Portraits Talk

Elanor Sinerse

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Being a portrait is bloody boring.

All I get to do is sit here and watch as teachers and students go by, year in, year out. It's so boring! At least my ghost self gets to fly about and do something! But me? No, I have to stay confined to my portrait which was hung because I died while still in school. Oh, I suppose I could go into one of the other portraits in the castle, but why do that? Everyone in all of those portraits hate me anyway. Oh, why doesn't anybody like me…?

As I was saying, being a portrait was bloody boring, to make it even worse, I wasn't even hung in a busy part of Hogwarts! I was lucky if a person passed through here once in a week!

Which is maybe why my 'life' if you could call it that became much more interesting as of late.

Usually, only Trivial Travers was this lucky - he's the portrait in the astronomy tower, so that everyone understands what 'lucky' means.

And yes. We're peeping toms.

But come on! We're permanently this way forever short of being destroyed! We have to have someway to carry on the time.

Now where was I? Oh right. My new interesting life.

A boy started coming down here a while ago. He was quite handsome if I do say so myself. Black hair, piercing blue eyes, tan, and what a nice butt! I think he might've heard me giggle once, but the thing is, is that I was hung so high on the hall, that rarely anyone ever saw me. Makes you wonder why I'm here in the first place, doesn't it?

Anyway…

The boy was always down here alone, and after a while, he began to bring things down here, like books and papers. I once got a glimpse of his tie - green and silver. He must be Slytherin. He'd come down here to do his homework in peace apparently. I always wondered why he didn't go to the library to study but some people are just that way I guess.

One day he came down with no books, just himself.

Or so I thought until I heard footsteps coming from down the hall. I watched the boy look toward the footsteps, he seemed to tense a bit but when the other person was in the hall, he seemed to loosen all over again.

The new boy in the hall, he was a complete opposite - red hair, pale skin and freckles, and if my eyes don't deceive me, he has a Gryffindor tie on his neck!

What's going on here? I thought to myself giddily. Looking closer at the red-head boy I realized I recognized him faintly, probably saw him once on the way to my bathroom which was down the hall from me - wait, that's it! Ronald Weasley! Harry Potter's best friend! …what was he doing talking with a Slytherin? I stopped thinking, the dark haired boy was talking.

"You came, Ronald. I'm impressed." He told the red head, who was currently playing with the end of his sleeves, looking anywhere but at the Slytherin.

"Yeah, well…" Was all he had in defense. Poor boy. He looked awfully nervous.

"I'm not going to hurt you, Ronald." 'Ronald' looked up at that.

"Quit calling me that!" He asked somewhat harshly. It probably came out like that because he was nervous though.

"Quit calling you what? Ronald? It is your given name, isn't it?"

"Yes," he answered, "But it always makes me feel uncomfortable when people call me that. I prefer 'Ron'." The other boy let out a smile. Out of all the times I've seen him, I've never once saw him smile. It added so much more to his looks, something that I didn't think was possible.

"Alright then, Ron. As you know already, you are perfectly allowed to call me Blaise." I took mental note of the other boy's name. Ron looked nervous all over again.

"I-I know…" He stuttered out. " 'Perfectly allowed?'" He echoed. "Is there a way to be 'imperfectly allowed'? I thought you could only be one or the other-" Ron started to ramble. He looked kind of cute doing it too. Blaise put his hand over Ron's mouth, quieting him.

"I had a small lapse in my English, so sorry Mr. Weasley." He took a step back and bowed to him. "Please, except my humblest apologies." He said, with a slight trace of mocking in his voice. He walked closer to Ron, who didn't move away from his advance. To my shock, Blaise did something that I really didn't expect him to do. He grabbed Ron's chin, and dived in!

For the first time in…ever - because I certainly didn't see this when I was alive, I was seeing a boy kiss another boy! And from the slight tingly sensation I got from it, I certainly didn't mind.

I was just about ready to jump out of my portrait and push the two back together when they finally split for air. They need to keep kissing!

Ron looked about as surprised when they split as I was when they started to get together. I wonder if it's for the same reason…

"What…How…Why'd you stop?" Ron asked, getting close to yelling. He looked around shortly after that, making sure no one heard him.

No Ron, no one but me.

This Blaise person looked very pleased with himself.

"I thought you said you wanted to take this slowly." He said, his mocking voice coming back a bit larger this time. Ron grimaced.

"We never decided how fast 'slowly' is. One persons slow, may be another person's fast." Is what he told Blaise. I thought about this for a second, making sure I understood it how I hoped he meant it. Blaise smirked at him, looking still looking smug.

"So you're saying you're willing to take this a little bit faster?" Blaise asked him. I leaned as close to this as I could. If it was possible for you to fall out of a portrait, I would have, trust me.

Ron nodded. Blaise smirked again.

"Good."

And then they started snogging, right there in the hallway, where anyone could walk in on them!

Not that I cared.

I was just happy I was finally getting to see something interesting for once.

Maybe being a portrait isn't so bloody boring as I thought.

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A/N: If you figured out who was talking, good for you, if you didn't, it's Moaning Myrtle's portrait… There's a companion fic that goes with this called Humans Talk.