Disclaimer: I own nothing, The people and places belong to Stephanie Meyer! She rocks! Thanks to my Beta Not Done Baking, check out her stuff, you won't be dissapointed! Last, this is my first fanfic, constructive criticism is extremely appreciated but be nice :) Thanks,
Chapter 1: The Beginning of the End
My hands shook as I dialed the number. I knew what would happen before I picked up the phone, but I had to try. Why were boys so stubborn? I guess I should say men. Men. It was weird to think of him as a man but the truth was Jacob was certainly becoming just that and unquestionably Edward was already there. When you had lived more than an entire century as a seventeen-year-old, you tended to mature a bit.
It had been almost two months since I said goodbye to my best friend, my other half, while he lay in his bed recovering from an ill-fated vampire attack. Yeah, that was how my life went. The ones I loved were always in danger. I was a magnet--no a bulls eye for hazardous activity. Luckily he healed quickly thanks to his werewolf qualities. I couldn't blame Jake for not picking up the phone. I had hurt him so badly. I wouldn't want anything to do with me either. It had been like this for the past two months. I would call, no one would answer. I tried going to La Push a couple of times but no one was home. I got the message.
Jake deserved the right to have his space. He had saved me, made me feel almost whole again when I thought that would never be possible. Last year when Edward left me, my world was shattered. I know he left me because he was trying to protect me. He honestly thought I would be better off without him. After all how could a vampire and a human survive together when one was always having to protect the other from the dangers his existence put her in? How had he put it? 'And so the lion fell in love with the lamb.' Since he refused to 'damn me to eternal hell,' and let me join his family by becoming one of them, he did the only thing he thought would work. He left. How wrong he was. I had been a lifeless zombie for months. I had gone to school, gone to work, I ate, I slept, I spoke when spoken to, but that was about it. I couldn't bring myself out of the fog that dulled my senses and my pain. I didn't want to. Life hadn't made sense before Edward loved me, but it was purposeless without him. Jake had given me the one ounce of happiness I had been able to have in Edward's absence. He was my own personal sun. His perpetual happiness radiated wherever he went and his big smile was a gift to everyone who was lucky enough to see it. I missed him so much. It made the smaller piece of my heart ache just thinking about him.
No one picked up. I decided to go down to the reservation tomorrow and I would not leave until I found him. I had to see him before I left. I was taking a quick trip to Florida to see my mom for a couple of days and it was going to be another goodbye of sorts, though Renee didn't know that. I knew I would see her at the wedding but this was the last alone time I would get with my mother, I wanted to cherish it. I only had so much time before I made the "transition" to my new life and that time was to be filled with many goodbyes.
"Okay Bella I'm ready for you!" Alice called.
I walked into Alice and Jasper's room at the Cullen house, my house, I was starting to think of it as and I cringed internally. This house was also on my list of things I would have to give up and I was really going to miss it. I turned to see what it was Alice had for me to do.
"The seamstress has finished with the alterations, now all you need to do is try it on to make sure it fits perfectly." She said.
"Alice why do I have to put it on? Can't you see if it is going to fit right?"
She pursed her lips, "Just because you are ridiculously unenthusiastic about this wedding doesn't mean you have to spoil everyone else's fun."
I sighed; I had to remind myself that was why I was doing this. For Edward mostly but also for Alice, for Charlie and Renee… "Okay Alice put it on me," I spread my arms out and stood there like a rag doll.
She clapped her hands like a little girl and smiled, "Yay!" Once she had it on me I just stared at myself in the mirror with my mouth hanging open.
"Alice it is beautiful, thank you, oh thank you. It is exactly what I imagined," and then I leaned over and kissed her marble cheek as I continued to see my Ann of Greene Gables fantasy come to life.
This was the second best thing about getting married, besides of course the first which was making Edward happy. The dress. I was not into fashion at all, that was more of Alice's realm. I liked looking nice and feeling comfortable but other than that I was pretty much indifferent. This however was a different story. If I was going to subject myself to the ridicule of my friends and family that getting married, gulp, at eighteen brings, I was going to do it looking beautiful. And quite frankly I was frustrated how completely ordinary I looked when next to Edward so I really wanted something special for this. Plus I knew how happy he would be when he saw me in this dress that Alice had specifically chosen for both of us.
As she helped me carefully unzip the dress she started talking so fast I had a hard time understanding her. "Now I have a whole list of things I want to talk to you about. We need to talk about the band and what selections of music you want played, although I am sure Edward already has a list, we need to finalize flowers, you need to look at the guest list one more time…."
"Alice you're wonderful, I love my dress, but I told you, you take care of everything else. I know you have impeccable taste and you know I hate planning and decisions and weddings."
"Knock knock," Edward appeared at the door with one hand covering his eyes. "Bella can I have you for a minute?"
"Of course, you know you don't have to cover your eyes we've been through this before. I'm sure you have already seen it in Alice's thoughts…"
"Bella Swan, how little confidence you have in me," Alice retorted. Her pixie face was scrunched up in defiance, "I have been very careful to think nothing about it so that it will be a complete surprise and I have not allowed anyone else to see it so there." She was still pouting when I went over and hugged her. I murmured another thank you before taking Edward's hand and following him out into the hall and down to his room.
When the door was closed he quickly pulled me into his arms in a tight embrace and lovingly stroked my hair.
"You can have more than a minute." I said.
"What?" He looked at me with a quizzical brow and my favorite crooked grin.
"You asked if you could have me for a minute but I was thinking more like forever," I teased him.
His butterscotch eyes smoldered at me as he leaned down slowly and put a soft kiss on my lips. My heart started overreacting predictably. I wondered for the millionth time if I was ever going to get my reactions under control, and almost like he could hear my thoughts Edward responded, "You know that is one of my favorite parts." I smiled at him.
"So what was it you wanted to talk about," I asked him. He looked at me like he was thinking about how to approach the subject.
He hesitated, "It's about your trip to Florida. I want to come with you. I just don't feel comfortable with you going alone."
I exhaled slowly trying to be patient, "Edward we have already been through this, I have to do this alone, it is not going to be easy saying goodb-- telling her, well you know letting go, and it is important to me that you let me do this."
"I know, I would go and leave you completely alone the entire time, but I can't help but worry about your safety. You know I would be in agony for the entirety of your trip."
"Look, I know I am a magnet for danger and accidents but you have to start giving me a little bit of credit. When you were gone I learned to ride motorcycles and do all kinds of things and I kept myself alive."
He cleared his throat uncomfortably; "Actually you had some help in that department."
I looked down as a wave of pain washed over me when he brought up Jake. It was true that he was the reason I was still alive, having given me a reason to live in the first place when I thought all hope was lost. He also drove me to the emergency room countless times, and he was the one who saved me from drowning when I jumped off the cliff. He got his pack to work with my new family to defeat Victoria's army earlier this summer, not to mention his ridiculous body heat that kept me warm during the blizzard.
"Your right I did, and actually… Please don't be mad but I wanted to talk to you about an idea I had."
"Go on." He looked like he knew what direction I was heading in and he didn't seem to like it one bit.
"I was thinking of asking Jake to come with me. He could protect me from any harm and it would be nice to spend some time with him before, well before I can't anymore. Since it is a goodbye trip I could kill two birds with one stone." I looked up at him hopefully knowing that this hurt him. I was sure he was remembering that terrible night I had spent in agony crying out my broken heart at giving up Jacob. The truth was I was in love with Jacob, I had kissed him before the fight against Victoria earlier this summer. That said, I loved Edward more. I knew who I couldn't live without and who I could. So I had made my choice and said goodbye to Jacob. It was a monstrous thing to have Edward witness but he had held me through all my tears and I wanted him to know there wouldn't be a repeat performance. "Just as friends Edward, don't worry it won't be like last time I promise."
He looked like he was going to argue and then he sighed in defeat. "Okay Bella. I love and trust you and if this is what you want I won't argue. I have seen first hand that Jacob can take care of you as much as needed. Of course not as well as I can," he dazzled me with my favorite smile again, "I will be tormented the entire time you are gone so try to come home soon please."
"I will," I said as I wrapped my arms around him and wound my fingers through his hair. I kissed him softly. As usual I got carried away and I felt him tense beneath me and slightly separate us.
"You, love, have got to learn to behave," he teased.
"You have to learn to be able to handle simple kissing if we are going to try… you promised," I reminded him.
"I know Bella and we will after August 13th."
I made a face that I hoped he didn't see as I was reminded of the looming date of our impending marriage. It wasn't that I wasn't sure of Edward. Obviously if I was giving up my friends, my family, and my very mortality I was pretty sure I wanted to be with him forever, it was just the unwelcome feeling that marriage brought on. I reached up on my tiptoes to give him one last kiss before I left for La Push.
"I'll see you tonight?" I asked even though I already knew the answer.
He smiled and nodded as he said "you are so completely ridiculous sometimes."
I smiled back at him. Edward spent almost every night with me, the only nights I was left alone were when he had to hunt. I was immensely looking forward to when it became every single night. Of course he couldn't sleep, but he had a wonderful time watching me. I liked to talk in my sleep and Edward seemed to find it very entertaining.
"I love you Bella."
"I love you too," and with that I headed out of the house, glad that the first person I had to convince was so easy to win over. Jake would be another story. First I had to find him.