Author: Lioness Black
Pairing: Mark/Joanne, some incredibly light-barely there Mark/Roger.
Rating: PG13
Notes: I hate Mark/Joanne. This was my "pairing I never write the only way I can see it possibly happening" fic.
Disclaimer: Not mine, just good fun.
"Yeah, come over anytime. I'm here."
"Thanks, Mark. I really appreciate it."
Roger decided it was silly to even pretend that he was playing his guitar. He was listening in on the conversation Mark and Joanne were having by the door. It would be a lot easier if they weren't speaking so softly.
They had just spent three hours in Mark's room with the door closed. Roger was determined to find out why.
Mark and Joanne hugged briefly and she left. Mark closed the door and then sat down next to Roger on the couch.
"What was that?" Roger asked.
"Maureen left," Mark said.
"What?"
"She left. She moved out and in with some guy completely out of the blue. Or at least Joanne felt that way. I remember feeling that way when she left me, but looking back on it later, I could see why she left. Joanne didn't really know where else to go, so she came here."
"You were in there for three hours."
"She's upset."
"I'll bet."
"I don't know where Maureen thinks she has the right to do this to people. It pisses me off," Mark said.
"Yeah," Roger said, plucking the E-string on his guitar. "Me too."
---
"Look, it's not the end of the world. Clean break, you can move on easier."
"It's not just Maureen," Joanne said, pulling her legs up onto the bed. "The past couple of weeks... I'm confused."
"Confused?" Mark tried to sound detached. He tried to sound like he didn't have an idea, or maybe he didn't have a hope for what Joanne could be confused about. After all, Joanne was attractive, and she had, more or less, spent the last two weeks sitting in his bedroom. She had even spent the night once. Nothing happened, how could it? Joanne's a lesbian. And Mark is definitely male.
Which is probably why all of the blood rushed to his crotch and he couldn't really think straight.
"You're not stupid, Mark. You have to feel it too."
"You're rebounding," Mark said.
Joanne shrugged. "Maybe. But why would I rebound to you?"
"Because I know what it's like to be left by Maureen. To be left by her when I thought things were fine."
"That's all fine, but you're a man. I'm not... I don't..." Joanne sighed and held her hands up. "Penises are yucky."
Mark laughed. He couldn't help it.
"This is breaking the foundation of my livelihood and you're laughing?"
"Sorry, just... 'penises are yucky.' That's funny, that's all. Nothing personal."
"Nothing personal to you either. You can't help what you are. A man."
"Yeah..." Mark scratching behind his ear. "Do you think maybe... I mean, there are ways to get around the penis issue."
"Like what?"
"Let's just say... my tongue hasn't heard any complaints."
Joanne laughed. "Maybe because your tongue doesn't have ears. I can't say yes because you're offering to give me oral sex and kill all of my horrible fantasies about selfish sex crazed men who would stick their pricks anywhere."
"That's the only reason? Killing your fantasy? Well, we can debate for a while and you can wear me down until I grudgingly agree to give you oral sex."
"This is the weirdest conversation I've ever had."
"Tell me about it."
---
Sometimes, Mark can't believe what's happening. He can't believe that he's sleeping with Joanne. Joanne, of all the people in the world. The most lesbianish lesbian he's ever met, not that he's met a lot. But he definitely never pegged her for one who would sleep with a man. Ever.
He kissed her and she moaned a little. She was half asleep.
Then again, was he really sleeping with her? Was oral sex and then jerking off with his back turned really sleeping together?
She seemed to like the kissing. And she had no complaints when it came to the oral sex. But the one time they tried a little bit of the real thing, as Mark thought of it, she freaked.
It wasn't even trying. Mark suggested it. That maybe, after a month of this, they could try. She stared at him and left without a word. The next day, she came back, and things were back to normal.
As normal as this could be.
It didn't help that Roger was constantly interrogating him about this. "Did you do it yet?" "Did she throw up when she looked at your cock?"
No, Roger. No, Roger.
The next morning, Mark woke up to find Joanne packing her small suitcase.
"Joanne?" He fumbled for his glasses and put them on.
She smiled at him. "Hi, Mark."
"What are you doing?"
"I'm leaving."
"Why?"
She stopped packing and sat down on the bed. "I want to apologize. I shouldn't have used you. I needed someone when Maureen left. You were here. I can't imagine what you were getting out of this. It's not like you were even getting sex out of it. Maybe I wouldn't feel so guilty if I thought you were at least satisfied."
"I don't mind," Mark said.
"That's it. I needed a crutch, and now I don't anymore. If I keep this up, I'm using you because you're a nice guy. You're such a nice guy, and the fact that you're a guy makes a difference. I thought that maybe after a while, I might get used to the idea. That maybe, if I shut my eyes real tight, I could... help you help yourself. But I can't. I tried, but I can't. I'm sorry."
"It's okay."
Joanne smiled sadly. "I know, Mark, that you don't want to be alone. Even if it means being in a sexual relationship and not getting any sex. You know, I tried something different and it didn't work out. Maybe... maybe if you tried something different, it might work out for you."
"What are you talking about?"
"There's someone with a crush on you, and he's been asking a lot of questions to make sure you weren't falling for me."
"I... Roger?"
"You didn't hear it from me." Joanne leaned over and kissed Mark on the cheek. "Thank you for all your help. I couldn't have gotten through this without you."
Mark smiled. "Glad I could be of service."
Joanne left, and after a few minutes, Mark got up, and pulled on a t-shirt. He walked out into the living room where Roger was sitting with his guitar.
"Joanne just left," Roger said.
"I know. She's not coming back. At least, not to stay overnight." Mark sat down next to Roger and smiled at him. "So, you can stop asking questions."