Welcome to the sexy new Flare story!
Legal: I own nothing but the idea.
Important things to know before reading:
*Fitz spent a month in juvie for threatening Eli with a knife and then was released. He made up the missed school in summer school, and is a senior this year.
*Spin still works at and runs The Dot, he married Paige not Emma and the two live in town. Peter runs and owns Above the Dot, he is going to school in Oshawa, but comes home often.
*Uniforms were never enforced.
*Fitz, Owen and Bianca previously apologized to Adam, Drew and the Torres parents.
*Just in case it's not obvious, the italics are Clare's flashback.
*POV jumps back and forth a bit in this chapter sorry.
And that should do it, the rest is explained in the story, hope you enjoy!
Ch. 1 Kiss And Walk Through That Door
(CLARE)
My hand is grabbed suddenly and I'm pulled from the DeGrassi hallway into a dark empty classroom. Fitz pushes me against the wall, his lips connecting to mine, his tongue licking across my lips. I inhale a trembling breath as his hand lifts my blouse and gently strokes my belly. Fitz's tongue probes my mouth, his lips curling into a smile as he tastes the chocolate milk I had for lunch. His lips and tongue caress mine passionately, my arms loop around his neck, my body pressing to his. Fitz pulls out of the kiss after a few seconds, my lips feel lonely without his. He begins trailing open mouth kisses from my jawline, down my neck, and then along my collarbone. Each of his kisses draws a quivering breath from my lips.
"We can't go on like this," I tell Fitz on yet another quivering breath.
"Does that mean you want me to kiss lower?" Fitz questions, taking his lips from my flesh only briefly.
"Sneaking into classrooms and storage closets to make out in secret," I clarify.
He stops kissing my skin and looks up at me, "I could have pushed you against the lockers in the hall, you were the one so insistent about keeping us secret."
"We're not an us, we're friends with benefits, basically."
"You started this whole thing, you wanted it badly," Fitz reminds me before going to back to kissing my skin.
I bite my lip, thinking about how it all started, two weeks ago on September 24th…
"If you didn't want to watch kids flirt and kiss you probably shouldn't have taken a job at The Dot," Fitz says from behind me.
It's my first day on the job. It's been only a couple days since my breakup with Jake. I'm now sure Jake and I never should have gotten back together. I wasn't ready for sex; I was starting to feel ready for more, just not sex. Though, I probably could have gone about saying it in a different way. Told Jake I was feeling pressured for something I wasn't ready for rather than making him take that quiz.
I definitely wasn't ready to see Jake with Jenna; she always seems to be taking boys from me. It was bad enough to watch them at school, but Jake was bringing her home, she was invading my space. Home was uncomfortable enough with my mom's new marriage, made all the worse by Jake and Jenna making out in the room next to mine. I was complaining about it all to Spin the other day and he offered me a job. I took it right away, money of my own and a valid excuse to get out of the house as much as possible. I wasn't thinking about the fact that Jake might bring Jenna here.
"I took this job because he was bringing her to my home. Not only am I forced to watch Jake and Jenna, but Eli is flirting with Imogen," I huff in a whisper.
"You're too good for both of them," Fitz says and I smile.
Jake and Jenna, and Eli and Imogen all stay until Fitz tells them we're closing. They were flirting the whole time, and I swear stayed just to torture me. Fitz and I start closing, but I'm thinking about my exes, my relationships, there's some pent up aggression. Without even thinking I push Fitz against the counter and start kissing him forcefully. He responds instantly, his lips parting, his arms coming around me. I rubbed against him, he lifted me onto the counter and we continued kissing, until the kitchen staff called goodbye and we broke apart.
"Sorry, guess I needed that, I was feeling pretty lousy after watching my exes flirting."
"I have no idea what you're apologizing for," Fitz smirks, "you'll probably need it again. When you do, I'm happy to fulfill if you'll do the same for me. I promise not to go farther than you're ready for. Even making out, when done right, can fulfill some sexual frustrations."
"Okay," I nod before crushing my lips to his again.
That was two weeks ago, and we've been making out in dark places ever since.
"Ahmmm," I moan as Fitz's gentle kiss on my earlobe brings me back to the moment.
Fitz kisses down from my earlobe, along my neck to my collarbone. His lips feel so wonderful as they gently touch down along my skin. My nails scratch into the short hairs at the back of his neck. As much I'm enjoying his kisses I'm rolling my lower lip between my teeth anxiously. I'm wondering if sneaking around is the best thing, sneaking around and not having a relationship.
"I know and if felt good, it has been good, it's just sneaking aro…" I get cut off when his fingers slide up my skirt and stroke my inner thigh. His hand moves my panties aside and very softly stroke my pussy lips, a breath hitching in my throat, a moan forms on my tongue. He's touched there before, only through my panties though. "Mmmmmarr…" I begin to moan his first name. Knowing I'm about to say his first name he presses on my clit, my knees begin to shake, I grip onto his shoulders to keep from sliding down the wall. Fitz captures my lips just as he manages to get a fingertip inside me. He continues rubbing my clit, and my body starts to give in and want more. Then he suddenly pulls his finger out, stops rubbing my clit and completely removes his hand from under my skirt. My body trembles even more and lurches at the loss.
"You taste good," Fitz grins licking his finger.
"That was mean," I whine.
"Don't worry, I'll make it up to you tonight, we're both closing. Right now, you should get to class," Fitz smiles then leaves the room.
I wait a moment to catch my breath, fix my hair and clothes and leave the room. I walk to my locker, get out my backpack and walk to class. After lunch is art, an easy class that I unfortunately have with Eli. I sit on my stool, I'm still horny and it's not comfortable. I'm squirming a bit and Eli gives me a look, arching his eyebrow. I bite my lip and look away, Drew and Owen come into class, they also see me squirming.
"Can't get comfortable Clare?" Owen questions in a teasing tone and I glower at him.
I manage to get through the afternoon by not thinking about Fitz. I force myself to think of anything but Fitz, otherwise I'd never make it through school. I stay after school to do homework with Adam while Drew is at football practice. I work 5-10:30 tonight, the café closes at 10 on weeknights, but with closing procedures we won't get done until 10:30.
Fitz has exactly the same shift as I do today, and when we first get in the café is still pretty busy. We're the only two working the front now, but there is kitchen staff in the back. The café is very full, and at first we're very busy, taking orders, delivering food and cleaning tables. I barely have time to look at Fitz, other than asking him to grab me something or get someone their drink. After a couple of hours, it dies down, the café is still pretty full, but everyone in here has been here for a while now. Most of them are doing homework, all have ordered, and no one is leaving, so other than refreshing drinks there's not a lot for us to do. So, we're just doing busy work, and I can feel Fitz watching me.
(FITZ)
I watch Clare wipe down the counter as I refill the spare napkin holders, she's kind of bending over and her ass is swaying nicely. No one is paying attention to us, I don't think anyone can really see us back here. I decide to take advantage of it, I go up behind her, pretending to set a couple napkin holders on the counter. No one even glances at us and I slide my hand up her skirt.
"Fitz, what are you doing?" Clare shrieks in a whisper as I begin inching her panties down.
"Making up for earlier," I reply getting her panties down far enough that they fall around her ankles.
"Mark we still have customers," she snaps at me. I narrow my eyes and my wrinkle my nose at her for using my first name.
"They won't notice and you're going to be punished for using my first name," I whisper to her. I tap her leg to get her to step out of her panties, but she doesn't. "You'll trip otherwise, step out of them," I urge her with a husky whisper in her ear.
She bites her lower lip, rolling it between her teeth as she considers what to do. Finally, she steps out of her panties, I grin and bend down putting them in my pocket. One of the cheerleaders asks for more pop, so I go to her table to get her cup, leaving Clare there with no panties. She continues cleaning behind the counter, while I'm refilling drinks a couple people go up to pay their bill and she works the cash register.
When I return behind the counter again Clare's cleaning once more, she's now wiping down the counter near the cash register. Going behind her I lift skirt and gently caress her pussy lips. She freezes and a breath hitches in her throat, after a moment she goes back to work. Julian comes in and I move away from Clare, but my hand stays up her skirt. I simply start arranging things on the shelves in the corner.
"Double mocha and cinnamon latte to-go," Julian orders.
"What si-ize?" Clare asks, she gasps just slightly on size, but it sort of sounded like she hiccupped, so I think we're okay.
"Large latte, medium mocha," Julian replies.
Clare rings him up and I remove my hand from inside Clare's legs to make Julian's coffees. Clare doesn't move from her spot, and she's kind of squirming. I hand Julian his coffee and he leaves, I do a quick walk around the café to see if anyone needs anything. When I return behind the counter my hand returns up her skirt. I don't do much while we have customers, but I never give her panties back. I continue to tease her while we work, whenever I can get up behind her I put my hand up her skirt and caress her skin. Occasionally I even caress her pussy lips, but that's as far as I go with customers in the café. Finally, It's time to close and I kick the lingering customers out.
"Can I have my panties back now?" Clare asks in a whisper. She's whispering because the kitchen staff is still here.
"No, but you can start cleaning the tables," I reply.
She twists her mouth at me, but grabs the cleaning spray, rags and paper towels. While she starts wiping down table I lock the door, turn off the open sign, and begin closing the blinds. I start sweeping up, while watching Clare wipe the tables, chairs and booths. When she bends over far enough I can see up her skirt, I love watching her ass wriggle. I'm getting hard just thinking about touching her wonderfully soft, milky skin. Finally, the kitchen staff calls that they're leaving, I wait until I hear the backdoor close, then I run over and take Clare by the waist. I pick her up and put her on the table she just cleaned.
I guide her to lie back on the table, taking off my t-shirt for her to use as a pillow. When she's lying back I guide her legs to open, and I sit on the bench on my knees. I crawl my fingers up her leg, at the knee I go to the inner thigh, Clare bites her lip, looking at me with eager anticipation. The closer my fingers get to her lower set of lips the more she squirms. If she doesn't want me to do this she'll tell me no and I'll stop, but I can see by the way her body writhes that she wants this.
Using my middle finger to part her lips, I feel how very wet she is, she must have gotten very hot with all my teasing. As I slide the finger into her she makes a low moan, her eyes lulling back in her head. Attaching my lips to hers Clare releases her lower lip from between her teeth and she kisses me back. Her hand clamps to the back of my neck and she grips tightly as my finger slowly and gently thrusts in and out of her beautiful slit.
She's soon dripping, one of my fingers gliding in out of her so easily I add another. Clare moans even louder, breaking the kiss for just a moment to take a breath. She pulls me to her, crushing our lips together once again, kissing me with a feverish passion now. Her hips buck in rhythm with my thrusting, I slowly increase the pace of my thrusts, twisting and scissoring my fingers every so often. I can tell when she's close, her vaginal walls tighten around my fingers, her stomach gets tight and rigid. She sucks a breath in, pulling out of the kiss to release a long purring moan of orgasmic bliss. Her body shakes and rattles the table, she keeps her grip on me as if afraid that she'll melt through the table if she doesn't hold on.
"I told you I'd make up for earlier," I grin when she's finished moaning.
"Yes, you certainly did," she says breathlessly.
I grin and lean down to take her lips for a soft kiss, "How do you feel?"
"Exhausted, but very good," she smiles.
"I'll finish cleaning out here, you can go reconcile the cash drawer in the office, now that I've tired you out," I tell her. I help her sit up, then help her off the table. She grips onto me as her legs wobble a bit, I keep an arm around her until she's steady, though she's still leaning against the table.
"Can I have my panties back now?" She requests.
"No I'm keeping them as your punishment for calling me by my first name. I hate my first name."
She links her arms around my neck twisting her mouth at me, "I should be able to call you whatever I want considering what we're doing, and how intimate we're being."
"Hrm is that what we're calling it? Being intimate? I've been intimate with other girls and none of them ever called me by my first name, no one does. You can call me Fitz, Fitzy, you can even call me Honey or something equally as corny, especially if you're moaning it out, but you cannot use my first name, pretty much anything but my first name."
"Anything huh?" She questions with a devilish grin and mischievous look. "Can I call you Drew?"
"Didn't think shallow pretty boy was your style, but sure if you want, role play might be fun," I smirk.
"Can I call you Owen then?" She asks with a playful smile.
"Calling me by my best friend's name is still better than my first name."
"How about if I call you Eli?" She teases and giggles then begins to run. I growl and go after her, easily catching her and pinning her to the wall.
"Absolutely not, I never want to hear his name come from your lips, especially when I'm with you," I tell her firmly. Capturing her lips once more for a deep kiss. I release her and smack her ass as she walks away.
Clare gets the cash drawer from the register and walks into the back to reconcile it. I finish cleaning out here, there isn't that much left to do, and I've got all the closing procedures done by the time she's done. When we close together I always drive her home, her house isn't very far, but I don't want her walking this late. I stop at the house just before hers, just in case, she usually kisses me before getting out of the car, and doesn't want Jake to see. I think he should see; he'd probably be jealous, but she wants us to be secret.
"See you tomorrow," she smiles as she unbuckles and leans over. Her lips connect with mine, her hand caressing into my inner thigh and cupping my crotch.
With that she gets out of the car, I drive home very horny and thinking about Clare.
(CLARE)
"How was work?" Jake asks from the kitchen; he's eating as usual.
"It was good," I reply before going upstairs.
Jake and I are trying; our relationship is very awkward though. I know he's my stepbrother now, but it still hurt to be dumped (again) and it hurts to see him with Jenna. However, what I've been doing with Fitz recently has helped that pain. None the less it's hard for me to be around Jake much, or talk to him for any length of time. It's another good thing about the job, I'm out of the house most afternoons, evenings and a lot of the weekend. I don't have to be around Jake, and I don't have to see him with Jenna at the house. Of course, if they come into The Dot I have to watch them.
I finished my homework at school before going to work, so I take a shower and get ready for bed. I fall asleep easily and have a steamy dream about Fitz,fingering me at The Dot after it's closed. Much like he did tonight, only in my dream he's entirely naked and so am I. When he's done bringing me to orgasm with his fingers he kisses all the way down my body. Just as his tongue enters my hole in the dream my alarm wakes me up.
"Stupid alarm," I grumble sleepily as I turn it off.
I'm still quite hot, and kind of wish Fitz were here now. When there's a knock at my door it's not my private paramour, but my ex turned stepbrother.
"Clare, get up," he calls through the door.
Rather than quip anything back I respond, rather immaturely, by sticking my tongue out. Not that Jake can see through my closed bedroom door. I get up slowly and grab my robe from the door, when I open my bedroom door Jake is emerging from the washroom.
"You okay? Your cheeks are awfully red," Jake comments. Realizing I'm flushed from my dream I get slightly embarrassed. I'm pretty sure my cheeks go another couple shades of red at that point.
"Yeah, uh just warm," I reply quickly and duck into the washroom.
When Jake and I are ready for school he drives us. It's still warm and I could walk, it's not that far, but it also takes a just a couple minutes to drive. Jake and I are pretty silent, and it's a fairly uncomfortable ride, but it's over quickly. As soon as he parks I'm out of the truck, walking straight into school while Jake lingers at the truck.
I walk through the halls toward my locker, I'm thinking about classes and the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday next Monday. And, then I see Fitz, standing in the hallway with Owen and Bianca. I bite my lip, brushing a curl behind my ear, looking away because I feel my cheeks blush at the sight of him. Seeing him brings back memories of last night, my knees tremble just a bit at the memory. I can almost feel his fingers inside of me again, and I suddenly feel rather empty.
I have to distract myself, forcing myself to think of something else or my cheeks will get redder, and my knees will quake even more. My first class is English and I begin thinking about that, yesterday's class first and then my favorite books, favorite authors. It works and by the time Adam comes to his locker I'm sure that my cheeks are the right color again. Adam and I have both first and second period together, so we stay together all morning. I eat lunch with Adam, Alli and Dave. I was mad at Alli for kissing Jake, but she and I made peace after Jake and I broke up. I'm not mad at Jenna for being with Jake, but it does hurt a little to see them together.
I leave my friends near the end of lunch, use the washroom, and before I make it to my locker I get pulled into an empty classroom. I smile linking my arms around his neck and part my lips for him. We make out until the bell rings and we rush to class.
Both Fitz and I have a closing shift at The Dot again tonight. It's busy tonight, we don't have time for flirting or touching, and he doesn't take my panties tonight. At least, while the café is open we behave, as soon as the kitchen staff is gone Fitz takes me by the waist and lifts me onto the counter. His lips crush to mine, his hand combing into my hair gently grabbing the back of my head. His tongue strokes my bottom lip; his other hand gently strokes my arm with his fingertips.
I grip his shirt with one hand, parting my lips, my other hand scratching the back of his neck. Tonight that's as far as it goes before we finish closing, it's been a long day and we both have tests tomorrow. At least, I don't have a steamy dream about Fitz tonight and I'm able to sleep quite well all night. Friday is much like Thursday, with two exceptions. First, I have a test in understanding Canadian law, it's pretty tough, but Adam and I studied and we both think we did well. Second, other than passing in the halls I don't see Fitz all day. He has a test in his 3rd period nutrition and health class and he's studying all lunch for it. He works right after school, but I don't and I go to the football game with Adam.
Then it's Thanksgiving weekend, and both of us work, but we don't have the same shift Saturday or Sunday. So, that's two more days of not seeing each other. Monday is Thanksgiving, The Dot is closed, but I spend all day with my family. Fitz and Bianca are both having Thanksgiving with Owen and his family. Fitz told me they were doing so earlier this week, and the two of them are staying the night.
After so many days of not seeing Fitz I'm starting to miss him.
(FITZ)
"Dinner was excellent Mrs. Milligan, thanks for having me again," I smile patting my stomach.
"Yeah, thanks Mrs. Milligan," Bianca grins.
"It was a pleasure to have you both, as always" Mrs. Milligan smiles.
"We still have dessert," Tris comments.
"I couldn't eat another bite right now, we'll clean up and rest a little bit, maybe play a game. Then desert," Mr. Milligan says.
We all help clean up from dinner and then play a game. We then eat our fill of desert, really good dessert. Owen's parents say goodnight shortly after dessert, Tris goes up to his room and the three of us stay up watching movies. It's a Thanksgiving tradition, the only one Bianca and I really have. We've both spent the last five Thanksgivings with Owen's family, and every year we're thankful to do so.
"Wake up guys, we have to get to school," Bianca says hitting me with a pillow the next morning.
"I don't like school, I like sleep," I yawn.
"Get up Fitz, you have to stay in school," Bianca says hitting me again.
"Okay, I'm up," I grumble.
I stretch and yawn again, getting up slowly, Bianca snags the washroom first, so Owen and I go out to the kitchen and get some breakfast. When all of us are ready we leave for school, Owen and Tris in Owen's car, Bianca in her car and I take mine.
When I pull into school I see Clare and Jake just getting out of his truck. She looks beautiful today, a denim skirt, and dark red sweater, black boots that stop at her ankles. I see her curls bouncing as she walks into school. While watching her a smile began tugging at the corners of my lips. A carnal, mischievous smile as I get an idea, we don't have to be in class for half an hour.
I park, grab my backpack and walk into school as quickly as I can without attracting attention, after all I've never been known to rush into school. I don't go to my locker, but straight to the storage room. It's mostly old props from plays, but there's some old desks and other things in here as well. The only thing I'm really interested in are the sofa and armchair in the back of the room. While walking in I send a text to Clare, it simply says: Prop room. I set my backpack down and sit in the armchair. A moment later I hear the door open and Clare comes in. As soon as she comes into view I take her hand and pull her into my lap.
"Three days is much too long," I grin before crushing my lips to hers.
Clare grins into the kiss, her hand combs into the short hairs at the back of my neck. Her nails gently scratching my neck as her lips part for me. My tongue slides in, caressing her tongue, I hold her tight as our tongues begin fighting for dominance. I can taste strawberry jelly on her tongue, she must have had toast with her breakfast.
After several minutes of caressing her lips and tongue with mine I lift her sweater, she's wearing another shirt under it, I grip her shirt and begin pulling it up slowly, gathering it in my fingers until I feel her skin. My hand goes under her shirt, softly caressing her skin, she's so wonderfully silky soft. When my fingers gently glide across her belly her stomach muscles tighten, and she exhales into the kiss.
I work my hand up, my fingers crawling up her torso, I feel the bottom of her bra. Her muscles tighten again, she trembles a little, tensing slightly but deepening the kiss. Her fingers grip me tightly, my lips curling into a smile against hers. My fingers lift her bra, sliding underneath and I release a gentle moan against her tongue. Her breast feels like silk from heaven, so wonderfully and erotically soft and supple. Suddenly she breaks the kiss, at first I think she's going to moan.
"Mmmar…" she starts to moan my name, I narrow my eyes and moving my fingers up pinch her nipple. "Fitz," she squeaks out quickly.
"You were about to say my name."
"We can't go too far we have to get to first period soon," Clare remarks.
"I'd much rather stay here and study you," I respond before kissing her neck while toying with her breast.
"Mm…"
She sounds like she's going to say my name again, so I pinch her nipple again and a little harder this time. She gasps just slightly and squirms on my lap, I was getting hard already, now it's becoming painful. I moan against her neck as her squirming makes my growing erection painfully restrained.
"Fitz," Clare says a little more sharply tugging at my ear.
"Ow, I didn't know you liked it rough," I tease.
"I like getting to class on time, you can study me later," she says letting go of my ear.
"Can I?" I question arching an eyebrow.
"Maybe, right now I'm going to class," she says jumping off my lap rather fast. Then she walks quickly out of the room.
"Dammit," I grumble because I'm still very hard.
I have two choices, masturbate quickly or think about things that turn me off so it goes down. I look at my phone, two minutes until class, fastest way to get down is to masturbate and relieve myself. So, I do just that, thinking about Clare, thinking about her breasts, I cum pretty quickly. I find a tissue in my backpack and clean up as fast as I can, running to the washroom to wash my hands and barely making it into class. Owen and Drew both give me a look for getting in just as the late bell rings.
"You barely made it Mr. Fitzgerald, please take your seat," Mr. Armstrong says.
"You got to school at the same time I did, where have you been this whole time?" Owen inquires.
"Uh, washroom," I whisper.
Neither of them believes me, but they don't ask any more questions. I hate math, I'm in the simplest class and I'm still struggling. I know Drew feels the same, we study together sometimes. I'm quite happy when the bell rings and math class is done until tomorrow. I walk to auto shop with Owen and Drew, Eli follows a few feet behind us, he has that class next too.
I do like auto shop and Mr. Ehl is cool. The class always seems to go by pretty quickly. When the bell rings for lunch we wash up and go to our locker. We stow our backpacks and start walking toward the caf, talking about auto shop and Halloween which is in a couple of weeks.
"We're doing a party at Above the Dot, Clare and I are both working it, Spin is too," I tell them.
"Nice, do you have c…"
"ANDREW," Katie shrieks from the end of the hall cutting Drew off. He freezes, closes his eyes and slowly turns around.
"Ouch, full first name someone is in trouble," Owen whispers.
"Do you know how embarrassed I was having to tell my family that you weren't coming to Thanksgiving dinner?" Katie snaps at him.
"Then you shouldn't have told them I was coming when you hadn't asked me," Drew replies.
"I didn't think I needed to ask you, you're my boyfriend."
"So?"
"So you come to my house for holidays," Katie says as if it's every boyfriend's duty.
"Did you go crazy after that night at Jake's cabin?" Owen inquires. Katie glares at him, but before she can say anything Drew speaks up.
"You didn't ask me Katie, you told me I was going to your house for Thanksgiving and that you'd already told your parents. We were at my grandparents for Thanksgiving, I had to go it was the first one for Adam as Adam with my grandparents. Next time you want me to do something with you or your family ask if I have plans first," Drew growls at her.
"Trouble in paradise?" Bianca asks coming over.
"This is your fault, I just know it," Katie screeches and lunges at Bianca. Bianca's eyes go wide and she moves back, Owen and I grab Katie's arms and pull her back. "Get off of me you criminal delinquents," Katie growls yanking her arms back out of our grasp.
"Come on Katie let's go talk about this," Drew says taking her hand. She growls again, but goes with him.
"I don't know what he sees in her," Bianca remarks as we resume walking toward the caf.
"If you want Drew back maybe you should tell him," Owen remarks.
"I never said anything about wanting Drew back," Bianca retorts.
The three of us get lunch from the caf and we don't see Drew or Katie at all. After lunch I use the washroom and get a text.
Clare: Storage room again?
Fitz: Be right there.
I smile as I slip my phone back into my pocket. I walk to the storage room and open the door, I take a step in and then stop when I hear people making out. Lips smacking together, slightly heavy breathing, an occasional muffled moan. I close the door again, leaning against the wall and getting out my phone.
Fitz: The storage room is occupied we'll have to meet somewhere else.
I hold my phone waiting for her reply and trying think of other places to meet. Somewhere other people wouldn't go.
Update soon, picking up from here, and likely including Halloween. Next story to be updated is We've Got to Learn to Live with These Ghosts.