Disclaimer: I do not own the Matrix. However, I do own a spoon. Which is more than I can say about Neo. :P As usual, all the characters you haven't heard of are my own, so if you plan on stealing them just know this... www.dictionary.com is a real website(that I don't own) where I got the definition of "matrix".
Hold On
The computer monitor flickered as it shifted to the black screen saver. Jason nudged the mouse in annoyance. He ran a hand through his messy blonde hair as he leaned forward in his chair. His hazel eyes peered at the screen tiredly. Jason yawned as he rubbed an eye. It was approximately 4:17 in the morning. He cursed himself inwardly, remembering that he had school tomorrow. Or wasn't it today? Jason blinked hard, clearing his vision. He really should be sleeping now, should have been to bed hours ago, but he continued staring at his computer screen, waiting for Calypso to reply to his post. Jason hit Refresh and smiled as he gazed upon the newest post.
Calypso: It is an interesting point that you bring up, judging people by their actions rather than their motives. I prefer to judge a person based on their reasons. For instance, consider a man tried with murder. If a man is proved that he killed in cold blood, he goes to prison, while a man who killed in self-defense remains free.
Jason smiled, typing rapidly. Tapping enter, he submitted his post.
RAM: Yes, but the two men are still murderers. I do not judge people based on their intentions because you cannot always know a man's intentions. Also, how many times has someone committed ill for what is in their mind "for the greater good"? A man who steals so his family can eat is still a thief.
Jason waited patiently for Calypso's reply, but the message never came. Disappointed, Jason set his computer to stand-by. With one last yawn, he plopped down onto his bed, satisfied with the conversation although he knew he would regret it in the morning.
Jason tapped his fingers on his desk as he stared at the clock. 3:20. Only eighteen more minutes, Jason thought. Across the deserted classroom, Jason heard his English teacher straightening the papers he had finished grading and filing them away in one of his massive files. The middle aged man approached Jason's desk deliberately. Jason wrenched his gaze from the clock's dull surface and mentally prepared himself for what he had deemed "The Speech".
"It's a shame to see you in detention Jason," Mr. Bradshaw stated. "But sleeping in class is unacceptable."
Now it was Jason's line. "Yes sir." He didn't bother to add the customary "it'll never happen again" because it probably would.
"Look," the teacher continued. "You're barely skating through this class as it is. I know you're a bright kid. If you'd apply yourself you'd be getting an A easy, but you have to do the work." The teacher studied him carefully.
"Yes sir," Jason commented obligingly. Mr. Bradshaw broke the ceremony by continuing his stare. Jason shifted in his chair uneasily.
"You don't have many friends do you Jason?" Mr. Bradshaw probed, his expression indiscernible.
"I don't think that's any of your business," Jason retorted. He looked up at the clock nervously. Five more minutes...
"I was wondering if you were hanging around the wrong crowd," the teacher provided finally, his eyes still intent upon Jason.
The teen swallowed. "Don't worry about it," Jason replied trying to act nonchalant.
Mr. Bradshaw raised an eyebrow. "Perhaps I should call your parents and see why you haven't been getting enough sleep lately?"
Jason couldn't care less if Mr. Bradshaw called. It wasn't as if he'd be able to get a hold of them anyway, but there was something in the English teacher's tone that frightened Jason. Glancing up at the clock, he took a relieved breath. "It's 3:38. My detention's served." Jason stood, grabbed his backpack, and hurried out of the classroom.
Once free of the confines of the indoor high school, Jason was haunted by the feeling that someone was watching him, following him. The teen wiped his palms on his pants, noticing how sweaty they were. Jason caught himself looking over his shoulder as he walked home. He scowled. It's nothing, he thought. However, as he walked, his paranoia grew to the point where he was practically jogging home.
Jason reached his apartment in record time. Quickly, he unlocked the door and entered, being sure to lock it behind him. Jason plopped down on the sofa as he caught his breath, wiping sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand. Jason closed his eyes miserably. What am I doing? No one was following me. Jason took a deep breath and released it slowly. Opening his eyes, he got up and walked to the kitchen. He poured himself a glass of water, debating on whether he should make a sandwich. He wasn't hungry, but he hadn't eaten anything all day. Jason decided that he should have something to eat.
As he waited for his computer to log on, he chewed his sandwich. The monitor flickered to life, but instead of showing the start up page, it remained a blank black. Jason's brow furrowed in concentration as he set down his sandwich. He tried wiggling the mouse, but to no avail. He tapped ESC a couple of times, frowned, and then pressed CTRL+ALT+DEL simultaneously. Jason cursed his luck. Now my computer's taking a shit... Jason reached down to manually turn off the modem, but hesitated. Looking up at the screen, green letters began to form.
Hello Ram.
Who is this? Jason asked, his frown deepening. A knot grew in his throat and Jason rolled his wrists in an effort to relieve tension.
A friend.
Give me a name. Jason typed rapidly. He waited five minutes before he realized the hacker wasn't going to answer. What do you want?
It's not what I want. It's what you want.
Jason closed his eyes in thought. He was used to playing these games. Many hackers acted such, but something felt different about this conversation, as if it was more than just his computer being hacked into. Carefully Jason typed his reply.
What do I want?
The truth.
The reply startled him and he felt a bead of sweat roll down his forehead. Jason ran a hand back through his blonde hair. It's just another hacker, he told himself. Just messing with me. Debating whether he should just end the conversation now or play along with the hacker's game, Jason punched in a few words.
The truth about what?
Green letters appeared on the screen slowly.
The Matrix.
The Matrix... Jason closed his eyes, scouring his memory for the term. He remembered that a lot of the older veteran hackers used it to refer to cyberspace, but he hadn't heard it used like that in three years. He hadn't seen any of those particular veterans since that time either. The truth about the Matrix...
Jason opened his eyes slowly. Instead of the blank black screen, his desktop popped on followed by a few icons. A sudden idea sparked to life in Jason's mind. Hurriedly, he flicked the cursor onto the internet browser. www.dictionary.com, he punched in. The web page appeared in an instant. Jason typed in the word "matrix", but froze before pressing enter. Why am I doing this? He asked himself. The hacker's gone. I don't have to play his game. Though his thoughts condemned his actions, he tapped enter. Curiosity drove him along with a nagging sense that tugged at the back of his mind.
Matrix: A situation of surrounding substance within which something else originates, develops, or is contained: "Freedom of expression is the matrix, the indispensable condition, of nearly every form of freedom.***(www.dictionary.com)
The definition washed over Jason, meaningless. His mind latched onto two words "freedom" and "matrix". The words conjured emotions that felt foreign to the teen. A sudden longing enveloped him, followed by a wave of determination.
A knock on the door startled Jason out of his emotional tirade, filling him with an unexplainable fear. The conversation with the teacher rose from his memory and the thought that someone had followed him. Jason exited out of the web page and picked up his sandwich. He smiled at the thought of trying to defend himself with the meal. Well, I could throw it at him and run to the fire escape.
Jason peered through the peek hole and was confronted by the image of a pretty teenage girl. Long strawberry blonde hair cascaded down passed her shoulders, curled at the tips. Light blue eyes stared at the door. Her black tank top was low cut, enticing. She wore complementary white pants.
Jason opened the door. "What do you want Natalie?"
Natalie Johnson fixed him with a sad stare. "I wanted to talk to you," she stated.
Jason gave her a shrug and indicated for her to come in. After she entered, he shut the door. "What is it?"
Natalie sighed. "I know we haven't exactly been friends since we broke up, but I wanted to know if you were all right."
Why is she doing this? Jason asked himself. Two years ago he had fallen in love with Natalie. Truly, head over heals, in love. She was perfect in every aspect and Jason had thought he had found his soul mate. She had loved him just as intimately. However, amidst his joy there was always a sadness buried deep within himself. Jason shook his head to clear away the painful memories of the year old break up that had almost killed him.
"I'm fine," he answered.
Natalie shook her head. "But you haven't been at school and when I see you, you always look depressed."
Jason shrugged uncomfortably. "I've just been ditching more." Natalie pursed her lips. "How have you been?" He asked.
His ex-girlfriend smiled weakly. "Not so good." Her composure diteriated as tears began to form. "I've missed you so much," she cried, closing her eyes. "I just wish things could go back to how they were."
Jason's heart ached for her. How many times have I wished the same thing? He walked slowly forward and wrapped his arms around her in an attempt to comfort. "I'm sorry," he whispered to her softly, "but I could never live my life deceiving myself."
Natalie nodded, pulling away from his embrace. She sniffed as she wiped the moisture from her eyes. "I've been worried about you," she stated. "Please, if anything's wrong, you know you can tell me."
Jason nodded slowly. "I know."
Natalie placed a delicate hand on the doorknob. Twisting, she opened the door. "Call me," his ex-girlfriend murmured as she walked out. Her hand trailed on the doorknob, dragging the door shut, and ceiling her off from view.
Jason looked down at his hands realizing he still held the sandwich. He frowned as he tossed it into the trash. His eye caught a glimpse of the steak knife's handle which was placed in its sheathe on the kitchen counter. Jason walked into his room and plopped down on his bed as memory crashed down on him. He remembered two months after he had broken up with Natalie, holding the gleaming blade in his hand. He had stared at the foot long knife apathetically, knowing that it provided a very real escape from this prison called life. Jason draped an arm across his eyes, trying to block out the memories. He fell into a fitful sleep, filled with knives, green words, and suspicious teachers.
The teen awoke with a start, neither remembering what he had been dreaming about, nor what had prompted him to open his eyes. He rubbed an eye as he gazed at the clock. 1:28 am. His hand came away moist and he peered at it. I was crying... Shock tinged his conscious, but the emotionless void he felt in his heart could not be banished so easily.
He felt drained. Every night, it's always the same. He sighed as he made his way into the living room where the computer was located. Jason logged onto the internet quietly. He was greeted by a chat invitation sent by Calypso. He accepted it gratefully, distraction himself from the loneliness rooted in his heart.
Calypso: hey ram
RAM: hi
Calypso: Ram, this is my friend Apollo.
RAM: Hey Apollo, what's up?
Apollo: Calypso has told me a lot about you.
Jason's weariness stole away the flattery he might have felt at that statement.
RAM: Nothing bad I hope.
Calypso: lol
Apollo: I was especially interested in your opinion on cages.
Cages? Jason's brow furrowed. What's so interesting about cages? He typed in a noncommittal reply.
RAM: yeah?
Apollo: Would you care to elaborate further on the subject?
RAM: Well, I just think that cages can come in all shapes and sizes. Some cages are prisons; others may be school or a house, or even a body. What defines a cage is whether someone feels trapped or stuck there, whether they feel inhibited or not.
Apollo: Fascinating, and how would one feel inhibited?
RAM: physically, mentally, spiritually
RAM: emotionally
A prolonged period of inactivity stretched between the three. Finally Calypso broke the silence.
Calypso: I have to go to bed now. goodnight
RAM: night
The blue "user logged off" message flashed in the window and Calypso was gone.
Apollo: What's your cage Ram?
"What?" Jason said aloud, recoiling from the computer screen.
RAM: what?
Apollo: What inhibits you?
Jason thought for a moment then contemplated whether he should reply. Screw it. He decided.
RAM: life
Apollo: How so?
The teen closed his eyes and allowed his emotions to run rampant through him. His heart weighed heavily in his chest as the raw flood of sorrow and loneliness consumed him.
RAM: Because every night I lie awake wondering whether what I'm seeing is real or just another one of my dreams that leaves me crying.
Jason signed off of the internet quickly, knowing that he had just put his heart on display in front of a complete stranger. He didn't care though. He didn't even care if he spoke to either of them again. They weren't real, just letters scrawled across the computer screen, just as he was to them. Jason felt a lump rise in his throat. His heart ached as it had just after he broke up with Natalie. He buried his face in his arms as he fought tears. Despite his efforts, a few escaped from him. The teen's failure summoned more tears and they flowed down his cheeks like water from a broken facet. His tenuous control snapped as his mind was flung down into the depths of his despair.
Jason remembered the knife in the kitchen waiting to be put to use. His sobs came harder as self-destructive thoughts raced through his mind. He didn't want to die, but what was there worth living for? The has to be something better than this, jason thought desperately. The shard of hope brought sanity back to the teen and he clung to it for his life. Slowly, Jason regained control over his emotions, wrapping the pain back in its tight mental restraints.
He looked up at his computer to find it on the blank black screen he had found on it earlier. The neon green letters appeared upon the monitor, unfolding their message slowly.
Death is not an escape Ram.
I can't live like this anymore, Jason typed, no longer caring who this hacker was or how he knew his thoughts.
I know, came the reply. The hacker hesitated before continuing. Go down the fire escape. A block north there is an alley where a friend will meet you. You must hurry. I can't guarantee that he'll still be there when you arrive.
The hacker's urgency was conveyed to Jason. The teen stood up, not bothering to reply. He rushed to his window, only pausing to snatch his black sweatshirt from his floor. Opening it quickly, Jason climbed out of his window onto the fire escape. The metal ladder creaked as he made his way down. Skipping the last few rungs, he landed quietly. He jogged out of the alley as he shrugged on his sweatshirt, heading towards the indicated block.
Turning the corner, Jason strode into the unlit alley. It was deserted. Disappointment welled up inside him. Jason chastised himself for getting his hopes up. What did I expect? Some stranger to come and whisk me away from reality? Jason heard footsteps from the street. Instinctively, he drew back, pressing his back against one of the building's side doors. It wouldn't look good to be caught outside in an alleyway at almost 4:00 am by a cop. Suddenly, the door flung open behind him. A strong hand clamped over his mouth before he had a chance to shout in surprise. Another hand grabbed his shoulder, roughly forcing him inside the building. Jason caught a glimpse of a tightlipped man in a black suit before the door shut quietly.
Jason struggled against his captor vainly, for the man who held him did not move a muscle.
"Shhh..." Hushed the man. "Keep quiet. I'm a friend."
Jason stopped resisting and the man released him. The teen spun around to face his so called "friend". The man stood only slightly taller than himself, about six feet and looked about twenty. He looked to be a twenty-year-old Asian. Dark brown eyes studied him carefully. His black hair was short and spiked. The stranger wore an unzipped black leather jacket and black gloves. Under his jacket, he wore a black shirt and Jason saw the butt of a magnum peeking out of a holster under his right armpit. His dark gray pants were tucked into black motorcycle boots.
Jason opened his mouth to ask the stranger a question, but the man held an index finger to his lips, silencing him. Quietly, Jason's "friend" peered out of a crack in the doorframe. A frown crossed his face that was quickly replaced with the hard jaw set of determination.
"This way," he whispered, leading Jason down the dark hallway.
Jason followed the stranger silently as they passed door after door. The man paused in front of an exit that led out into another alley. He cracked the door open, checking to see if anyone was around. Finding the alley deserted, he flung it open, quickly moving to a sealed manhole.
"Come on," he prompted as he uncovered the hole.
Jason looked from the sewer entrance to the man crouched beside it.
"We don't have much time," the stranger stated as he glanced up the alleyway towards the street.
Jason grimaced, but entered the manhole, climbing down the ladder. Immediately, his nose was assaulted by the stench of human feces. His nose wrinkled in disgust. He looked up to see the strange man enter the hole, sliding the lid back into place above them. Blinded by the lack of light, the only thing Jason could do was to continue downward.
Moments later, Jason's foot touched the ground. He moved to the side, keeping one hand on the ladder and the other one pinching his nose shut. Jason heard the man's booted feet touch the ground next to him. The teen heard movement beside him, followed by the click of activating a flashlight. The beam cut through the sewers darkness, revealing the tunnel. A trickle of liquid ran down the middle, winding its way through large mounds of human waste. Jason nearly gagged from the horrid stench.
The stranger began walking down the tunnel, hugging the left wall to avoid the brown water. Jason followed, eyes watering as he tried to hold his breath.
"We're safe for now," the man stated. Jason wondered how he could talk without getting a foul taste in his mouth. His companion glanced back at him. "Yeah, I know this is the shit, but we'll be out of it soon."
If it hadn't stunk so badly, Jason would have breathed a sigh of relief.
"I'm Glitch by the way," the Asian stated. "Apollo sent me."
"Apollo?" Jason asked stunned and immediately wished he hadn't. He grimaced at the taste in his mouth. Calypso's friend was the hacker?
"Yeah," he nodded. "Ya know, we were lucky to get to you. Agents were swarming all over your apartment."
Agents? The teen pondered remembering the man in the black suit.
Glitch stopped suddenly and began climbing up a ladder. "You'll be happy to know that we'll travel the rest of the way by car."
"Travel where?" He questioned.
"Shhh..." Glitch switched off the flashlight and slid the manhole cover foreward. He paused, making sure no one was around before he climbed the rest of the way out. Jason followed him up, breathing a sigh of relief as he exited the sewer.
Jason found himself in the middle of a deserted street. Glitch was already walking towards a black car parked on the right side of the road. He entered the driver's sear, flicking the automatic locks off so Jason could get in the passenger's seat. Glitch started the car, put it in drive and pulled into the street. They drove nonchalantly down the road, making turns at various intersections until Jason was completely lost.
"Where are we going?" He asked.
"Somewhere safe," came Glitch's reply. His eyes scanned the streets and windows of buildings as if he half expected someone to come running out after them.
"Safe from what?" Jason questioned.
"Agents," he stated simply.
Jason thought for a moment. "You mean like the FBI?"
"Sort of," he answered.
"What does the FBI want with me?" Jason asked in puzzlement.
"That's easy. They want you cause you've had contact with us."
"Oh," Jason glanced at Glitch out of the corner of his eye. "So who are you besides 'Glitch'?" He paused then added, "And a friend?"
"I'm a hacker, like you."
"What are you guys? Some kind of cult?"
"You could say that," Glitch smiled. Suddenly, he pulled to the right, parking next to the curb. Beside them loomed a building not unlike Jason's apartment. However, it seemed to be abandoned with boarded up windows and the paint was peeling.
Glitch exited the vehicle, not bothering to lock his door. Jason got out, slowly shutting the door behind him. Nervousness tied his stomach in knots and Jason had a feeling that his life was about to change. Glitch opened the apartment door and motioned for Jason to go first. Jason stepped through the doorway onto the tiled floor of the apartment building, most of which were cracked. Glitch entered behind them. The door slammed shut.
"Elevator," he instructed with a toss of his head. They boarded as Glitch pressed floor number three. Slowly the elevator climbed. Jason's anxiety heightened with them.
"So are we safe now?" He asked, distracting his thoughts.
"Relatively," Glitch barked a laugh. "We are never safe."
The elevator doors slid open, revealing a man of average build sitting in one of the two royal blue chairs. His hands were folded across his lap, patiently awaiting his arrival. He had a young face, perhaps only in his late twenties or early thirties. However, lines of worry caressed his pale skinned face. His dark brown eyes held a depth that betrayed wisdom beyond his years. The man had neatly combed brown hair flaked with gray. He wore a silver trench coat, which was unzipped, revealing a blue shirt tucked into black pants. He studied Jason passively, his thoughts unreadable.
"You're Apollo?" Jason asked.
"I am," the stranger nodded slightly, still staring.
Jason felt uncomfortable under his gaze. This hacker had seen his most secret thoughts and knew of his suicidal tendencies. Jason had shouted those words as if into the wind. He would never have said them had he known he'd actually meet this person. But, perhaps if I had not said them, I would not have met him.
"Why did you bring me here?" Jason questioned.
"The first time we talked, I told you I could tell you the truth about the Matrix," Apollo answered.
Jason thought back to the conversation. Suddenly, he found the connection between all three of their interchanges. "You've already told me what it is," Jason stated.
"Did I?" The hacker raised an eyebrow.
"Yes, the Matrix is a cage," Jason replied. "The cage that has imprisoned me for my entire life."
Surprise etched itself across Apollo's face. A trace of respect flitted through his eyes as Apollo began to speak. "It seems I have underestimated you. Please, sit down." Apollo motioned to the chair in front of him with a sweeping gesture of his left arm. His trench coat shifted with the movement, revealing a holstered gun at his left hip.
Jason walked slowly to the chair, still pondering over their conversations. "So, if you've already told me about the Matrix, there can be only one other reason you've brought me here."
"And what is that?" Apollo asked, glancing behind Jason to look at Glitch.
"To help me escape," Jason answered simply.
"Very good," Apollo smiled in a congratulatory manner. "The Matrix is indeed a prison, though I don't know if its parameters are exactly what you think they are." He peered at him cautiously. "But are you positive you wish to..."
Apollo was cut off by the swinging of a door behind him. A twenty-two-year-old woman strode into the room. Long jest black hair cascaded down to her waist, flowing with her every movement. Dark tinted sunglasses concealed her eyes, but they didn't hide the perfect symmetry of heart shaped face. Her royal blue jacket seemed out of place among the grays and blacks her companions wore. She wore metallic looking pants and tall black boots.
"We have a problem," she stated smoothly, looking to Apollo without giving Jason even a cursory glance.
"What is it Raven?" Apollo asked. His tone had turned hard as he focused on her. Jason knew at once that he was their leader.
"Agents," she replied coolly. "Two of them."
"Shit!" Glitch cursed as his brow furrowed. He walked over to his two companions.
Apollo rose from his chair slowly. "How much time do we have?" He questioned her.
"Three minutes," she answered. "Tops."
"Not enough time..." Apollo muttered. He pulled a cell phone out of his trench coat's pocket. Dialing a number rapidly, he raised it to his right ear. "Pixel, give us an exit."
"Apollo!" Glitch demanded his attention. Apollo's eyes locked onto Glitch's as he hung up. "We can't leave him here! He knows too much. They'll kill him!"
Jason licked his lips as his heart began to beat faster. He wiped sweaty palms on the chair's blue cushion.
"I'll handle it," Apollo stated firmly. A phone beckoned in the room Raven had occupied. "Go."
Glitch pursed his lips, tossing one last glance at Jason before he turned on his heel and marched into the room. Raven followed him silently, leaving Jason alone with Apollo. Apollo stood stiffly with phone in hand. The wrinkles on his face became prominent as he contemplated his decision.
"Don't leave me," Jason pleaded in a quiet voice. He looked down in fear of the answer.
"I'm sorry," Apollo replied turning to face him slowly. He approached Jason's chair. His footsteps and the incessant ringing of the telephone echoed in Jason's ears as hopelessness encircled him. "RAM, listen to me..." Suddenly, Jason felt weight on his shoulder. He looked up as he realized Apollo's hand rested there. The hacker looked haggard though his eyes bore an intensity that drove away Jason's doubts. "You can get through this," Apollo assured him. He pushed his cellular phone into Jason's right hand. "It is imperative that you are not caught by the cops or Agents. You have to get away from this building. Don't go to you apartment or school. Find somewhere secluded and hide until I call you. Understand?"
Jason nodded, closing his hand around the black plastic of the cell phone.
"Good now go," Apollo instructed, pulling him forcefully to his feet. "Now!"
Jason sprinted towards the room Glitch and Raven had entered. He ran passed the phone to the open window. Behind him he heard the ding of the elevator, accompanied by the firing of an automatic. Jason climbed of the window, rushing down the fire escape. Behind him, the ringing ceased.
Jason hit the ground at a run. He heard a shout about him. Looking back, he saw the same tightlipped man he had seen earlier that night. The man raised a gun and fired, the bullets whizzed passed Jason as he ducked around the corner. He ran down the sidewalk, adrenaline pushing his tired body faster. Jason crossed an intersecting street, passing an old man. Hearing a strange noise behind him, Jason chanced a glance over his shoulder. In the place of the old man stood another man in a black suit, aiming a pistol at his back.
Jason sprang towards the alleyway as pain exploded in his right shoulder. A cry of agony escaped his lips as his world narrowed, focusing on a singe door on the side of the building. Jason's suddenly shaky hand closed around the doorknob. Luckily, it turned allowing him to enter. Keeping the presence of mind to shut and lock the door behind him, Jason staggered into the dark building. His legs gave out on him and he fell to the floor with a thud, not bothering to try and catch himself. Already he felt a pool of warm blood forming around him.
Ringing broke the silence of the gloom and Jason's numb mind slowly remembered the cell phone still clutched in his right hand. Summoning the last of his strength, he pressed the Talk button with his thumb and brought the phone to his ear.
"Hold on RAM," Apollo's voice called to him. "I'm coming. Just hold on!"
The words fell upon deaf ears. Jason's vision blurred in front of him as it became an effort just to breath. His hand released the phone and it fell to the floor. Slowly, his eyes closed and Jason could no longer feel the pain in his shoulder.