"I hope you don't mind, but I helped myself to one of your semi automatics."
The voice startled May out of her quiet morning routine, but she knew that voice anywhere. She certainly wasn't planning on hearing from the director at five 0'clock on Tuesday morning, but here he was, silently sneaking onto the bus and consequently, her morning yoga. Coulson smiled slyly and lifted the semi slightly into the air.
"Actually, I think I'm gonna order myself some of these, they come in handy out in the field. Good, old fashioned rifles. Believe it or not, they sometimes work better than the new stuff." He placed the gun on the floor, not as gently as he should have, and sat down in a nearby leather chair. May, unfazed by the sudden disruption, continued the slow motions of "hate-fu" as Skye called it.
"I wasn't expecting you back so early." She replied, her monotonous tone filling the silent air. The others were all asleep off the bus and on base, at least that May knew of. Either way, Coulson and May were alone on the bus, free to speak of the latest one of Coulson's "outbreaks". Still, May didn't want to disrupt Coulson's happy-go-lucky mood. It was rare now, to seem him so elated. The dark lines still lay under his eyes, but less noticeable than before.
"What's go you in such a cheerful mood?" She inquired, never once halting her flawless motions.
"I spoke with Simmons again. They're upgrading her, moving her upstairs. I think, we actually have a chance to get some information out of them, more than we're getting now," he rubbed hid head, he was tired, that was easy enough to see. However, at the moment, satisfaction outweighed exhaustion. May was glad that, if only for a moment, there was some sort of "light" at the end of the tunnel. It had been a long, hard past few months, and each member of the team deserved a break. No one deserved this break more than Coulson, but Simmons had done her part as well. After witnessing her best friend almost killed by a trusted member of the team, she voluntarily put herself in a dangerous position in the midst of Hydra. It was hard to imagine their Simmons, a downright horrible liar who barely managed to escape Agent Sitwell at the hub last year, becoming the almost skilled undercover agent infiltrating SHIELD's worst enemy. May wasn't sure how she felt about the young girl in such a hazardous position.
"Are you sure she's ready for this? Coulson, you and I both know Simmons has always been uncomfortable working in the field, but working admits Hydra? I don't know if she can handle it," May admitted.
"She can. What happened to Fitz, what Ward did, it changed her. Keeping her locked up in a lab with him so…" Coulson fumbled and found himself at a loss for words. Nevertheless, May provided the exact statement he was looking for,
"Damaged?" Cruel, but true.
He nodded.
"Having him in there everyday would have been a constant reminder of just how much he's changed."
"Do you think he'll ever go back to the way he was before…what happened?" She did her best to avoid using Ward's name. It just made her angry.
"Maybe. With time. Something will always be different, even if he makes a full recovery. I'm sure, somewhere along the line, something inside him changed. When he saw Ward, and drained the oxygen from the room, can you picture Fitz doing that before?" Coulson crossed his legs and looked at the counter in front of them, where a frame stood carrying a picture of the whole team(minus Ward)before Hydra. He'd be lying to say that he didn't miss the old days. The ones where they'd stay up late playing cards or monopoly, watching football or hearing FitzSimmons argue over their latest scientific advancement. But those precious hours were over and he knew it. There was no going back. There never would be. Maybe, someday, when hydra was gone and SHIELD rebuilt, some things might be similar. But never the same.
"Coulson, I don't think any of us will be the way we were before."
And he knew it was true.
