about me Leela, I'll be fine, he just invited me for a simple game of pool, I'll be ok." Fry said to Leela, who was hugging her reassuringly.
"Fry, just be careful, this is Zapp after all, he'll probably do something stupid just to get to me, I just want you to be alright, I can't have a boyfriend whose dead."
"Well alright, tell you what, after the game I'll come straight back and give you the back rub I gave Amy when I was dating-"
"I get the point Fry." Then she gave him a kiss on the lips.
A couple of hours later, in the games room, Fry had awaited for Zapp to show up. He had his hands in his pockets looking around the room. In the room there was the pool table, a little arcade area and a TV area. The walls were practically covered with portraits of Zapp.
"I wonder who that guy is." Said Fry looking at one of the pictures closely. Just then he heard the door open, it was Zapp wearing blue jeans, white shirt and a leather jacket.
"Even after high school it still fits." Said Zapp. Just then there was a rip, he turned around and saw a long tear on his back. He shrugged and turned back around, only to hear another rip, this time making his whole jacket shred into pieces.
"Euhhm, let's play pool shall we." Zapp continued.
After Gord, Bender and Zoidberg were finished with the card game, they decided to get back to the PE ship to get some sleep.
"Aw man, why do Fry and Leela always get the luxury and class, and we get to sleep in this stupid pile of heap." Said Bender kicking the ship.
" Hey, I'm the pile of heap, who's the one with the crappy USB connection, I mean I've had more of a better download from a windows 98!" Said the ship in its female voice.
"Hey! My connection is high in speed and pop up free, in which all the ladies love! Does someone need to be bended!" Replied Bender as they entered the ship.
"Well goodnight friends, I enjoyed playing cards with-." Said Zoidberg as he cut himself off, and realized that nobody was near him. "Ohhhh, how come nobody likes me, I just hope mutilda gets my craw-mail. WOOOAAAAAAAA!" Screamed Zoidberg as he looked out of the ships window; he noticed a fleet of omicronian ships coming nearby. Before he could tell anybody, he was teleported on the spot.
End of chapter 1