Hello guys.
So, this is the first time I've decided to write a Fairy Tail story. I've dabbled in other genres but so far, not too much in anime. Being a fan of the show and a fan of the characters, there is so much to write about. I'm awful at summaries so please stick with me. Any reviews that are posted to keep me both happy and motivated are appreciated and shall be replied to accordingly.
Please note: English is not my first language and I am writing with no Beta reader so I apologise in advance for any mistakes you may find.
Lastly: I do not own any of the character featured in the story I am about to write, I just borrow them for your enjoyment and my writing addiction.
Chapter One.
Lucy Heartfillia heaved a sigh, her small shoulders rising and falling with the action as she raised up from the kitchen sink. Her back ached in protest as she straightened, stretching out muscles that had been forced into a slouched position for the past fifteen minutes.
Satisfied with the results of her washing up endeavour, she glanced around her apartment for anything else that needed dunking in the sink before she pulled the water. Long gone were the days she could just hurl everything lazily into her dishwasher. That had broken months ago. Turning her attentions back to the now frothy water, she glanced over at the one item left oh her counter, right next to the drainer.
One solitary glass, remaining in the same place that it had for four months now.
It was wholly stupid she knew, yet she still could not bring herself to wash that particular item. It was his, it was Natsu's glass. The one glass that he had used as he had written down all his plans to her in a letter and left it on her living room table for her to stumble across. That glass was a symbol of her loneliness, a symbol for the past few months of her concern for her best friend's wellbeing. It was also a symbol of her sadness, reminding her every day that her beloved guild, her family – Fairy Tail had gone its separate ways.
It was stupid, but she needed that symbol nonetheless.
It wasn't just her that suffered at the loss of her guild, she knew. Every member of the guild had their own demons after the disbanding. She still had friends here, friends that she couldn't have imagined staying in Magnolia without.
Nothing had been quite the same though, not without the flame haired boy and his little blue cat.
Gods she missed happy. Even when they had intruded all the time, messed up her apartment and made her wish they could find someone else to annoy. Even when Natsu ate all her food, slept in her bed, covered in dirt from his training. Even when happy tried to bring her old fish and scratched her furniture.
She still missed them.
She heaved another heavy sigh, shaking her thoughts back to the present. Lucy had one more quick check over her apartment before she decided she was accepting of its cleanliness. She had promised Mira that she would be company tonight. Having the elder girl over to talk always cleared her mind, in fact she wasn't quite sure what she would have done without her since Natsu left.
Not just Mirajane, but Erza too.
She knew they felt the loss of their guild mates just as much as she did. For Erza, it was like losing a part of her life that she had worked so hard to protect over the years. She knew Erza had seen everyone in the guild like her family, family she would have given her life to protect. Especially Natsu and Grey. Losing them had hit her hardest, since she had spent most of her life babysitting them to ensure they didn't kill each other. As for Mira, she really had lost her family. Since Elfman and Lisanna had left to train, they hadn't returned to Magnolia even once.
She knew that Mira would have loved to go with them, but she also knew that Mira wished to stay close to the guild, just in case any of their other friends needed a guiding light to return home to. After all, there was no one better to greet them than the beautiful, smiling face of the eldest Strauss sibling.
Lucy dreamed every day that they would come back. Every one of them.
Until that day, she would pin a smile firmly to her face and be there for her remaining friends as much as she could. Glancing at the clock above her fireplace, her eyes widened at how long she had spent daydreaming. Plue lay below it, his little white body warming by the fire. It was a constant drain on her magic keeping his gate open but the company he provided was worth it. She smiled at his little quivering frame as he slept, before turning away to hurry through getting changed. Mira would be here any minute and although she looked presentable, she still needed to do something about her unbrushed hair and slouching clothes.
It didn't take her long to sweep her growing blonde locks into a side pony-tail, before throwing her clothes into the nearest corner and replacing them with a clean set. She chose a cute little pair of pink shorts and a plain-looking black vest top before snapping her head up at the soft knock sounding at her door.
Cursing at her lack of footwear, Lucy clumsily pulled on her fluffy-bunny slippers before sidling over to the door and throwing it wide.
Before her stood a smiling Mirajane, looking as beautiful as ever in one of her long casual dresses. A bottle of wine wrapped lightly in her arms. Lucy's eyes widened at the second figure stood next to her, completely unexpecting of her visit.
"Erza! Mira!" Lucy exclaimed, grinning widely as the two women smiled down at her.
"I hope you don't mind Lucy, I had no plans for this evening so thought you may enjoy somewhat of a girl's night in" Erza said, leaning lightly against her doorframe, a sheepish grin on her face.
"Mind? Why would I mind? I feel like its been ages since I've seen you." Lucy stammered, her heart warming at the extra company. As always, Erza's red locks hung down loose, her armour replaced by a black vest top and leggings below.
"Please, come in." Lucy said swiftly, stepping back from the door and waving them past.
"Well it has been a few weeks now, hasn't it?" Erza asked, crossing her arms over her chest like she always did as she walked in, her eyes darting around the apartment.
"Yes, the last time we spoke you were heading out on an errand for Crime Sorciere weren't you?" Lucy asked, her tone casual. Erza had been doing solo missions for Jellal to keep herself busy since they no longer had a jobs board to look for.
"Yes, the mission took longer than we all expected." Erza said softly, her eyes turning to Lucy. "I hear you are the new up and coming model for Sorcerer Weekly." She winked at the younger blonde, forcing a blush to rush to Lucy's cheeks.
Lucy cringed as she replied.
"I needed some money to pay for my apartment, so I agreed to do one job." She ran a hand awkwardly through her pony-tail. "Before I knew it, they were asking for me to do shoot after shoot."
"Popular then it seems." Mira teased, the blush deepening on Lucy's cheeks.
Before Lucy could respond, Mira had placed her bottle of wine down on her coffee table, swiftly turning to her and pulling her forward into an embrace. Lucy stiffened in surprise, before loosening and returning the contact, her hands looping around Mira's waist. She breathed in a sigh, Mira's hair tickling her nose with the smell of vanilla and coconut.
"How are you holding up Lucy" Mira whispered, her arms tightening around the blonde's shoulders. Lucy hitched a breath before responding, her heart hammering at the question.
"I'm doing ok." She said quietly, trying to keep the sadness she felt from her voice. "I mean, I'm doing as well as I can."
Mira's arms squeezed even tighter at her reply and for the minute they embraced, Lucy felt content. There was almost an emptiness when the older woman eventually let her arms loose around Lucy's body and stepped backwards, looking at her with those piercing blue eyes instead. She knew Mira could read her, she always could. The glitter in Mira's eyes told her she knew she wasn't alright and that she was barely coping. Yet Lucy put on a brave face, hitched a small smile back on and turned to Erza before Mira could say anything else.
Erza had looked away as they had hugged, her eyes fixed on the little white celestial spirit by the fire.
"You know what we said about this Lucy." Erza said softly, her voice stern. She nodded towards Plue. "You already know that keeping his gate open is a constant drain on your magic energy levels."
The carrot-nosed dog stirred as Erza turned back to Lucy.
Instead of responding, because she felt like it was the right thing to do, Lucy took a quick step forward and threw her arms around the startled Red-heads neck. Like she had with Mira, she felt Erza stiffen at the contact, before returning the embrace, her arms hesitantly finding Lucy's waist.
"I've missed you too Erza." Lucy breathed, a different scent hitting her. Erza's was more rugged, like pine, grass and the metallic hue of weapons. Still, the taller woman was solid before her. She needed something solid right now.
"I've only been gone a few weeks Lucy, its hardly something to be upset about." Erza separated herself from the blonde much faster than Mira had, a soft red glow to her cheeks.
"It feels like much longer." Lucy sighed, reluctantly letting go of the requip-mage before her. Erza never was one for sentimentality. Erza did however, keep hold of Lucy's arms, pinning them lightly to her sides. Their eyes, nearly a matching hue of hazel met – Erza's brow furrowing.
"You look tired." She whispered, noticing for the first time, the small dark circles below Lucy's eyes. Flicking her eyes to Plue before resting them back on Lucy.
Lucy wriggled quickly from Erza's grasp.
"I'm alright, just haven't been sleeping so well. My writing has been keeping me busy at night." Lucy knew her tone was unnaturally high as she stammered the lie from her lips. She hadn't been sleeping well at all, writing had nothing to do with it.
"So, wine huh?" she said quickly as Mira and Erza caught each other's gazes. "What do you say we crack it open and I'll fetch us some glasses?"
The smile returned to Lucy's face as she turned it back on, hurrying quickly to the kitchen. Her freshly washed glasses sitting neatly in one cabinet. Grabbing three, she hurried back to the waiting women, trying to keep her gait as natural as possible.
Erza was right. She was tired. There was a deep-rooted tiredness from her lack of sleep lately, from keeping Plue's gate open and from the thoughts constantly swirling in her head. At first, she was coping. She was telling herself to be strong, that Fairy Tail was only going to be apart for a short amount of time and that her guild mates would soon come rushing back from their adventures. As time had gone by, keeping her resolve had been harder. Keeping up the charade of happiness while her comrades trained and travelled to whoever knew where in Fiore had slowly eaten away at her.
Lucy knew she should confide in people, but keeping her worries locked away meant they weren't there on the surface. If they weren't there, she didn't need to confront them. Erza and Mira had always been so strong, never letting their worries effect their lives and Lucy knew that if she confided in them, she would feel like the weak one as always. She was tired of being the weak one. So, for now, for just a little bit longer, she would try and pretend that her life was not falling apart around her.
"They have another job for you already?" Mira whined softly, her gaze raising to Lucy as the blonde sidled into the conversation. Placing three glasses on the table before them.
Erza nodded grimly, pulling the cork easily from the bottle of wine clutched before her knees as she answered.
"They have a lot of people to keep tabs on now that we aren't around to keep control of things." Erza explained, pouring the alcohol evenly into each glass mindlessly, its deep red liquid filling the room with a fruity aroma.
"Its hard for them to keep track of everything with just the two of them – not counting the Oracion Seis of course." She continued, hefting a glass into her hands and crossing one leg over the other gracefully, before leaning back in her chair. "I mean, crime has pretty much doubled amongst wizards over the past couple of months. While I have no work, I may as well do what I can to help."
"Wait, you are leaving again so soon?" Lucy stammered, throwing herself on the two-seater next to Mira and lifting her own glass. "Without any time back in the city? How long for?"
"I'm hoping it wont take too long." Erza sighed. "Its only reports of some strong dark magic presence east of Hargeon, Crime Sorciere need someone to scout more than anything. Reports of people passing the woods state that they feel a dark energy coming from somewhere in the trees around there.
"It sounds dangerous." Mira said quietly, lowering her gaze to her drink. "Do they know what's causing it?"
"I would imagine just a guild wizard dabbling in magic that's too powerful for them, that's usually what it comes to." Erza said, sipping her wine and nodding approvingly. She swirled the dark liquid around in her glass. "There is nothing to worry about, compared to what we went through as a guild, the jobs I'm being sent on are simple."
She smiled reassuringly at Lucy. Lucy knew she had noticed the downcast expression on her face as she spoke.
Erza had only just come back from her last job for Jellal and she was leaving so soon.
"I like to keep busy these days." Erza murmured into her glass. Avoiding the gaze of the other two women. "With Fairy Tail gone, there isn't much I can do to keep my mind preoccupied." She tipped her wine glass back, finishing the bottom all in one go.
"They aren't gone." Lucy whispered, looking down at her own glass. "How can you say that Fairy Tail is gone?" her pink guild mark still shone like a beacon on the pale skin of her hand. A painful reminder of the guild she loved with all her heart.
"Lucy…" Mira said quietly, sliding a hand to the blonde girls knee next to her.
"Whether they are gone, or whether they will return, there comes a time where we have to move on with our lives." Erza sighed. "I'm trying to find a path Lucy, I'm trying to find something I can do to keep the truth of the guild disbanding at bay."
Lucy looked up at Erza in surprise as she continued.
"Its hard, but where are guild members are right now, they are moving on with their lives. If we sit here and pretend that everything will get better on its own, we are lying to ourselves. We both know you aren't coping with this Lucy. Do you think Mira and I can't see how much you are trying to hold on to something that you want so desperately to happen that you've stopped seeing the truth around you?"
Lucy's hand trembled around her glass at Erza's words.
"Erza…" Mira started, being swiftly cut off by Lucy's outstretched arm.
"No, let her continue." Lucy said quietly, staring at her lap, loose parts of her hair falling across her face. Her eyes shadowing even more.
"Do you think we can't see the strain you are putting on yourself every day. You put a smile on your face to try and convince others as much as you are convincing yourself. You don't want things to change, so you pretend that they haven't. Lucy, it's alright to admit that you aren't ok." Erza placed her glass back down on the table, the sound ringing through the apartment.
"Like you aren't alright, Erza?" Lucy whispered. Her tone shallow. "Is this the only reason you came here tonight? To lecture me on how I'm trying to live?" her hand trembled more, glass shaking beneath her fingers. Mira shot Erza a warning glance. Sure, they had both agreed to talk to the celestial mage tonight, she had brought Erza along to help ease the troubles from the girl before them. Mira realised now what a mistake she had made. Erza's personality was too strong for rational talk when she was overthinking, and Mira knew she was only overthinking out of concern for Lucy. It had been hard on them both seeing her spiral downwards over the past couple of months.
"You mean like you run away to play guilds with Jellal, even though our own guild is going through all this?" Lucy said, her voice raising. "How you throw yourself into all this dangerous work to make yourself feel better, not caring how the rest of us would worry about you alone?" Lucy was still trembling, her hair covering her eyes as she stared at her knees, hand curling tighter around the fragile material holding her drink. Erza's own eyes narrowed and Mirajane looked on in sadness at the two.
They were both hurting.
"I'm accepting what happened like a reasonable adult, instead of moping around waiting for things to change themselves." Erza growled, gritting her teeth. "Things wont change themselves Lucy, our guild is gone, and we can't sit here for the rest of our lives hoping for it to change!"
Lucy shot to her feet quickly, eyes snapping to meet Erza. Eyes full of anger, sadness and all the pain she had felt over the past few months burning as tears within them. With one final squeeze, the glass in Lucy's right hand exploded under the pressure. Mira gasped, jumping to her feet as Lucy balled the now empty hand into a fist, glass tinkling to the floor below.
"So, you just keep walking out of my life like I mean nothing, without me knowing where you are or what's happening, Just like Natsu did." Lucy's voice was at a pitch close to yelling as the first tear leaked from her eye and cascaded down her cheek.
"Just because I'm weaker than you all, because I'm holding on to some kind of dream of our family that's likely to never come true. Just because I don't have the same courage or strength of anyone else and because I'm too scared to move on and miss an opportunity to rekindle something like we had in the past, you'll leave me behind again."
Erza had stopped in her tracks, narrowed eyes widening as Lucy practically yelled at her.
Mira had grabbed hold of Lucy's right arm, a steady trickle of crimson mingling with the wine still staining her fingertips. It dripped slowly to the floor at her feet. Lucy pulled out of Mira's grasp sharply, ignoring the sting of glass and alcohol marring her palm. She couldn't do this anymore, no matter how hard she tried. The people she cared about were all moving on with their lives and here she was, trying to hold on to the shreds of hope she had left. She was completely drained, even as more tears slid down her face, she was just too tired to care.
"Lucy…" Mira said again, her voice as gentle as it always was.
Lucy could feel her shoulders shaking with the emotion she had always tried to keep bottled up around the women before her. The strong figures that she had always looked up to. For once, she wished she could be just like the S-class mages, wished she could have their strength and resolve.
"Lucy, I…" Erza stammered, taking a step forward. "I didn't mean…"
Lucy shook her head, tears still falling. She knew Erza had meant it. The crimson-haired warrior didn't tend to speak without saying what she truly meant at all. She also knew that Erza was right. She was living in false hope of a dream that no longer existed. The minute Natsu had written that note, things were always going to change. He had written her out of his life without a second thought and the thing that terrified her the most, was that the people she still had left to care about would do the same thing.
This time when Mira took her by the wrist, her other arm around Lucy's shaking shoulders, she didn't resist. Her hand throbbed with pain as the emotion flowed through her. Her blood still trickled to the floor below, Mira lifting her arm gently to take a look at the damage she had caused.
"I'll go get some water." Mira said softly, beckoning to Erza as she let Lucy's arm back down to her side gently.
Erza was by her side quickly, strong arm wrapping around her waist more gently than Lucy could possibly have imagined, a soft side of the mage that she rarely saw. Lucy knew Erza had only said the things she had because she was hurting too and that Erza only meant did it because of how much she cared.
"I'm sorry Lucy." Erza said softly, her forehead leaning against Lucy's own brow. Lucy tried to hold back the sob that escaped her, but she was just too exhausted to fight it. She felt completely drained. As she let herself sink back down into the chair behind her, Erza guiding her, she heard Plue disappear with a pop as his gate forced closed. She didn't have the magic to keep it open anymore.
"You aren't weak Lucy." Mira said, walking back into the room with a bowl of warm water gripped firmly in her hands. "If only you knew just how strong you've been all this time." The sad smile on Mira's face as she made her way back to the comfortable chair and examined Lucy's hand only made the younger girl sob harder.
The pain of the piece of glass Mira tugged gently from her hand didn't even register, nor did the sting of the warm salt water meeting her palm, washing the still dripping blood from her skin.
"You've been strong for longer than anyone should have to be Lucy." Erza said quietly, still holding tight to the girl next to her. "It's the only reason we have also been able to accept what happened. No one is leaving you behind, not again." She tightened the arm around Lucy's waist as her sobs subsided a little. Replaced by a cringe as Mira pressed down on her hand.
"You don't have to pretend to be alright." Mira said, her gaze apologetic as Lucy moved her hand uncomfortably beneath her fingers. The cut was deep, but at least with the alcohol that had washed over when the glass broke, it was unlikely to become infected. Wrapping it tightly for a while should ensure the bleeding would stop.
Erza gazed to where Mira was working, looking over Lucy's guild mark, before glancing at her own. Even if Fairy Tail never reformed, they could get by somehow.
"I'm sorry Erza." Lucy choked out, her puffy tired eyes meeting the scarlet haired woman, who was shaking her head furiously.
"You've nothing to apologise for." Erza reassured. "Sometimes our emotions get the best of us." She smiled warmly down at the girl before her as Mira fussed around, wrapping Lucy's hand with some linen she had conjured on her quest for water.
"I'm just so tired." Lucy murmured, the circles below her eyes appearing darker now she had cried.
"I know." Erza whispered, her guilt panging at the sight of Lucy's finished wrapped hand. The girl that had put on a brave face for the rest of her family had finally needed someone to lean on herself.
"Thank you, Lucy" Mira whispered, "for keeping us going, all this time."