Makoto takes care of his longing for Haru, who longs for Rin, by getting high. The club members notice the change in Makoto's attitude and one night Haru follows him to the run-down beach where he smokes. Haru tries to get him to stop. WARNING: DRUG USE, DEPRESSION, GAY BOYS. If any of these things bother you, don't read this story. PS: I'm not suggesting drugs. Ever. Drugs are bad! Don't do them, kids!
Makoto gripped at his chest tightly as he slumped slumped against the cold shower wall, steaming hot water rushing over his shivering body. He covered his mouth as he sobbed, crushing his eyes shut tightly. How could he go on like this? Everyday it became harder and harder to keep up his signature smile and friendly demeanor. He just wanted Haru to love him, but watching his best friend and crush angst over Rin ripped his heart to shreds. Even if he couldn't have Haru, he wanted to be happy for him, to smile for him, to support him in this hard time... but Makoto was controllably selfish. No matter what he told himself, he couldn't end the shattering inside his chest.
Today was particularly bad. Not Haru, who knew him almost inside and out, or Rei who was very perceptive, or Nagisa who had a strong sense of empathy, but a teacher had caught a slipped expression, and asked him if he was alright. Makoto quickly corrected himself, dismissing the teacher's worry as exhaustion from swimming practice. Later, during the club, his time did not improve, but fell a few seconds behind, and Gou called the practice off short, having no real reason why, but giving Makoto a sympathetic glance. Haru, upset that practice had ended early, decided to stay at the pool to continue swimming until the school closed, and while normally Makoto would stay with him, instead he quickly made his why home and found himself crying in the shower.
After finally getting his tears under control, he turned off the water, dried off haphazardly and put on his jogging suit. He jogged along the beach, something he would never do without Haru due to his fear of the ocean, but something about being afraid got his mind off of his cold friend. Eventually, Makoto found himself in a remote, run-down area of the beach. A few broken picnic tables and bars that may have once held swings lay rotting in the wet sand, forgotten, just like Makoto will be forgotten by Haru. He sat down on a waterlogged piece of driftwood, letting the tide soak his shoes. At first, he shivered at the cold water, but calmed when his feet became numb. If only he could make his whole body feel this warm numbness...
Makoto became aware that he was no longer alone when her heard the crunch of the sand. He turned his head to find a small group of people dressed in mostly black clothes, donning piercings and tattoos of all shapes and sizes.
"Ooho? Looks like someone found our secret hideout," said one of the kids, a short male with thick black eyeliner.
"Sorry, I was just leaving," Makoto mumbled, feeling stupid and embarrassed and anxious for being caught by these strange teens.
The only female of the group grabbed his arm as he walked past, "Hey, what kind of asshole put such a pitiful face on a hottie like you?" She asked, smiling her black lips around piercings. She had bright amber eyes and fiery red curls.
Makoto shuffled nervously under the gaze of the teen, "Eh, it's not really the quote-unquote 'asshole's' fault. It's my own fault for falling for him," Makoto admitted. He was unsure as to why he was telling these strangers anything, but somehow, it felt as if a small weight was lifted from his shoulders as he confessed.
The girl, whom he learned was called Nin, coaxed him to sit down next to her on the log, where he proceeded to tell her and her two male friends, whose names were left ambiguous, about his torturous love for his childhood friend, and that 'so-called' friend's longing for another man. Nin's eyes softened as Makoto spoke, empathy swimming in their golden depths. The tall brunette heaved a heavy sigh when he finished, pressing his palms hard into his eyes to force back any tears.
Nin rubbed his arm gently, then gave it a careful tap to gain his attention. "Hey, Mako-onii, we've got something that might help you take the edge off! Right guys?"
Makoto looked at the group cautiously, startled by the strange nickname, "R-really?"
Nin smiled and slipped a small plastic bag and a glass pipe from her large leather coat pocket. "Have you ever smoked before, Mako-onii?"
"Makoto looked at her, shocked, "S-smoked?! L-like cigarettes?" he stuttered.
Nin giggled, "Hmm, sort of, but this is much better," she held up the plastic bag, Makoto noticed how dark it had gotten as he struggled to see its contents without his glasses.
"I-is that... is the weed?!" Makoto questioned fervently.
"Yes," Nin replied, "And you're gonna smoke it with us."
Makoto looked away unsure, "I don't think I should..."
"I know what you're thinking," Nin interrupted his train of thought. "You're thinking 'drugs are bad, what about swimming, what about my family,' blah, blah, blah. But, I can assure you, a little weed won't do anything bad! It will probably even help you act like your old self again! You'll feel really good! You won't get addicted, I promise, but if you do, I'll take full responsibility, alright? Just give it a try?"
The amber-eyed girl gave him a watery puppy-dog look, and the guys sitting on the sand beside them cheered encouragement. Makoto thought for a moment; just as he was about to decline, one of the guys said, "What have you got to lose?" He thought through this question, realizing that what he wanted most, he had already lost, and so he agreed.
"Ok, I'll do it. Just this one time."
The three goths cheered, put some grass in the swirling blue pipe that Makoto was informed was called a bowl, and lit-up. Nin took the first hit, showing Makoto how to do it, warning him not to stop if his lungs started to hurt because that was normal for the first time.
He took the bowl, watched anxiously as the rolled leaves glowed orange with flame as he held the lighter to it, and took a hit. He coughed and spluttered as smoke filled his lungs, eyes watering at the burn. Nin gave him a bottle of water and encouraged him to take another puff. He did. One after the other. He and his new company passed the bowl for what seemed like hours, using their cell phone lights to illuminate the scene when the sun had set behind the ocean and they could no longer see.
Makoto smiled and laughed more than he had in weeks, revering in the warm numbness that came with smoking the strange drug. Just like the feeling of his feet after soaking them in the cold ocean, Makoto's body jittered with sweet nothing.
Eventually, the goth boys left, leaving a heavily-stoned Makoto and a sobering-Nin to continue giggling as the stars grew and danced above the horizon. Nin looked fondly at the smiling Makoto, glad that she was the one who gave it to him, even if she had the help of her side-kick 'Mary Jane'.
"Mako-onii, give me your phone," Nin asked.
"Pft!" Makoto giggled, "OK~ here ya go~" he pulled the flip-phone from his pocket, sniggering as he almost dropped it into the chilled water which had now risen to their ankles.
Nin took the phone and entered her number into his contacts, sending herself a text from his phone to store the number on her own cell later. As she did, she noticed that Makoto had quite a few text messages and missed calls. A few from 'Mom' and a few from someone titled 'Haru-chan'. She didn't open them.
"Mako-onii, it looks like someone is worried about you. Should I take you home?" Nin asked, looking over to an unresponsive, muscular swimmer, whose glazed, red-rimmed eyes stared steadily at the dark, rippling ocean.
He shuddered gently with laughter, "Haha, being scared of the ocean feels so stupid when it's so pretty like him..."
Nin smiled at him sadly, "C'mon Mako-onii, tell me where your house is, it's getting dark, I have a car, I'll drive you there."
She then dragged the stumbling Makoto to her car and helped him into the passenger's seat, ignoring the seatbelts, and set the GPS on her phone to the address that the inhibited man had given her. Whether it was his house or not, she figured it was a place that he actually knew, and hoped she'd see him again after tonight. She figured she would as he smiled and waved at her enthusiastically after he'd gotten out of the car, and began to stumble his way up the steps at the end of the road towards 'someones' house, at least. Nin waved, and drove away.
Makoto had shuffled nearly half way up the steps, snickering to himself each time he tripped along the way, when Haruka appeared at the top of the steps wearing a mismatched jogging suit and holding a flashlight. The light was pointed in his eyes and Makoto squinted, sneezed, and laughed as he stumbled when he moved his hands rapidly in an excited wave.
"Makoto!" Haru shouted, running quickly down the steps toward his presumably-missing friend. He grabbed Makoto's grinning face in his hands and inspected it, "Are you ok? Where were you? Your mom was really worried!" Haruka said, just on the verge of rambling.
Makoto touched the hands on his face, grin widening. "Aha! Haru! It's so good to see you! I went to the beach today, it was really cooooool. You woulda liked it," Makoto babbled.
Haruka, on the other hand, was baffled. He'd never seen his friends quite like this. "Mako-Makoto, are you drunk?!" Haru (almost) exclaimed.
"LOL, nooooo, you're so silly Haru-chan."
Haru sighed, figuring that his questions would just have to be answered later. "Come one, let's get you home before your mom calls the police or something."
"Eeeeehhh, Haruuu, I wanna sleep at your house tonight. It so pretty there... and I think my mom would be pretty mad, haha, she gets like that sometimes," Makoto whined.
"Fine," Haru sighed, "Let's just go so I can call your mom and tell her I found you." Having left his own phone at home, Haruka felt around in Makoto's pockets and pulled out his. Upon flipping it open, he noticed a recent text from someone called Nin. Before opening the text, he called Makoto's mom, making up some excuse about falling asleep and forgetting that Makoto was coming over, who fell asleep and forgot to call. Makoto's mother thanked him fervently and hung up. When the boys finally made it up the steps and into Haru's house, the raven-haired man deposited his nearly asleep friend on the couch and opened the strange text:
"Hey, Mako-onii, when you wake up, send me a message. You'll probably want to meet up again. Hope things go well!"
Haru frowned at the message, finding it strange that Makoto would be doing something strange with someone he didn't know late on a school night. Everything about the situation seemed anti-Makoto. It was hard to imagine him going off and getting in trouble. Sure he'd gone and done a little trespassing before the swim-club, but both times had been with Haru and their other friends.
Haru sighed and moved to remove Makoto's shoes and jacket. His running shoes were sandy and damp, smelling of salt. The shorter man still could not believe that Makoto had gone to the beach alone, without him, spent apparently a long time there, (as his toes were wrinkled from the water), and had come back as happy as ever.
When Haru leaned the sleeping body forward to remove his jacket, that's when he smelled it: Smoke. Startled and disbelieving, Haru sniffed the jacket again. Definitely smoke. How had Haru missed an event so big in his best friends life that had caused the jovial boy to resort to... drugs? Why wasn't Makoto telling him? Haruka's throat tightened at the thought of Makoto hurting himself; at the thought of losing him. He leant over the taller man on the couch, hugging him carefully.
"Please be ok, Makoto," Haru whispered, gently running his fingers through his friend's matted, wind-whipped hair.
Perhaps, it was time to get the team together for some investigating...
Operation: Find Out What's Up With Mako-chan is a-GO! Hopefully I will actually write another chapter for this, and hopefully it will be a fix-it, and hopefully you all enjoy the story! Please comment with suggestions, not hate! People really go through this stuff, and I like my stories to have real-life situations and feels! See you all next time!