A/N: I've decided to upload my fics into a single account. eye of the beholder until let the walls break down were originally uploaded to my AO3 account, callingthequits. Then I went back to my roots and thought, "Hey, why not post it on Fanfiction too?" so here I am.
"-don't push me, you complete ass," Eren grunts. It's funny how even in the middle of fucking like rabbits he tries to fight his way out, even though Jean knows for a fact that they both want this. In fact, they've both been wanting this for months now, and it kind of shows.
So he just smirks because he knows it secretly really turns Eren on, and he fucking purrs, "I don't think I need to."
He loves watching Eren's cheeks burn. Red is such a good color on him.
Jean maybe unconsciously licks his lips, and Eren just jumps at him, pushing his tongue right in his mouth and Jean has no choice but to hold on and enjoy the ride. And if he maybe probably accidentally kind of touches and squeezes and gropes his way to Eren's ass, well, it's not like there's anyone to judge, is there?
And if anyone could see, Jean thinks as Eren makes a spectacular hickey on his neck, they wouldn't judge. They would look and they would stare and they would burn in envy and Jean would laugh at them all, smug and unrepentant, Eren on his arm and Eren on his lips. Because he's seen and watched and maybe imagined them looking at Eren in that way and it makes him burn in envy because Eren is his, his, his and they should fucking stay away.
Jean growls, and maybe he mutters, "Mine, mine, mine," as he puts his hands under Eren's shirt, all fire and passion and all the things that they kind of aren't and kind of are at the same time. And Eren, bless him, pushes their heads together until they crash and burn and Jean thinks that the heat is amazing.
Eren's hands are on his neck and his hands are on Eren's ass and he pulls him up until he's carrying him and the friction between their crotches is as potent as ever. And Eren just moans in that way that he does, and Jean can't, he absolutely just cannot anymore, so he kisses him and swallows whatever's left of heaven.
Because Eren, fierce Eren who's too suicidal for his own good, is probably the closest Jean's going to get to heaven. And damn if it didn't taste so good, and Jean kind of groans into Eren's mouth and he can feel that Eren kind of smirks when he does, so he doesn't whether to say fuck you or let me fuck you.
The fucker pulls away, and Jean kind of chases his lips when he does, and Eren grins. It's almost cute, if being cute was defined by looking so damn fuckable that it takes your breath away. "Walls of Sina, Rose, and Maria," Jean whispers, "You're actually kind of gorgeous, Jaeger."
He laughs that laugh that makes his eyes crinkle and sparkle and all that Krista shit as he grinds against him, and Jean's dick strains like it wants to fuck Eren through the fabric.
"Sure, Kirstein," Eren says, a small twitch on the edge of his lips like he's charmed. "You're pretty too."
And it's moments like this - moments where Eren is Jean's heaven and Eren looks at Jean like he's his world, moments where they could almost say it if they wanted to - where Jean's heart physically aches. He's not even sure what they are to each other, but it's like if they were born in a different world with different lives, they could practically say that they loved each other and mean it.
They could too, in their world, in their time. But it's not a risk they're willing to take, when they could die at any moment. And if they said those three little words, they'd be overstepping their boundaries and taking whatever they had to something they're not willing to shoulder, because they can't really afford to be selfish in this war they have.
Jean opens his mouth, and he almost says it.
Eren closes it with his, and the both of them can feel it.
And maybe probably possibly hopefully sometime soon, this war could end and they could - fuck if they know, marry each other or something, anything that means they could love each other as much as they'd like. Jean's got it all planned out even; he'd melt his blades and make a ring out of them, kiss it right before he gave it to Eren, all that sappy shit and everything. Eren would say yes, of course he would, and they'd fuck and gloat about it and fight and kiss it all better.
But now, absolutely completely and definitely right now, Jean is pushing Eren's pants down and their hearts are beating in sync with each other and that's what they can give and take and it's enough.